"Heyy Agnus!!! You're alive! Why weren't you at school? Where are you now? What happened?"
I moved the phone so that her voice didn't slap my ears like it did just that moment. "Hey, Ellie, look I didn't feel too well, and my dad and mom decided that I just stay at home yesterday and today...I'm sorry I didn't answer any phone calls or texts, truth be told, I kind of switched my phone off..."
"Avoiding Evan?"
"In a manner of speaking, I'm just taking a step back so that I can just see things a little more clearly..."
"Look, Evan is..."
"I'm sorry, Ellie," I interrupted. "I don't want you speaking on his behalf. I think it is long overdue that he explains himself...ok?"
"Ok, so I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Actually, I was hoping to pay a visit this afternoon, I can't stay for too long, unless Evan is singing at the Café?"
"No, he's singing tomorrow, and yes, he'll be here..." Ellie responded. "He's been stressing so much since your conversation on Sunday, but he hasn't told me anything."
I smiled. At least, he had somewhat respected my privacy. "Tell him I'll see him then."
"Ok..."
"Bye Ellie," I put the phone down and carried on with my homework. My phone buzzed, and I checked it a grinned.
Lisa: Hey girl! Looking forward to seeing you tonight! It's gonna rock!
Cara: Glad to hear you are still coming...I do believe this is the second time Keith invited you to the same event, but oh well. I believe we have lots of catching up to do!
I shook my head. Cara was very curious, and I'm sure most of it was to find out about Keith's history. Which in reality, was not my secret to share either. I thought about Joey, and realized that considering he was in the same school, he probably knew too.
The hours passed, and I asked my mom to drop me off at Evan's. The mall wasn't too far away, and I could walk from there.
As I walked into the large house, Ellie wrapped me into a huge hug.
"You look so much better," Ellie said and squeezed me tightly. I gasped and laughed.
"I soon won't be..."
"Sorry," Ellie grinned. "I'm gonna go, but we need to organize a girl's night...stat..."
"How bout at my place next time?"
"Sure," Ellie turned and I spotted Evan who was standing in the hallway.
"Can we talk?" I asked him. He nodded and motioned me to follow him outside. I took a deep breath.
"So...I have a lot of explaining to do..." Evan began and I nodded.
"Yes you do..."
"But I don't know where to start..."
"Maybe start with why you got me fired at my job?"
Evan nodded. He took a seat on the metal bench and sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking. I guess, it was a mix of protectiveness, along with jealousy...I guess..."
"Jealousy?" I frowned.
"After you nearly drowned, I felt that it was my duty to protect you and to take care of you...I was also jealous about how hard you stood up for Keith...considering our history, it didn't really go down well...so I thought, it may be best, if you didn't work there...and even your mom agreed it wasn't the best of neighbourhoods...."
I crossed my arms. "It still wasn't up to you to decide..."
"I know," Evan placed his hands on his face. "I really messed up...and I guess the reason why I didn't tell you about what happened between Keith and I was because I was so scared of losing you..." Evan looked at me and shook his head. "Because I could see how much you cared for Keith, knowing what I did..." Evan shook his head. "I'm so sorry Agnus..."
I knelt down in front of Evan and looked at him. His face was contorted in pain and anger, and I could still see the bruises of Tyler's fight.
"Evan," I spoke softly and he looked up at me. I placed my hand on his cheek.
"You saved my life, made me feel more alive than anybody I have ever known..."
Evan nodded, and a small smile appeared on his face.
"But there somethings, that although I may have ignored them in the past, I cannot ignore them now..." I whispered.
"And I'll change, I'll find a way to make it up to you..." Evan whispered back. His eyes met mine, and my chest was on fire. This hurt. So badly.
I shook my head. "Maybe, it's better if I took a step back, from all this..."
"What...like take a break?"
I nodded and sighed. "Evan, more like a break-up...although I cannot think of a single time you threw a hurtful insult at me...you did use me, in other ways. And although my heart is really wanting to believe you can change...my head tells me otherwise..."
"So everything we've been through, everything we are...you're just gonna throw it all away?"
"No, just, take a step back..."
Evan shook his head. "Why? Why can't you just give me another chance? Please, Agnus." Evan begged me.
"I'm sorry Evan, but no, I need time..."
"Time for what?"
"Time to see what I really want..."
"Don't you want me?"
"I do..." I responded honestly. "But I lose apart of myself when I am with you...a part of who I really am...and I don't know if I like the girl I am when I am with you, because she doesn't stand up against you when you bully someone..."
"I'm jerk...it's who I am, I thought you excepted that..."
"Yeah, thing is, I never should have in the first place...I shouldn't even have considered it..."
"Then why did you?"
I sighed and took a seat next to Evan. "I guess I was curious." I looked at him and he was frowning. "I was wondering what all the hype about going out with the bad boy was about...and I really did like you..."
"But?"
I smiled as he said this, and I shrugged. "But I guess the fact that you were a jerk caught up to me...and it's a higher price than I'm willing to pay..."
Evan nodded and I frowned. "You're awfully calm about this..."
"Because it's not over in my mind, Agnus...because I'm going to fight for you...till the very end..."
"Evan..."
"Nothing you say will change my mind...you are worth fighting for..."
I leaned over and kissed Evan's cheek. He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but return it. Darn it, he was cute, and he just made things so much more difficult. All I wanted to do was take the words back, and jump into his arms. However, I stopped myself. Evan may be very charming now, but if I fall straight back into his trap...I stood up.
"Good bye Evan...see you at school,"
"Good bye princess,"
I turned around and started walking away. I swallowed hard and did not turn around.
If I did, I knew I would not be able to resist him. Time to distract myself with a Disney movie...