We are all broken inside, but that's how the light gets in.
-Ernest Hemingway-
"What!" Marie shouts through the phone, something that's becoming habit every time we talk. "Okay so let me get this straight, the creepy Doctor you hate attacked you, McDreamy." "Cameron." I interrupt her. "Whatever came rushing to your aid and has been taking care of you, and now you're living with him!" "I'm not living with him Marie." I let out a sigh. "Really. When's the last time you stayed the night at your house?" She asks. "That doesn't matter. Why are you upset?" "Oh, I'm not upset Amm, I'm proud of you!" "Wait, what? I'm confused, why are you yelling at me again?" "I'm not yelling I'm being enthusiastic, I mean I'm a little disappointed that you didn't call me sooner, when did all this happen, what a week ago?" "I know and I'm really sorry, but to my defense I was on painkillers, you know what a lightweight I am." The phone is silent for a moment. "Okay you got me there." She laughs. "So the first two days were a blur, and when the Vicodin wore off my phone was dead." I pause. "Do you still love me?" I ask her. She laughs again. "Of course I do Amm, you know I can never stay mad at you." "Thanks Marie." "Just keep me in your life okay." "I will always, I promise." I smile. "Okay enough sappy stuff tell me about living with McDreamy!" Now I laugh.
An hour later I'm finally off the phone with Marie. Cameron's driving me back to the hospital so they can recheck my ankle and head, my headaches have been getting worse so we both want to make sure there isn't more damage than we originally thought. "Okay!" Dr. Reese says as he walks through the exam room door. "Well good new Ambrosia your CT scan looks excellent; we can't find anything that looks concerning to us." He takes a seat on the stool next to the exam room table I'm sitting on. "It looks like your ankle wasn't sprained just bruised up a bit. How's it feeling?" He asks. "Good, really good." I smile. "So how long do you think before I can start running again?" I ask with eagerness. Dr. Reese laughs. "Let's give it another week or so just to make sure it's completely healed. Don't look so disappointed, physically you're healing very quickly." Dr. Reese gives me a concerned look. "I know this is probably still a sore subject for you, well I guess it is for all of us, but how are you doing emotionally with everything?" I look over at Cameron who grabs my hand and gently rubs it. "I'm doing okay with it just taking it a day at a time." I keep my response short. "Well, that's good I'm glad, and what I'm going to tell you next I'm not only saying to you as your doctor but also as your friend. We have a wonderful therapist here who would love to talk to you should you need it." I smile at him. "I appreciate that Dr. Reese but it's not necessary." He nods his head. I haven't told anyone that I'm already seeing a therapist, no one including Cameron knows about my past, well most of it.
Back in the car I can feel Cameron glancing over at me. "What?" I ask without looking at him. "Dr. Reese tells me that you're already asking when you can go back to work." "And." I shrug my shoulders. "It's only been a week Ambrosia; don't you think its a little soon to start thinking about working again?" "Don't you think its a little early in our relationship to be bossing me around?" I shoot back. "That's not what I'm trying to do Ambrosia." He say calmly. I know he's not, but I stand my ground. "Cameron I'm not going to hide out like a coward in your house forever, I'm not afraid of him, besides he's still in jail, right?" Cameron sighs. "Yes, he is, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have friends willing to do him a favor by hurting you, he's a real sick bastard Ambrosia."
"Don't you think I know that I mean what kind of person attacks and threatens someone for defending themselves." "Exactly, that's why it's a bad idea to start working." I take a deep calming breath, but it doesn't help, my anger boils to the surface. "What am I supposed to do when you're at work?" I ask him. "You can't expect me to stay locked in your house until you get home, I need to work, I can't live like that Cameron." "What safe!" He yells. "No, In fear." My tone is even. As we pull into our neighborhood, I turn towards him. "I've already been cleared to go back to work Cameron so you can just accept that or." "Or what?" He looks over at me. I lift my chin. "Or you're going to lose whatever this is." He lets out a long breath and pulls into his garage. Turning off the engine he turns to me. "I'm afraid I'm going to lose you either way." He whispers as he gets out of the car and walks inside.
