Isabella's POV
I woke up to a ceiling, lucky for me one that wasn't spinning like a carousel. As I slowly tried to open my eyes, I found myself wondering who's ceiling it was because mine had a few more crack's than this one. I felt a hand softly going through my hair and some long black locks dangling down from this person's head now. Mia? I must be dreaming...
Trying to get up I was softly held down by the person whose lap was supporting my head and who's hand was comforting my face. "Hey it's okay, you're safe." I heard Mia's voice gently seep into my consciousness. I'm not dreaming, this is real. Am I, am I safe though?
"Mia, what? What's going on?" I tried to say but my throat was dry and tight. I was still exhausted even though I had no idea what time it was or how long I had slept for that matter. "Where's Lukas?" I said, my core suddenly worried. I hope he didn't do anything stupid! And why is Mia so nice! I felt the worry rush to my face again and I tried to rub my eyes, hoping this in fact was a dream.
"Sschh.." She whispered, her hand pushing my hair away from my face. "You had a panic attack and slept it off for some hours." She whispered trying to keep her voice low and I must admit the lack of loud and abrasive noises around me was really soothing.
"And Lukas?" I tried to say trough a rough and scratchy throat. "What time is it?" Not that I care I can fall back asleep any time now.
"He's just taking a shower." She said and I saw her face hoovering over me now, her eyes bloodshot and tired, make-up smeared over her cheeks. I don't care if he smells or not, I want him close, now more than ever. He was probably the only one who could give me a sense of being safe again. "It's almost time for bed." Mia's soft voice said as she started to yawn at her own words.
I looked around for the first time, shifting my head in Mia's lap. I knew for sure we were at their apartment when the light wooden coffee table came into my sight. "I need to sit up." I cleared my throat while leaving the safe haven of Mia's lap.
"Hi." Mia giggled when I sat up next to her on the couch and I pulled my knees to my chest.
"Hi." I said back, feeling awkward as I knew how much I hurt her. I hurt everyone around me and now life is going to get back at me for that. Karma is a bitch... The whole atmosphere turned awkward when neither of us knew what to say, the both of us just faintly smiling at each other.
Suddenly Mia shook her head as she deeply sighed. As unexpected as that she threw her arms around me from the side, pulling me into a tight hug. I wanted to pinch myself, to knock myself in the head but I was definitely not dreaming. "I'm sorry!" She sighed, as I could hear the regret in her voice. "I'm sorry for treating you like shit when you were only trying to help. I was so blinded by my own hurting I didn't give a damn about how miserable I was making everybody else. I'm sorry for being a shitty best friend." She cried now; her sobs softly muffled as she buried her head into our embrace.
I didn't know what to do, or say, or react. I was debating who was at fault here because in my head I was the one who hurt her. I should be asking her for forgiveness! "No, I'm sorry for not telling y-"
"Don't even think about apologizing!" She said into my hair as she held me even tighter. "I know how convincing my brother can be. I shouldn't blame any of you. I wouldn't have believed it anyway. I see that now." And at her words I eased into her, letting my head fall onto her shoulder and let the tears slide down my cheeks. I have my best friend back.
"I wouldn't make the same decision though..." I said while I enjoyed hugging my best friend, something I have been needing for a long time.
At my words she let out a chuckle. "Me neither! I would have never flirted with that asshole if I had known what a prick he would turn out to be." She gently let go of me, her eyes meeting mine. "Arggh Bella, I'm so sorry for everything." She grunted into her hands, letting go of frustration she had been holding for a long time.
"I'm sorry too." I nodded at her, wiping away my tears once more. I didn't even know where that non-stop stream of hurt was coming from lately. Oh yeah, Jess, Drew... Now my parents too. What have I done to deserve this! I couldn't hide the worry on my face and definitely not for Mia who knew me trough and trough, apart from my past. "No more secrets." I huffed and sighed into the air in front of me. I needed to get this off my chest and she needed to know. "Mia, my parents. They..." I looked down at my hands, unable to find my words. Why is this so hard! "They..." I tried again but my stupid brain couldn't get past they.
