At sunset, Enoria got out of the city and entered the forest. She arrived near a river where there was a small wooden house, that was where she liked to be when she wasn't behind the walls of Arthdal. She squatted near the water and put her hand in it, feeling the flow on her fingers. She quickly wiped the tear shedding on her cheek and sighed before laying down on the grass, eyes closed, thinking about the day that passed.
She didn't regret what she had done, in her heart and mind, her mother had died a long time ago, the woman she had killed was a stranger. Her husband was a bad man who used to sell youngs girls after letting his men raped them, he deserved what had happened to him. She felt a bit sorry for the boys who had probably done nothing more than being born with the wrong parents but even though they had the same mother, they weren't her family.
She thought that maybe her mother had been right, maybe she was a monster after all. In the past two days, how many lives had she taken? She hadn't even counted them, she had stopped counting a long time ago.
'Is it that easy for you to take a life?' that question Tanya had asked her came back to her mind. It was, it was living with the guilt of taking lives that was difficult and yet, she had learnt to live with it, it's not like she had had the choice, she was a warrior who had taken many lives already.
When was the last time she had killed so many people in such a short time? She felt a lump in her throat as she remembered it was probably three years ago, after that happened. At that time, she had tried so hard to distract herself from the emotional pain she was going through that she had killed mercilessly. It had taken three months for her to come back to her senses but the open-wounded in her heart had never healed from that event and she doubted it would ever heal. That pain, she had locked it in her heart just like he had taught her to do and she didn't intend to unlock it though she was aware a part of her had been locked too.
She quickly got rid of her negative thoughts. They wouldn't change anything, what was done was done.
She sighed loudly while some tears fell down her cheeks. She let them fall without wiping them. She made her thoughts quiet and tried to enjoy the silence the forest was offering her.
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When he finally spotted her she was laying on the grass, the same way she had been doing one of the first times he had seen her many years ago, and he wondered if, if it was to rain all of a sudden, she would laugh like she had done it that time, with spontaneity, insouciance, simple joy that a few days after, when the Daekans had attacked her tribe, they had taken away from her.
She was wearing white clothes that day but now, and for the past years, she had mostly worn black. Maybe it was a symbol of how her personality had darkened with the years passing, how her innocence had been taken away after that afternoon during which she had lost so much.
For a really short moment, he hesitated to join her. Maybe it was better if they were separated, maybe she would have a better life if he wasn't in her life but what about him then? He didn't imagine a life in which he wouldn't be able to approach her, to look at her, to touch her, to talk to her and so his body had moved without even him realizing it. He had promised her to come back to her and now that he was there again, he didn't intend to stay away from her.
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She heard footsteps behind her, she raised but she didn't turn back immediately.
Even after all these years, she was still able to recognize his footsteps.
She finally stood up, turned and watched him approach. "Did Tagon send you?" she asked him.
Yangcha shook his head, that wasn't the reason he was there, and he continued to walk towards her.
"So what are you doing here? You shouldn't have come! What if someone sees us together?"
The masked warrior ignored her words and came closer to her. He knew that he had not been followed, he had made sure of that. And if someone surprised them together at the moment he would kill that person without thinking about it twice.
He fought against the urge to immediately take her into his arms. It had been a while since the last time they had held each other and so, he would respect some distance to be sure not to force her to do something she wouldn't want to.
He was close to her and yet, he didn't allow himself to touch her and he just looked at her.
She lowered her head to avoid his gaze, she didn't think she would be able to contain her emotions if she was to look into his eyes again. He didn't need to say anything for her to understand, she already knew what he was telling her through his eyes, he was concerned, that was why he had taken the risk to come see her even though it was dangerous.
"I am ok, really. You shouldn't have taken the risk to come, look at you being the reckless one now."
With his finger, he tenderly wiped away the tear that was shedding on her cheek. She couldn't lie to him, he knew how she was feeling, she couldn't hide her emotions from him he knew her too well for that. She didn't like killing people, she always felt guilty doing so, even when it was necessary. But he also knew she would be ok, she was strong.
- I missed you, he said with a soft voice. He caressed her cheek lovingly and she put her hand on his.
She closed her eyes to control her tears, then she opened them again. "I missed you too," she replied with a trembling voice.
"Let them go now," he murmured to her.
"Let go what?" she asked.
"Your tears."
"No, I am fine, really, it was not-"
"To others, Enoria, you don't have to put a mask in front of me."
"Quite funny coming from you," she teased.
It made him smile and so, she smiled as well but the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back were already in her eyes.
