Okay, quick question!
I'm gonna make a book, for Camp Camp! I already have a basic idea and outline and stuff but I don't have a main character!
So, if you want, could you comment who I should make the main character? It can be any of the main kids(preferably not Max? Nothing against him! It's just that a lot of books are about him, y'know?)
Okay! Thanks!
Warnings: swearing, crying, food mention, hospital mention(no one goes to one, dw), underage drinking mention, tell me if I missed one!
Ships sailing today: Nerris/Nikki and Max&Nerris (/=romantic &=platonic)
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"What's it like to be alone on a Sunday?Remembering the time you saw them just yesterday?"
Nerris sat on the cold tile of her kitchen floor. It was exactly 2:47 in the morning and Nerris was numb. Tired and numb. She had a bowl of soggy cereal placed in her lap with the spoon in her left hand. Her phone was in her right but it wasn't on. She...she thinks it's dead? Well, she hadn't charged it since much earlier this morning. So it should be dead.
She placed her phone on the floor next to her and picked up the bowl of cereal. She scooped up some of the cereal, frosty flakes maybe, onto the spoon and held it up to her lips. She put it in her mouth and chewed.
It was gross. Why the hell was she eating this?
She placed the spoon in the bowl and the bowl on the ground next to her. She wasn't even really hungry. She mostly just had to clear her head. Get out of her room. The fairy lights had started to become like chains on her mind and she needed a change of scenery. Maybe the kitchen wasn't exactly it though?
She missed Nikki. Sure, she saw her girlfriend just a few hours ago but she wanted to talk to her. She was the best thing about Nerris' days and she hated being apart, as stupid as it sounded.
She still remembered the warmth of Nikki's body on hers (not like that you pervs). Nikki had insisted on laying on Nerris as a "blanket" and refusing to let her disagree. She said she was protecting Nerris from the world.
Nerris could really use her blanket right about now.
"Sing me a song, tell me your thoughts.
I could listen to you all night long."
"Hello?"
"Hey." Nerris whispered. She could hear some shuffling around on the other side before a yawn escaped Nikki's mouth.
"Hey, babe. What's...what's up?" Nikki asked, yawning in the middle of her sentence. Nerris blinked but didn't say anything.
"Babe? Ya still there?" She asked. Nerris nodded before realising that was stupid.
"Uhm, yeah. Yeah I'm still here. Uh, sorry," she stumbled, shaking her head lightly. Nikki hummed but said nothing.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Nikki asked, making Nerris smile. Whenever either were upset the other would ask 'a penny for your thoughts?'. That's how they started dating, it kinda became there "always" as cringy as it may be.
"I don't think a penny is worth all the shit in my mind.” Nerris mumbled. Nikki hummed once more.
"Could you talk?" Nerris asked.
"Okay," Nikki replied, not questioning the strange request at the ungodly hour. "Did I ever tell you about the time Space kid, Nurf, Ered and I went…"
Nerris put the phone on speaker and lowered the volume. She laid her head back on the dull colored cabinet and closed her eyes, letting the sound of her girlfriends voice wash over her.
"And I don't care about my sleeping routine. I fucked it up as it is but we've got so much time to kill."
"You look like shit."
"Gee, thanks." Nerris mumbled, not lifting her head from the locker. Max just shrugged and leaned against the locker next to her, not caring about whos it was. Nerris didn't stop him. It was just Dolfs. Didn't matter.
"So, rough night?" Max asked, the forced nonchalance in his voice sounding borderline painful. Nerris shrugged.
"Haven't been sleeping too well lately." She mumbled. The bright lights were starting to hurt her head. It was pounding. She didn't know why. She only had...a few glasses of her mom's wine.
Max hummed but didn't say anything else. He was still getting use to the whole "caring about others" thing, ever since he moved in with Gwen. He would've moved in with David but that would have driven him insane. Not like that stopped David from visiting everyday at least once.
