Chapter 7

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Anna banged on Raj's door. His parent's car wasn't at home but she saw his was parked in front of the house. Why wasn't he responding? She felt so guilty and frustrated. Suddenly the door opened and there stood Raj drenched in water. She didn't look, she didn't think – she launched herself into his arms.

"Hey hey Anna! You'll get yourself wet!" He tried to push her off. But she held on tighter. He was topless and water was dripping down his entire body from his wet hair. The water fell on her and soaked parts of her top but she didn't care. She cried and cried into his chest. He started to worry.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently as he pulled his arms around her holding her securely. He felt her warmth and was overwhelmed by desire. He allowed one of his arms to slide up her back and onto her head.

"Anna, please talk to me" He pleaded, but she kept crying. She didn't have the strength to look at him. She felt as if she had betrayed him and couldn't face him. The warmth of his body radiated against her and she felt herself pushing herself harder against him. How could she make it up to Raj? She had given her first kiss away to another man when she loved this one. No, that wasn't her first kiss – she was in denial, she could remedy this situation.
Without any warning she lifted her head off his chest and looked up at him. The rush of emotion she felt for him overtook her and she longed even more for what she was planning on doing. He looked into her golden eyes and felt himself melting. He wanted her so much at that point but the concern he had for her was stronger. Why was she crying?

"Anna tell me what's wrong" He held her chin as she lowered her gaze, forcing her to keep looking into his eyes. She lifted herself up and to his shock pressed her lips against his and started kissing him frantically. He immediately pushed her away.

"Anna!!" He said feeling a mixture of shock and confusion. She cried harder pushing herself off him and moving back.

"I'm sorry Raj" She said hardly able to look at him.

"What's wrong? Why did you do that?"

She cried harder and moved back further. "I wanted to give you my first kiss Raj...." As she said it she ran. She seemed so distraught that he couldn't let her run away like that. He got into his car and pursued her. He pulled up in front of her and got out.

"Stop and get in the car" He said more severely than he had intended.

"Raj don't talk to me like that" she said angrily through tears.

"Please get into the car" He said it more gently and opened the front door. She complied. She was tired and felt mentally drained. It was dark now and she was afraid of being a lone out on the road.

They drove for sometime before Raj decided to talk to Anna.

"What happened? Tell me..." He said stiffly.

"No" She replied flatly.

"Anna please?"

"Raj I can't tell you"

"Why did you....what made you?"

She knew what he was referring to. The answer wasn't simple – Her guilt, her desire for him to be the first, everything held up inside her heart had prompted the kiss. How could she tell him any of it? Where could she begin? Feeling a little self conscious she asked a different sort of question from him.

"You didn't like it?" She worried that Raj didn't love her the way she loved him. She felt ashamed that she had forced herself upon him. She felt horrible and started crying again.

"Anna! Please don't cry – It wasn't that I didn't like it....." How could he answer without hurting her "It came out of no where, I'm just confused"

"Raj, I'm confused too" She replied wiping her tears. "I'm sorry about what I did"

"Its okay, just leave it now. Everything is okay – we'll forget it ok?"

"Raj – I can't....I did something bad" She didn't know why she was telling him this.

"If you want to tell me, I'm listening" he replied feeling tired all of a sudden.

"I kissed Jai back" She blurted out.

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