Todoroki's POV:
"Hey, I'm done buttering the bread, you wanna make the toast?" I ask him as Mina just stays by his side, not talking. He gets up pretty quickly and walks over to me. I face him and he just walks up to me before stopping right in my face and pressing his body close to mine. He doesn't talk or anything, he just stays there and I look up at Mina who just shrugs, looking at both of us sadly.
I wrap my arms around Bakugo and activate my quirk a little so he gets warm. He's shivering even with the blanket wrapped around him securely. "Hey, do you want to go back to tell cabin?" I ask again. He just shrugs and I don't know how to take that. "Babe, what do you want to do?" He sighs, but it sounds like he's about to cry. He takes a deep breath like he's about to talk, but he stops as he gets choked up. I rub my hands up and down his back and look around to see if anyone besides Mina is looking at us. Thankfully it's it Kaminari and he doesn't draw attention to us. He just gives me this pained look and I want to go over and hug him.
I bring my focus back to Bakugo and squeeze him tighter. "I just need a minute," he finds finally breathes out. I nod before realizing he can't see me when his face is buried into my chest. "Okay. Take all the time you need," I assure. He just nods, not talking anymore. He's really not okay.
"Do you think you'll be up for hanging out with your friends? I'll be here the whole time if you want. Just let me know if you really want to. We can wait till after we eat before you decide. Okay?" I ask him. He nods into my chest. He takes a deep breath before pulling away. He sighs heavily and nods at me. "Okay, I'm better," he says. I look at him hesitantly. "It's okay to not be okay. You don't have to force yourself to pretend to be okay," I say, voice low so that people don't hear us. Mina probably still can, but she's not staring at us.
"I'm better now, really. I just needed like a recharge or something. Let me just make the toast and let's eat. I know you're hungry," he says, grabbing the plate of buttered bread and taking it over to the stove. I had already turned on the stove for all the pans we were using. One for the egg, one for the toast, and one for the spam.
I put as many slices of spam I can on the pan in the back and I get some butter and put some on the other pan for the eggs. Once that's melted, I start cracking the eggs and look over at Bakugo who's really focusing on the toast. "Hey, you up for talking? I wanna know more about music, and the usual typed of movies you like," I say. He looks up at me and the look in his eye makes me melt. I smile at him and he looks away quickly, face turning red as he checks one side of the toast.
"Well, like I said earlier, I like being able to connect with people when it comes to music. I hate feeling alone, so usually listening to songs that have lyrics that I can relate to is reassuring. Now, for movies, I like action, but sometimes they make me really anxious, so it depends on my mood. Marvel and DC are my favorite, but I enjoy comedies too. Like the ones with the American actor, Adam Sandler. Oh, and sometimes cartoon movies are fun," he says. There's this tone in his voice. Like he's really enjoying himself. It makes me happy just listening to him. I could listen to this all day.
I quickly look away as he continues talking as I remember about the stuff I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on. The spam is ready on one side and the egg is finally getting cooked. "Like the one where he goes on a blind date. He has a bad time and doesn't want to see her again, but then when he goes on a vacation with his daughters, he sees her again. It's funny," he explains. I smile as he talks. The movie doesn't ring a bell though. "Never seen it," I tell him. He stops looking at the toast and looks up at me. "What?" He asks with this shocked look on his face. "We have to watch it. And any Adam Sandler movies you haven't watched. Did you know he also produces and directs movies? He's very talented," he says. The light in his eyes as he talks makes me want to die in his arms right now.
"I'm up for watching those movies. You really like 'em, no?" He smiles and shrugs, going back to look at the toast. I frown since he looked away from me. I could look at him all day. Woah, that's creepy.
"Yeah, I guess I do like them." I nod, keeping that in mind. I don't have any internet connection here, so we can't watch any movies I didn't download, but we can have an Adam Sandler movie marathon when we get back to the dorms. We'll make a whole day out of it.
