This will probably be posted late and not be my ACTUAL 100th one shot, but it's still my little celebration for 100 chapters (100?! What the fuck?!)
I asked ya'll what tropes you want to see and instead of giving you a few, here's them all
I'm gonna get sappy for a second if that's okay. When I started this book I never thought that I'd get to 100 one shots. I didn't expect anyone to read let alone like my one shots. This book has changed my life more than I'd like to admit so thank you all for reading and commenting on my little weird stories. I love you all so so sososososo much.
Okay I'll shut up now. To the one shot!
•••
""AS SOON AS I GRADUATE I WILL BURN THIS FUCKING APARTMENT TO ASH!"
"YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BURN IT DOWN. YOU'RE TWO MONTHS BEHIND ON RENT AND EVERY PENNY YOU MAKE GOES INTO SOME DUMBASS'S PATREON"
"IT'S AN INVESTMENT!" Michael slams his bedroom door behind him.
Welcome to apartment 26a.
The two bedroom flat is owned by Jeremy Heere. Nearly two years ago, he decided to get a roommate to split the rent with. That's when he met Micheal Mell, a student who's getting his degree in computer science in a university three minutes from Jeremy's apartment.
What a perfect situation, right? Of course not.
Jeremy Heere and Micheal Mell fucking despise each other. They wake up everyday with the intent of making their roommate miserable. This makes living together kinda difficult.
Especially when Micheal is two months behind rent.
Luckily for Micheal, Jeremy won't kick him out (at least this time). He has something Jeremy needs. He reluctantly needs it yes, but he needs it none the less.
Jeremy stuck a deal; Micheal has another two months to get rent but he has to be Jeremy's date to his cousins wedding. Michael doesn't know why Jeremy needs a date or why it needs to be him, but he'll walk through fire as long as he has somewhere to live; even if it is with Jeremy.
Enough exposition. Let's go back to apartment 26a.
Jeremy is currently banging on Micheal's bedroom door.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE WE'LL MISS OUR BOOKING!" he yells, kicking the door for good measure.
The door cracks open. Michael sticks his head out the door.
"Hey I was wondering, are we a bow tie gay couple or a full tie gay couple?"
Ah yes. Bow tie and full tie; the two genders.
"Go fuck yourself" Jeremy responds. "We have to go now"
Micheal swings the door open, nearly hitting Jeremy. He smirks in his Hawaiian shirt, flower chain and booty shorts. The bulging hiking backpack on his back weighs him down but he doesn't care.
Jeremy doesn't waste his breath on Micheal's satirical attire. He's just happy that Micheal is ready to go. He doesn't express this happiness though; he instead gives some backhand comment about Micheal looking like a hooker.
They bicker and mock all the way down to Micheal's PT cruiser. Micheal jumps into the front seat as his flips his roommate off. As he puts on his seatbelt and turns on the ignition, there's a tap on the window. Jeremy glares at him through the glass. Micheal rolls down the window with a sarcastic smile.
"I'm driving" Jeremy says bluntly.
"No you're not" Micheal replies casually.
"Yes I am- I know the way to the hotel, you don't"
"I have Google Maps. I'll find my way"
"No you won't find your way because I'm driving"
This goes on for sometime.
Eventually, Jeremy slumps into the passenger seat. Much to Micheal's protest, he puts his feet on the dashboard to complete his moody brooding look. Micheal decides to ignore Jeremy for the entire ride and blare ABBA on the radio instead.
Jeremy hates ABBA.
⚣
Jeremy drops his bag onto the reception desk.
"Jeremy Heere for his reservation" he deadpans.
The receptionist looks startled. Jeremy just stares down at her with the eyes of someone who has seen hell everyday of their life. She clears his throat, turning to her computer.
"Okay . . . is that Heere with three es?" She checks.
"Ye-p" Jeremy pop's the p, shooting down her chipper demeanour.
She slowly turns back to the computer, slightly afraid.
"Room 324, oceanside view with a minibar and queen-sized bed?" She confirms.
"Ye-" "Hey babe lemme grab your bag for you~" Micheal slinks beside Jeremy, taking his backpack off the desk.
Jeremy glares at him, confused as flip flapping fuck. Micheal just smiles sarcastically, taking Jeremy's hand. Jermey doesn't hold his back.
Micheal looks to the receptionist.
"We're here for our honeymoon" he lies, gently shouldering his fake boyfriend.
"Oh congratulations!" She exclaims, clapping her hands. "How long have you been together?"
"Oh it feels like forever! Right babe?" Micheal practically squeals.
Jeremy scowls. "Sorry about him. He had a bad salad on the way here" Micheal says to the receptionist. "If we could just get the key and get him upstairs . . ."
"Oh of course!" She slides the key to Micheal with a grin.
"Thanks hon!" Micheal strides to the elevator, tugging Jeremy along.
As soon as the elevator doors close in front of them, Jeremy snatches his hand back.
"What the fuck was that about, babe?"
"I figured if I'm going to be dating you, I might as well have some fun with it" Micheal smirks.
"I fucking hate you" Jeremy mutters.
"Sugar, you love me. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we?"