Mia must have seen my struggle to find the right vocabulary to explain what they did to me because she grabbed my hand for comfort. "I know." I figured she'd know by now, Lukas wasn't going to keep the secret, not after what happened today.
"Lukas told you, didn't he?" I sighed, which was a sigh of relief to be honest. Telling the story again would have made me feel dead inside right now.
Mia scrunched her face. "Please don't be mad at him, he only wanted me to understand what was going on. I was...I am really worried. So is Luke. I have never seen him like this." She shook her head and I instantly felt guilty for making him feel that way. "I think he's just as scared as you are, scared he's going to lose you."
I sighed before pulling my knees back up to my chest and I wrapped my arms around them as I rested my chin on top. "I don't want him to worry." I said, my voice not hiding my sadness.
"Bella, he's going to worry whether it's your parents coming for you or you simply scraping your knee against the concrete because of your clumsy feet. And so will I!" She smiled at me and she was right, he probably would. "You're family." She whispered before leaning her head against my shoulder. "And I'm sorry for not treating you like it these past weeks." She whispered but as faint and careful as it sounded as vivid it filled my heart, gluing back together some of it that had been shattered.
"I forgive you. Sisters fight right?" I said, a faint smile draped across my lips, the hate I felt for my parents right now overshadowing the joy I should feel about reconciling with Mia.
"The hell they do." She smiled, throwing her arms around me.
"So...You and Ben huh?" I giggled, the question burning on my lips ever since I saw them together at the café, and posing it was also a great distraction form the disaster my life turned into hours ago.
Instantly Mia giggled into my shoulder. "We're just friends." But that giggle gave her true thoughts away.
"As if!" I said, taking a pillow next to me and swinging it into her face. "Spill it!" I chuckled and it felt nice thinking about something else then my problems. Somebody else's happiness always seemed to cheer me up.
"Alright, alright!" She giggled, holding her hands up to make me call cease-fire. "We're kinda dating. I don't know. We'll see where it goes." In felt the smile on her face and the tone in her voice as it brought me a little bit of joy too. She's so head over heels.
"Come here..." I said holding my arms open for her, both of us looking like an absolute mess. "I'm happy for you!" I said hugging her tightly. "You deserve to be with a great guy like Ben."
"You do to, unfortunately you have a thing for my asshole brother." Mia joked and it made me let out a laugh.
"Mia, I heard that..." Lukas growled while pulling the bathroom door shut behind him, Mia and I both chuckling at his timing. He walked over to us, wearing only light grey shorts and his black hair still a wet floppy mess.
"I...I'm gonna go wipe this mess of my face and get ready for bed now." She said giving me a smile as she quickly got up from the couch, as if she wanted to leave the two of us alone.
As I heard Mia's footsteps disappear, I heard and saw Lukas approach, my eyes never leaving him. When he reached the couch, he crouched down in front of me, his hands softly lacing around my ankles as I still had my legs pulled up to my chest. "How are you feeling?" He whispered, his voice sounding hoarse and his eyes were red. Has he been crying? Oh Lukas.
"I'm okay." I muttered into my knees while his thumbs caressed the skin around my ankles.
"Are you?" He asked before clenching his jaw, the muscles moving under his skin. His eyes looked extra light because of the redness surrounding them and I couldn't look away, mesmerized by the loving look he was holding for me, which was exactly what I needed.
"No." I let out in a sigh, the corners of my eyes instantly watering at my confession. I was good at hiding my feelings, but he was better at revealing them. He reached out, his thumb wiping away a tear the was about to roll down my face.
"Come here." He whispered while he gently pulled my feet from the couch to put them around his waist, his arms sliding around me. I let my forehead fall into his shoulder while small water droplets fell from his wet hair down the side of my face. "Baby, you really scared me." He sighed, his hand trailing up to the back of my neck underneath my hair, the softness of his touch making me feel safe.
"I'm sorry." I said while snaking my arms around his neck to pull him closer, this hug meaning everything to my right now.
"Don't be." He whispered into my hair before kissing the top of my head.
