Katsuki's POV:
I quickly stand up and look at myself. But wait, I feel good, healthy. I feel awesome.
Like there are no problems at all. I smile, but then it hits me like a truck and I feel all of my emotions rush to my head. I remember all the bad stuff about myself.
I look down at me? On the floor? What the fuck, but I'm standing up. I look around and see Mr. Aizawa with another guy.
He's looking at us and shaking his head. I look at me on the floor. The me on the floor gets up slowly.
"Bakugo," the me that's standing up asks.
I stare at the other me. "What the fuck? How am I talking to me? I'm me. Who the fuck- IcyHot?" I ask coming to a realization.
I look at my arms and legs. My shirt is tucked in and I don't feel the burning of my cuts on my wrist or the scratchy feeling of my throat.
He's going to find out about everything.
He's going to know.
I look back at Mr. Aizawa quickly. I run up to him.
"Change us back. Please change us back. This is not okay. Please I'll do anything. I'm sorry," I say.
My voice isn't mine and honestly that freaks me out the most. I sound so close to breaking down but it's not my voice.
Mr. Aizawa just looks at me shocked. Todoroki, in my body, comes up to us and he looks in pain.
"My throat hurts and so do my arms. I'm starving," he says. I look at him in shock.
I don't know what to do. What do I do? How can we switch back? If he stays in my body for longer, then he'd realize everything.
"Mr. Aizawa switch us back already please," I beg. He shakes his head.
He looks at the guy that's with him and that guy starts talking.
"Hey I'm Hoku. My quirk is switching people's bodies. Not very cool, I know. You guys start of with the other's feelings, mentally and emotionally for about a minute at most. Let's say a really confident guy switches bodies with a self conscious one. That real confident guy will feel like shit for the first few seconds. Then they'll go back to feeling like themselves," this Hoku guy starts explaining.
"But! After 4 hours, the person starts inheriting their feelings. So, this really cool guy, will start becoming more and more self conscious because he's in the other guy's body and that's what the guy always thinks of himself. When I do this, the length of time the two people have in each other's bodies is a week. I can't undo it, sorry," he says.
I fall to the ground. "No, this can't be happening," I say. It sounds weird because it's not my voice.
He's going to find out everything. I get up and start running for some reason. I run into the school. I want to go home. I want to go to sleep. It felt great at first. I felt free, but that feeling went away almost as quickly as it came to me. I felt how Todoroki feels everyday.
Normal.
I run into the restrooms and close the door behind me and start breathing hard. Too hard. I walk around the restrooms, trying to calm myself down. I grab onto the walls and the stalls as I breathe irregularly. I fall to the ground and curl my feet up to my chest as I start crying and then the door opens.
It's Todoroki, in my body. I hate this. He runs towards me. "Hey, hey Bakugo. Calm down, it'll be fine," he says as he reaches out to me. It's weird seeing myself trying to comfort me. Ugh this is so confusing. He sits me up and he winces a little. He tries to clear his throat, but he looks pained. "Jeez, do you have a cold or something? I swear my wrists really burn and my throat does too," he says as he goes to scratch the cuts that he doesn't know are there. I quickly stop his arm from reaching his wrists. He looks at me weirdly and I look down.
He pulls my hand away and takes off the blazer quickly. Then he takes off the button shirt. He looks at the body he's in, my body. He gasps when he sees the cuts. "Bakugo. Y-you do this to yourself? Why? You're great. You think you're great. I don't get it," he asks. I pick my knees up and hide my face in between them. He rubs my back soothingy and I keep crying. "Bakugo, why?" I sniffle. "I don't want to talk about it. Soon enough you'll understand. That guy said that around tomorrow we'd be feeling like the person who's body we're in. I'm sorry you'll have to take on all of that," I say. "I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I'm sorry for starting that fight. I'm sorry," I say.
I can't stop crying. This is all too much for me. I want to sleep. I want to go home. "I just want to go home," I say. "Okay, lets go to your house. Are your parents home?" I shake my head no. He pats my back for me to get up. He takes out his arm to help me get up and I take it. He puts the shirt and blazer back on before grabbing the bags on the floor. He brought both of ours. He walks to the door and it's so crazy that I'm looking at myself do stuff.
We walk silently as tears just keep streaming down my face. When we finally get to my house, we walk to my room and I throw myself on the bed. "Okay, do you want to tell our parents," he asks. I shake my head no. "My parents would just send me to another mental clinic after I switched back," I tell him. He sighs. "Okay well then I have to know your relationship with your parents and stuff. Like how you are towards them, what you tell them about, how you get along, what you usually say or do, and stuff like that," he says. I nod and sit up. I look down at the floor.