The doors slide open.
Their hotel room is nice. Like, nice nice. The plush white carpet looks good as new. The cream walls and ornate wallpaper compliment the pastel curtains and padded chairs. Even the lamps look fancy. This is a really nice place to have a wedding.
As soon as they step inside Micheal dives into the bathroom on the left. He gasps as the Hollywood-style lights bordering the giant mirror.
"The mirror is huge I love it!" He exclaims from within, grabbing the complimentary soaps and shampoos from the counter.
Jeremy walks on into the main part of the room. A TV sits on a desk against one wall, perpendicular to a curtain covered balcony. He discards his bag and coat and shoes as he walks, ready to just flop onto his bed. But he doesn't find his bed.
"You have to be fucking kidding me!"
Micheal emerges out of the bathroom. He freezes next to Jeremy.
"No . . ."
"There's only one fucking bed" Jeremy throws up his hands in defeat. "Okay im not dealing with this right now we have a wedding to go to in . . ." Jeremy checks his watch. "-four hours"
"Pshh we have plenty of time- and we should use that time to order food cause I am starving" Micheal jumps onto the bed, stretching out across it.
"Call room service or something I don't care" Jeremy rubs his face. "I'm taking a shower"
"No dont" Micheal interjects, making Jeremy raises an eyebrow. "You have plenty of time to shower just do it later. We got a lot to discuss first"
"Discuss?"
"Sit down" Micheal moves over so he's sitting against the headboard. Jeremy hesitantly sits cross legged opposite him. The bed has cream sheets that feel silky against Jeremy's hands. Micheal sits against at least three cushions because hotels always give way too many cushions.
"If we're gonna fake date, I need to know why we're doing this"
"We're doing this because I need a date to my cousins wedding" Jeremy responds.
"Y- well doi" Micheal rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean. Explain the situation to me properly or I'm driving back home"
It's bold of Micheal to make that threat. He knows that if he leaves he'll also have to leave the apartment. But his risk pays off.
"I uh . . ." Jeremy blows a raspberry, looking to the ceiling. "I had a boyfriend for a few years and he met my family and stuff but we broke up. My family don't know. It'll be easier to break the news if I have a new boyfriend. And the only reason I asked you is because literally everyone else I know is going to a Neil Breen convention called 'Where have I Breen?'"
Micheal raises an eyebrow with a light chuckle.
"I was . . . not expecting an actual explanation there"
"You asked. I answered. You're welcome" Jeremy sighs, looking down at his fidgeting hands.
Micheal clicks his tongue. "Alrighty, next question. How is this going to work?"
"Hmm?"
"Like . . . we're fake dating, right?" Micheal states the obvious. "Does that mean we hold hands or something? What if someone asks how we met or how long we've been together, what do we say?"
"Oh shit" Jeremy straightens up. He hasn't thought about this plan at all; turns out it requires actual effort.
"Okay . . . um- if anyone asks, we met the way we actually met, okay? I needed a roommate, you needed a place to stay. We started dating a year ago and that's that"
"No that is not that. The details is what everyone cares about" Micheal insists. "Who asked who out? Where did we go for our first date? Who's the red gay and who's the blue gay?"
Jeremy throws his head back and groans.
"Fine I get the point. I asked you out-"
Micheal loudly clears his throat.
Jeremy rolls his eyes. "You asked me out and we went to an arcade. We went to a picture booth thing and got a strip of pictures and I won you a prize in a claw machine"
"Wow. How often do you think about our 'first date?'" Micheal asks, only half joking.
"Don't flatter yourself- it's a scene from a book" his roommate mumbles, cheeks blushed red.
"Oh I'm sure it is"
Ha! Imagine going on a date with Jeremy. That would be so weird, doing all that couple stuff. Imagine holding his hand or kissing him-
"What a fucking second" Micheal interrupts his own thoughts. "Are we gonna have to like, act like a couple?"
"Well duh. We can't go in there acting like strangers" Jeremy says.
"No- Jeremy- are we gonna have to act like a couple?" Micheal throws in excessive hand gestures to hammer the point home.
Jeremy still doesn't get it.
"For fucks sa- are we gonna hold hands and kiss?"
Jeremy sucks in a breath is surprise. He freezes with his jaw hanging open. He exhales.
"Oh. Oh yeah um . . . of course we do, right? How else are we gonna prove that we're a couple?"
"Yeah" Micheal nods. Things immediately get awkward as they think of the inevitability of kissing one another. That's so weird. They lapse into silence, unable to look at each other.
"Should we like . . ." Jeremy sighs. This is awkward. ". . . practise? Just so when we do do . . . that stuff it doesn't look like our first time doing it"
"That's a good idea. It'll help sell the story" Micheal agrees. He holds out his left hand to Jeremy. "Take my hand"
Jeremy slides his hand into Micheal's. He realises that he has never touched Micheal before. Sure, he has shoved him out of annoyance or grabbed him while trying to get something from him, but not proper skin-on-skin contact.
The both stare at their intertwined hands.
"Your hands are small" Micheal comments.
"Thanks I think"
"Um . . ." Hot damn Jeremy's hands are soft he can't help but think. "Should we practise kissing?"
