Rian didn't tell anyone what happened to my hand. I had to come up with a lie about my hand. Zack raised his eyebrow at my lie as I shrugged it off. I took off the wrap for concerts. Before I knew it I was looking at dresses with Ryleigh.
"Oh this would be pretty," Ryleigh said and held out a red wine dress.
I looked at the dress which was actually two pieces the top and then the bottom. My midsection would be visible and I shook my head in a violent 'no'. I looked at the dress and the price tag. Ryleigh rolled her eyes at me and then handed me the dress and pushed me toward the dressing room. I had to admit that it was a cute dress. It looked nice on me as I walked out Ryleigh did a catcall and Lisa's head popped up from the rack of dresses. She had already picked out the boys' outfits as I stood in the doorway of the dressing room. Ryleigh made me turn around doing a spin. The dress wasn't super flowy but was more form-fitting.
"Buy it." Both Lisa and Ryleigh said as I shook my head.
"Then I am buying it for you," Alex said and I looked at him groaning.
'Stop, I don't even want to go.' I signed at Ryleigh.
"Too bad you told Jack you would and he would be so upset," Ry said as I went back in and changed.
I listened to the others converse without me there. I changed back into my light wash skinny jeans and a random t-shirt I had thrown on this morning. It happened to be Mike's shirt which bugged him. I hadn't been feeling well the past few days so I had been signing or writing all my answers for everyone. Mom was going to be right in time for the dinner tonight while I would be getting ready. Lisa promised me I wouldn't have to walk any carpet or anything like the boys would, we would probably meet them inside.
It wasn't until hours later that I got dressed. I got dressed as Lisa was doing Ryleigh's make up. Ryleigh then did Lisa's makeup and I did my own. I kind of wished my mom was here. I was almost finished getting ready when my mom knocked on the door. Dad held a camera around his neck as I rolled my eyes. I rushed barefooted at mom and hugged her.
"Oh, my barefoot child. Come on get your shoes on. Let's go take some pictures," She said and kissed my forehead.
I got my shoes on as my mom greeted everyone. Lisa and my mom started talking about their husbands and how they seem to never age. Ryleigh joined the conversation talking about how sometimes Zack Merrick seemed like an old soul and other times like a twelve-year-old. I think they noticed my absence in the conversations as they tried to pull me in. I shook my head waving at them and walked out into the hallway with a random jacket I had stolen off someone in the crew.
"You cold?" Rian asked and I nodded as he began to take off his suit jacket.
I soon had a suit jacket wrapped around my body. Rian let me button the first few top buttons. I smiled at him as he smiled back at me. He gave me a hug but I didn't want to get too close in fear I'd get makeup on his shirt. He only pulled me in closer though. Rian's girlfriend Laura came over and he wrapped an arm around her waist.
'you look beautiful,' I signed as she looked at Rian for translation.
"She said you look beautiful," He said and then kissed her cheek.
I began to unbutton the suit jacket as Alex walked over rubbing my shoulders. I tilted my head back at him as he made a funny face looking at me. I pointed back toward my hotel room. I was alone for once which was odd. Alex understood what I was trying to tell him as I handed back Rian his suit jacket.
"You sure you're going to be fine?" He asked and I nodded as Laura looked at me smiling as I began to walk toward the stairs.
I took my shoes off as everyone was going to walk down the stairs to get photos taken in the stairwell. I took my shoes off and just ran down the stairs not really into all the mushy shit everyone else was into. This was one of the fairly smaller hotels we stayed in there was only 3 floors. I sat downstairs on one of the sofas waiting for everyone else to come down.
Zack and Ryleigh were the first ones down. I don't even think they noticed my presence as they began discussing where they should sit so the others know where they are. I rolled my eyes snapping my fingers when that didn't work I clapped my hands to get their attention. They came and sat beside me as I held a black wallet handbag. I only had my phone, a fake ID, my real ID, and some bandages. I had put makeup on my hand so you couldn't tell it was injured. It seemed like everyone else came down in a flood. Jack came over and wrapped an arm around my shoulder as I looked at him rolling my eyes.
"Okay, so couples are riding together. Rian and Laura, you are with Zack and Ryleigh, Brendon and Sarah with..." I spaced out as the tour manager was telling everyone who they were riding with.
I just followed Jack who followed Alex and Lisa. Lisa held hands with Alex as he swung their hands slightly. Jack kept eyeing me as I rubbed my arms every so often. He began to take off his black suit jacket as I shook my head.
As promised on a lighter note Lisa was right. I didn't have to walk the carpet as my mom did. Ryleigh got dragged onto the carpet as she is the face for our band. Lisa and I were directed to head a different way into the entrance. I began looking at cards on the table to see where everyone was seated. We were at round tables and I somehow managed to get seated not by Jack. I pulled my seat out and sat down as a waiter came around serving alcohol. They asked to see my ID as I handed the fake one over he left some champagne on the table. I had two glasses in front of me one of which I downed in a few seconds.
Jack came in and sat beside me as I looked at him. Alex patted his shoulder as they had to switch seats. I somehow ended up sitting across from Jack while Alex was seated across from Lisa. This was such an odd seating arrangement. The only people sat beside each other were my parents.
