It was the worst experience of Raj's life. The way his mother cried as he told her the truth was heartbreaking beyond anything he had experienced. He wished he was never born to see this much pain in her eyes. Anna and Jai had stayed with him through the entire thing and then Anna had stayed with Raj's mother to make sure she was okay. Anna herself wasn't feeling well, but she had to remain strong for Raj and his mother. She couldn't be selfish and think about her pain only. Jai had gone home, promising he would return early next morning. He didn't like leaving Anna there, but he didn't feel it was right to be jealous at this moment.
That night, After Anna had called her parents and told them what was happening and informed them that she needed to stay with Raj's mum; she went to Raj's room.
"So are we still on for the dance lesson on Monday?" She was trying to make him feel better, distract him.
"If you are up for it, I'm up for it" He said smiling. The light in his room was hitting her face, and it made her shine – like an angel. His heart skipped a beat – but now he knew and she wouldn't come anywhere near him with any offers like previously. He laughed to himself – it was never meant to be.
She walked closer to his desk. He was filling out some forms and stopped writing. She leaned on the desk and looked him in the eyes. She then reached out and brushed her fingers through his hair, taking her time to enjoy it. He grabbed her hand and stopped her midway.
"Anna, what?"
"So this is why your not good for me?" She asked gently
"hmmm" He didn't know what to say.
"What if I was okay with it?"
"I would never let you settle for something like this" he raised his voice.
"What If it's not settling? What if I want this?"
"You don't know what you want – your too clouded by what you THINK is love"
"Raj! You're being so impossible!"
"I'm only looking out for you! Jai is better for you"
"Don't try to push me onto someone else – if you don't want to, just say so – but don't do what your doing now"
"I just want you to be happy"
She took her hand from his and gently stroked his cheek.
"I'm happy, being with you"
"You'll be happy for what? Maximum three or four months!"
"Then don't waste my time, Give me the happiness I'm looking for"
"I don't –"
"I'm a big girl Raj, I know what I'm getting into and I'm doing it out of my own free will" She lowered her face to his and kissed his cheek gently. He was finding it very hard to stay in control, he didn't want to hurt her.
"Please Anna, It will hurt you in the end"
"Then let it hurt, let it consume me – I don't care. I have months with you and I will take the chance" She kissed his jaw line and went lower to his neck. He stopped her and took her face in his hands. He looked straight into her eyes and saw moisture around them. She was on the verge of tears. He couldn't resist her anymore. He pulled her closer so she was sitting on his desk now, staring into his eyes. He slowly kissed her cheek and moved down her neck. She shivered.
"Raj" His mother called out. Anna suddenly jumped up from the desk and ran out of the room. Raj laughed silently and got up.
"Yes?" He called out as he walked out of his room. Anna was leaning on the hallway wall breathing heavily. She looked shocked and he couldn't suppress a chuckle. He walked toward the kitchen and found the table full of food.
"Wow! Maa! Why did you cook so much?"
"Because...." A tear fell from her eye and she brushed it aside. "Just come and eat, let me feed you"
She got a plate and piled it with the food she had cooked; she then sat herself down and gestured for Raj to sit next to her. Anna watched from the hallway and she fed him lovingly and she couldn't help shedding a tear for them. If she felt like this, how would a mother feel? She thought.
She went to the guest room and sat down heaving a huge sigh. She had time with him and she would use it. She loved him and that's all that mattered for now. He would leave this world, happy.
Suddenly her phone vibrated. A new message, from Jai was flashing on the screen.
"Hey Anna. How's Raj? I know you two are probably together now. Just remember how much I care for you okay? Be happy"
She sighed, feeling a pang as she remembered Jai. She knew he loved her, and she was sure she didn't return his feelings – but hadn't she promised to try? She felt stuck in between.