I notice that the eggs are almost done, but I like my egg kinda dry compared to most. "Hey, you think this is good? Or do you want me to cook it more?" I ask him. He looks over and grimaces. "Eugh no. It needs more time. I don't like wet eggs. It makes me wanna throw up. Especially when the extras like it like that," he says. I laugh and when he looks at me, his lips turn up into a smile. "Good, because I like my eggs dry too," I say. He nods before moving the toast that's done and starts making the last two.
I turn back to see Mina looking at us and I turn red. She probably saw me looking at Bakugo like a weirdo. Ugh, great. I awkwardly turn back to make sure the spam is done and turn off the stove. I put the slices on a plate that has a few paper towels on it and then turn off the stove for the eggs.
"You done?" I ask. He checks the other side of the toast and nods, turning off the stove and putting the last two slices on the plate with the rest of the toast. "I'll grab the plates for us. Take these two to the counter?" I ask, pointing at the plates of spam and toast. He nods and carefully does so. I walk over to the pantry and grab two paper plates since we already have enough dishes to wash.
"Hey, so you guys make up your mind about staying here for a while?" Mina asks us when I sit down next to Bakugo after I served us our egg. I look over at Bakugo to see what he wants to do. He just look at Mina and scowls. "Is this why you stayed here stalking us? Tch, only for a bit. I'll get tired of you losers if I stay too long," he says. Mina squeals in excitement before pouting when it registers exactly how he accepted the offer. "Ugh, you're so mean. And I stayed here because you two are so cute. Especially how Todoroki was looking at you," she says. Great, I thought I could count on her to not say anything.
Bakugo turns to me and raises and eyebrow. "What? You're you. What else am I supposed to do? I can't help it," I say, trying to busy myself by putting avocado on my toast to avoid embarrassment. "So you're a stalker too?" He asks me. I look at him and shake my head. "What? No," I say quickly. He smiles and shakes his lead in amusement. Then he turns to Mina and glares at her. "You got your show. Stop stalking us already," he says. She sighs and walks over to the others.
"Were you really staring at me?" He asks. My face turns red at the exact moment he looks at me and I turn around, embarrassed. I didn't exactly plan on being seen looking at him. He was just so happy and look at him. How can you not stare? "Tch, I'll take that as a yes," he concludes. I laugh nervously and stuff some egg in my mouth. I forgot to put salt on mine.
As I reach for the salt, I look over at Bakugo. "Are you really up for staying?" He nods. "Just not for long like I told Mina. I'll get tired too quickly and I don't wanna have a breakdown again," he sighs. I nod, understanding. "You want me to stay? Or do you want me to leave you with your friends?" I ask him.
"Stay." Is all he says and we leave it at that. He's so cute, but he's not as happy as he should be. It hurts me and I hate it.
~~~~~
Katsuki's POV:
"So what do you wanna do now?" Kaminari asks after we finish a few rounds of fighting in Mortal Kombat. Everyone shrugs as they think about what to do. I'm feeling pretty alright. My hand was hurting as I held the controller, and I keep thinking about stuff, so I'm not doing great. But I'm alright.
"You still wanna stay? Or are you ready to go back?" IcyHot asks me quietly. I sigh and lean into him. I really do just want to go back to the cabin, but the rest are having a lot of fun and seem to actually be enjoying my presence. They keep including me in stuff and it seems so natural. How can they include me so easily? It kind of makes me happy that they like me here. It improves my mood, but I'm getting tired.
"Let's stay for another thirty minutes. I'm having fun, but I'm getting tired," I answer. He nods and puts his arm around me. "We don't have any ideas about what to do Bakugo," Sero whines.
"Can't you do anything on your own? Let's just play the Wii for a bit. I'm ditching you in a while, so this'll do for now." They all start whining and pouting.