"What would you like for dinner?" The waiter asked me as I pointed to something on the menu.
I wasn't going to eat. Some music began to play while everyone got up to dance or mingle. Dinner wouldn't be served until almost 10 so it wasn't like it mattered it was only eight. We also still had to listen to someone talk and thank us for coming and stuff like that. Jack came over and sat beside me no one was paying much attention to us.
"What's wrong?" Jack said and put a hand on my cheek.
I pulled away as he looked at me hurt. I rubbed my face with my hands and I tried to find the words but my hands couldn't string my emotions together.
'I don't know anymore,' I signed and he nodded.
"You take your medicine?" Jack whispered in my ear as I looked at him.
I wasn't about to tell him no so I lied.
'yes,' I signed as he sighed.
"Only a few hours then you can get out of that outfit and we can go to sleep," Jack said and pulled my half-empty glass of champagne from me and drank from it.
"This is actual alcohol," he said and looked at me and then narrowed his eyes as I smiled sweetly.
"Logan, hand it over. I'm doing this because I want you to remember and enjoy yourself tonight," Jack said as I looked at him.
I pulled my real ID out and handed it to him as he didn't even check it to see if it was the fake. Jack held his hand out for me and we went out on the dance floor. Everyone was slow dancing and it was really bittersweet seeing everyone so happy together. I looked up at Jack as he looked down at me. I stopped dancing with him and pulled us through the crowd of couples and toward a door. He looked at me as I motioned for him to trust me. We stood in a stairwell as I smiled at him. He leaned in and kissed me soft and deep. My fingers found their way to his hair. I gave a gentle tug at the root as Jack groaned against my parted lips.
"Stop Lo, I can't go in there with a boner," Jack said breathlessly against my lips.
'then let's leave,' I said and he looked at me.
"How do you plan on doing that?" Jack said and I smiled pulling out my phone.
To: Alex Gaskarth
From: Logan Blake
Hey, can you tell my dad I headed back to the hotel? I am not feeling too well. I will be fine. Jack is coming to babysit me. Don't worry I promise I'm probably fine Alex, I will even come to hang out after you guys come back. I think I am running a fever though. I promise not to get your guitarist sick also. Love you have fun.
To: Brendon U.
From: Logan Blake.
Hey, dad if Alexander didn't tell you. I am not feeling well and heading back to the hotel. Jack is coming with me so don't worry. I'll be fine. I think I am running a fever. I promise I am really fine though I will see you later tonight.
I looked at Jack who picked me and carried me outside. I shivered causing him to take off his suit jacket. Jack draped it over my shoulders as I looked up at him giggling slightly. He called us an uber as we sat outside sharing small kisses and small talk.
To: Logan Blake
From: Alex Gaskarth
Feel better soon LOGAN, Lisa and I will bring you some soup or something later tonight. Also thanks I kind of need him for shows. Well, and you know other things ;)
Jack helped me up into the uber and gave him the address to the hotel. We sat in the back silently but once we got to the hotel it was different. Jack picked me up and carried me up the stairwell taking his sweet time and pressing me up against the dingy wall ever so often to kiss me. I had my legs wrapped around his waist, I felt a bulge against me as he groaned and his hips involuntarily bucked causing him to slam a hand against the wall behind me. I looked into his eyes and he looked back at me. I pulled on his black dress shirt collar and began to pull at where a tie would be only to realize he never had one on.
We somehow made it back up to his room. He helped me out of this outfit which I hated so much. Jack even allowed me to shower after everything. He climbed in with me, not in the let's continue this, but in a sweet way to make sure I was okay. I really hadn't been feeling too well the past couple of days. I didn't know if it was the combination of not taking my medication or just the seasonal allergies and lack of sleep. I stood in the shower as he brushed his teeth. Jack was fairly quick showering while it seemed like it took forever for me. I had Jack run to my room and get clothes. He came back with a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
Jack and I moved back into my hotel room where I proceeded to fall asleep listening to Jack's nonsense about how Home Alone was the superior Christmas movie. I cuddled into Jack's body though until I heard a knock on the door. Jack got up answer it to find Lisa and Alex. Alex came over and crouched down and looked at me. I had made sure Jack left no mark or trace of the real intention of leaving the dinner earlier. Alex put a hand on my forehead as I turned away form and began coughing.
The cough wasn't a fake cough it was quite real and it hurt my chest. Alex asked Jack if I had taken a breathing treatment Jack told him he wasn't that irresponsible with his date, let alone Alex's almost child. Lisa came over and handsome soup for me. I thanked her and smiled as we all sat in a room. Soon Dad came in slightly intoxicated but not where he couldn't function. Mom and dad examined me while I just kept coughing. I began to panic at one point when I felt like I could longer yawn or like the air was trapped in my lungs. I tried to eat my soup but the shaking was visible and it was like my world just began to fade away.
I dream of things that never were and I wonder why they could never happen. I dream of things that happen and relive the nightmare behind my eyes. I stare at the sky wishing on stars and I place my feet in the sea wanting it to pull me under. Maybe my ship will set sail and let my dreams navigate it.