"Okay so me and my parents don't really talk. They text me to see if I've eaten, taken my meds, or to tell me that they're staying at work late. When we do talk, I'm my aggressive old self. I call my mom old hag or old lady and my dad is just dad, pops, or old man. It doesn't matter what you call him, as long as it's one of those three. They're going to be gone sometime this week. They were going to tell me the details about it tomorrow during breakfast, but now I guess they're telling you," I say. He nods. "You have to take my meds in the morning though. They don't usually last all day, so if you're going to be out later than 6, then take one more of each. I also have therapy on Wednesday, so you'll have to go to that," I finish.
He nods and sits down next to me. "You're telling me this stuff like it's easy to say. It's not, so you don't have to act like it is. Anyways, my family life is normal. My dad is a jerk who only cares about beating All Might. My relationship with my siblings is normal. I don't really talk to them, but when I do, it's cool. I don't usually hang out with them but my life is pretty cool. I have lots of money so I can go to the movies whenever I want, go to the store whenever I want, and so many other things. It's kinda lonely cause I have no one to spend my money with or on, but I like my life. Also, I visit my mom sometimes at the hospital. She's not sick or anything, my dad just put her there when she gave me my scar. It wasn't her fault though. I mean she did throw the boiling water on my face, but it was because my left side reminded her of my dad. My dad is an ass," he says.
I laugh a bit. He looks very uncomfortable though. "These cuts hurt. I'm going to clean and treat them. Also my throat hurts a lot, what do you do to make that happen?" I quickly look away form him. "I don't want to talk about it. This sucks. I never wanted anyone in class to know. I hate this and I hate everything. Fuck fuck fuck," I yell. He just stands there, shocked. "Why am I telling you all this? You could literally go out right now and show everyone the cuts on my body," I say. He leans down to look at me. It must be just as weird for him as it is for me. We're looking at our own faces. I can't stand looking at myself though. I know it's Todoroki in there, but I hate my body.
"I won't tell anyone about anything. Okay? It's okay to tell me about your feelings. I know this is weird. It's so fucking weird. But Mr. Aizawa did this to make us closer. We're always fighting, so maybe this will help us," he says. I shake my head. "It's just going to make you feel how bad I feel all the time. I'm so sorry, I didn't know anyone else would feel as bad as I do. I'm sorry," I say again. "Hey stop worrying about it. You could use a week to take a break. This week you'll feel fine. I'll take on your sadness for a week. I can do it. Just don't worry about it," he says. The way he's using my voice, it sounds genuine. I just nod. I'm sure I can trust him.
I get up. "Okay, thank you. As long as you take the meds, you'll be okay. Just don't forget to take them or everything will be too much," I tell him. "I feel like taking one of each right now, but Aizawa said that by tomorrow morning, we're going to start taking on the mental stability of the person's body we're in. How are you? Mentally?" He just shrugs. "I'm good I guess? I don't have any mental issues and I'm pretty content with my life. It'll be fine," he says. I nod. "Ugh I'm hungry dude, let's eat," he says. I shake my head. "Nope! I'm on a diet, I need to get into shape and I can't have you ruining my body."
He just looks at me before asking,"Are you serious?" I nod. He clears his throat and winces. "Do you have medicine? I think I have a sore throat. This burns," he says. I just go to my dresser and take out a cough drop. It won't help, but whatever. I hand it to him anyway and he takes it before popping it in his mouth. "Let's go eat," he says. I nod hesitantly and we head downstairs. As we're checking the fridge for food I say, "I'm staying here. I want to stay home, I'll go to your house tomorrow. Is that okay?" He just answers me from inside the pantry. "Um yeah, you can actually stay all weekend. Well if it's okay with your parents to have someone over," he says.
I tell him to hand me my phone and he asks for his. We swap phones and I text my dad.
Me: Hey is it okay if a friend from school stays over this weekend?
7:06
Dad👌🖤: Yeah sure
7:07
I look up and I give Todoroki a thumbs up. He just nods and says, "I told my sister I was staying over at a friends this weekend and she said it was cool. I nod and he groans. "How the fuck are you so hungry," he asks me. I shrug. "I guess it's the diet. I was fine," I tell him. I remember about the chicken from the fridge and take it out. It's already cooked at seasoned, we just have to reheat it to make it into something else or just cut it up and put it in a salad. "There's chicken. You're eating a salad. Are you on any diet I should follow?" He just shakes his head. "Okay well I guess I'll just eat a salad too. It's easier."
We finish making our salads and I wash the dishes as he serves the ice and water. He sits down at the table with our plates and forks. It's weird seeing my body move around and do stuff that I'm not telling it to. I'm not in my body. Ugh I don't like this at all. I rinse off the soap and then out them on the drying rack before going to sit down. "Okay so how bad is your mental state? Anything I should prepare myself for?" I widen my eyes and then take a bite of a forkful of lettuce and chicken. He takes a bite and sighs in relief. "I swear I have no idea how you just went about your day on an empty stomach," he tells me. I just shrug.
