If I Were Allowed To Love You

By jackson_terrance

3.9K 468 73

Since Melissa was born, she's never missed her aim. No matter where she aims one of her daggers or knives, sh... More

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Thirteen
Fourteen
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Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
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Twenty-One
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Twenty-Five
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Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
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Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Thirty-Five
Thirty-Six
Thirty-Seven
Thirty-Eight
Thirty-Nine
Forty
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Forty-Five
Forty-Six
Forty-Seven
Forty-Eight
Forty-Nine
Fifty

Five

129 11 0
By jackson_terrance

I updated Chapter Four before this one, so be sure to read that one first!

"This is the one nice thing about having a Sunday off for once," Theo stated as he and Ryan walked through the mall together. "We never get to spend time together. We can finally catch up on everything going on in each other's lives."

Ryan chuckled. "How's everything at Riverview?"

Theo groaned. "We have a new anti-bullying policy. It's called 'Don't Bully Other People Or Else Knife Girl Will Stab You.' I swear, ever since she came to school, bullying has gone down immensely. No one dares mess with her, and if anyone gets caught messing with someone else by her, they run away in fear."

"I'm sorry. There's a knife girl at your school?"

"Yes, and she's a sweetheart and angel and my best friend."

"Don't tell me you're getting bullied," Ryan gasped.

"Eh, I was for the first few months freshman year. I didn't have my big brother to protect me since he graduated the year before," he said as he teasingly nudged Ryan's side. "But as this dick pushed me into the lockers, she pulled out a pen and it stabbed his hand. The news spread like wildfire. Everyone has been afraid of her since, but everyone who's ever been bullied befriended her, and now she's like one of our school's guardians. I feel like you two would get along great."

"It'll be a shame for all the other students once she does graduate. Who will protect them then?"

"No, a lot of juniors look up to her and are implementing their own anti-bullying tactics, so I'm pretty sure she just started a movement of people who will become the schools' guardians or some shit for years to come."

"And this all came from a crazy knife girl."

"I never said she was crazy. Only her aim is. She's never misses when she has a target. She doesn't even have to be thinking about it. She just makes it."

"She must be excellent at sports."

"Nope. Hates them. She throws pens, pencils, scissors, anything. But she has special, beloved knives. She's the only student in school who's allowed to have a knife on campus out of the sheer fear that if someone or something comes into the school that could harm everyone, she could run out and chase them and stab them without missing. It adds an extra layer of fear to the bullies that she's going to stab them, but she hates harming people unless there's a reason to. She's incredibly non-violent. It's just the fact that she has skills that makes people fear her. And since that works, she goes along with it."

"I guess being her friend makes your high school life easier now, huh? No bullies for either of you."

"No, we have one. Sabrina. She's just a bitch who has an attitude and says shit behind people's backs. She doesn't have it in her to actually do anything to people, but she gets in trouble all the time by acting out in class. She did once bully a girl in the bathroom, and once Melissa found out, she just stood by the girl's side and stared at Sabrina all day. She was so scared she went home early."

The moment he heard the name Melissa, Ryan zoned out. His mate. Where was she now? What was she doing? There was so many things he wanted to learn about his mate, but the biggest concern was about when he would be able to spend time with her. So long as Alexa was working, he would not be able to talk to her in a very conversational way. While her concerns were justified, it was different because she was his mate. In the end, he knew they would be together forever. He just needed to prove to her why she should give him a chance.

As a human, she had the ability to say yes or no to him. She could go out and find someone new to love, but he would never be able to love another. And having wanted nothing more than to be loved by someone he could love back since he first learned of mates, he wanted to do whatever he could to prove to her why he would never stop loving her.

Even as all those concerns and worries filled his head, his most mind possessing thought was over whether or not she finished her book. He hoped she would not glare the next time she thought of it, instead smile over the fact that Miss Bennet was finally seeing what a loyal man Mr. Darcy truly was. He hoped she no longer saw the prejudices against him, as he was able to do the same for her. And that was what he hoped would happen with her, that she would be able to accept who he was.

"Hey, Ryan," Theo said, snapping his fingers in front of his brother's eyes.

He blinked, glancing at Theo. "What's up?"

"You zoned out as I was answering your question."

"Right, sorry. What were you saying?"

"I was saying Melissa was here-"

"Where?" Ryan exclaimed, excitedly looking around for the blue hair of his mate.

"Relax. She's not going to stab you. Like I said, she hates violence. She doesn't do anything unless it's necessary."

Ryan's heart sank, remembering they weren't talking about his mate. Theo noticed the change and asked, "Were you hoping to get stabbed?"

Ryan laughed. "No. No. It's just..."

"What? Spit it out," Theo impatiently demanded.

Covering his mouth to hide his smile, he replied, "I met my mate the other day."

"Shut up!" A few people turned to stare at them, but no eyes lingered too long. "When?"

"Friday. She came in after school to read before she headed to work. We had an instant connection, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again. I just don't know when."

Theo sucked in his lips, hoping to contain his smile. He knew it was Melissa, but he wanted it to remain a surprise. "Tell me about her. What book was she reading?"

"'Pride and Prejudice'. She was glaring at it the whole time," he laughed. "She must be incredibly invested."

"Or finding it to be a challenge to understand."

"I guess. But it's not that hard to follow."

"Based on the shift in language and cultural norms from then, I'd say it could be a bit difficult to follow."

"True. I never thought of that."

"Maybe you could teach her," Theo smirked.