"I'm scared Lukas." I sobbed into his shoulder, the tears rapidly falling down my cheek again. When were my tears finally going to dry out, I don't want to cry, I can't help it. "The school gave them my address; they know where I live." My heart started to pound again at the thought of them knocking at my door one day.
"Hey, hey." Lukas rushed while pulling back, both his hands cupping my face now. "They don't, okay. You're not going back to your place until we have this sorted out, until I know for sure it's safe." He said while wiping away my tears again. "Until then, you're staying here. No arguing." He said, kissing the tip of my nose.
I furrowed my brows with relief and confusion at the same time. "But... But what about my stuff." I shook my head.
I small smirk appeared on his face, his eyes instantly lighting up. "It's already in my room, your clothes, your books, everything you need." He whispered, before his arm wrapped around my waist to pull me closer to the edge of the couch, closer to him.
"So, I'm moving in?" I frowned my brows at him, my insides twirling around with joy.
Lukas smiled at me face wide before bringing his lips to mine. "I was going to ask you anyways after things calmed down between you and Mia." He grinned as I felt his heart pound in his chest. What? He really was going to ask me to move in together... He scrunched his nose before brushing it over mine. "I know we haven't been together for that long, but I also know I'll never love anybody else, so I better get used to waking up next to your face every morning." He whispered before his soft lips found mine.
"Be careful what you wish for..." I whispered against his lips. "I have a morning temper." I giggled before hiding my face in the crook of his neck.
"I know, I'll make sure to feed you blueberry muffins once in a while to protect myself from it." He chuckled while his arms around me held me tight. "So, that's a yes? I mean, I not really giving you a choice considering the situation, but if I would have asked, would you have said yes?" He carefully said into the side of my face.
I gently pulled back, putting my hands on either side of his face so I could see the love radiating from his beautiful eyes. "Yes." I whispered, the happiness washing over my entire being as I said it. I watched him as his smile was now spread across his entire face. "Yes Lukas." I said, letting out a laugh and a happy sob at the same time before bringing his face to mine and pressing my lips into his, holding him tight as if I was never letting go.
"Omg, did you just propose to her!" Mia squealed as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, her hands quickly covering her mouth. Lukas and I both turned so see her standing across the room, both of us bursting out into laughter. Omg Mia. Lukas shook his head, while his hands held me steady around my waist and he remained crouched down in front of me. Alright, this does look like a proposal. "Did you?" Mia urged, her eyeballs nearly falling from their sockets.
"No Mia, I didn't...not yet..." Yet? His words hitting me like a truck as I instantly diverted my gaze from Mia to Lukas. Yet? What? Really? I felt my heart skip a few beats as his words made sense. "We're still too young don't you think, don't get too excited Mia."
"Yeah too young... We'll see about that..." She laughed pulling up her eyebrows.
"I asked her to move in." Lukas said while Mia walked towards her room with a smirk on her face but only then I realized I didn't know how she felt about me intruding.
"Finally! But Lukas, you're going to have to share her with me now that I have my best friend back." She smirked at me, her joy infectious.
"Not going to happen." Lukas smirked while wrapping his arms around me to pull me off the couch, my legs immediately wrapping around his waist again. I let out a laugh at his surprise attack. "She's all mine!" Lukas laughed while shielding me from Mia as if I was a toy he didn't want to share.
"Asshole!" Mia laughed before disappearing into her room. I felt Lukas snuggle his face into the crook of my neck as we heard the door slam shut.
"Lukas, can I take a shower now?" I whispered into his shoulder and he was already on his way to the bathroom while carrying me in his arms. He opened the door and sat me down on the counter next to the sink. "Thank you for everything." I said while I watched him tilt his head to the side.
He grabbed both sides of my face before I felt his lips press into mine. "I love you!" He said when he pulled back, a smirk draped across his lips.
"I love you more." I smiled while unwrapping my legs from his waist, my hand pushing away the messy wet locks from his forehead.
"I'll let you take a shower." He said brushing his nose against mine. "I'll search through your clothes, find you something to wear." He said, stepping away from me towards the door.