"Hey," Nerris piped up, grabbing Max' attention. "Wanna go to Waffle House with me at 3am?" Nerris asked, tilting her head to stare at Max. Max looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
"What about sleeping?" He asked. Nerris shrugged.
"Sleep is for the weak. Plus I've always wanted to go to Waffle House at 3am."
"As the night rocks me to sleep. Life's too short to worry about things that we got wrong"
Nerris stared at the fairy lights coating her room in an ethereal glow. No matter how many times she stared at them she never once regretted getting them. They were the first thing she ever bought with her own money and thanks her past self everyday.
Nerris felt quite cold. She should put on a blanket...she didn't. She decided that a blanket would not be good enough. It was almost summer, just a few weeks of school left. It was a warm night, might as well stare at the stars. That's the whole reason her family moved out here, to ease Nerris and help her with her anxiety. The stars helped, so they moved to the stars.
She climbed out of her bed, grabbing her hoodie, and over to her window. She had a little window seat thing, like in girl meets world. She usually spends most of her time sitting there but it was late. Netflix was calling and she moved to the bed. Then the show ended and now she's here.
She opened up the window, making sure to be as quite as possible. Didn't wanna wake up and worry her parents. She climbed out and onto the roof. A rush of warm night air flew past her and she breathed in the smell of fresh leaves dew. It was a calming scent.
She sat right outside her window. Not too close or she might fall. She tugged on her hoodie. It was one of Nikki's. She had stolen it.
Yes, she was that girlfriend. Fight her. They're comfy.
She decided to lay down. Count the stars and look at the constellations. When she did lay down, though, that did not happen. Her mind started to wander which is always bad for her.
She thought of the past. Her friends and how they met. Camp Campbell and the squirrels that tried to kill them. Her adventures and her mistakes. She couldn't seem to stray from her mistakes. Her mind wouldn't allow it.
She thought of texting Nikki. It was late though. Three maybe? Maybe four. Nerris wasn't sure but she knew it was really late. And the stars were so bright. She decided to count them, like she had originally planned. Turn off her mind.
It didn't work that well, but it was good enough for now.
"So hug all your friends and let them know, you're not letting go."
Nerris ran up to Ered and hugged her the minute she saw her. Before Ered could question it she let go and hugged Harrison, who she was walking with. She let go before either could question it and babbled about finding the others before running off.
"Do you know what's going on with Nerris?" Harrison asked. Ered shook her head.
"No. She's been acting kinda...uncool lately. Like, not a normal uncool. Like, a...worrying type?" Ered said, walking over to her locker. Harrison followed.
"Do you think she knows something? Something that freaked her mind but bad? The last time she acted like this was when her dad was in the hospital. She was really…"
"Animated?" Ered offered. Harrison nodded.
"Yeah, she talked to me and Pres about it last time. It's kinda to, like, overcompensate? I don't know. She'll probably tell us soon." He said.
"We are, like, her best friends." Ered agreed.
They walked off, switching the topic to a show they had been bingeing together.
"No I won't let go, oh-oh. Remember when we felt like animations."
The last time Nerris felt like this was about a year ago because her dad had been in the hospital because he got hit by a car and she felt really really really really really sad and she almost cried-or maybe she did she couldn't really remember-but all she knows is that she was sad but then she wasn't and she was going going gone because the world felt so slow and she felt so fast and Pres and Harrison had an invention-or maybe it was intervention- yeah she thinks it was intervention- and they told her to sit down and stop smiling because they were scared-she was scaring them- she apologized!
She was so sorry. So so sorry. And suddenly... suddenly the world... slowed down. Like it finally caught up with her. Like she could stop. She could breathe. Not really, she knew she could always do that. It didn't feel like it though. Like she was being suffocated maybe. Like she didn't need to. Like an animation.
"And didn't need A grades for self-validation? Tell me about the things that you love."
"What do you love?"
"Hm?"
"What do you love? It's a simple question."
Nerris didn't think so but she wasn't gonna tell Dr. Shelly that.
"I...I-uhm-"
"Want me to help?"
"How?"