I stay sitting for a couple minutes longer trying to collect my thought and emotions about what he just said. I find Cameron in the kitchen making some coffee. He doesn't acknowledge my presence, but I know he knows I'm here. "Would it be okay if I go for a walk on the beach? Or are you afraid I might get attacked by a shark?" I spit out sarcastically, my angry still fresh, but I instantly regret it. He doesn't turn around right away, and I see him shake his head. "Ambrosia I'm sorry you're upset but I'm not going to feel bad about wanting to keep you here where you're safe." I throw my hands in the air. "Do you think just because I'm at your house he won't be able to get to me?" I shake my head. "Exactly, if you think he could get to you here, how is your work where he probably knows how to get around without being seen any better?" "Umm maybe because I work with a hundred other people who know everything that's happened." I shoot back. "He cornered you once Ambrosia, he could do it again, probably easier than before since I don't think a sick bastard like him will make the same mistakes twice. Is that what Damon would want." I take a step back in disbelief. "How dare you!" I shout. Cameron's shoulders drop as he realizes his mistake. "I'm sorry, your right." He takes a step towards me. "Don't!" I put my hands up. "I need to be alone." Before he can say anything, I walk out the back door and call max to come with me, I'm upset but I don't think he'll follow me if I have max.
I only walked to the shore in front of Cameron's house. Sitting in the sand I throw a stick for max while letting my mind run through everything that's happened the past year. I keep thinking about how my life got to this point. If I'm truthful with myself, I am a little afraid, I don't want to be cornered again. I couldn't bring myself to tell Cameron he not only attacked me, but he assaulted me in the process. He stayed true to his promise and now he has made another. My mind wonders back to the voice message. I shudder at the thought of what might have happened to me had no one come in to help or what might have happened to me if I let my emotions lead my common sense.
I look over at max who is now sitting beside me in the sand listening, patiently waiting until I throw his stick again. "Cameron's right max." I scratch his ears. "Damon wouldn't want me to go back to work this soon, he would want me safe, well actually more than anything he would want me safe, and I would have fought with him about it too." I look down at him. "Just don't tell Cameron I said that." I smile. Nevertheless, he had no right to bring up Damon. I grab the stick and throw it out into the water, max follows soon after to fetch it. I see storm clouds rolling in, I know I'm going to have to go back and face Cameron soon. I need to tell Cameron that Damon is a no-go subject for me, period! I call max back over; he runs up from the water soaking wet and immediately jumps on me. "Max no!" I yell, but it's too late, I'm covered in wet sand laughing. "Let's go get cleaned up." I make my way back up to the house max following close behind.
I grab a towel from the bathroom and clean max off. When I'm finished, I start upstairs to get some clean clothes on when I hear Cameron in his study. I pause on the first step and let out a long breath leaning my head back. Best to face him now then later. I think. I don't like fighting and I especially don't like prolonging a fight. I walk the familiar hall to Cameron's study. When I reach the door, I take a deep breath and knock. "Come in." I walk inside the room and find Cameron sitting at a big mahogany desk covered in paperwork and books, he sets his laptop down when he sees me. "Hi." I whisper waving my hand. "Hi." He smiles. I walk over to the edge of his desk and lean against the side. "I'm sorry." I begin. "No love." He interrupts. "I'm the one who's sorry." He stands and comes around the desk to where I'm leaning against it. I look up at him. "It was wrong of me to try to use Damon to get you to do what I want." He brushes the hair back from my face. "I promise to never do that again." I sigh in relief letting my shoulders sag. He understands without me having to say a single word.
I lean into his touch and close my eyes. "I appreciate that, but I've decided to wait a little while longer before I return to work, they did tell me to take as long as I needed, so there's no rush." Cameron tilts my chin up. "Look at me." My eyes immediately find his. "Ambrosia, I want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy." He slowly takes his thumb and gently brushes away a falling tear. "Why are you crying." I drop my eyes. "Ambrosia look at me." "Cameron, I haven't had someone care for me like this since my husband, give me time." He smiles down at me. "Take all the time you need love." I give him a weak smile. "Like I said." I shrug my shoulder. "Broken pieces." Cameron leans in, his right hand grasps the back of my neck, I lift my chin silently giving him permission to kiss me, he closes the distance, and our lips meet.