"Aww man, Todoroki is stealing you all the time now," Kirishima groans. The others grunt in agreement and I roll my eyes at them. "Whatever." I feel this nagging in the back of my mind. It's telling me that they really don't care that Todoroki is stealing me. They finally have a way out. I shake my head and push that thought away. "Hey, you okay?" Halfie asks. I look over at him and nod. I should tell him. "Actually, no. I'll tell you in the cabin," I say. He squeezes my shoulder in reassurance and presses a kiss to my cheek.
I groan and look at him. He just kissed me in front of my friends. "Tch, stop that," I say, voice lowered. He laughs and does it again. I look back at the others to see if they saw and Sero was the only one. He gives me a teasing look and I glare at him. His eyes widen in fear and he turns away quickly. I laugh a bit at that and then glare at Halfie. "Ugh, you're lucky I love you," I tell him. He smiles cheekily and shrugs. "What can I say? I'm a very lovable guy," he says. I shove him playfully with my elbow and he frowns. "Meanie," he says like a little kid. This guy is so dumb.
"Shut up. You sound like a toddler," I laugh. Someone taps my knee and I look away from IcyHot to see who did it. It was Kaminari with a Wii remote. I mumble a small 'thanks' as I take it. "We're gonna play Super Mario Bros," he says. I nod and wait for the game for start.
Halfie hadn't played at all the whole time, so I offer him my remote so that he has a chance to play. He shakes his head. "Nah, I'm just having a good time watching you play. Like a stalker," he says. I smile and roll my eyes at him. "You're really weird." He just shrugs and then points at the TV for me to pay attention. I do that and choose a character to play as. Soon, they choose where to start playing and we begin the game.
We all laugh as Sero falls down the hole and dies instantly. "DUDE! we legit just started the game and you already died. You dumbass," Kirishima yells at him. Sero frowns and shoves Kirishima since he was right next to him. "I KNOW! Ugh, I suck," he whines. Mina laughs at his stupidity and I turn to see what Kaminari is doing since he's not playing and is really quiet. He's just looking at me and I frown at him. "What?" He just smiles and shrugs. "You look like you're having a good time. It makes me happy," he says and turns back to the TV. I feel a little warm at his words. He cares about me. It's just crazy to think about.
We play for about an hour until I start getting a bit messy. The pit in my chest starts getting heavier, so I think now would be the time to take a break. I look at Halfie and he turns to me. I give him a look and he nods. "Okay, let's go," he says. I get off the couch first since I was practically on top of him and stand there, waiting for him to stand up. I tap Kaminari's shoulder and when he looks up at me, I hand him the remote I was using. He looks a bit concerned at how quiet I'm being. "I just need to breathe. I'm good," I assure him. I tell him quietly to not draw attention to myself. He just nods and gives me a smile.
"Okay! See you tomorrow dude," he says as I start walking away. I wave goodbye and nod. Todoroki puts his arm around me and waves goodbye to Kaminari with his other hand. He gives Kaminari a small smile and then a thumbs up. I look at Halfie as we step outside into the cold air. "Why'd you give him a thumbs up?" I thought that was our thing. Woah, what? Why am I thinking that? Everyone gives each other a thumbs up. It's nothing special. I need to chill.
"Oh, that was kind of our thing right? I just wanted to let him know that I was going to take good care of you. I didn't know what else I should've done. Maybe done the 'okay' hand sign," he thinks out loud. "Tch, no. It's okay, it's really not a big deal. I just felt sad over nothing. Like really, it's just a thumbs up, everyone does it," I tell him honestly. "Yeah, but it was our thing. I liked that it was our thing. Didn't you?" He asks me. I smile and nod. "Yeah, I did." "What was on your mind earlier?" He asks. I think about what he meant for a second before remembering.
"When they said that you were always stealing me and complaining, I felt like maybe they were happy that you were taking me away from them. It's dumb," I tell him. He shakes his head. "They really love you. There's no reason that they wouldn't."