He motions for me to tell him about my mental state. I sigh and start playing with the food. "Okay so I have anxiety and depression. I was diagnosed about two weeks ago when my parents took me to the hospital after they found out I was cutting myself. They did tests and concluded that I needed psychological help. They sent me to a shrink and they prescribed me with medication because I have severe anxiety and mild depression. Without the meds, which I've only been taking for a week, I'm always on edge and I constantly feel like crap. It's kind of a lot, but with the meds, my anxiety is not that high. It's still pretty up there and the meds don't work very well. My depression is almost fully suppressed which is good, it's just the anxiety that's hard to hide. I also have a problem with my temper. It has to do with my depression. I don't know how it's connected, but it is. It's frustrating and this week will be hard for you," I tell him.
He nods and then he says, "Okay so now for our quirks. On Friday we're still going to be switched. I don't know how to use your quirk, but I'm sure Mr. Aizawa will have safety measures for that. Also, do you want to tell the class that we've switched bodies?" I shake my head. "No, lets not tell them. I also have to know how you act towards Deku and the others." He nods. "I don't really talk. I'm pretty much quiet and only put in my opinion when I feel like it. It's fun though. We should just try to avoid being alone with other people when we're like this. It's only for a week so it won't be that hard," he tells me.
"Yeah, sounds okay to me. Also you have to call me IcyHot, Half'n'Half, or Canadian flag when you want to talk to me and I'll call you Bakugo. Is that cool," I ask him and he just nods. We both finish and I sigh heavily. I just can't wait to stop feeling like myself. "I'm tired," he says. I nod and say, "Well I haven't been able to sleep for months. You should sleep while you're still thinking like you so that my body can actually get sleep," I say. He nods and we head upstairs. "It's only 8 but we should sleep anyways, tomorrow is going to be a long say since you probably won't know how to handle all of your, well my, emotions," I tell him.
He nods and yawns. "Wait, I want to wrap the cuts and clean them. They hurt and moving around under blankets will hurt a lot," he says as he looks for the restroom. I motion for the door in front of mine and he walks in. I follow and he looks under the sink. He takes out a first aid kit and takes out the gauze and some bacteria cleaning medicine. He takes off the blazer and the shirt. He winces when he sees the deep cuts. There's quite a lot and I do admit they hurt a lot. He cleans them and wraps them as I go to get clothes from my room. I catch a glimpse of myself from my mirror and I freak out for a bit before remembering that I'm not in my own body even though I was just looking at Todoroki in my body.
I grab a pair of joggers and a long sleeve and hand them to Todoroki. He takes them and smiles before I leave the restroom, closing the door behind me, so that he can change. I go into my room and close the door so that I can change too. I quickly get rid of the uniform and put on a T-shirt and joggers. I put the uniform in my dirty laundry and I hear a knock on my door. I go to open it and let Todoroki in. He walks in and looks at the bed. I look at it too and he looks at me. "It's weird. I'm looking at myself," I say. He laughs and I do too. "So um am I sleeping on the bed or are you?" I look at him and motion for him to sleep on the bed. "My parents would think it's weird if they walked in and thought I was nice enough to let someone else sleep on my bed. It's better if you do," I tell him.
He nods. "Well it's a king sized bed. I'm sure we'd both fit. We can both sleep on the bed but we'll sleep head to feet," he offers. He looks at me waiting for me to agree. I just nod. I get in first so that if he has a nightmare or panic attack he can just get off the bed easily. I know that walking around and pacing is something that I do when I have a panic attack. I don't know how he'll react to one. When we get under the covers, I decided to say something. "Um Todoroki?" He hums.
I take a deep breath and I start talking. "Okay so um I have nightmares too. You might get one and if you wake up, it'll be hard to go back to sleep because you might have a panic attack. I'll probably wake up, so don't worry." He sits up and looks at me. "Really? How bad are they?" I shrug. "I don't know. It depends on the severity of the dream. When you wake up in the middle of the night, I'll give you one of each pill. After a while, it'll calm you down and you might be able to sleep after about an hour. I'll help you though," I tell him. He nods and lies back down. He sighs heavily and turns to lie down on his stomach. "Goodnight Bakugo," he tells me. "Goodnight," I say back. It comes out as a mere whisper though.
After a while I hear even breaths coming from Todoroki. He's in my body, but he's still Todoroki. I can't sleep. I'm too anxious. It'll go away once we start getting each other's traits. We switched at around 5 and it's 8, almost 9. I get nervous, thinking about Todoroki waking up in a cold sweat and gasping for air in my body. I hate this. He's going to hate being me. I rub my eyes, hard. I stop because this isn't my body. I shouldn't go around hurting it. It's a very nice body too if I'm being honest. Wait no. This guy sucks. It's Todoroki. The Half'n'Half bastard. I can't be thinking this. It's not good.
