Today was a new day. Today was a new day. I kept repeating that phrase in my head over and over again as we entered yet another venue. Life was starting to feel normal again. I think as my hormone levels went back to normal I felt more myself. Ryleigh was still a little skeptical. Jack was following me and keeping a close eye on me along with everyone else. I told Alex about not taking my antidepressants then taking the new prescription of medication. Alex was a mix of confusion and being really supportive of my decision.
I, Ryleigh and Lisa all hung out while she was here. Beckett and I went out once as friends. He told me all about Kolbi's new friends and how she was doing. That lead to the conversation I didn't know how to handle at the moment. It was the first time I ever talked about miscarrying to anyone. It was awkward because no matter what Beckett said it didn't make me feel better or the situation any better.
The boys had an interview today and that was something they were all looking forward. Ryleigh and I had one as well but they were at different times. Today was an interview day at the venue. There we multiple people we were going to be interviewed by. Dad also had interviews today. I knew I was supposed to go sit in on a few of his interviews. I knew a few were more like radio interviews than video interviews so I didn't have to change for my interviews.
"I love you," Jack whispered in my ear as I finished putting my contacts in.
"You too," I said back as he placed his hands on either side of my hips draping them softly there before kissing my head.
"Today is going to be so long I will barely see you!" Jack whined as Rian chuckled.
"Whipped," Zack said as Ryleigh smacked them both upside the head.
"You forget I never see my girlfriend. I hardly have time to," Rian said as he shoved Ryleigh's hand lightly toward Zack.
"You can fix that," Ryleigh and I said at the same time while high-fiving one another.
"Why do they always-" Rian pointed to us but was cut off by my dad.
"Ryleigh Rowan and Logan Blake! You got an interview in 5 minutes!" He shouted as I grabbed my shoes from Jack kissing him.
"We all have an interview together later. I will see you then!" Jack shouted as I ran to the venue shoeless.
Ryleigh and I were set in the stands to do the interview it was weird sitting in fan seats. It wasn't weird in the way that we were privileged to know we could sit up close to the stage. It was weird because we are always on the stage or doing interviews in the green room or by catering.
"I am Alice here with Ryleigh Dun and Logan Urie. Hello, girls, it's nice to meet you!" Alice said as we were both holding microphones.
"You too," Ryleigh said as I nodded.
"So you two are the opening act for this whole tour. There has been some speculation that after this tour you will be taking time away from music and away from each other. Can either of you feed into this speculation?" Alice said and looked up from a notecard.
"Lo do you want to answer this?" Ry asked me and I thought for a moment before speaking.
"I don't think we will ever take time away from music. We are an opening act for the first band to play. I think it's just nice to have a break and allow ourselves that time to rest and recover. I don't think anyone knows how much recovery is really needed. We literally like drink gallons of Gatorade and Pedalite backstage to stay hydrated. I mean I love what I am doing right now. I can't see myself stepping away but I am not really the voice of our, band." I shrugged and looked at Ryleigh.
"I don't see myself stepping away either. I think we are going to take some time off and see what we come up with. We were very blessed to be offered a record deal to make music and while it's awesome. It has always been my dream to make music. There is this fear that I think we both have of not ever doing enough to show how grateful we are for everyone." Ryleigh spoke and I nodded along.
"Thanks for shutting down that rumor then. So it is very likely we will see you playing together more shows may be your own?" She said and we both giggled.
"Yeah, maybe one day." Ryleigh giggled out.
"Okay, this is for Logan. There is a rumor going around that you are dating a certain member of a band that we are on your with. We will just shut down the rumors you are not dating Brendon Urie because you are his child if anyone doesn't know that. So are you willing to tell us whom you are dating if so? Also, how is it being Brendon's child?" The interviewer spoke so clearly and it felt like it was so quick.
"Um, being his child is cool. It's really chill like my family is really these people we are touring with. Like, it's crazy really I don't even know how to explain this mess of people we have right now. Being his child is really rad though because people don't get to see the really chill side of my dad. They don't get to see the 'oh shit you're sick let me take care of you' side of my dad. Like I wish everyone did because he is such a good down to earth person. To answer the dating one though um I don't know if I want to give light to that rumor right yet. I will say this if you know, you know." I said cracking a smile as Jack appeared behind the interviewer sticking his tongue out at me.
I stuck my tongue out back at him causing the interviewer to turn around.
"Oh look the man of the hour come to join maybe you can answer the rumor," Alice spoke while Jack walked over sitting in between Ryleigh and me.
"What is the question?" Jack asked while Ryleigh looked at him.
"Who you dating Barakat?" Ry looked at him as Jack out of habit rested a hand on my knee.