"I know," Yangcha said, "I am sorry you had to go through such a thing," he added as he gathered her against him and she finally allowed herself to let her emotions submerged her.
They stayed like that for a while. It wasn't the first time she was wetting his shirt with her tears and everytime it had happened, his heart had clenched at the view of the suffering of the woman he was in love with. But he knew she had to let go of her emotions, and if she couldn't do it in front of others, she could in front of him and so, he let her release all the tears she had.
- I missed you so much, he repeated, stroking her hair lovingly.
She was hugging him as if she feared he was going to disappear if she was to release him from the embrace of her arms. The things she had done and go through, the three years she had passed wishing for him to be by her side, the fear for him not coming back to her and the relief of finally being into his arms again, all the tears she had been holding back because of those things, she could only allow him to see them, because only him could see the weak her.
"I see you haven't changed, still a cry baby," he allowed himself to joke after he felt like she was calming down.
"Don't mock me," she complained, before she finally raised her head to look at him, "I missed the sound of your voice."
"I kind of missed it too," he joked. He had not said a word while he was in Iark, but at the moment he had seen her in Arthdal, he had started practicing again so that, when he would have found the opportunity to be alone with her, he would be able to talk to her as if they had left each other just the day before.
His words made her smile, a sincere smile, one of those that were just for him, and he sighed as he realized how much he had missed them. "You didn't have the time to answer my question last time, how have you been?" he asked her.
"I- I have kept myself busy while you were away," she simply replied, she didn't want to talk too much about that, there were things he didn't really need to know.
"I wished I could have been the one keeping you busy," he said, "I wished every day for you to be by my side."
"If it had been possible, I would have gone down that cliff too," she replied with a sad smile, "I am glad you kept your promise and came back here, to me."
"I am sorry it took me way longer than planned but I am glad you were here when I came back, just like you had promised me to."
"Apparently we are people who stick to their words," she joked, making him laugh lightly.
"Yeah, apparently," he said, "we'll have to be careful not to be caught."
"We can't take the ri-"
"I am not gonna stand to only watch you from afar," Yangcha interrupted, "I can't content myself with that."
"It would be reckless to even think about finding a way to see each other in private."
"We'll find a way," he replied, "but you know what is reckless? Approaching Tagon and Taealha like you did. I thought you wanted to live a long life."
"Oh but I do intend to live long enough to see you with white hair and wrinkles, don't you worry about that," she tried to joke but the seriousness with which he was looking at her made her sigh, "don't worry, I know what I am doing."
"That's a dangerous game you are playing, even if Tagon seemed to appreciate you, you can't lower your guard, if he finds flaws in your ga-"
"He'll kill me?" she interrupted, "I highly doubt that. And even if he actually wants to do that for now he can't, and I won't let him do that anyway."
"But-"
"With all the things you told me about him, about Taealha, about Arthdal, do you really think I didn't prepare myself before coming there?" she interrupted him.
"I am not the only reason you are here, right?" he asked, "you are gonna try to change the world again, aren't you?"
She didn't reply and just smiled, he knew her too well. He just sighed and didn't insist by asking other questions, he just told her to be careful and not to put herself too much in danger and she just nodded and reassured him that she knew what she was doing.
They didn't stay on that topic, they didn't want to waste their precious time together by arguing on unnecessary things.It didn't matter what she was for or if he disagreed with the fact she was putting herself in danger, they were together again and that, that was the important thing.
For a moment, they just looked at each other, in one of those silences that speak.
They were holding hands, enjoying the time they could, the physical touches of one another.
They knew if they were seen together like that, if Tagon was to find out about them, he wouldn't let go of the betrayal. Saving the life of an Igutu was punished by death in Arthdal and, even though maybe Tagon would let it pass because of his own blood color, the fact that Yangcha had taught her swordsmanship and confessed to her multiples things about his leader which she was now using against him, that would be unforgivable disloyalty.
The idea she may be killed because of the love they shared was difficult to bear for him and he quickly chased those thoughts away. He wouldn't let anyone harm her, even his own leader.
- You got prettier my little Igutu. He added putting a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Wasn't I already pretty?" she joked, "and who is little? It's you who is too tall."
They both laughed lightly.
She had been his little and precious Igutu for years and she was still the prettiest to him, she was the one who had his heart. She was unable to hold back her smile to his cheesy words. He rubbed her head, softly. She asked him to remove his mask for her to see if he got more handsome after all the time they were apart. He directed her hands to the strings that were maintening his mask. She untied it easily, it wasn't the first time she was doing that. She carefully put the mask away, leaving the warrior's face uncovered. She put her hands on his face, gently, as if her fingers needed to remember.
