Even when I close my eyes
You're still here
-Anatani deawnakerepa,
Aimer
I had finally gathered the courage to visit my mom so here I was sitting on a chair beside her bed as she slept peacefully with some of her grey hair that she had on the front of her head falling on her innocent face ever so gently.
I watched her chest heave up and down, a heart monitor beeping beside her and the bag filled with liquid attached to her standing by. The air purifier continuously let out puffs of white cloud, a few sunflowers on a table beside her.
I wondered if she was in pain, I wondered if she would smile at me and tell me everything was be alright when she'd wake up, just like she'd been doing all her life. Telling lies, saying she was fine when she was not.
"Did your mom pick that name for you?" A voice said from the side, Kihyun who was sitting beside me. "That name of yours, Daisy."
"Yeah, you don't like it?"
Kihyun scratched the back of his ear as his other hand held his striped overcoat to his chest. "Well, it's an uncommon name for someone born in Korea."
"I think I've said it in the English club before, that my mom had quite an interest in that language. And she's been working with a herbal medicine specialist for a long time."
Kihyun had some of his gelled hair falling on top of his forehead neatly, unlike every other time when I saw him at night when his hair would be meticulously back brushed revealing his undercut on both sides. One of his veiny hands was grabbing the neck of his black turtleneck sweater.
Why was I observing him in detail? Quickly I had to turn away.
"That's why my mom knows a lot about flowers and plants. The flower Daisy represents innocence and purity."
Kihyun hummed lightly in response. "That's pretty."
"The flower?" I again glimpsed at him sitting there in a straight posture, his one leg on top of other.
"Your name," he replied.
With that, the air around me grew warm, even though it felt so cool before. The air condition must not be working properly.
To cut through the thick awkward atmosphere, I spoke again. "You aren't smoking today?"
But I was met with a chuckle as if I was saying the stupidest thing on earth. "Do you expect me to smoke inside a hospital?" Well, indeed my question was stupid.
After a short pause he talked again, "I'm not a chain smoker if that's what you think I am. I only smoke three to five cigarettes a day to relieve stress. And one glass of red wine in the evening because I like that."
There was nothing for me to reply with, at least I didn't know what to say so I just bobbed my head up and down while staring at the beeping monitor next to my mom's bed.
"I can pretty much live without cigarettes. But the daily workload really gets to me. And if you think the other guys don't smoke, well, you're wrong. They do but not like me, they smoke only occasionally."
My hands that were resting on my knees slowly curled around the caps, digging onto my skin. "I hate the stench of cigarettes. And I don't really get why people ruin their lives with their own hands like that."
"And it reminds you of your dad, doesn't it? You said he smoked, that's what you've heard of him."
The thoughts inside of me went on a rampage with Kihyun's words. Was he true? Perhaps, he was.
But it astonished me that he had actually listened to all my words with scrupulous attention, without skipping any details.
A sudden sound made both Kihyun and I turn towards the door to see it sliding off revealing a pink head, and a brown head next to him grinning. "Can we come inside?" Shownu said with a hushed tone.
With my nod of approval they cautiously stepped inside, both their hands filled with bags and packages.
"We thought we would bring some food and healthy drinks, some fruits for your mom too," Shownu said while Wonho carefully took the materials outside and placed them on the bedside table on by one.
"It's already morning, I think we should open the blinds," Wonho looked around to find a big window that was hidden underneath the curtains. Soon he walked toward it.
Sunlight poured inside as soon as he pushed away the curtain, the shimmering light of the morning making me furrow. At that moment I realized how tired I was after skipping sleep for the whole night, and how hungry I was too.
"Here, have a sandwich," Shownu held one before me and I noticed Kihyun was already helping himself with another. "We also brought coffee."
"Thank you," I took it in, Wonho came and picked one from the small carton. And then I turned to the pink head.
"Didn't you have classes today?" The one standing beside Wonho in a pastel blue shirt met my gaze too. "You too?" I asked Shownu.
Wonho held the back of his neck with his hand, his head tilting to a side. "The thing is, I only remembered later that my classes wouldn't start before noon today. And Shownu too talked to his professor on the phone and made arrangements in the afternoon."