"I guess, but thank you. I shook my head to shake away the thoughts. That's why I was shaking my head," I say. He nods before looking down at me and smiling. I smile back up at him and he leans down to give me a quick kiss. "Which movie do you wanna rewatch tonight?" He asks. I laugh because he was only able to download 5 movies before the trip. "Um, I guess The Bee Movie," I say. He stiffens up and stops walking all of a sudden. I freak out a little bit before he turns to me dramatically with finger guns and says, "Ya like jazz?" He couldn't keep the smile away and I start laughing at him. I hold onto his shoulder and throw my head back, laughing like a maniac.
"You ass! You kinda scared me a bit before being a dumbass. 'Ya like jazz?' What idiots have you been hanging around?" I laugh out. I can't seem to stop laughing. His stupid finger guns and that small smile he couldn't hide. I continue laughing and when my laughter dies down, I take a deep breath, looking at Halfie. He's smiling warmly and I look at him confused. "What?" He just shrugs. "You looked all cute. I really like seeing you laugh. I like it," he says. I elbow his side since I can't punch him without my fist feeling like it's gonna fall off. "Don't say stuff like that. Ugh," I complain and link our arms, leading us the rest of the way to our cabins.
"But you do look cute. Especially with that blanket around you. You look really cute," he says, not giving up. "Argh, okay I get it. Stop saying that now," I grumble. He laughs a bit as we enter the room and I turn to him. "Why are you laughing?" He stiffles his laugh a bit and says, "You look all flustered... It's cute." I groan and hide my face in my blanket.
"Aw, come on. I'm kidding. Let me see your face," he says, trying to pull the blanket, but lightly to not hurt my wrists or hand. I let go and he pulls off the blanket. I turn away, pouting. "Will a kiss make it better?" He asks. I raise an eyebrow, looking at him as I think about it. "Hm, yeah," I say. He smiles and leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips.
I lead us to the bed and we sit down. It lasts a while with his hands on my hips. We pull away after a bit and kisses my head before standing up. "Let's watch the movie," he says. I nod, and scoot into the bed more. "I need to use the restroom. You set up the movie," he says, handing me his phone. I nod and take it. I grab the blanket I've been wrapped in all day and wrap myself in it once again. I open up Netflix and go to his downloaded movies and press the bee movie. I restart it and put pause, waiting for Halfie so we can cuddle like always.
He makes me feel good. Happy. I always feel heavy. Like my thoughts are too much, and I can finally get a break from them when I'm with Todoroki. It's like that with my friends too, but Todoroki makes me feel wanted. It's not like my friends don't make me feel wanted, but it's a different type of want. It's just good to have people behind me. There for me. I can trust all of them, but for some reason I feel way more attached to Kaminari and Todoroki. They are the ones I'd go to first no matter what. It's probably because they were the first to find out and they both were there when I tried to kill myself.
I snap out of my thoughts as I hear the sink water running. I look back at Halfie's phone and see that it timed out and turned off. I sigh heavily and turn it back on, looking at the lock screen. It's me in the penguin onsie throwing the finger. I laugh a bit. I don't look bad. Todoroki comes out of the restroom and smiles at me as he closes the door. "What's up? Why are you smiling?" "Your lock screen. It's funny," I say. He smiles as he looks at it. "You look hot and cute at the same time. I don't know how you do it," he sighs and kisses my cheek. I grumble and he sits on the bed, half leaning on the wall, half lying down on the bed.
I get in between his legs like last time and unlock his phone, putting play on the movie. I just need some time to relax with my boyfriend. I'm always with him, but he's like a charger. He makes me feel better. Same with Kaminari really, but he's actually like a charger. He actually charges stuff. He's energetic and I can tell he really cares about my mental health. I know the others do too, but Kaminari has been the one to check on me all the time and help me out. It's probably bad to feel like one friend is better than the rest, but I can't help it. You can really tell when that dumbass is concerned for you. Like really concerned.