- With that handsome face of yours have you been seducing a lot of women in Iark? She pouted.
"I am only interested in you and you know that," he replied, squishing her cheeks.
- So why did you become more muscular? To seduce Tagon? Or Mugwang? She teased him.
"It's to protect you and to seduce you more."
"Not bad, you came out of it well," she said in a small laugh he joined.
"I don't want to go back to the Palace, nor to the headquarters," Yangcha said. After what had happened that day, after she had just killed her own mother, he knew she needed him so there was nothing more important than being with her at the moment.
"Then don't go back and stay," she replied. She needed him not only at the moment because her heart was heavy from the things she had done but she had always needed him by her side. She had been afraid his heart may have changed after the three years they were apart but his heart, just like hers, had not changed, she was still the only one he could think about and he was still the only one filling her mind too.
She was the only one he could think about and at that moment, he just wanted to have her as close as he could from him. He wanted to feel her bare skin under the touches on his finger, to let her perfume fill his nose, to let his eyes wander on every part of her, to let his lips capture hers.
"There's something I want to do," Yangcha said without even thinking about his words.
"Then do it," she simply said.
The look in her eyes amused him, he knew her too well not to know she wanted the same thing. "You are not asking me what is it before allowing me to do it?" he teased.
She almost rolled her eyes, "then tell me, what is it?"
He leaned in closer. His face next to hers, he whispered something in her ear that sent shivers all over her body.
- You talk a lot but I see no actions. She replied with a mischievous smile.
It made Yangcha laugh, she had always been kind of impatient, that was a side of her he loved, especially when it concerned their respective desires.
- You are the only one who thinks I talk a lot. He added, pulling her closer to him, hands on her waist.
"Because I am the only one who can hear your voice," she replied, placing her hands around his neck.
"Because you are the only one with whom I am breaking all the rules."
She smiled at him, she was glad to be the only lucky one with whom he allowed himself to be who he truly was. "Aren't you going to do it? Are you afraid I will push you away?" she teased.
"Will you?"
"After I've waited for that for three long years, absolutely not," she replied with a mischievous smile.
He approached his face to hers and kissed her softly. The first touches of his lips were gentle then it become more passionate. His lips felt and tasted even better than she could remember, his touches made her all body shivered. He was as passionate as when they had kissed for the first time. In the wooden house, their clothes joined the ground piece by piece and they quickly submited to their desires and passed the night together.
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Yangcha woke up before sunrise, he had always been an early riser, unlike her who was still sleeping next to him, naked. He was facing her back, still fascinated by her igutu's mark on which he carefully followed the lines with his finger.
"Have you slept well?" he heard her ask with a half-asleep voice.
"I have," he murmured with a soft voice as if he didn't want her to completely wake up, "did I wake you up?" he asked, concerned.
"You didn't, I was already awake," she said before turning over to face him, "I was just enjoying your touch."
They looked at each other in silence while he gently tidied her hair.
She snuggled into his arms and he just sighed, even if they didn't want to, they had to go back, they both knew they didn't have the choice.
"We should have run away a long time ago," he said in another sigh before he dropped a kiss on her head.
"We couldn't and we still can't," she replied without raising her head, "you want to be free, not a fugitive. And as much as I hate it, I know you will never let Tagon down anyway. You are too loyal for that and you still think that you owe him for what he did for you. If we had flown, or if we were to flee now, you would neither be free, neither from Tagon's service nor from your punishment," she explained before she finally raised her head to look him straight in the eyes, "am I wrong?"
He smiled before he shook his head, she knew him well. They had had that conversation before, they had imagined themselves running away from everything and living just the two of them somewhere where no one could reach them but that was an impossible dream. Yangcha knew Tagon's every secret, if he was to disappear he would make him hunted down until he would successfully catch him. Enoria had passed years being hunted like a prey during the Great Hunt, he wouldn't let her live like that again.
"You are right," he finally replied, I hope you know I will always choose you first."
"Says the one who left me alone for almost three years to follow his precious Tagon in Iark," she teased him as she got up to get dressed. He caught her hand.
He caught her hand before she walked away from the bed, "I am sorry for having left you," he told her.
"I know, Yangcha, it was difficult for you the same way it was for me. I was teasing you," she explained, "you are a warrior, when you receive an order, you don't have the choice but to execute it or you die. Executing orders, that's what a warrior does. I never asked you to choose between your loyalty to Tagon and your love for me, and I do hope I will never have to ask you for such a thing even if I also hope you will choose me if something serious were to happen. And also, just for you to know, the night we just spent was definitely worth the three years I spent waiting for you," she added with a mischievous smile before she finally dressed herself.