"Oh, I have to buy medicines for Daisy's mother. The doctor gave me the prescription," Shownu turned to Wonho with one of his eyebrows raised. "But I think, I gave it to you?"
"Ah, come on. I don't think so," Wonho complained in a nasal tone with a frown on his face.
A smile slowly appeared on my face, it had to after seeing them. No matter how tired I felt they carried it away, they all did, together. And I was grateful to them. Grateful to finally have someone, some people to lean on during my hard times.
"Thank you for-"
"She is is waking up-" Kihyun's voice made me stop on my tracks only to focus on my mom and see her eyes crinkling in her sleep, her lips turning upside down.
No sooner had she opened her eyes my head was buried on her chest, my arms around her body and my knees on the floor.
"Ah, it's the hospital," She said in a low and weak voice and I looked at her, tears welling up in my eyes again. "Did I faint?" She asked, her eyes filled with questions.
"Yeah," I nodded with a forced smile, my hands now roaming around my mom's shoulders, then meeting her face.
"Who are they?" but her eyes were somewhere behind me so I turned my head after quickly wiping off my eyes.
"Ah, they are-"
"Hello, we are friends from her university. And also her co workers," Shownu said firstly, but all three of them had their heads low in a ninety degree bow.
Friends? I was a bit awestruck not only because of their choice of words and but also for their polite attitude.
"Wow, Daisy," My mom seemed like she had her tongue twisted as well. "I did not know you had so many friends, so many handsome friends on top of that."
My face heated up in embarrassment and I was glad I had my back facing the boys. "T-they are my boss. I work under them."
"You have them as your boss? But they are so young!" She could not stare away from the boys standing behind me and as she was raking them up and down, I quickly stood before her vision.
"There are four more of them that aren't here now." As soon as I said that her eyes turned as wide as a pair of soccer balls.
"There are more of these handsome people? And you haven't told me about this? What's the line of your work under them?"
In a rush I held her shoulders tightly again and sat on the edge of her bed. "I'll tell you about that soon but aren't you feeling unwell? Shouldn't you be laying down? How can you speak so clearly?" From what I knew strokes could cause dysfunction in motors, a mild stroke could cause partial facial paralysis too.
But here she was laughing before me. "Why? I'm perfectly fine!" but then she placed a hand on her left cheek. "Though my tongue and the side of my lips feel a bit numb."
"You should get some rest," It was when Kihyun spoke. "We will leave now."
"You should rest too Daisy,," Shownu told me. "And you don't have to worry about coming to work for now since you will need to look after your mom."
After giving another set of bows they left, Wonho being the last one to go. Frantically he waved his hand and gave both my mom and me a flush of his teeth with his bright smile before he vanished through the door too.
"This hospital room must cost a lot. Why did you book this? I'd be okay at home, Daisy," My mom looked around, taking in every detail of the VIP room with her wide eyes as her both hands held onto mine.
"Please lay down. I'll go and buy the medicine. And..." I trailed off before I spoke again squeezing her hands. "I did not book this room mom. They did. Those boys, all of them. And they paid for everything so you don't have to worry."
Her doe eyes met mine, again they were wide. I kind of always wished I looked like my mom, even when sick she was the prettiest.
"Really? They are such generous people! What do they do exactly? It's been years since I've seen such godlike faces. Those two guys looked absolutely buffed up, but not intimidating at all. Their faces were so innocent! But the shorter of them did look a bit intimidating, but in a good way. He was just too handsome that's all. I can tell he's a kind person too."
With my mom blabbering there, her face lighting up like the sun rays seeping through the window. She was right.
I looked at the closed door of the room. Kihyun did feel out of his usual character last night. He was kind, and gentle.
But when they left he was the first one to go. And he did not spare one glance behind. I wondered why I even noticed that.
---
A/n: SURPRISE UPDATE! I was just too excited after binge listening to the whole album!
What's your favourite song of the fantasia x album?? Mine are chaotic, beautiful night and fantasia (obviously)
The whole mv was so blissful. The choreo, outfits, aesthetics, visual everything. But Minhyuk wrecked me this time. I can see why my brother has a crush on him.