Fireworks explode, and heat races through my blood all rushing to the core between my legs. He's gentle at first, I lean into his kiss, silently begging for more, he senses it and thrusts his tongue into my mouth. I let out a soft moan. He grabs a handful of my hair and pulls my head back allowing him easier access. Goosebumps ripple across my body in response to the slight pain in my scalp, my body humming for release, only Cameron can give me. I take whatever he gives. I slid up onto his desk, never breaking contact and wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer to where I really want him to be. I can feel his erection through his jeans and my thin cotton pants. He pushes his groin into me, and another moan escapes my lips. He continues to stroke his tongue with mine taking me to a softer, needier place. Suddenly Cameron breaks away from our kiss, I see storm clouds in his emerald eyes like the ones I saw outside, he leans his forehead against mine, and for a second we only hear our labored breathing. Every part of my body burning for more, my heart thunders in my chest. I can tell Cameron feels the same. "Ambrosia." He lifts his head from mine. "I think we should stop."
"You don't want this?" He smiles. "Ambrosia." His emerald eyes burn into mine; I can still feel the heat radiating off our bodies. "Of course I do, I want you so much it hurts, but I don't want you to regret this, us." He motions his fingers between us. "in the morning." Apart of me hates that he cares so much about how I will feel in the morning, but the other part of me knows he's right. I might be ready to try a new relationship but, I don't think I'm ready for this, even though every fiber of my body is screaming yes! I grab the sides of his face with both hands and smile.
"Thank you Cameron." His eyebrows shoot up. "Well, I wasn't expecting you to thank me, actually I was really hoping you tell me you wanted to keep going." Giggling I give him a peck on the lips then slide off his desk and walk out of his office without another word. He doesn't follow me. I don't think he'll be able to stop if I stay. I lick my lips. I know I won't. As soon as I'm in the bathroom I lean against the door and sink to the ground. I rest my forehead on my knees, I know what happened in Cameron's office I wanted, bad, and I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to hide from my feelings for Cameron for long. I haven't felt that electricity shoot through my body since Damon. It feels right. I'm happy Cameron stopped us from going further, I need time to clear my head, but damn him for being so considerate. Squeezing my eyes shut I feel a headache coming on. I get up and turn on the shower.
An hour later I finally step out of the bathroom, the hot water felt so good I lost track of time. The room is dark the only light coming from a small lamp on the nightstand, Cameron is already in bed. He has papers scattered everywhere around him, and max is lying by his feet, his tail starts to wag as I come closer. I lean down to scratch his belly. "Who's a good boy?" I ask him in that ridiculous voice. "I'm a good boy." I hear Cameron murmur. "Where's my belly rub?" He asks in the most serious voice. "No." I say as I walk around to get into bed. "You had your chance, you're a bad boy!" I move the covers over and slide into bed. He leans over and whispers. "One day I just may let you find out exactly how much of a bad boy I really am." He gives me a wink. "Well, maybe one day I'll rub your belly." I wink back. Cameron throws his head back and laughs. "I can't wait."
I start to rub my temples on both sides, my headache is coming back full force. "Are you okay?" Cameron asks. "Actually, do you think you could get me a glass of water and my prescription Dr. Reese prescribed me today?" I continue to keep my eyes closed, still rubbing my temples. "Yeah of course, I'll be right back." Two minutes later Cameron comes back in with my prescription and a glass of water. I take them from him and pop two in my mouth and down the glass of water. Cameron continues to work as I lay down. I watch him work for a little bit, but suddenly start to feel dizzy and lightheaded, I try to reach for the pill bottle to read the side effects but my body doesn't move and sleep soon pulls me under.
I wake up to find max laying on top of me again. I give his head a rub and wiggle from beneath him, sitting up I look over to Cameron's side of the bed, I see a white piece of paper on top of his pillow.
"Ambrosia I left for work already, I didn't want to wake you, call me if you need anything, I'm not to far away. P.S. DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE!
