Jeremy and Jake felt wheezy as they finally felt their feet touch solid ground again. The two looked around to gain their bearings but all they saw was pitch black.
"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" Jeremy muttered as he stared into the darkness "where are we?"
"Somewhere in Rich's mind" Keanu answered.
"Really?" Jake looked around at the blank abyss "I would of thought it would be more..."
"More not nothing" Jeremy finished "is this what every mind looks like?"
"No. You see Rich's mind right now is completely blank because he is in his own mind. He can't think, imagine or dream anything right now so there is nothing but darkness."
"Okay... so what would it look like if he was not in a coma?" Jake asked.
"Well I've never seen it personally but from what Rich's squip has told me what occupies most of his mind is actually you Jake."
Jake's eyes widened "really?"
"Yes I know very cheesy."
"Shut it Keanu" Jake said.
"Yeah!" Jeremy smiled "that shit is downright adorable."
Jeremy and Jake high fived and Keanu blinked at them.
"I'm a supercomputer and yet I still can't understand you two"
"It's called friendship Keanu" Jake responded.
"Speaking of friendship" Jeremy said "we should get back to the matter at hand."
"Right" Jake nodded "I mean if this is Rich's mind where is Rich?"
"I can detect where he is just give me a moment."
Jeremy and Jake glanced around (even though all they saw was darkness) as the squip seemed to just stare into the never ending void.
"Alright he's not far from here. You can just follow me."
"Hold on a second" Jake said "it's dark here I can barely see either of you. How am I supposed to follow what I can't see?"
"Fair point" Jeremy said "we could link hands or something."
"Is Keanu even touchable?"
"Or I could just do this."
Suddenly the squip glowed and gave off a bright light.
"Okay so you can do that now" Jeremy stayed.
"I always could Jeremy."
"Shouldn't I have known that?"
"You never asked."
"Why would I ask that."
"Exactly" the squip said "then it's not very important is it."
"Let it go Jeremy" Jake sighed "come on let's go get Rich."
"Wait" Jeremy said.
Jake groaned "what?"
"Are we supposed to carry all these Mountain Dew boxes?" Jeremy questioned "I mean there technically only two of us so how are we going to do it."
"Good point actually" Jake said and turned to Keanu "so?"
"You're hopeless" the squip rolled its eyes.
It tapped the boxes with its hand and they began to levate off the ground. Jake and Jeremy stared in shock.
"Oh so you can do that to" Jeremy huffed.
"Please Jeremy I am in a mind this is where I thrive."
"I can't believe I have to listen two you bicker while trying to find my boyfriend" Jake sighed.
"Believe me Jake I'd rather not have to deal with this either" Jeremy huffed "I forget how annoying Keanu was."
"Jeremy I am tailored to you. You are therefore calling your own taste annoying."
"See this is why I hate you" Jeremy said angrily.
"Both of you shut up. Let's go find Rich" Jake snapped "Keanu lead the way."
"With pleasure."
After awhile of walking Jake started to get even more frustrated then Jeremy.
"How big is this place!" Jake exclaimed.
"It's a mind Jake it's going to be big" Keanu said "we'll get to Rich soon."
Jake crossed his arm and continued walking. Suddenly a wall of fire burst from no where and blocked off the three.
"Shit!" Jeremy screamed "what the fuck is that!"
"Ah yes squip protocol. It happens when people try to trespass."
"That would have been good to know earlier" Jeremy complained.
"Perhaps it would have."
"Jake may I strangle him?" Jeremy looked at Jake who was gazing at the fire in front of him.
"No Jere, I doubt you even could."
"Rude."
Jake ignored him "how do we got through this?"
"I... don't know."
"You what!?" Jeremy exclaimed "you are literally a supercomputer."
"Give me a moment I'm sure I can think of something."
"Um Keanu?" Jake said.
"Yes Jake?" The squip sounded annoyed.
"What are those things?" Jake pointed towards figures coming through gaps in the fire. They were moving swiftly towards them.
"Oh fuck."
"That's not a good sign" Jake sighed and then squinted slightly "wait a second are those little Kermits?"
"Rich's mind is a strange place Jake."
"Get rid of them then" Jeremy turned to the squip.
"I can't."
"Aren't you supposed to thrive in a mind?" Jeremy said.
"I can't get rid of them Jeremy but here is what I can do" Suddenly Keanu was holding two bats "here."
Jeremy took a bat "you want me to fight them?"
"Do you want to survive?"
"Fair point" Jake took the other bat "think about it Jere we get to beat muppets with bats."
"Micah will be jealous" Jeremy grinned "let's do this Jake."
"Fight them off for awhile and I'll be able to disable this wall."
"Aight Keanu" Jake said "hurry."
Jake and Jeremy both ran at the Kermits and Jake was the first of the two to hit one. It went flying into the fire wall and combust into flames.
"That's terrifying" Jeremy laughed as he drop kicked one of the muppets.
"Literally my childhood nightmare" Jake chuckled while hitting another Kermit.
"Jake they seem to be piling up" Jeremy said as more and more Kermits started to show.
"Listen I know this is a you and Michael thing" Jake shook one of the Kermits off his leg and then punched it in the face "but this a two player game my friend."
"Boys!" Keanu yelled.
"Yeah!?" They called back simultaneously.
"I'm almost done here but you need to watch out."
"Why!?" They yelled again.
There question was answered when a giant Kermit burst from the flames. Jeremy and Jake almost dropped their bats.
"Shit" Jake muttered "let's tag team this fucker."
"Thinking the same thing" Jeremy nodded "Keanu rope!"
A rope appeared in Jake and Jeremy's arms and the two grinned. They ran towards the muppet and held out the rope. The two ran circles around him and the huge Kermit's legs started to get tied. The two had to duck and dodge as Kermit started to swing at them. When Kermit's legs were fully tied up he started to loose balance.
"Timber!" Jake screamed as he shoved Kermit to the ground.
"Whoo!" The two yelled and did a high five.
They looked over to see the fire wall vanish. Keanu stood there grinning.
"That was very impressive" Keanu smiled.
"Thanks Keanu not to bad yourself" Jeremy smiled back.
"Alright guys" Jake smiled and looked into the distance "let's go find Rich."
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This was one of the weirdest things I've ever written and I regret nothing.
Also sorry for not updating for ages I'm hoping to get a new chapter up soon.