He gets all serious and that's not a word you would, ever in a million years, use to describe Kaminari. Mina, Sero, and Kirishima do care, but it's kind of like they don't know how to act around me. Kaminari just does what thinks is right and goes with it. He doesn't lie about checking in on me or anything like that, he just acts on his impulses. The others seem cautious around me like if they're afraid to hurt me. Kaminari knows to keep his distance, but still gets close enough to make me feel normal. It's not the other's fault, but it's just that Kaminari knows how to handle me better than the other idiots.
Same with Halfie. He knows exactly what to say and do when something happens. It's concerning how much he actually knows how to handle me. Then it hits me and I feel guilty.
Ugh, am I stupid? Of course! He went though rough shit too and he was just a kid. How could I be such an asshole and not ask him about it? I never even thought about it cause I'm an asshole. Agh. "Babe, can we talk?" I ask him. The movie was playing, but I wasn't paying attention. "Hm? Sure, what's up?" He asks. I put pause on the movie and move away from in between his legs, sitting across from him. "I wanna know how you know how to handle me so well when I have a break down or panic attack," I start. "Like, tell me about your childhood. I wanna know about it," I say.
He gets this confused look on his face. "Why'd you think about this all of a sudden?" He asks. "I was thinking about how you and Kaminari knew how to treat me and make me feel okay and I remembered that you went through tough times as a kid. You were just a kid. Tell me about it. How did you get better?"
"Well, I got help from my siblings. They were always there for me and I always knew I could count on them. It's not the same as you. You never had anyone to talk to, but I did. I didn't think it was such a big deal compared to what you're going through, especially since I'm way past my bad times," he says. I frown. "It's still important to me. I think it's a big deal. Even if you did get the help, you were a kid. I'm sorry you had to go through that and I'm sorry I didn't ask you about it before. I feel selfish," I say, guilt present.
He shakes his head and grabs both of my hands carefully. "Listen, I know you care. It's old stuff and it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm okay now. I've gotten better and I like my life the way that it is. It just keeps getting better for me. I don't even think about that old stuff, so don't blame yourself for not thinking about it either. I'm doing good now, so all that old stuff isn't really that important to talk about, really," he assures. I nod, believing him. "You're sure?" I ask. He nods and smiles. "Yes I'm sure. If anything ever comes up or bothers me, you'd be the first person I'd tell. I wasn't hiding anything from you, I just genuinely forgot about that," he says.
"Okay, thank you for telling me. Now, I need to ask Kaminari if he's okay. He knows exactly how to treat me. It's weird and I'm worried that he's gone through the same thing. I want to talk to him," I tell Halfie. He just nods and runs his thumb over my knuckles of my left hand, so it doesn't hurt. "When do you wanna talk to him?" He asks me. I sigh heavily, and think about it. "I don't know. I know he's having a good time on the trip and I'm worried that if I ask him something that he'd freak out, but I don't want to leave him alone for so long if he's going through something similar. He was really affected by my attempt and I'm scared that maybe I made it worse for him. Like maybe I triggered something. I don't know, I just hate this. Why does bad mental health even exist? Agh," I say.
He pulls me into a hug and nods. "I know. It's really hard, but maybe you can talk to him tomorrow. If you ask him and he denies that something is wrong, but you feel like he's still hiding something, maybe you can open up to him. Tell him about your stuff, and let him know that he can trust you. Let him know that he can count on you and that he's not alone. I'm sure that'll help him tons. Just don't push him, yeah?"
"Okay, thank you," I tell him and lean into the hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you," I say. He shrugs. "I know, I'm amazing." I laugh and play with the front of his shirt.
