Skylar's POV.
My eyes slowly fluttered open as I regained consciousness. The pain hit me first then that annoying voice stuck in my head hit me second. Skylar! I really need to talk to you! A growl escaped me and I sat up realizing where I am. The hospital room is as plain and white as I'd thought it'd be. I pressed a hand to my head. Why am I here? The events from last night slowly appeared in my memories.
Confusion hit me first. Siqiniq, how do you know how to fight like that? Then, one by one, more questions came to me. How did you know that was our mate by just his howl? Why was he on the other side of the river? Was he the one who protected us? Why didn't he take us with him? Why wasn't he acting like how a werewolf should when they meet their mate? Siqiniq... did he reject us?
She didn't respond at first. One question at a time. No, he did not reject us. I am not sure why he left like so, but I am not entirely sure he is a werewolf. Skylar, you obviously do not realize that I can recognize our mate and when I heard him howl, I just somehow knew that he is our mate. It is purely instinct based and I am an expert on instincts. Heck, I am your instincts. And when we were younger and used to train with the gammas, I tried to take in as much information as I could. I wanted to be able to protect you to the best of my ability.
My shock stopped me from responding, but once I did recover, I wasn't even sure what to say. Why did I never know of any of this?
Because you never asked. She paused, allowing me to take in the information. There is a lot you refuse to understand and learn, Sky. If you would just listen for once, we could have been invincible.
Anger blossomed within me. So it's my fault? Why didn't you help me 'understand and learn'?
Yes, it is your fault because you never listened! She snapped at me. Shock quickly replaced my anger. Siqiniq had never snapped at me. You never gave me the chance! I have wanted to the entire time I have been with you, but I was never given the chance! She paused, but I knew she wasn't finished. I know that what I did was painful. I know that taking you away from our parents near the end of their lives was painful. But neither of us could have helped our parents in that situation. I did what I knew was best for both of us. Sky do you even realize that they were my parents too? They raised me too! We are two souls intertwined, meaning we are each half of our whole soul. There is no you or me, it is us!
I couldn't respond. I wanted to though. I wanted to deny her and prove her wrong. But I couldn't, because she was all the way right.
I am truly sorry, Skylar, but you are ignorant and immature and you do not realize that terrible things happen to other people and not just yourself! It felt like a punch. She had never spoken to me in such a way and I am in no way used to it. I wish I was never intertwined with your soul. And with that, she cut off communication with me.
It all hit me full force and I felt a need to throw up. Tears collected at the corners of my eyes and I let them fall down my face in ugly streams. But I made no sound, for I was too shocked at everything that had just happened.
My motionless state made me angry. I needed to do something, anything. And without a second thought I kneeled on the bed and turned around and started slamming my fists into my pillow. Though I am not angry, I am more... truthfully I'm filled with an emotion I cannot seem to place. However, I still felt a need to do something to take away my focus from my thoughts.
"What the fuck happened, Skylar?" A yelp escaped my lips as I recognized the voice to be Chase's. I sat back down and faced him. His face put on a skeptical and curious look.
"How... how long have you been there?" I panted, my little exercise had left me out of breath.
Chase paused before answering, "long enough," he gave me another pause, "from the start, tell me every single detail about the night you were attacked?"
A confused frown formed on my face. "The night I was attacked? How long have I been out?"
He sighed, "only two days. You must have hit your head pretty hard, but I also think that you are having an internal struggle." His opinions startled me, I had never told anyone about my problems with my wolf. "I know you well Sky, so I know something's wrong inside of you. And I also know that you are going to deny it-"
"Of course I am going to deny it, it's not true. My wolf and I get along perfectly fine for your information." I snapped and spoke too quickly and both of us knew it.
Chase didn't respond as quickly as I had. He looked down at the floor in frustration and disappointment. His eyes made contact with mine and I knew exactly what he planned on doing to get me to speak, "Omega Skylar, tell me right now, what is going on with your wolf," he used his gamma voice on me. Though it is not as powerful as an alpha's voice or a beta's voice, it can still command anyone lower than the gamma position.
Tears blurred my vision and I spoke through gritted teeth, "since my parents death, I do everything in my power to not talk to my wolf and each time I do talk to her, I get in a fight with her. She is my burden and I wish she was never my wolf!," I shouted at him. He flinched. "How dare you use your gamma voice on me! Get out! Just get out!"
Hurt filled his eyes and didn't leave, but anger soon joined that emotion. "I am not done here!" I wiped my cheeks from the tears that had fallen and looked anywhere but him. "Skylar, look at me." I didn't. "Look at me, omega!" That's the second time he used his gamma voice on me. "Tell me what happened the night you were attacked."
"I was attacked," I snapped.