Jeremy hesitates. "I mean- We really should"
Micheal draws back his hands, stopping for a second. Is he really going to make out with Jeremy? His enemy? A man he's despised since the beginning? Well it seems so because he's cupping Jeremy's face and leaning in.
He kisses him.
Jeremy holds Micheal's biceps. His brain short circuits. For the life of him he cannot form one single thought. All he can focus on is Micheal's lips against his and his hands on his face.
Micheal, however, is having many many many thoughts. They range from WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING to I NEVER WANT TO STOP. Fireworks go off in his mind. Electricity shoots through his head and into his fingertips. He can't understand what's happening; or he can, but he doesn't want to admit it.
Then the kiss is over.
Jeremy lets go of Micheal's arms, looking down again and clearing his throat. Micheal takes a second before properly leaning back, sighing as he leans against the bed frame.
Before either one of them get the chance to break the thick silence, there's a knock at the door.
Micheal's face lights up.
"FOOD SERVICEEEE!" He shrieks, leaping off the bed.
Jeremy watches him run to the door and happily greet the food-service-guy. The door closes and Micheal returns with two covered plates.
"I got us both chicken nuggets because everyone likes chicken nuggets"
Jeremy stares at the plates.
"I'm gonna go shower"
Micheal watches in confusion as Jeremy vanished into the bathroom. Why would he leave? There's chicken nuggets.
⚣
"Ah! So we're bow tie gays"
"Do not speak ever again"
Jeremy combs his fingers through his hair again in a feeble attempt to make it look decent. Micheal snorts behind him as he adjusts his red bow tie.
"We look soooo gayyy~" He laughs.
"That's the whole point" Jeremy turns around, pulling a face. "Wait a minute- why are you so happy? You're never happy"
"I may have taken a little trip to the mini bar to ease my mood" Micheal admits.
"You absolute fuck, there's free booze at the wedding" Jeremy smoothes his jacket one more time, tightening his own blue bow tie.
"Woaaahhh is there?"
"There better be. It's the only way I'm surviving" Jeremy claps his hands together. "You ready to go?"
"Yes- Wait no. Come here let's take a picture" Micheal pulls his phone from his suit pockets.
Jeremy rolls his eyes but steps closer to Micheal none the less. Micheal throws an arm around him and pulls their heads together.
"Smile-like-we've-been-dating-each-other-for-a-year-and-we-dont-hate-each-other~"
Micheal smiles a cheesy grin while Jeremy just deadpans.
"Oh very sexy" Micheal remarks.
This makes Jermey smile alittle. Micheal snaps a picture of it.
"Let's make your cousin fucking jealous of our love" Micheal says, putting his phone away.
"Evan's getting married. I don't think he'll be jealous of our fake relationship"
"We'll make him jealous" Micheal links their arms together.
They take the elevator down to the lobby, never breaking their arms. The doors open to a bustling lobby full off overdressed wedding guests.
Jeremy tenses, swallowing his anxiety as his face contorts.
"Hey" Micheal nudges him a little. "It'll be okay. It's just some snooty old people in a pretentious setting, not the Hunger Games"
"Hopefully not" Jeremy chuckles breathlessly, still wishing to escape back upstairs.
"Come on darling" Micheal says. "Let's go meet the family"
The elevator doors close behind them.
⚣
"LADIESS AND GENTLEMEN!-"
"Micheal shhhhhh it's like 3am people are asleeeeeep" Jeremy slurs, hitting his roommate on the arm.
"But I need to announce your arrival" the equally drunk Micheal complains as they stagger back to their hotel room.
"No you don't no one cares that I'm here" Jeremy stumbles over his own feet, grabbing onto Micheal for support.
"I care~" Micheal insists. Jeremy pulls him towards their room door, pulling the key out of his own pocket.
"Tonight was actually really fun" Jeremy says, unlocking the door but not stepping inside.
"He he yeah" Micheal laughs. "The free bar especially was really really fun"
"No, Micheal" Jeremy presses Micheal against the door frame and kisses him. When he pulls back, Micheal looks more confused than the author in maths class.
"I mean tonight was really really fun"
Micheal hesitates. He looks into Jeremy's wastes yet sincere eyes. Fuck it (literally). He grabs Jeremy's face, pulling him into a passionate kiss. The pair move into the room, kicking the door shut behind them.
Jeremy pulls off Micheal's already undone tie as Micheal's hands trail down to his waist. They pull each other's jackets and shirts off, discarding them onto the floor.
The back of Jeremy's knees hit the bed. He falls onto his back with Micheal immediately crawling over him. Their lips reconnect as Micheal fiddles with Jeremy's belt.
He pulls back to catch his breath, looking down at the heated twink beneath him.
"Do you think we're gonna regret this tomorrow?"
"Hopefully not" Jeremy wraps his arms around Micheal's neck, pulling him back down.
•••
Split this chapter into two very very long chapters because there's a LOT left to happen
Now I leave myself with the question: do I end my smut-hiatus and give you guys some porn to read or go straight to the morning after?
Anyways, stay safe and my cat says hi
-Avery