"And which part did you prefer? The physical part or the talking one?" he teased. They had barely slept during the night. After they had let their bodies express how much they had missed each other, they had talked for the majority of the night as they had many things to catch up on the time they weren't together.
"Both of course, I was craving for your touches but also for our long night talks," she replied, "I bet you missed our talks more, it must have been hard being silent for three years, you had so much to say, Daekan," she teased.
" 'Don't mock me,' " he said, imitating the tone of her voice when she had said those words to him the evening before. It made him earn a 'are you serious?' kind of look from Enoria which made him laugh, "I had many things to say to you."
"Ah I forgot I was in love with an unsociable man who actually enjoyed being Tagon's silent shadow, the dark menace of Arthdal, the masked warrior with his deadly looks and his scary chains but whom half the women in Arthdal would like to put into their bed, without knowing that the only woman allowed there is actually the arrogant bitch I am."
He laughed and so did she. "At least you are aware of the reputation you built yourself."
"Of course I am, even though the other Daekans are trying to be discreet because they think something is going on between Tagon and I, I know they are not tender with me. I don't care, they are a bunch of idiots, somehow I would like to see the faces they would make if they knew that's with you I sleep."
"Let's hope we'll not find out what kind of faces they could make, that's because they think there's something between Tagon and you that they leave you alone, it gives you a sort of immunity."
"An immunity I intend to play with," she said as she approached the bed Yangcha was still lying in.
He took her hand and interlocked his fingers with hers. "Not too much, I won't be able to stay still if you flirt with him in front of me even if I know you don't want to do so."
"No matter what I may show to others, my heart belongs to you," she said before she leaned to him and kissed him, "I am so glad you took the risk to come yesterday."
"I couldn't miss the opportunity," he replied, "Tagon still doesn't trust you enough to let you be completely unsupervised. That's the first time he didn't make you follow, it would have been a shame if I had not taken the opportunity it was offering me, we may not have such chance before a long time."
"That's right," she said with a sad voice, "but if we don't have opportunities then we'll have to create them."
"Exactly," he replied with a smile.
"I am curious though, how did you know where to find me?"
"I know you, little Igutu. A secret place you like to rest, it was obviously not in Arthdal itself, but it was also not too far because you knew you had to come back in the morning. It was also not too close not to be bothered. You have always found the sound of water relaxing so I searched for a river, followed its course and I found you."
"The fact you know me so well is quite attractive," she murmured to him while leaning to him, he thought she was about to kiss him again but she didn't, she laughed a few millimeters from his lips, told him it was maybe time for him to get dressed except if he intended to go back to the Palace clothless, then informed him she was going to wait outside not to be tempt to take off her own clothes again.
He smiled as he watched her leave the house, then he laid back on the bed and sighed as he wished all his days to become like that. He sighed again before he finally stood up, dressed himself and joined her outside.
He hadn't tied back his mask on his face, he approached her and kissed her forehead before she took the mask from his hand and put it back on his face. She stood on tip-toe, kissed his lips through the mask and then told him he should go first and she would come too but would make a detour so that no one would suspect they were together.
"I love you," she murmured with a kind of sorrow in her voice.
"I love you more," he replied. It made her laugh and that was all he had wanted, they used to play childish games like that.
"We'll argue on that later, just go, don't make your precious Tagon wait," she teased.
He didn't want to go but they both knew it was impossible for them to stay together like that. They didn't know when they would get another secret meeting like that. They couldn't show anything when they were surrounded by people. One look, one gesture too expressive could betray them and lead them to death. He started leaving but he couldn't help himself turning back. Their eyes were telling everything, they didn't need words. They both wished to stop time and stay together into that little and hidden wooden house. They couldn't.
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She had waited a little before heading back to be sure Yangcha would already be back for a while.
When she entered Tagon's office, Yangcha was, as expected, already there.
She bowed to Tagon before she thanked him for the resting time he had given her, assured him it had been more than pleasant to have some time alone, then she went back to her place, near Yangcha who was, just like Tagon, glad she had more than appreciated her alone time.
They were standing next to one another in silence, both staring at the opposite wall, but when Tagon turned his back at them to search for a document, they quickly glanced at each other. They didn't show anything but if they could have, they would have laughed like two children mocking the clueless Union Leader who didn't notice anything suspicious when he turned back to return to his desk.
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Flashback chapters coming soon ♥
Thanks for reading ♥