Ryan blushed. "No. No. Alexa would kill me. We already had a small flirting moment earlier, and she did not appreciate it since I was on the clock."

"You two flirted?" He was suddenly upset she never texted him about it over the weekend. He wondered if she felt anything towards him or was just teasing him.

"Yes," Ryan smiled. "It was all harmless. She ignited the majority of it, so I was merely reciprocating. But if it was a one-time thing, I'd hate to make her uncomfortable by flirting with her again. I don't want to make her upset by any means."

"I doubt you flirting will upset her. It's meant to be, so it will happen."

"Yes, but she's human. It will take a long time for her to understand and fall in love with me back. And I don't want to tell her about the mate pull just yet, because I don't want her to feel like she has to be with me because of it. I want her to know that I love her and always will, that I will never run away because it would be impossible to. If she's my soulmate, then I'll fight to keep her every day."

"Please do not tell me you love her already," Theo groaned.

"No. No," he chuckled. "I do love her energy, but I am not in love with her. That will take time for me as well, but I know it will happen."

"And if not?"

"Then I guess we're just meant to be friends." But the idea of her being with anyone else hurt. Though he was not in love with her, he knew she was the woman he wanted to spend eternity with. The woman he wanted to marry, to love and be loved back by. She was the woman he had dreamt of for years, and he had no intentions to ever love anyone else if he couldn't have her. And it was all due to the mate pull. No matter what, he'd never be able to get over her.

"Well, you don't have to get all depressed over it. I'm just stating a fact. Human mates...there's never a guarantee that they will be with us forever. All we can do is prove why we're worthy."

"And I intend to, but so long as Alexa is working, I doubt I'll be able to. She sees everything like a hawk."

"Then talk to her on your break or outside of your shift. Be friendly in the meantime, but don't flirt. Honestly, can you blame Alexa for being worried?"

"What's that supposed to mean? I've never flirted with another person in my life before Melissa...at least not intentionally."

"That's not what I meant. I just mean that a lot of women do feel uncomfortable when men try to flirt with them at work, regardless of which party is working. She's looking out for another girl, but I'd think that if you're both consenting to flirt, there's nothing wrong with it. Just makes sure she doesn't catch you."

Ryan sighed. "I'll try. I have no idea on what I'll be able to do."

"Then flirt outside of work."

"How? I don't know if I'm ever going to see her again at the library. How can I think about seeing her anywhere else?"

"Melissa!" Theo sang as he walked up to the unbusy pretzel counter hidden beneath a stairwell. It was located right next to a baseball hat and shoe store.

Glancing up from the fryer, she smiled the moment she spotted him. Stepping up to the counter, she smiled and said, "What can I get you today?"

Theo hummed as he tapped his chin, looking at all the pretzels on display. He turned around to smirk at his brother, he stared back and forth between Melissa and Theo with wide eyes. "What are you in the mood for?"

Melissa looked up at Ryan and smiled politely. As excited as she was to see him, she refused to give off any sort of reaction. She was at work, a time to be professional and work. "Hello, again."

"You two know each other?" Theo asked in mock surprise, and Ryan lightly smacked his back.

"We met at the library on Friday," Ryan replied.

"I told you it would be smart to go," Theo teased.

"I will admit that I did get more of my reading done, but it's not like I made a dent in the damn book," she grumbled.

"Are you not enjoying it?" Ryan asked, pushing his way forward to the front of the counter.

"I can see why people think it's romantic and charming, but I can't understand the old timey language. It's holding me back."

"She's failing Literature because of it."

"Theo," Ryan hissed.

"It's true," she sighed. "Dad's pissed, but he's more mad at himself since he believes he's the reason I'm struggling."

"You know that's not true," Theo stated as he slid his hand across the counter towards her.

She didn't take it, as she knew she would have to wash her hands again in the back the moment she did, and with her being the only person on display while her manager took a bathroom break, she needed to stay present in the front. "You're right. It's because of me."

"That's not true either. Money's tight right now. It won't always be."

"I just need to make it through this section, and then it'll get easier. Miss Cortez said it would be easy to bring my grade up as the year went on. I just need to hold on a little longer."

"I believe in you," Ryan stated.

Theo glanced back at him, and Melissa smiled up at him. "Thank you. You never did say how you two know each other."

"Melissa, this is my older brother, Ryan. He graduated the year before we entered high school."

"Wow," she whispered. "Four years of being friends, and I have yet to meet anyone in your family."

"Not like you have the time," he commented. "But it's not like I've met yours either."

"You do not want to come to my house."

"It's not like I care about where you live-"

Ryan clamped his hand down on Theo's shoulder. As he looked up at him, Ryan shook his head. He understood she must have been embarassed about her financial situation. Her house must not have been much. It didn't matter how close a friend could be, fears were fears. And the embarrassment of one's home could weigh heavily on anyone's shoulders.

"I'll take a cinnamon pretzel, please," he stated as he pulled out his wallet. "Theo?"

"Non-salted."

Melissa wrapped the pretzels up and handed them to the boys after Ryan paid. With the change he had left, he placed it in the tip jar and took a step back. "I hope I'll see you at the library again soon."

"Until this fucking book is done, you'll be seeing me a lot."

"And when you come visit me during your time off," Theo added.

Melissa laughed. "When do I ever have free time?" she asked as she walked back to the fryer.

Theo and Ryan walked away, and he smirked at his older brother. "Told you you'd talk to her outside of the library."

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