"I want to live in the deepest parts of your mind where all the bad thoughts are so I can stop them like a dreamcatcher before you feel them."
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•Kyle•
It's been a few hours since we got home and Rae has been quiet ever since we left the police station. I took a day off from work to stay with her but I couldn't be able to distract her.
We're on the couch, and I'm lying down with my head rested on her lap. She's absently running her fingers through my hair, and we've been quiet for a while.
The doorbell suddenly rings, and I get up to open the door. She barely moves. It's Trevor and Jess as I expected.
"Where's Rae?" is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.
I motion to the living room, and she rushes to Rae while I greet Trevor with a quick hug.
We walk into the living room and see them hugging each other while standing next to the couch. Rae hasn't shed a single tear after she cried this morning before we went to the police station, but I know the pain she feels won't lessen any time soon.
"I wanted to come right away when you told me yesterday, but Jess wasn't home and it was too dark when she got back..." Trevor explains to me.
Jess pulls away as soon as she hears this, and Rae sits back on the couch.
"Wait, he knew?" Jess asks, glancing at Trevor.
"Kyle called me last night," he tells her quietly.
"You knew about this, and you waited 'till now to tell me?"
"You were drunk, Jessica." He uses her full name like he always does when he's annoyed at her.
"What about this morning then, huh?"
"You slept in."
"Oh really? I didn't know that. Thanks for informing me, Trev."
"We're here for Rae. Don't start now," Trevor warns, irritated.
"I'm not starting anything, it's all your fault. You pick a fight with me every chance you get!"
"Are you fucking kidding me right now? I'm the one picking a fight every chance I get?"
She throws her hands up in the air as if saying it's obvious, and he keeps quiet.
"Why am I even trying so hard to make you understand when you clearly don't want to," she mutters, shaking her head. "God I'm so dumb."
"Well, can't argue on that," he spits.
"Oh yeah? Argue with this, asshole!" She swings her fist to his face, but he's quick enough to catch it.
Jess can be violent at times, and it's understandable because she became that way after spending three years of her life in a bad environment. The Jess I knew for the first fifteen years of her life was the sweetest girl ever, and wouldn't lay a finger on any living thing let alone her boyfriend. But I know deep down her heart is still pure.
"Are you guys gonna start this now?" I say calmly, and guilt flashes across their faces as they glance at me.
Trevor lets go of her hand and she steps back. "Sorry," they say in unison and glance at each other again.
Jess walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rae. She leans on her shoulder and holds her hand which has been resting on her lap. "It's okay, Rae. You've been through a lot. You'll get through this too, okay?"
"Okay," Rae says in a hoarse voice, and I suddenly remember that she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.
"Rae, change your clothes while I go make you something to eat, okay?" I say to her as I walk to the kitchen.
She answers me but I'm already in the kitchen so I can barely hear her words.
Trevor walks into the kitchen a few seconds later. "She's saying she doesn't feel like eating anything. Go talk to her."
I go back to the living room and Jess stands up so I can sit in her place. Rae doesn't even look up at me as I sit beside her, and I gently hold her hand.
"You hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and it's almost 3:00 now. Please."
She shakes her head no, and I reach out to put my palm on the other side of her cheek. I gently turn her face to mine and look into her eyes. "Rae, please."
"I just don't have the appetite for it," she croaks out. "You eat first and I'll have dinner later."
I don't push her further because I know how stubborn she can be. There's no changing her mind once she decides against something.
"Okay, just take a nap if you feel tired."
She nods and I go into the kitchen to make it seem like I'm about to have lunch. But I know I won't be able to eat while she's feeling like this.
* * *
It's dark by the time Jess and Trevor leave. They had been giving each other the silent treatment ever since that argument, but I hope they would sort it out on the way back home. I never worry too much because I know they'll make up on their own like usual. It's like a routine now.
We all had dinner together before they left, but Rae didn't eat much. I'm scared for her. Many things could be revealed as the investigation progresses, and I'm scared that the more we find out the more she'll get hurt by it.
The air is getting chilly outside and I quickly close the windows I forgot about. Rae is still on the couch so I go into the bedroom and grab a blanket from the bed. I sit next to her and wrap it around us. She rests her head on my shoulder and we just sit there in silence like we had done all day.
Feeling some sort of liquid drop onto my arm, I look at her. She's quietly crying, and I feel my heart sink.
"Did you know that you steal the covers from me every night?" I randomly say after a few minutes.
She sniffs and looks up at me. "I do?"
"Every. Damn. Night."
She laughs through her tears, and the tightening in my chest that stayed with me all day lessens by a bit.
"Really? You never told me."
"Would it have made a difference if I did?" I chuckle.
"No, but we could've used two blankets. One for me, and one for you."
"I don't think I would've liked that."
She laughs again while drying her eyes. A few minutes pass and she lifts her head up.
"Do you think..." She hesitates while biting her lip. "Do you think it was someone I knew? My dad used to bring some of his co workers for dinner sometimes... maybe one of them is the one who-- who did it."
"Don't think like that. Don't torture yourself imagining who had done it. The police will do their job and we'll find out, but please, I don't want you to torture yourself like this."
"I just can't believe--" She pauses to hold her tears back. I know her well enough to know how much she hates crying. She sees it as a weakness and she doesn't want to be weak anymore. "I can't believe someone did this to them on purpose. That someone did this to me on purpose. Why would they want to hurt us like this? Mom and dad were good people, Kyle. If you knew them you would be amazed by how kind they were. I'm sure they wouldn't have done something so bad that someone would want to murder them. That's not something you'd do to someone who you had a simple fight with. What in the world could they have done to deserve that punishment?"
I keep quiet because I know she doesn't expect an answer. She just needs to let it all out, and I only have to listen and be there for her.
"And the investigators, I can't believe they had covered it up like that. They must've gotten bribed-- and that means the murderer was either rich or powerful. Or both. And the man who reported this, I can't stop wondering who he is. Why did he suddenly decide to uncover the lie after all this time?"
I've been wondering the same thing ever since detective Ericson mentioned it. All we can do is wait, and everything will be revealed in time.