Apples and Snakes

Only Selfish Enough to Live

"Are you going to talk to me now?" Emrys asked as he encountered me in the library.

"Why are you so insistent on that, Emrys?" I asked, as I pulled a book off of the shelf.

"One, feel free to call me Ky. Two, I just felt sorry for you-"

"Whoa, wait, sorry?" I said incredulously. "Emrys, I don't need anybody feeling sorry for me."

"Ky. And excuse me for giving you sympathy, princess. I thought that that's what you've been wanting this whole time," he shot back.

"What do you mean, 'what I've been wanting?'" I asked.

"I saw you around school, princess. You were always begging for attention, and not getting treated like poo because you weren't the Chosen One. I think you might've brought that one on yourself, though-"

"Excuse me?" My eyebrows were definitely in my bangs at that point. "I brought that on myself? Excuse me for being outcast for being a Parselmouth, excuse me for someone putting my name in the Goblet of Fire. I might have a pity-worthy backstory, but that's not entirely what I want. I want to be respected and known for my own abilities, not my brother."

"But you still want some pity," Ky said.

"It's necessary for anybody to give me a chance that isn't related to my brother," I said with a shrug.

"Wesley Diggory and Hayden Fanning didn't pity you," he reminded me.

"Don't remind me," I snapped, as I twisted my ring.

"Do you miss him?" He asked softly.

"Who?" I snapped. If it's Diggory, I'm going to bash someone's brains out, and it's not mine-

"Your twin," Ky said, as if it should be obvious.

"No." I snorted. "He's so not missing me, and I can't say the feeling isn't mutual."

"But he's your twin," he said, as if I said that I liked drinking blood. "Twins are supposed to be special."

I snorted. "Which fantasy novel did you read that one out of?"

I'd heard the twin thing so many times, it wasn't even slightly amusing anymore. Harry and I never had telekinesis, or any of that bonding crap that even the Healers always talked about. Mum and Dad were a bit sad that we'd never unlocked that type of bond, but I didn't mind. We never needed to be any more special than we already were.

"I have a twin," Ky said.

"Wait, what?" He looked at me.

"I have a twin," he repeated calmly.

"And I thought you'd been reading T*witches," I said in amazement.

"Nope," he said, and his face lit up. "Do you want to see a picture?"

I nodded. He smiled shyly, and took a muggle photograph out of his pocket.

"I always prefer non-magical photography," he said, looking left, then right, checking for any particularly nosy guards. He passed me one of what had to be him at the Yule Ball. With him was a girl his age and a boy about my age.

The girl had the same Roman nose, and a similar elongated heart-shape for the face, as well as dark hair that was in a bun at the nape of her neck. She was wearing a beautiful white cotton dress that was billowy that enhanced her bronzed skin tone and dark eyes. She seemed cold but beautiful.

The boy with them also had a nose and eyes in common, but his jawline was longer, and his face shape more ovular, and his hair was more curly, like Ky's. He wore ice blue robes that suited him, although they were slightly disheveled.

"She's beautiful," I said, and I handed him back the photograph.

"Thanks. Rhys means everything to me. She came with me into this world, and I don't think I'll ever even begin to forget that. We've got a psychic bond, you see."

"Rhys?" I asked.

"Yep. Mother liked interesting names," he said.

"You have a little brother?" I asked.

"Yeah, Lux. If Rhys and I care anything for each other, we care about twice as much for Lux. You know what I mean?" Ky said.

"No," I said. "I walk a lonely road."

"And you said you didn't want sympathy," he replied, making a tsk-tsk sound.

"I don't need sympathy," I argued.

"Never said you did. I just said that you want it," he chuckled.

"Are you going to always be this aggravating?" I asked, eying him defiantly.

"As long as it gets results with you, princess," he said with a smirk.

"Stop calling me that!" I protested. "I'm not a princess of any sort!"

"Sure thing, princess," he said.

I shoved the book back, and looked him straight in the eyes. "You think that's funny, don't you?" I then made to leave, not even bothering with an answer. I was only a few steps away when his gloved hand gripped my upper arm, stopping me in my tracks.

"I'm sorry, okay," he said, looking around nervously. "I just want to be able to trust someone."

"You're in the wrong place if you're looking for trust," I said bitterly.

"Don't you get it?" The look in his gray eyes was getting dangerous. I began to reach for my wand. "I'm not here for the ideology, or even because I want to go dark. It's the only way I can keep my twin and my brother from getting killed by the Death Eaters for not knowing who their dad was and having a single mom who had the wrong blood."

I looked at him with a newfound respect. And an idea. "So you're afraid."

"Well, aren't you?" There was a slightly crazed look, too. What if something here is manipulating us? Making us feel an emotion that drives us the most to dark places... For me, that would be anger, and maybe for Ky it's fear...

"No, I'm not. I want to live and all, but when it comes down to it, there are much scarier things out there than Voldemort, like realizing that you've changed too much, that you've become the monster. Voldemort doesn't scare me in the sense that it does you. I have a healthy amount of fear, just enough to keep me selfish enough to live," I said.

He shook his head. "You're fearless."

"No, I'm courageous. There's a big difference. I don't dwell on my fears. My anger, though, that's a different story altogether," I said.

"Anger?" Ky said.

"Grudges. Revenge. Wrath. Things I have problems with. Catch my drift?" I said.

"I think I got it," Ky said with a nod, and he let go of my arm.

I exited the room quietly, and I could've sworn that I'd heard laughter in this hopeless place.