"Logan didn't answer it," Jack chuckled while I smiled shaking my head no.
"So the rumor is true," Alice said smiling.
"Yes, the rumor is true. I am dating Jack Barakat from All Time Low. Ryleigh is dating Zachary Merrick who let me tell you if he wakes me up one more day at 4 in the morning may be dead," I said half-heartedly chuckling and ducking my head into Jack's side.
"They are so cute," Ryleigh said and I flipped her off.
"Okay, we'll I gotta go Alex is gonna come and crash this interview if I don't so bye!" Jack drew out the 'e' and I rolled my eyes as we waved bye to him.
"Ryleigh this is for you. What is it like being Josh Dun's younger sister and being a singer and not a drummer?" Alice said.
As we answer what felt like the hundredth question we were finally heading toward our last interview. I was on my own team which made me sad. We were split into teams. Dad, Ryleigh, and Alex on a team. Dan and Rian were another. Nicole and Zack were a team. That left Jack and Mike as a team. I was on my own little island as we didn't have the stage set up yet and we're playing a game in this interview.
"Okay seeing as everyone has a team but little Urie over there," Drew, the final interviewer spoke while a camera was pointed at me.
"We are going to play a game of answer the trivia questions. Each team will send one person forward unless you are Logan then you are on your own. The team or person with the most correct answers at the end of the questions wins." The game was finally explained while everyone sent someone toward the line.
"Name a game that is played around the world by foot."
I quickly scribbled the word onto the whiteboard I was given. Everyone turned around the boards when we were told each earning a point for our teams no one hand any wrong yet. Soon it was a tie game between the drummers, the singers, and myself. Our bassist friends were like what the fuck is this while, Mike and Jack, pretty much after the first round didn't know any answers.
"Okay, the final question is a US government question. There have been how many presidents to die on this holiday."
I scribbled down my answer keeping it toward my chest to not show other teams. I rocked back and forth on my feet as I looked at the teams to discuss this as I smiled. The seconds counted down as the bell went off signaling they had to have an answer to submit. We turned our boards around while I laughed at what the singers wrote.
"What the fuck," Rian said while Dan just laughed hysterically along with the other two teams.
"Okay, so there is a correct answer listed," Drew said and Rian looked at his board and my board.
Rian and Dan had written Memorial day and 2 presidents. The singers, Alex, Ryleigh, and my dad wrote, fuck history. I had written what are 3 presidents and July 4. I even wrote the presidents in order of positioning.
"Congrats on winning our useless trivia game... Drum roll please," Drew said and we all began to drum on our legs.
"Logan Urie!" Drew shouted and the drummers pouted.
"How does she know this!" Alex said as dad shrugged.
"Logan is a book of useless knowledge though. She knows that the lethal limit for drinking bleach is like 43 cups for her body weight for Jack is about 52 because of how toxic bleach is and what it does in your body. Trust me she gave us a speech one night about it," Ryleigh said and I accepted my trophy bowing to my non-teammates.
"Kiss my ass losers," I remarked at their bitterness as they had lost.
As we left the interview. I was called back by Alex and my dad. I was called away from everyone though I smiled and had a bounce in my step. Jack tried to hang back while they just moved me further away. I was finally in a different room where the door was shut. I looked at Alex and my dad as they pulled up the sleeves of my hoodie. Looking at me with a deep fear in their eyes I looked back at them with a burning desire. I looked at their faces and turned my head away before pulling down my sleeves and walking out of the room. I walked past Jack making him spin on his heels.
"Hey where are you-" Jack spoke.
"I don't know ask your friend and my dad who feel like anytime I have a good day they can't just be happy for me. It has to be about my past! They always just- everyone just assumes that I am cutting again or doing something. No one is fucking accepting the fact I am wearing baggy clothes because I feel disgusting. Like!" I held the trophy close to my chest as my breathing became heavy.
"I'm not- come here," Jack took a step forward and wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"It's gonna be okay. They are just scared of everything that happened. Alex asked me today and I showed him. They are just scared because we lost the baby and today would have been the day we would have announced it unless we did it another way." Jack said speaking into the top of my head as I cried into his chest.
I then heard the click and beep of signaling someone had stopped recording and Alice came out holding a microphone to our faces wanting to know more. I began to feel like I couldn't breathe as I just did what I knew best. I screamed at the top of my lungs, I knew it would draw someone other than Jack near and it would get the dumb bitch to stop recording. Little did I know how much one voice recording could bring so much of my history forward.
In a sinking ship, I would swim you to shore. In a night sky, I wish upon the star that is yours. In a world of people, my hand is yours.