Oc Reviews! (Closed For Now)

By Winter_Evergreen

5K 146 560

CURRENTLY UNDER MANAGEMENT I will be reviewing Oc's as I'm getting them, meaning if you send yours first, I w... More

Form
Patches
Johanna Norville
Avril Delacroix
Samuel Kohler
Zuna
Karik
Gilbert Wagner
Pierre
Ivondor Thanelieos Aleskzendr Aurios
A19-74207-1 (Part 1)
A19-74207-1 (Part 2)
Diba Kasali
Braxton (1)
Braxton (2)
Donovan
Maverick
A/N
Agent Flentt
A/N
Arya Benitez
Uchikoshi Usagi
A/N
Yume Hakushin
Dyah
Mei Anderson
Tsumi Kandei
Tomiko Koemi
Merlyn (Darwin) Gwynn
Anuki (Pride)
Chen Xue
Twitch
Twitch 2
Ninozael Austreya
N/A
Umi Ayumi
Taiko Hirabayashi
Nemii Gardener
Jamaica

Tenka Kagesho

136 3 7
By Winter_Evergreen

Hello there my little rodents! Firstly I would like to thank Kenma_bean5 for letting me review their character! Secondly, thank you, reader, for clicking on my book, I really hope you appreciate it and keep on reading my chapters to come! <3

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Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

I haven't reviewed a character from this show yet, and I've never watched it, however, I'm quite interested in it, so this should be interesting.


Name: Kagesho, Tenka (L/N, F/N)

I like his name, is there any meaning behind it?


Nickname: N/A

Age: 16

Sex: Male

Sexual Orientation: Homoromantic (Homosexual + Asexual)

Okay jush, live your life


Relationship Status: N/A

Crush: N/A

Species: Human

Personality: Caring, sometimes too much; Pretty Easygoing; Mostly bubbly and annoying; Sarcastic every now and then; Friendly most days; Weird

In what ways is he weird? Why is he onlt friendlt "most days"?


Hobbies: Go on his cellphone; Sleep; Play A Bit Of Volleyball; Play Video Games; Hanging Out With His Friend(s); Doodle/Draw

Seems human-like, so this is fine.


Habits: Staring At Something (could be anything)

Nice habit, is this why he is deemed "weird"?


Likes: Bakugo; Cats; Sleep; Turtles; Volleyball; Food; Being Relaxed

Is there a reason he likes cats and turtles?


Dislikes: Kirishima (Don't Ask); People Yelling (Bakugo is an exception); Annoying/Stupid People; Being in crowded rooms

Sorry but ima have to ask, why does he dislike Kirishima? I thought he was friendly, caring and easy-going?


Powers/Quirk: Manipulation (Allows the user to distort a person's brain on what they see and feel. The drawbacks are quite severe, and if used too much, can cause major headaches. And to an extent, their brain could even explode.)Aerokinesis [Given By All for One] (Allows the user to manipulate air in any way to their leisure. The drawbacks of this quirk initiate breathing to be difficult if used too much, so Tenka always makes sure to have inhalers with him at all times.)

These are very powerful quirks, so maybe he should have a time limit on the manipulation quirk, or maybe scrap one of them?


Strengths: Confident (Most Times), Caring, Careful, Understanding

Weaknesses: Talkative, Antisocial, Indecisive, Fearful, Overthinker, Distant

This is ok, try and be a little more descriptive with these because it sounds like these should be in the "personality" section.


Friends: Bakugo Katsuki; Tokoyami Fumikage; Amajiki Tamaki (somewhat); Midoriya Izuku; Kirishima Eijiro; Kaminari adenoids; Ashido Mina; Sero Hanta; Jiro Kyoka

Enemies: Kirishima Eijiro (at the same time, Kirishima is friends with a Bakugo, making him Tenka's friend as well) Todoroki Shoto

It seems like he is friends and enemies with only a majority of his classmates. How does he feel about the others like Mineta, Momo or Tsuyu? Also, why does he dislike Kirishima and Shoto? These are things you also have to add somewhere in your OC form not only for me butfor anything. Not only is this going to help readers understand your OC but it will also help you understand them, their goals and their aspirations more.


Fears: Gynophobia; Emetophobia

Next time please add what each is, only because some readers may not know what these are. In case you are wondering gynophobia is the fear of women and emetophobia is the fear of vomit. Is there any reason why he is afraid of these? Especially his fear of women because before you put that he was confident.


Aspirations: To become a pro hero

This doesn't make sense with his backstory.


Looks: Black, messy hair with yellow or gold-like eyes. Mostly seen smiling or focusing. Normally wears a loose dress shirt and black ties, with black baggy pants with red and black shoes.

Height: 171cm (5'7 1/2")

Weight: 140lbs.

Distinguishing Features: N/A

All this is fine to me.


Clothing: Tenka likes clothing at is comfortable and loose. Mainly, he wears oversized hoodies and baggy jeans. He wears many T-Shirts and is almost never seen shirtless, due to insecurity.

His clothing is fine but the insecurity part is confusing me. Like I said before, I thought he was confident? So you either need to change that aspect of his personality or change his insecurities.


Accessories: Inhalers (due to quirk), Friendship bracelets

Physical Illness: N/A

Mental Illness: N/A

Family: Shikoku Kagesho (Father, Deceased), Ai Kagesho (Mother, Alive), Konomu Kagesho (Elder Sister, Unknown Status)

Why is Konomu's status unknown? You never explained it in any other part of the form.


Backstory: When he was a young child, Tenka and his family relocated to Musutafu, for his father being a pro hero. There, he met Bakugo Katsuki and Izuku Midoriya, who were the same age (ish) and grade as he and had claimed as friends. When he was given his quirk, Tenka was one of the few children that inherited a completely different quirk than his parents. At the age of seven years old, Tenka's father had passed away by a villain. As expected, Tenka grew rather depressed and protective over his friends, Bakugo mainly not listening to his counters. Tenka enrolled at a different school than Bakugo and Midoriya, Shiratori Private Junior High. Not like it stopped him and Bakugo from hanging out. In his third and last year of junior high, Tenka encountered Tomura Shigaraki, who he'd made a deal with to become a villain, to protect his family and best friend from their schemes. Joining the villains, All for One decided to supply another quirk to him (Areokinesis). With his original quirk, he altered memories of himself and replaced them with a boy named Noriyaku Yokuro. Now a villain and especially in disguise, he attends U.A. High School with Bakugo Katsuki and Izuku Midoriya, gathering information about the school and their intentions.

First of all, you need to add a few bits of information: Why is his sister's status unknown? When was the last time he saw her? How does this affect his mother? How did he meet Tomura? Does he go into the school as Tenka or Noriyaku? How does this affect his relationship with Bakugou and Izuku because if they were friends before that would know what he looks like and they would know something is up. Secondly, this backstory clashes with his aspiration. Either change his backstory or change his aspiration to "Destroying UA" or "Killing every Pro Hero". The sooner you do this, the sooner his backstory and aspiration will match up and make more sense.

Inspiration: Bakugo Katsuki and his amazing-ness.

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Thank you so much Kenma_bean5 for letting me review Tenka Kagesho, I think you need to tweek a few things, but in all honesty, I think this will make him better as a character because right now some of your ideas are clashing with each other. Please, guys, go check out Kenma_bean5 and their profile, go show some love and support! Also, thank you guys so so much for reading my book! Subscribe to my profile for more updates on chapter and other books, vote this chapter if you really liked it and if you want, go ahead and drop your on OC in the "Form" chapter, which is the very first one. I will do what I can to review your OC and give you as much honest advice as possible. That's that Space Cats <3

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