He's my rival. He's just strong. Yeah, just strong and his muscles are big. I go to touch them and my eyes widen. Wow his muscles are big. I pull my hand away from Todoroki's bicep and groan at how stupid I'm being. I cover my face with my hands and laugh slightly. I'm so stupid what am I doing? I turn on my side and try to fall asleep. After what seems like an hour, I start dozing off.
~~~~~
Someone shakes my arm and when I wake up I see myself with wide eyes and a sweaty face. I get scared before remembering that me and Todoroki switched bodies. Fuck, we switched bodies. He gets out of the bed and starts pacing the room. I feel weirdly calm but scared for Todoroki. He just keeps pacing the room and shakes his hands like crazy. "Calm down calm down. Stop thinking," he says out loud. I go over to him but stop before I actually reach him. "Hey, Todoroki. I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder," I say. He nods, still shaking and breathing irregularly.
I touch his, well my, arm, and rub it back and forth. I hug him and he hugs me back. He's still breathing really hard and shaking like crazy. I feel my shoulder get wet and I pull away quickly. He's crying. He starts grabbing at his shirt over his heart. I go over to my drawer and grab the glass of water on it. I go back to him and hand it to him. Drinking water helps a lot. He takes it and starts drinking. He finishes it after a while and I see that he's calmed down. He's still really shaken up though and he can't stop grabbing at his shirt. He sits on the floor and starts rocking back and forth.
"Hey, Todoroki stand up with me," I say. He looks up and I take out my hand. He takes it and stands in front of me, shaking his hands back and forth in front of his chest, trying to calm himself down. "Put your feet flat on the floor. Then go over something out loud. Like the steps to something or list things like animals or something," I tell him. He nods and does what I say. He starts murmuring something. "Water, salt, noodles, drain, dashi, serve. Water, salt, noodles, drain, dashi, serve. Water, salt, noodles, drain, dashi, serve." He whispers over and over. I nod and hug him.
I hug him tightly. He hugs me back just as tight and in a while his breathing events out after repeating those words over and over. He sighs heavily and pulls away. He wipes the tears away and looks at me. "Wow. That sucked," he told me. I nod. "Yeah, sorry you had to go through that," I apologize. He shakes his head quickly. "No, I'm sorry you have to go through that. You go through this stuff by yourself right? That's not okay. You should have someone and at least you were here to guide me through it," he tells me. I just shrug. "It's nothing. Here, take these," I say as I hand him two pills. He nods and grabs them. I take out a water bottle from my drawer and hand it to him. He grabs it and takes the pills.
"What were you repeating to yourself anyway?" He laughs a bit. "Um how to make soba," he tells me. I laugh. "You really like soba right?" He nods. I get in the bed and then he does. I start dozing off pretty easily when he says, "Um Bakugo. This might be a weird thing to ask, but can you hug me? I know, you're going to be hugging your own body and I'll be getting hugged by my body. I'm just still shaky and I feel like being hugged, even if it's by my own body, ugh that's weird to say." I get up and switch over to his side.
"Don't worry about it. I know the feeling," I say calmly, referring to the needed to be hugged part. He nods and turns around so his back is facing me. I wrap my arm around him and hold him close. This is weird. I'm hugging my own body. Ugh what is this quirk!? I hear him sigh and he starts falling asleep. I make sure he's really asleep before I try going to sleep. I know how tiring it is and honestly, I wish I had someone to hold me as I'm having a panic attack. I want to be held and stuff. Right now I feel pretty great. I don't feel anxious and I don't hate myself. It's weird but I like this feeling. I haven't felt like this since like elementary. Then all of a sudden around middle school, I was hit with depression and anxiety.
It sucks because nothing even happened to me to get this way. It's not like I was bullied or abused. I just got sad and it was really bad. Then the anxiety came in and everything got worse. It's not like my parents beat me or starved me to become like this. I hate it. For now though, I'm going to try and take advantage of the fact that I feel okay. I feel normal and I'll help Todoroki through this week because I know what it's like to want help. The only difference is that I'll actually be able to give him that help.
***
Word Count: 4296
Hiiiii!! Ahh omg I really really really really missed writing. It's just so great and yeah. Sorry if this chapter was confusing. Did you get confused??? I don't know but I'm sorry if you did. School sucks and I'm sick rn. Well, anyways, I'm going to have the same updating schedule as me other fanfic so every Tuesday and Friday. Let me know what you guys think of it and thank you guys for reading this. I love you all <3