Hello there my little rodents! Firstly I would like to thank Elkisgreat for letting me review their character! Secondly, thank you, reader, for clicking on my book, I really hope you appreciate it and keep on reading my chapters to come! <3
Please excuse the different setup, I could only screenshot their OC's bio. Also, this character will have multiple chapters dedicated to them, as I can only put a max of 20 screenshots in each chapter.
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Don't worry about setting up the exact time of your world, just let it come naturally to you. I really like the idea of your world, steampunk is very interesting to me. Also, everything here looks fine, just nail down the nationality because it can also help decide the "style" of steampunk, because not every country has to stem style fo fashion so in my head not every country has the same style of steampunk, but that's just an idea and you don't have to do that.
Like I said before, just try and nail down the nationality, and even then nationality doesn't really decide the skin color, that's more so ethnicity. For example, Braxton could have an English Nationality, as if he lives in England, but at the same time, he could have an African ethnicity, if that makes sense. Other than that, I think his appearance is great.
I like his character. Generally speaking, he is not a good person, and that is amazing. I really like that, because not every character is going to be a good person at heart. People are selfish, it's a thing. Overall, a good job. Just be careful that it doesn't get to a Mad Scientist OC because then he will sound a little generic.
This is a very good weakness. It fits his character and it's pretty original like you don't see a lot of selfish characters that aren't the villains of their story.
I think this is a very good balance for his weakness. And I like how you put that he is intelligent but he isn't wise, because like you said, they are completely different. There is a reason why they are always separate when you create a character in an RPG.
I like this, you managed to get what he is very skilled at while also throwing in some humor. Nice job.
These are nice fears, and they all seem very real and genuine.
So does Harriet know about his secret? How does he act when he is around her? Is he still arrogant and selfish or does he act more like an over-protective brother? Just things to think about.
I can sense some tea forming...
This makes sense, finding it hard to miss someone you barely knew. I know some people do feel this way, like if a family member died when they were young, but it fits more for Braxton that he doesn't miss his father.
This is nice. Braxton didn't know his Grandfather, but at the same time, he respects him because without him he wouldn't be into Science as much as he is. Very nice.
I think this is cute. It sounds like unrequited love, which is completely fine.
I would say they are more acquaintances instead of friends if Braxton doesn't really like him. It also makes sense that they would argue if they are pretty much opposites of each other. And the last part is very cute and adds a lot to his character.
It is a nice mentor/mentee relationship, so it's good.
I like this backstory. It matches very nicely with the time period that you may or may not go with, as back then, there were a lot of things seen as unladylike. Also, I think it's nice that he didn't tell Prof. Viceheart about his secret, as it could put more tension on Braxton and can help with the cause of his paranoia.