"Miss Potter, will you stay after class?" Severus asked. I nodded, and I cleared my cauldron. I walked into his office after class, and he shut the door.
"Let me start off with that you aren't in trouble with me, in any case," Severus said. "This is about your mother."
I groaned. "I swear, she deserved what she got."
"I might agree with you, Alice," Severus said evenly. "If it weren't for your last remark towards her."
"Wait, that?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest, and my left leg over my right.
"Have you seen your mother at all after you said that?" He asked.
"I don't have Alchemy until the afternoons," I admitted.
"She's been crying all morning over the fact that you told her that you wished that the Dark Lord had killed you when you were just a baby," he told me. I stared at my lap, and guilt surged up, but I tried to swallow it back down. I don't owe her anything.
"Why would you say something like that, Alice?" Severus asked.
"I'm sick of it!" I protested. "I'm sick of being the devil within, of being the girl who can't compete, the girl who has no path! You've seen what she's become- she doesn't give a damn about me."
"Listen to me, Alice," Severus said. "You don't know your mother like I do-" I raised my eyebrow at this "- and I remember that she was so excited that she was going to have twins instead of just Harry. Do you know what she said?"
I shook my head. I'd never heard this story before.
"She said, 'I hear two hearts beating to ours, James. We can be the Skywalkers!'" Severus quoted.
I rolled my eyes at the Star Wars reference. I didn't hate it, I actually liked it quite a bit, but I wasn't totally obsessed with it, like my parents used to be, I'd heard.
"She wanted you so badly, Alice," he continued. "Both of you. It was the press and the fame that changed all of that."
"Well, the past doesn't matter anymore," I said, feeling tears welling up. "She doesn't want the daughter she has now, and it's just too late to make amends."
"You can't hold grudges, Alice," he said now quite firmly.
"To hell I can't," I replied, standing up. "They started me down this road, the only one I've ever known, and I'm gonna live and die there!"
"Calm down, I'm just trying to help!" Severus said.
"I'm done calming down!" I yelled. "I'm done pretending the problem doesn't exist, and that my parents are so good, so right, never calling them out on their crap! I'm done living the way I do, in constant competition for attention and love, by either doing something great, and being told off for showing Harry up, or punished for doing something dark! When is anyone going to get it?"
"Alice," he began, but I turned around, and stormed out of his office. I might have to pay for it later, but I don't care. I stormed up into Alchemy, and sat down at the Potions-style desks.
"Right, Sev did say you'd be late," Mum said. I merely stared up her, and I was surprised at what I saw. Her hair was hanging like drapes over her face, and her eyes were red, her cheeks wet with tears, as well as her robes.
Guilt surged up again. Who are you to be feeling guilty for her? She's the one who's treated you like the spawn of Satan the past thirteen years. Why should I feel bad for her?
"Free period," she sniffled. Most of the kids shrugged their professor crying off, and turned around to talk. "Alice, could you come here?" She asked.
I set down my bag. Stay strong. I walked up to her, and the first thing she did was hug me.
"Mum?" I asked, trying to break away. She started sobbing violently, and I squirmed out of her arms. "What's wrong?"
She conjured a handkerchief, and blew her nose loudly enough that the whole class jumped and watched her nervously. She gulped, and finally looked at me with red-rimmed versions of the eyes I inherited. "I just can't believe that you'd've rather died, than lived to grow up the way we've raised you."
I sighed, and crossed my arms over my chest. "Mum, in all honesty, if you'd treated me the same way as you did Harry, we wouldn't be having this discussion." I said.
She sobbed a little more. "I know, I know," she murmured. "Now, when I look back- but you just don't understand, how addicting fame is, Alice."
I raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" The entire class went silent. "You think I haven't noticed? You think that I don't see it in your face every day, hear it in your voice? I remember, trust me," I said bitterly.
"Alice, shh," Mum said quickly, looking at the students. "Would you mind stepping into my office, please?"
I stifled a groan, folded my arms over my chest, and followed her moodily into her office, where only framed pictures of Harry hung.
"Alice, I-I-" Mum said, shaking her shoulders.
"Save it." I snapped, turning away, so I wouldn't be tempted by pity. "You've gone your way, and I've gone mine."
"Alice, I'm not trying to be the enemy," she huffed, exasperated. I turned around, and she stepped back, afraid. "Alice."
"You say you aren't trying to be the enemy," I said, my voice uncharacteristically high. "Yet when I discovered that I was a Parselmouth, you instantly called me evil. I haven't forgotten that, Mother, and I never will."
Mum laughed a nervous, fearful laughter. "Alice, that was just one time!" Her voice was to the point of screaming. She gripped onto her desk even more desperately.
"Last night, I saw the look you threw me, I remember what you say about my friends, my house, how I dress!" I shouted. "Well, I'm through! I'm not letting all that fly unchecked, because it doesn't fly with me! You've gone way too far, too many times! I want to fly, NO! Harry wants to- sure! I want to get some mother-daughter bonding time, you're too busy! Harry wants to talk, you shove everything off of your desk, and don't you dare tell me it's the times I do it, because that happens way too many times for it to be just a coincidence!"
"Alice, please!" She closed her eyes, bracing herself. I stopped, and turned to the mirror in her office. My eyes had a maniac glint in them, tinted slightly red, and there were balls of wispy shadows in my hands. My scar was showing, glowing red. Even I was afraid of my reflection, as it raged for a second, and then diminished, right before my eyes.
"What was that?" Mum asked.
"I don't know." I said, as I turned to leave the office.
"Alice?" She called timidly. I froze. "I-I-I-"
"Save it."