Jongin wasn't really sure who to turn to in order to talk out his worries about becoming a father. He still didn't feel like he could, or should, talk to Taemin about it - deep inside he really knew he should but he was worried that all he would end up doing would be freak Taemin out about everything.
And most of the EXO members were off the table cause they hadn't gone through what he was going through.
However, Jongdae had gone through something at least somewhat similar to what Jongin was going through. The becoming a father part at the very least, so even if Jongdae couldn't relate to the fact that Jongin was doing it with the help of a surrogate for him and his boyfriend - there was at least the whole father thing they had in common.
Jongdae had replied back to Jongin's text of can we meet up and talk? I really could use some advice quicker than Jongin had expected.
"I'm just glad I can finally give advice to someone." Jongdae said, smiling over at Jongin. "So what's up, Nini? Feels like it's been forever since we've gotten to talk like this."
"I might be in the midst of freaking out about everything that has to do with Taemin and I having kids."
Jongdae nodded, "I get that. I mean I can't relate entirely to the situation, but at the same time I can relate a lot to it. I was a nervous wreck leading up to having a kid too, but I guess what got me through it was the fact of knowing that at the end of everything I was going to be doing something I always wanted to eventually do - be a father."
"That's why I wanted to get together with you and talk cause you're the only member to have gone through having a baby so far. Part of me wishes we were at the point to be open about it, like you were. But I don't think we are, cause all the questions that would be asked."
"It was definitely hard to be open about the whole situation, but I didn't want EXO-L's to feel left out of everything. But I understand why you all have chose not be open about it so far. I don't think I would be ready to if I was in your position either, because like you said there would be so many questions. There was enough backlash when I announced my plans, I can only imagine how much backlash you fear you'll get when you eventually come to the place of being ready to be open."
"We both have some extra circumstances when it comes to our situations." Jongin said, "With you, there was the whole premarital angle that people wanted to bring up. For me I know they'll not only bring up the fact that the twins will be born out of wedlock - it's still going to be iffy how people will react to it being us to be having kids together."
"Yeah, it will be. And that's going to be something that you all have to deal with, I knew I'd be dealing with the whole out of wedlock scenario when we found out and it's weird cause you have to accept it when facing letting the public know about your future family. There was almost like a sense of relief when I told the world, there was a lot of worry that came along with the world knowing but at the same time I wasn't holding in a secret anymore.
"With news like what we share in common, Jongin, there's bound to be backlash. Because we aren't following the way things have been viewed as how they should be done. Our kids aren't how traditionally people think kids should come around - but we did it and are doing it. It happens, we're just bringing it to light that it happens."
"You stepped up to the plate in a way most idols wouldn't have, Jongdae. I'm just disappointing my ancestors." Jongin said, laughing.
Jongdae let out a laugh, nodding. "I think we both disappointed our ancestors a little. But I appreciate the compliment that I stepped up. I think you're going to be stepping up as well, Jongin. Just in a bit of a different way. You and your boyfriend wanted kids - while you didn't necessarily give them to him, because biologically you all couldn't produce your own - but you're on this journey with him. You, Taemin, Jung Ah, and Sehun are all on this journey together. And it's great to watch you all figuring this all out together."
"It's definitely been a journey so far." Jongin said, nodding.
"You know whenever you and Taemin decide to come out and be open with the world about having the twins - we'll all be there to support you guys."
"I appreciate it."
"It's a whole different experience holding your own child, and you just want to do anything to make their life better in any way possible. It's wild."
"I guess we'll see if you're right."
"It's also wild to think that our kids are going to be growing up together, Jongin. Cause I hope you know there will be plenty of play dates at some point in the future - I wasn't kidding back when I originally said that."
"Counting on it, Jongdae." Jongin replied, "I mean we're the only two that have taken the leap into becoming parents so far, so it's bound to happen."
■
Jongin was at Jung Ah's apartment, he had came over to check in on his sister and bring her some groceries. She was about six months along in the pregnancy and so Taemin and Jongin had taken to doing some of the more boring everyday tasks for her whenever Sehun wasn't able to.
Which as Jongin had realized mostly meant they were doing the tasks that Sehun didn't want to. Such as grocery shopping.
"Jongin! Get in here!" Jung Ah hollered from the living room causing Jongin to drop the groceries he was putting up onto the counter and run into the living room.
"What's wrong?"
"Come here. You've got to feel this. The babies are kicking."
Jongin shook his head, "I'm actually good with not."
"Jongin. Get over here and feel this." Jung Ah said, shaking her head. "These babies are as much yours as they are Taemin's, so get over here."
Jongin reluctantly walked over to the couch, kneeling down in front of the couch. Jung Ah grabbed his hand and placed it over the spot where the kicks were coming from.
Jongin let a small smile slide onto his face at the feeling. "That's awesome." He said, glancing up at Jung Ah.
"Taemin got to feel it the other day, so I'm glad at least one of these little ones decided to act up while you were here." Jung Ah said, smiling down at Jongin.
"That's great."
"Are you doing okay, Nini?" She asked, concern clear on her face.
Jongin nodded, "Yeah I'm doing fine."
"Yeah cause all soon to be fathers who are doing fine don't want to feel their children kicking." Jung Ah said, rolling her eyes slightly.
Jongin let out a sigh, "I don't know what's wrong with me, to be honest. I should be excited, but I'm more worried than anything. I can't get the stupid notion that I'm nothing more than the babies uncle out of my head. The sentence my sister's having my boyfriend's babies keeps replaying through my head - mainly thanks to your boyfriend."
"Could have a reality show with that title."
"Exactly. It's just - it's insane to me at the moment." He got up and sat down on the couch beside his sister.
"Have you talked to Taemin about how you're feeling?"
Jongin shook his head, "No because if I did then Taemin would start overthinking and worrying about it. And the last thing I want is to worry Taemin over how I'm feeling about this cause he's really freaking excited right now."
Jung Ah rubbed a circle on Jongin's back, "I get it. I mean any person that's getting ready to have a baby is nervous then you add on the fact that it's twins - hell all I'm doing is carrying the babies and then delivering them and I'm nervous too. And I'm sure you have more things to be nervous about than the normal soon-to-be father."
"I'm just worried that we're not going to be able to balance the babies, our careers, and our relationship. I'm worried that we won't be able to figure out how to handle all that and I get that it's a little too late to be thinking about that - and honestly it's just me overthinking this."
"Don't let the nerves get the best of you, Jongin." Jung Ah said, "You and Taem are the best people for each other that I could imagine. You all aren't going to suddenly lose the ability to balance everything together just because of adding in becoming parents together."
"I'm also scared that I won't be a good father - I have no clue what I'm doing, not really at least. I'm a decent enough uncle to Raeon and Rahee, but what if that won't translate over to being an actual father. Especially because they're not... mine. And I feel like an ass for even thinking it."
Jung Ah sighed, "Jongin... you really should be talking to Taemin about all this. He's your boyfriend - might as well be more than that."
"If I talked to him about all this, it would do nothing but freak him out about everything. I feel like we're still working on figuring out our limits and figuring out how we work together - there's days when it seems like we are still stuck on the same issues that caused our breakup all that time ago."
"You all will figure it out together. But you do need to talk to him about all of your worries, it's not doing either of you any favors for you to keep it all in and not talk to him."