I let out a laugh. I grab my phone off the nightstand and walk over to the bathroom. "Not allowed to leave the house huh!" I say to max. I sit down on the toilet and dial his office number. A young women picks up after one ring. "Van Morrison law office how can I help you?" "Hello, may I please speak with Cameron Gramm?" "He's in a meeting, can I take a message?" She asks politely. "Yes, will you please have him call Ambrosia when he has a chance?" "Ambrosia White?" She asks quickly. "Umm yes." I say surprised how she knew my name. "Hold please." She puts the phone down before I can say anything else. Less than a minute later I hear Cameron's voice. "Ambrosia Is everything okay?" "Yes, you weirdo." I giggle. "Weirdo?" He repeats. "Yes, you didn't have to interrupt your meeting, I was just calling to tell you that max is a very unhappy dog right now since I can't take him out to go to the bathroom. I guess I've been forbidden to leave the house per your note." He laughs at first then lets out a long breath. "I hate that I had to come into the office today." "Cameron I'm fine, and I'm glad you went back to work I'll be going back to work soon too, then what are you going to do?" I ask him. He's silent for a minute. "Well, I was hoping you wouldn't go back to work." My light mood fading as I let out a long sigh. "Cameron, we already had this discussion, I'm not having it again." I rub my temple feeling another headache coming on. "I just wanted to call you to give you a hard time and to let you know I will be taking max out to do his business." I can hear him smiling on the other end of the line. "You wanted to talk to me." He says. I don't want to but damn him, a smile breaks out on my face. "Okay Cameron I'm hanging up now goodbye." "Wait." He says. "What?" "What are you doing right now?" I smile again. "I'm lying in bed." I lie. "Ambrosia, you're a very bad liar." "What me?" I foreign innocence. "Are you in the bathroom, thinking of me." "Goodbye Cameron." I hang up, still giggling.
I finish up in the bathroom and head downstairs with max on my side the whole time. I'm about to reach the bottom step when I hear max start to growl making me freeze instantly. I feel all the blood rush from my head and settle in the pit of my stomach. Slowly I peek around the corner to the living room, but I don't see anything, max is still beside me the hairs on the back of his neck are standing straight up. My heart is beating so hard, all I can think about is how I wish Cameron didn't go to work today. I slowly work my way to the kitchen careful not to make any noise when I hear someone rummaging around. As I'm about to look around the corner to see who it is Cameron's mother pops her head around and we nearly run into each other.
We both scream and back away, Cameron's mother is holding her chest and breathing hard, I'm mimicking her. "Ambrosia dear." she says after she catches her breath. "Mrs. Gramm!" I stand up and hug her. She doesn't hug me back right away, I think she startled by my actions. "Thank goodness it's just you." I release her and let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to startle you, Cameron told me you would be here alone so he asked me to drop by to help out with anything I can." I smile at her. "Thank you, Mrs. Gramm." "Please call me Harriet. Would you like some tea?" Her voice is caring and motherly that warms my heart. "That sounds wonderful."
She finishes making the tea and joins me at the kitchen table. "Here you go dear." She hands me a foam green mug. I grab the milk and sugar and pour some in my cup. I hear Mrs. Gramm chuckle. I look up at her. "What?" I ask. "Cameron takes his tea the same way." She says. "Really? I don't think I've meet anybody else who puts milk and sugar in their tea?" "Well." She smiles warmly at me. "Now you have." "I guess so." I smile back. "So, I'm assuming Cameron told you about me?" I ask. "Yes, he did mention a couple things." Her eyes glace at the bruising on the side of my face. "I hope you don't mind dear, me and my son are very close." "No, of course not." I lie. "Good."
We sit in silence for a few minutes until I can't take it anymore. "How are you feeling?" I ask hoping to spark a conversation. "I'm feeling well thanks for asking." "Good." I nod my head. "How are you feeling?" Her eyes find mine. "Much better thanks, Cameron is taking good care of me." I catch her staring at the bruises on my face for another moment. "The bruises are healing but you can still plainly see them." I gently touch my face. She realizes I noticed her starring and takes a sip of her tea. "When my son called me and asked if I could stop by, I was a little surprised to hear that you were here, do you live close by?" "Actually I live two houses down." I set my cup down. "So Cameron didn't mention to you why I was staying here?" I ask. "He didn't go into details, just that you needed help and that you were alone." I chuckle. "Well that's putting it nicely, I was attacked at work." "Oh dear." She covers her mouth. "I'm sorry to hear that." I'm fine now and he's in jail." I shrug.