"I can tell you what you said you loved before."
"Yes please."
"You love your parents-"
"I do."
"You love your house and the stars-"
"They're beautiful. Both things. "
"You love getting good grades-"
"It means I'm good. I'm almost perfect."
"You don't need to be, hun. You love D&D-"
"My DM is pretty fun. The new one, I mean."
"You love your friends-"
"Even if they don't love me."
"They do. You love your girlfriend-"
"With all my heart."
"You love so much. Why can't you let these things love you?"
Nerris had an answer. She didn't say it though. Dr. Shelly didn't ask.
"The world simply needs more affection 'cause, I don't care about what people think of me."
"Nerris!" Nikki yelled through giggles, racing to catch up with her girlfriend. Nerris laughed, loud and joyful but didn't stop. She kept running through downtown. Dodging people as she went.
When Nikki finally caught up to Nerris, not even sweating, she gave her a fake glare.
"What was that? Do you know how crazy you looked?"
"I don't care how crazy I looked," Nerris said, hooking an arm around Nikki's waist. "As long as I'm with you."
Nikki smiled before giving her a quick peck on the lips.
"Come on. Let's go back to my place and watch horrible movies."
"I'm fucked up as it is but we've got so much time to kill and so many things to see."
Nerris couldn't stop them. The tears. They just kept flowing and she didn't know what to do. She tried wiping them away but they kept coming. She tried counting. That didn't work. She tried watching funny videos on her phone. That didn't work! She didn't know what to do!
Today had been so normal too. Just an average day. She had been eating lunch with her friends in the cafeteria and Max made some stupid joke about D&D and then she felt like crying. She excused herself to the bathroom before she actually shed a tear but she thinks her friends might know something's up.
"Nerris?" It was Max. What was he doing? The fuck was he doing in here? He's gonna get suspended! She sniffled and stood up, leaving the stall to go scold him. When he saw her emerge from the stall, snot covered and teary eyes, he smiled. She hated that he was.
"You shouldn't be in here."
"When have I ever given a fuck?"
Nerris smiled and moved to sit on the sink. She was gonna kick him out, sure, but she suddenly didn't care anymore. Strange, she's been really emotional lately.
Maybe she's dying?
Nah, she doesn't think so.
"What's wrong?" He asked, walking towards her. She shrugged and looked down. Max stopped right in front of her, crossing his arms. She didn't look at him. He didn't ask her too
"I'm fucked up, Max." She said. She hoped he wouldn't think she was dodging the question. In her eyes this was the perfect answer.
"We all are." He said. She shook her head.
"No. Space kid isn't. Dolph isn't either. Ered and Harrison and Preston and Neil. They're all fine. Nikki too. They all have their shit together."
"You're lying."
"I don't think I am."
They didn't say anything. Max moved closer to her. They were almost nose to nose.
Nerris rested her head on his shoulder, tears starting to leak from her eyes. Max didn't object. She thought he would.
They knew they couldn't stay there forever. In the gross, smelly, girls bathroom on the first floor, right next to the good water fountain. They didn't care though. Especially when Max started swaying back and forth.
"Life's too short to worry about things that we got wrong. So hug all your friends and let them know."
Nerris leaned into Nikki's side, her ukelele placed perfectly in her hands. Her feet were stationed on her headboard and her friends were strewn about her bedroom. They were having one of their monthly sleepovers(hosted at Nerris' this month) when Space kid noticed her ukulele. She told them her therapist got it for her. Something to do when things got too much. They begged for her to play something. She agreed.
"I only know one song, though." She had told them. They said they didn't care.
So she played. A song that she'd been listening to on repeat for a while.
"You're not letting go, I won't let go."
Nerris smiled. With her friends all around her and her girlfriend by her side. It was pretty nice.
It wasn't perfect but it felt pretty darn close.
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Am i just projecting my emotions onto Nerris?!?
No, actually, although it does look like it! Man, this is angsty! My specialty!
Anyway, hope ya liked it! Bye~