His jaw tightened and his fists clenched as he stared at me with raw anger. "Tell me what happened in detail, omega." That is now the third time he used his gamma voice and this time I didn't even hide the hurt I am feeling, I just sat there and allowed the tears to flow.
"I heard my mate howl and I went looking for him. After traveling in the woods, I came upon Snake River. Instead of finding my mate, I found two werewolves. They attacked me and I tried to fight back. Then a third creature came up behind me, and when I tried to turn to face it, the werewolves took the advantage and attacked me again. At that point, I was too weak to get up and I was barely conscious. The third creature I think attacked and killed the rogues." I paused allowing Chase to process it and for me to wipe my running nose.
Chase took this as a time for him to speak, "Why did it help you?"
My mind was fuzzy from the incident, but I knew why, I just didn't want to speak about it yet. "I don't know."
A frown formed on Chase's face, "but you must!"
"But I don't!" I cried out and burst into tears. Why did my mate help me if he didn't want to stay with me? Why did he leave? Does he not want me as a mate? Is that his way of rejection? Once the questions started, I couldn't stop them.
Chase wrapped me in a brotherly hug, but I pushed him away, still hurt by his actions and words. "I just want to be alone for a while." I didn't even need to look to know he was hurt by my rejection of his hug. He sighed and walked out without another word.
So I laid there, crying and unable to fall asleep. The pain throughout my body seemed like nothing compared to the thought of my mate abandoning me. The day did not wait for me and time continued. A nurse came with lunch and gave me a lecture about how I have to eat. My only response to her consisted of a small smile and a nod.
Early in the night, a knock sounded from the door. Quickly, I wiped my tears and told whoever was on the other side of the door to come in, hoping it isn't Chase. It isn't. It's all of my omega friends. Olivia's squeals pierced my ear drums. "Skylar! Oh my! How are you holding up?"
A smile made its way on my face. "Just fine-"
"Fine? Just fine? That's not good enough for me!" Olivia cut me off, "don't worry I'll break you out of here!"
A laugh escaped my mouth, "Olivia, it's ok. You don't need to break me out."
"You're going to be ok, right? No serious injuries?" Leya asked me.
I gave her a nod. "Yes, of course. You don't need to worry."
"But you were attacked and two rogues! We have a right to be worried!" Camden exploded, but he quickly put his head down. "I just want you to be alright, you know that."
"Yeah, we just wanted to check on you to make sure you're getting treated well." David spoke next.
"I'll beat up anyone who hurts you!" Lukas spoke up. Lukas is a kappa who works for our packs business. He used to be an omega, however, his mate is a kappa, so he moved up the ranks to join her.
"And I'll join him!" His mate, Elise, quickly commented with enthusiasm. She was a bit new to the group, but still fun.
Warmth filled my heart, "thank you, all of you, but shouldn't all of you get some sleep?"
"Sleep is for the weak!" Olivia shouted.
A nurse popped her head in, "yes, very true, so please let the weak patients sleep. No more shouting."
We all laughed, but obied her command. "So, what have I missed?" I asked hoping to keep the conversation going. It's also selfish of me, for I am trying to distract myself from Chase, my mate, and Siqiniq. Each of them I desperately want to talk to, but at the same time, I want to avoid them.
My friends filled me in on everything, including the second round of the food fight. Laughter quickly filled the room and I hope it never leaves because it's a very good distraction. However, when my friends left, they took their laughter with them and left me with my cold thoughts.
I laid down and curled into a ball with a blanket over me. My eyelids shut tightly in an attempt to force myself to sleep. But, the thoughts I had been hoping to avoid eventually came upon my mind and seemed poke and prod at me.
My mind couldn't help but wonder about Siqiniq. I had never realized that she was always watching to try to help me. No wonder she was able to fight off the rogues, I would have been killed very quickly if I was in control when we were attacked.
What kind of werewolf am I if I can't forgive my own wolf? If I won't even let her talk to me? My parents died at the hands of those rival werewolves, not Siqiniq. But I needed a scapegoat to take my anger out on. Siqiniq, please, if you can hear me... I think it's time we talk and have a real conversation. I just want to fix everything between us. Please, Siqiniq, please. She did not reply, but I know she heard me because she blocked off my communication with her.
Silently, warm tears rolled down my cheeks as I continued to lay in the cold darkness with my harsh questions. And the more I attempted to push them out, the harder they poked at me until they soon felt like knives penetrating my brain, begging me to answer. I know if I answer those harsh questions, I will only hurt myself more and bring up even more questions.
Eventually, sleep came. Sleep that consisted of nightmares and more questions. Sleep that made me want to stay awake. Despite knowing I am not going to restful sleep tonight, I continue to lay still and hope that perhaps I will fall unconscious where no kind of dream or question lingers. However, that wish would not happen. Not for tonight. Not for tomorrow. Not for many nights.