"If you don't mind me asking who was he?" I debate on telling her that it was Doctor Brice. "One of the doctors I worked with." "Oh my it was Doctor Brice wasn't it." She looks up at me and I can't hold back my surprised expression. "Yes, how did you know that?" I shake my head. "That man sent me bad vibes, the way he looked at you, it didn't sit right with me, Cameron noticed too, I don't think I've ever seen my son worry about someone else he barely knew so much." I didn't think anybody else noticed how creepy he was. I think to myself. "He really likes you." She continues. "I think I really like him too." I say taking another sip of my tea. Her face lights up. "I know dear." "You do, how?" "Well, you can practically feel the electricity in the air when you two are near each other, also you seemed in quite a hurry to leave the room before he came back when you were assisting me for my surgery." I laugh. "Sorry about that." She waves her hand through the air. "Don't be sorry dear, I'm happy my son has finally found someone." Her last comment startles me for a second, I know I'm giving dating a try, but she says it like we're getting married tomorrow. I start to say something about it when I hear max bark by the back door. "Oops, I forgot to take max out. Would you like to walk with me?" She smiles. "I would love too."
"Harriet this smells amazing!" I pull the homemade Lasagna out of the oven. I have been really enjoying Mrs. Gramm's company all day, it amazes me how comfortable I feel around her, just like I do with Cameron. I smile over at her. "Now I know where your son gets his cooking skills from." She laughs. "That sweet of you to say dear." She continues to toss the salad. Who knew it was really simple to make lasagna I walk up next to her and grabs the plates to set the table. I turn to her before I do. "Thank you Harriet." "For what dear?" She asks. "I just wanted to say, I appreciate you coming and spending time with me today, I can't believe it's already five thirty." She turns and gives me a a warm smile. "And thank you for having me."
We slip into casual conversation and finish getting dinner ready. Our conversation is mostly about Cameron, I love hearing about his childhood, she talks about her son the way I think a loving mother would. I sense Cameron before I see him. Turing around I see him leaning against the door frame to the kitchen, his light brown hair looks mussed up like he's been running his hands through it all day. He's staring at me. I smile over at him wondering how long he has been standing there. He slowly walks towards me I stand there frozen in place, watching him and despite his mother being in the same room, heat races through me, he notices and smiles satisfactory.
My back is against the counter when he reaches me, he wraps me in a warm embrace and inhales deeply, like he can't live another moment without me. He pulls back and brushes his lips against mine. "Hi." He says just inches from my lips, the heat from his breath sends goosebumps rippling across my skin. How does this man have so much effect on me? I hear Cameron's mother clear her throat, Cameron smiles down at me then turns to his mother who's gleaming with happiness, I'm not sure why she's so happy but I put it on the back burner and stay in the present. "Hey mom." Cameron walks over and hugs her. "Smells delicious, what's for dinner?" Harriet laughs. "Lasagna." She gives him a warm smile. "Mm mm my favorite." he rubs his hands together. We all sit down and start to eat. "So?" Cameron looks between both of us. "Did you ladies have fun talking about me all day?" Harriet's eyes meet mine. I smile at her then turn to Cameron. "Wouldn't you like to know." "Yes." His mother adds. "It's none of your business." Cameron lifts his hands in the air. "Okay, okay, you two can have your secrets." We both look at Cameron then each other and burst out laughing.
After dinner Cameron and his mom head to the living room. I insisted on cleaning, so I could have a moment to myself, but mainly so Cameron and his mom could spend some time together. Cameron's been by my side practically nonstop since the attack, so I'm glad they can have a little time together. His mother didn't have to tell me they were really close, I could tell from our conversations we've had today and the way only a loving mother could talk of her son. I finish in the kitchen and head over into the living room. As I get closer, I can hear them talking, I stop just short of the archway that leads into the living room and lean against the wall.
"She's very beautiful honey, but I can tell she's hurting, she is holding things back, just give her time to open up." "I am mom, I don't know what it is about her but ever since I first laid eyes on her, I've had this overwhelming need to be with her and protect her." I feel warm all over hearing him say that. I smile inwardly. "Oh honey, I have a feeling I know." She lowers her voice; I can't make out what she's telling him. I realize I'm ease dropping again so I decide to interrupt them. As I turn the corner Mrs. Gramm is hugging Cameron. She sees me and releases him. "Well, Ambrosia I had a very lovely time with you today." She smiles warmly at me, the same way she has all day. I walk over to her and she wraps me in a hug. "I did too thank you." I hug her back. When we release each other she turns, and Cameron walks her out. A couple moments later Cameron returns. I look over the couch where I'm sitting and smile at him. He smiles back then walks over to me and sits down. We don't say anything. I lean my head against his shoulder and drift off into sleep.