"My hand still hurts. I don't really know about my cuts since I haven't moved my left arm enough to know if they still hurt, but I'm pretty sure they do," I tell him. He sighs heavily and rubs his hand up and down my arm. "Just keep limiting your movement of both. I got you, okay? The cuts definitely will hurt if you move your wrist too much. They looked bad," he says, squeezing me tighter. I feel really bad. "I know, I'm sorry. I will keep my movements limited because I know you've got me." He sighs happily. I press my face onto his chest and just stay there. "See? You're cute. You don't like when I say that but then you go and do cute stuff like this," he complains. I just grumble and shake my head.
~~~~~
The next day, I wake up still in Todoroki's arms. "Good morning sleepy head," he says. I look up at him and smile. "Hi." He smiles back and says, "Hi." I get off of his chest and the bed too. "I need to use the restroom and brush my teeth," I say, taking off the blanket I'm still wrapped in. I shiver because of the cold air and he nods. "Okay, come back quickly so that I can do the same and then we can cuddle," he says as I walk into the restroom. I poke my head out of the doorway and nod. "Okay sounds good," I say.
I close the door and then do my business before washing my hands and then brushing my teeth. A few minutes later I step out of the restroom and see that Halfie is tapping away on his phone. He kind of turns his head to me as his eyes linger on the screen. He's still tapping and I find it humorous. "You look crazy, pay attention to your game," I tell him. He let's out a small laugh as I get in the bed next to him. He's playing Crossy Road. "Oi, you still play that game? It's like a million years old," I tell him. He shrugs and pouts a but as he taps and swipes.
"It's still fun," he replies. I smile and kiss his cheek before burying myself in the blankets. He pulls them off of my face and smiles at me. "My turn to use the restroom," he says and then climbs over me and gets off the bed. "Hurry, I'm cold," I say. He nods and gives me a thumbs up and he continues walking to the restroom. He closes the door and I sigh. I don't have any bad thoughts but I still feel eh. It's nothing new, but usually my mind is clouded with a whole bunch of hate for myself. I'd usually wake up and the first thing I would think was 'fuck my life' before starting the day. It had been quite a while that I hadn't woken up feeling like absolute trash, so this is an improvement.
Sometimes I do feel worse than normal, but what can I do? Oh yeah, I need to take my pills. I stand up and go over to my bag to grab my pills and take one of the many unfinished water bottles. I quickly down the pills and practically run back to the bed and bury myself back into the warm confinements of the bed. It's so cold. I love the cold, but I hate being so damn cold. It's a love-hate relationship. I hear a laugh and I turn to the restroom door. Halfie is standing there and has a huge smile on his face. "Tch what?" He closes the door behind him and walks towards me. "You looked so cute running back to the bed. What were you doing over there anyway?"
I frown at the 'cute' part and say, "I was taking my pills." He nods and climbs over me to hide under the covers from the cold with me. I hug him instantly and bury my face in his chest. "I swear you're gonna be the death of me," he says. I pull away and look at him confused. "Huh? Why?" He smiles and pecks my lips. "Cause you're so cute. I'll say it a million times over. You're so cute. You're so cute. You're so-" "Okay! I get it. You think I'm cute. Shut it," I say, hiding back into his warm chest. I hum happily as I close my eyes. "I wanna go back to sleep," I say.
He sighs. "Me too, but we can't. It's already 11 and if we go back to sleep, we won't be able to sleep at night." I whine into his chest and he laughs a bit. "Come on. We don't have to leave the cabin but we can't sleep all day," he says. "Argh fine. But can we sleep all day tomorrow?" I ask. He stays quiet for a while before nodding. "Yeah, that sounds great. I think the weather was supposed to get really bad tomorrow. Worse than last time," he says. "That means you have to keep me warm," I say.
"Anything for you," he says back. I smile. He's going to be the death of me.
***
Word Count: 5,289
Hello my dudes! I know this chapter isn't that long, but I'll try to make the next ones longer to make up for only posting once a week. Do you like the chapters? I feel like they could use something more, so leave suggestions or tell me what you'd like to see. I love you all and thank you all so much for reading! <3