"Can I just wear one of your T-shirts?" I rushed before he was about to leave the bathroom, pouting at him, knowing he wouldn't be able to say no.
"You know I can't say no to that face." He shook his head with a smirk on his face before leaving me alone in the bathroom.
I wish he didn't because I felt the warmth and comfort leave with him through the door, leaving me in the bathroom by myself, my smile rapidly disappearing as I could only think of how I would feel if my parents would rip me away from my safe haven. I'm nothing without him and if they find me they'll make sure to pull us apart, they hate to see me happy. I left my clothes on the floor into a mess at my feet before stepping into the shower. Whenever I would feel hurt, I would turn the water on a little too hot so I could feel it burn on my skin, so I would feel the pain all over. I used to do it every time they beat me, every time they pushed me down, punishing myself for not being able to make them stop. At home it became a ritual and since I ran away and I moved here I hadonly done it twice. When Drew assaulted me and today. I started to cry again to moment I felt the hot water burn my shoulders all the way down my back and I could barely stand it. I needed to let it all out, the steam filling the bathroom along with my sobs. The way the sound of my cries bounced of the walls and returned to me made me realize that this is what gives them power, the sound of my desperate sobs, the way I almost gave up, the way I felt like I was dying when I had my panic attack and I was fine with it.
"Why the fuck am I doing this!" I cried out loud as I wrapped my arms around me and stepped out from underneath the excruciating stream of hot water... I turned the water to lukewarm before stepping back underneath it, letting the water flow over my face, washing away the tears. It felt liberating giving myself the power to adjust the temperature of the water for the first time, to take away their power over me, to take away the feeling I had to make myself suffer even more. They don't deserve to make me feel that way! They won't get the chance to make me feel that way! And it was at this point I was crying, not because I was hurt, but because I decided to be happy. They won't hurt me anymore.
It was only when I turned off the water, I saw Lukas trough the steamed-up glass. He was leaning against the sink with a towel in his hands, waiting for me to step out of the shower. He looked sad as my gaze caught his. "I... I heard you crying." He whispered as I stepped out of the shower, his voice cracking the moment he spoke.
"It's okay." I whispered as I stood in front of him now. He faintly smiled at me, gently rubbing the towel over my shoulders down to my breasts and sides before going all the way around me to wrap it around my body.
He didn't hesitate to pull me against his chest, his arms wrapping around my head as they rested on top of my shoulders. "It's not okay. I don't know what to do here, you're not happy and it's killing me." He said into my wet hair, his voice cracking again as if he was on the brink of tears, he was. If only he knew I was crying to get rid of a nasty feeling, the feeling like I was okay with dying, a feeling I didn't want to feel ever again. I need to tell him and I need him to understand me.
"Lukas I can tell you anything right?" I sighed into his chest as he refused to let go of me, not even when my hair was dripping all over him and the floor.
"You need to tell me everything Baby." He whispered, the comfort he was trying to put in his voice, even though it meant pushing away his own worry, enough to make me feel safe enough to tell him.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, not knowing how he was going to take it. It was hard to say, and it took all my effort to push the words past my lips. "When I was having my panic attack I couldn't breath and I felt like I was going to die...For a moment I was okay with that." I let out a deep breath, feeling free the moment I said it, a contrast to Lukas arms instantly tightening around me.
His breath started to come out uneven and fast. "Don't say that. Baby...don't say stuff like that." He panicked as he shook his head on top of mine, holding his breath, because the moment he would let it out it would turn into a sob. "Bells..." He let it out eventually, his voice cracking as his chest started to shake and he broke down into my arms. "So, I'm not enough? To not make you feel that way?" He cried and it made my lip tremble at the sound of it, my arms wrapping around him even more for comfort. "Don't I love you enough?" I felt him shake as he cried into my hair, his words cutting through me like a knife. What did I expect, that's not what anyone wants to hear, but I had to tell someone to shake that feeling, I don't want to feel like that either.
