If I Were Allowed To Love You

By jackson_terrance

3.9K 468 73

Since Melissa was born, she's never missed her aim. No matter where she aims one of her daggers or knives, sh... More

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Fifteen

74 8 1
By jackson_terrance

Melissa twirled the silver blade in her hand, running her fingers over the encrusted black diamonds on the handle as she watched her father pace in front of her. Lucas sat in his cousin's car outside, waiting for her to come out and tell him what the final decision would be. She wanted to join the circus. She wanted to help her father. If this was the only way she could, then she'd happily do so.

Her father stood by the sink, fixing himself a mug of tea. "No," he stated.

"Why not?"

"School comes first. You need to graduate from high school, and if this is what you'll still want to do with your life, then I'll support you. But you are finishing high school first."

"I don't know if I'll be able to."

"You're going to graduate."

"I'm at a sixty percent right now in Literature. I don't think I'll be passing any time soon. Summer school is looking more and more like a reality, and we cannot afford it. Not with where we're at financially."

"We'll figure something out."

"I have." She walked up to her dad and placed her hands on his shoulders. Gently coaxing him away from the sink, she led him to the kitchen table and sat down with him. "Please, just hear me out."



Ryan dragged the dead rogue back to the woods, allowing his neighborhood watch patrol to take care of the rest of the scene. Lifeless red eyes stared up at him as he pounced away, running back to his house. The moment he stood on his lawn, he shifted before walking inside. Theo stood by the door, holding out his clothes from the car.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to help out."

Ryan grabbed his shoulder and kissed the top of his head. "You're still working on strengthening your wolf. You did the right thing by calling me."

"But what about your date?"

"I'll head over to her place and talk to her."

"And tell her what?"

Ryan stopped unfolding his shirt as he went to put it on. What was he supposed to say to her? He left their date and claimed to have a family emergency. She'd wonder if everything was okay with Theo and his parents. They were all fine, as his parents didn't shift anymore unless it was for a wolf ceremony. Theo just turned eighteen, so he was in the midst of growing accustomed to his wolf. He needed to be trained before doing any combat. And with the rogues creeping close to their home, it was his job as head of the house to take care of his family and keep them safe. He was needed at home to protect them. Staying with his mate was not an option while she was currently safe.

"We need to come up with a story," he answered, slipping his shirt on over his head. "We could always say mom passed out and needed to be taken to the hospital. And since I had the car, I needed to take her."

"She'd wonder why we didn't call an ambulance."

"Saving money?"

"She's seen the house," he deadpanned. "She'd think we're cheap and get pissed off."

"Okay, we'll say a pipe burst and that I needed to-"

"Mechanic. Or plumber."

Ryan groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Panic attack? Someone had a panic attack?"

"Or you could tell her the truth."



"If I can make a successful show, I can make big money."

"This sounds more like gambling to me," he scoffed.

"It is," she admitted. "There will be some gambling, but I won't miss. I don't miss. It'll all be harmless and in the circus. I'm not going to any bars and meeting up with shady men. It's merely a fun way to win some money. People will bet on me or against me. Either or. I think it could be a lot of fun."

Taking his daughters hands in his own, her father shook his head. "This is a dangerous world you are about to head into. I don't know if you are ready for this."

"Honestly, I don't either," she sighed, slumping her cheek into her hand. "The problem is that we don't have many options. I've been studying really hard, you know that. I've been working my ass off, and yet I am still barely making it in Literature. If I need to take summer school, then there isn't going to be much of an option left for us. We can't afford the class, and we cannot afford to start saving. At this point, I'll need to drop out and then get a GED once I can afford it."

"We can find a way-"

"Dad," she whispered as she placed her hand over his. His head shot up, staring at her with misty eyes. "You know this is our best option. And I'm looking forward to it, too. I'm excited. This is going to be a grand opportunity for me to show off my talent. No one will ever dare try to fuck with me." She squeezed his hand tighter, forcing out a meek, "Please."



