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➳ trigger warning
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3rd pov
you were shuddering. the place without sanghyuk was suffocating. it felt like it was closing on you. you sat on one corner, hugged your knees, silently praying for sanghyuk to come back home early. you were sweating, but you didn't care as you cried and cried, your anxiety taking over you. the darkness of the house was talking to you, and as if in the perfect time, the shimmering of the knife, all the way from the kitchen was reaching you.
"sanghyuk-ah, sanghyuk-ah," you mumble all over again, not wanting to hurt yourself, but seeing your feet stand up on its own as it heads to the kitchen.
you reach for the knife, the sharpness blinding you. you turn it over, as it touches the softest part of your stomach, hearing someone chuckle inside you. you continue to cry, reluctant to let go of the knife, still.
"y/n-ah, i'm home.." sanghyuk said as he opens the door, realizing that it was another episode of y/n because of the darkness. he quickly ran to the room, but you weren't seen anywhere so he knew where to look next, the kitchen.
"y/n-ah, y/n-ah," he continuously said as he took the knife away from you, but you were resisting. he gulped as he cupped your face, "y/n-ah, its okay, i'm here already, i'm home." he stares at you with loving eyes, those eyes that weren't soon enough gonna get tired of you, although he's seen your worst days. he smiled at you, those sweet smiles that he doesn't give just to anybody, that only belongs to you.
you just stare at him with brave eyes, gripping on to the knife, put your lips on a thin line. "i'm sorry, i don't deserve you." as you sway your arms high, sanghyuk hugged you and the knife landed on his back.
and everything was normal once again.
as if the anxiety made you another person.
you let go of the knife and it made a clinging sound, sanghyuk coughed as his hug went loose.
"sanghyuk-ah, oh my god, i'm so sorry," you sobbed, you cup his face as you tried to make him sit on the floor. you look at the stab you just made, you close your eyes as you felt hurt all over.
it was all your fault.
"i'm so sorry, i didn't mean it, please, stay with me, i'll call a taxi, we'll go to the hos-" you mumble as he caress your soft face while he looks at you with those eyes again.
the blood just keeps spurting. he still looks at you, as if it was a movie scene. you just cry in his hands, mumbling apologies.
"i love you," he said. you hold his hands that was caressing your face,
"you know i love you the most." you press the stab and helped him stand up.
you pray for a taxi to come and save sanghyuk, and thank god that there was.
the taxi was running fast to the nearest hospital and helped you bring the bloody sanghyuk to the emergency room.
when a doctor checked on him, "will he be fine? was he stabbed at a wrong place?" you keep questioning him with many other questions, as he just chuckled at you.
"y/n." you give him puppy eyes, expectant, "this happened a lot of times. i may even think that sanghyuk's immortal with knives." they both chuckled as i took a deep breath of relief. "just needs some few stitches, didn't reach anything deep." he smiled at me. "may i talk to you in private?" you nodded as he lead the way.
"what is it?" you rub your arms for reassurance as you took another glance of sanghyuk.
"don't take this the offensive way, please." he reached for your arm. "for all these times, i look at you as my younger sister. but don't you think.. you need to be checked?" his eyes looked at you with pity, but you knew he was right.
"maybe, but.."
"you're scared, i know. that's why i got you a very close person to me that you can trust. she's my fiance," he smiled. "so.. will you please take my offer?"
you hugged him, thankful for all the years that he was beside you. he always helped you, and you didn't know how to repay it.
"thank you very much. i promise, i'll repay you for the kindness you've given me." he pats your head, and kisses you forehead.
"the stitches must be done, go." he smiled as he waves at you.
you ran to sanghyuk who was now slowly getting dressed, you see his back, full of stitches as you felt sorry again. you softly touch all of his stitches. your tears not stopping.
"why don't you leave me?" you ask, helping him get dressed. afterwards sitting on the bed with him. he faced me and sighed.
"you know.." he started. "i don't know." he smiled. "when we started, i knew i would get hurt, but didn't know to hurt physically though," he joked as we both chuckled. "but i still love you. i love you with all my heart. even if i have to die." he said.
you sighed, "i love you." you smiled at him. "as an appreciation, i finally accepted the offer." i smiled at him. "i'm getting checked." he smiles so wide that it can even reach the clouds.
"i'm so proud of you," he kisses my forehead, "don't worry, all always be here, beside you."