Suddenly he pulled away from me, rubbing his face with both his hands, his hands shaking before putting them on either side of the sink, his back turned towards me. "Hey look at me!" I cried when he left me so suddenly, his blank eyes staring at himself in the mirror, not looking at me, not even when I asked him to. "You're more than enough. At that moment I just didn't see another way out." I pulled my eyebrows up, his eyes still pinned on his own reflection in the mirror, tears falling from his cheeks into the sink. "Lukas, do you have any idea how hard it is to tell this?" I cried, my lips still trembling as I watched his reflection.
"It's hard hearing it too." He said looking at me through the mirror, his hands tightening around the edges of the sink.
"I know." I whispered, feeling guilty for telling him and making him cry, the look of his hurt face in the mirror killing me. I felt selfish for wanting to get it off my chest at the expense of hurting him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you." I shook my head while hiding it in the palm of my hands. As soon as I did I heard him sigh and I felt his hands gently lace around my wrist to pull them away from my face, but I immediately buried it back into his chest. "I'm sorry."
His hands left my wrist to wrap them around my legd, lifting me up and wrapping them around his waist. "I'm sorry for reacting the way I did." He still cried, his hand going to the back of my neck, holding me close to his body as he carried me to his bedroom. The both of us remained silent until he laid me down on his bed, not waiting a second to spoon around me and pulling me into his arms, snuggling his face into the back of my neck. "Please don't do something that'll take you away from me. I won't ever be the same if I lose you like that." He said, his voice still cracking with emotion and hurt, and I knew exactly what he meant by that. I turned around in his arms to meet his bloodshot eyes and a trembling lip.
I put my hand on his cheek, wiping away the tears from his face. "I won't, that's not what I'm saying. What I meant is that at that moment I felt like that was better than the alternative, which is my parents taking me away from you, from here." I sighed, trying to stop crying.
He shook his head under my hand while he held me tight, our legs intertwining. "You're not a minor anymore, they legally can't do that. They can't just force you." He let out, his tears turning into disbelief and worry.
"You haven't met them." I shook my head at him.
His hand left my waist to push a wet lock from my face before cupping my cheek. "I'm not going to let them come near you. You're not going to like this but tomorrow we're going to the police and you're going to get a restraining order. I don't want you to feel like you don't have a way out. I can't stand it." He said, another tear escaping from his eyes, the sight of it tearing my insides to pieces.
"That's just a piece of paper... That's not going to stop them." I sighed on which Lukas shook his head.
"Baby, this isn't up for discussion. I called my parents earlier they think it's best. You don't have to deal with this on your own." He said, pulling me on top of him, his arms around my waist holding me captive.
I lifted my eyebrows as my hands still cupped his face, desperately trying to get rid of the tears that stained his cheeks. "You told your parents? Lukas-"
"Bells, you're family. They're worried about you too. There might be a bunch of people trying to get to you but there's also a whole bunch that love and care about you more than you think. Please focus on the good. After what happened with Logan, I never wanted to see it or believe it until I met you, now let me do the same for you. You deserve to be happy." He said, lifting his head so his mouth met mine and I tasted his salty tears on his lips. I kissed him like I never wanted to stop, and I genuinely didn't although I had to pull back to tell him one more thing.
I tilted my head to the side, satisfied to see a calm and reassured look on his face and I smiled "Thank you for always saying the right thing." I whispered, brushing my nose over his, his lips only inches away.
"I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend." He smiled at me, the look in his eyes loving and I never wanted them to look at me differently.
"You are... you really are." I said, kissing him again, before snuggling my face into the crook of his neck. "Despite what you think, I am happy Lukas." I felt him hum with happiness as I kissed the skin in his neck, his hands caressing my back and comforting me until I fell asleep, the towel still wrapped around my body.
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❤️ Hi loves.... I'm sorryyyyyyy this was too long, hence why it took me so long to update but let me know what you think and what theories are brewing in your head :p
‼️ Any thoughts on what should happen in the next chapter? I still have no clue what to write next, and that hasn't happened to me often.... Do you guys want a happy chapter next or more drama? You're wish is my command :p
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