"You know I can't-"

"You don't have to mention mates and the bond or anything," Theo added. "Just tell her that we're werewolves and that it's a secret. Let her know there was an attack, and after the two of you begin to grow closer to one another, then you can tell her about the mate bond and how you two are mates."

Telling her was an anxious thought. What if she was afraid of werewolves? What if she was biased to mythical creatures? He didn't know how he would be able to change her mind, but he knew she would eventually come around. How far away that day was, he didn't know. But he knew they were made for one another. She was his mate. Eventually she would get over her biases and be okay with it.

But what if it wasn't the bias that was the problem but rather the fact she already knew about mates in the first place. She knew about the bond, and once she found out, she'd feel an obligation to love him without actually loving him to begin with. He didn't want her feelings to feel forced. When they'd come, they'd come naturally. He was prepared for it to.

"What if she doesn't accept me?"

"She's a strong advocate for our kind. She's very accepting. That's not going to be a problem for you."

"But what if she doesn't accept me?"

"There's only one way to find out."



Her father hung his head and ran a hand over his face. "I want to meet him. If he's out there now, bring him in here, I want to meet him."

Melissa walked to the door and noticed Lucas perk up. She gestured for him to come inside. He turned off his car, exited, and walked inside the trailer. He smiled at her father, who sat at the kitchen table with a large sulk. "Hello, Mr. Duff. I'm Lucas Carmichael."

"You're the circus boy who does trapeze," he nodded. He pointed to a vacant chair. "Sit down."

Quickly pulling out the chair, Lucas sat down beside Melissa. He folded his hands in front of him and smiled kindly. "I can assure you, sir, that Melissa will be in good hands with my circus. It's been run by my family for the past two decades. I trust everyone I work with. And once they see her throw a knife, no one would even think about trying to pull anything on her."

As tough as he tried to appear, her father let out a small smile as he stared at his daughter. "She is tough, isn't she?"

"You know I am, sir," she agreed with a smile.

"But why Melissa?"

"I will admit, sir, I didn't think she would take my offer seriously," he sheepishly replied. He scratched the back of his neck. "After meeting her at my cousin's party, I did want to work with her sometime, but I never thought we actually would. However, what turned into a joke that I assumed she would consider sometime after she graduated turned into a serious conversation about how she wanted to join now to help you. I tried to talk her out of it-"

"Why would she need to be talked out of it?"

"Because she has a life her with you. She's almost about to graduate-"

"Which may not happen," she interjected.

He rolled his eyes. "Doesn't mean it's set in stone." He turned back to her father. "I just wanted to make sure she was really thinking this through, and it seems she has. If she wants to join, we will happily accept her. And if she wants to come back home, I will make sure she comes back safely. I promise."



Ryan parked on the side of the road. From what Melissa said, he didn't want to risk driving down the steep hill down to her trailer. And taking the walk down allowed him to gather his thoughts and properly think it all through. He was about to tell her what he was. And based on what Theo said about her father, he knew he was going to have to find a way to prevent him from listening in. Maybe take her outside. He'd show her his eyes, have them glow with his back to the trailer. Then she'd know without saying anything, and he could gain her forgiveness. And then he could kiss her cheek as an apology for leaving their date.

He stood on the front steps, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door. He heard shuffling on the other end. The door opened with a tired, older man standing in front of him. His peppered hair fell in damp curls on his forehead. The bags under his green eyes were heavy. His body looked weak and frail, as though he was about to break. But he raised a questioning eyebrow and asked, "May I help you?"

Ryan cleared his throat and said, "I was hoping to talk to Melissa. Is she home?"

The man sighed and shook his head. "She left five minutes ago."

"Oh. Do you know when she'll be back?"

"Couple 'a weeks. Couple of months at the latest."

"I'm sorry?" he questioned.

"She left and joined the circus."

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