The conversation I had with Sirius lingered in my mind for a long time. But I finally managed to let the matter go for a short time as the holidays fell upon us.
That year I had the most enjoyable Christmas I'd ever experienced in my life as I spent it with the people I loved even before I'd met them.
I even got my own Weasley Jumper with the letter L on it from Mrs. Weasley and wore it proudly for a whole day.
We spent the majority of the day playing Exploding Snaps with Ginny, Fred, and George and joined the others later on for dinner.
That night after everyone had gone to sleep, I stood awake, knowing that a meeting was being held in a few hours.
Soon, when I was called upon, I went downstairs where a few other members of the order were gathered, including Dumbledore, Hagrid, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Sirius, and Lupin.
"Ah, Miss Hooper," Dumbledore beamed up at me. "Please take a seat."
I nodded and did as asked, sitting next to Lupin who sent a small encouraging smile at me, which somehow managed to calm my nerves a bit.
"Hagrid came to us with great news weeks ago," said Dumbledore. "But of course, we couldn't have brought this to your notice before, as you were at school."
"What news?" I raised a brow, looking around at them.
"As you informed us about the giants, their new leader, the Gurg, indeed joined the Death Eaters and ordered to kill any giant that decided to side with us," Dumbledore continued. "But as you had warned us about this, Hagrid and Madam Maxime used magic as to hide three giants that managed to escape the Gurg."
"So — so you saved the three giants?"
"It was bloody hard, I tell yeh that," Hagrid nodded. "But we did it! Those blasted creatures... killin' each other off... but we saved three of them that thought Dumbledore had the right idea. And all thanks to yeh."
He then sent a wink at me, warming my heart as I found that I had helped. But soon my smiled faded away and I looked down with a frown, thinking.
"What is troubling you, Lexi?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes twinkling upon me.
"Can I talk to you, sir?" I asked, still not looking up. "In private?"
There was a few seconds of silence as his eyes pierced through me, that he finally nodded.
"Better get you to bed, Arthur," said Mrs. Weasley suddenly, gettin up promptly. "You need your rest."
"I should probably get goin' too," said Hagrid, nearly turning the table over by accident as he stood up.
But Sirius was the only one still sitting motionless, looking between me and Dumbledore. Finally, Lupin too got up and held Sirius by the arm.
"But — but I want to stay!" Sirius groaned as Lupin tried to forcefully pull him off his seat.
"Don't be such a baby, Padfoot!" Lupin scolded but then grinned.
And so one by one, everyone left the room, leaving me and Dumbledore alone under the dim light.
"Well, Lexi? What's wrong?"
"How can you tell if something's going to be for the better or for worse, when I change them?" I asked, straightly getting to the point.
"I simply cannot tell," Dumbledore gave me a sad smile. "Which is why I constantly ask you to minimize the meddling. We don't know how bad the outcome might become."
"But what if it's not bad at all!?" I retorted. "What if — like how Mr. Weasley got healed faster, or how we got three giants on our side — the outcome of saving someone could actually lead to somebody else being saved as well?"
"In that case, your guess is just as good as mine. We can never be sure of the consequences." He then smiled kindly once more, saying, "Do you remember what I told you last year in my letter?"
I bit the inside of my cheek before repeating his words with trembling lips and in a small voice, "That certain sacrifices must take place."
"Exactly."
I thought for a bit before finally saying, "What about those lives that weren't a sacrifice in the first place? Those that were just... victims?"
Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him into it as I said quickly,
"You said it yourself that it wasn't an accident that I was sent here. You know too that there's something I was destined to change. But how can I do that, how can I change it, if you forbid me from doing it?"
Dumbledore looked at me warily, before sighing. "I have a theory about what you just asked, Lexi. And I don't know if this is the right time for me to say it to you or not. But I should take my chances, for I don't know what the future holds."
"Wh-what is it?"
"I believe," he started, "that when the time comes for you to fulfill your duty and change what you've been sent back to change, you will receive a sign."
That wasn't news to me. I had heard this sentence before when I had eavesdropped on Sirius and Lupin's conversation.
"And what sign is that, sir?" I asked.
"I have my guesses. But one is more unlikely than the other."
"Then how would I know what the sign is?"
"I believe that it would be obvious enough. So keep your eyes open for the signs, Lexi. But don't initiate otherwise. We don't know if your meddling would make things better or worse. So we have to minimize the risk until then. Do you understand?" I started at him for a few seconds before nodding weakly.
He's hiding something from me, I thought to myself grimly. I know he is.