"Chaeyoung, seriously, you're not telling me everything."
Chaeyoung glanced at Lisa briefly before pointing at a sign. "Follow that."
"Where are we even going?"
"Long Island."
"I can tell that much, but where there-?"
"A motel."
"A motel?"
"Yes."
"And that's where Jennie is?"
Chaeyoung sighed. "She's either there, or she's dead."
"Ok, that's way too morbid. She's not dead."
"No, she's not. I'm sure of it."
"But what could've happened? Jisoo told me she and Jennie had a wonderful lunch, and by the looks of the hickeys on her heck, that sure was true..." Lisa began. "I don't get it."
"I don't either. But something happened, and we need to find her."
"I'm driving as fast as I can, Chaeyoung. Can you try calling her again?"
"If she's not answering Jisoo, I highly doubt she'll answer me."
Lisa turned a corner and Chaeyoung sighed again. "It's the third road on the left, turn there."
They drove through an apparently abandoned neighbourhood, situated right next to the highway on one side and the sea stretched out on another. It was shabby and colorless, and there was absolutely no one in sight. Lisa was surprised to find them suddenly before a motel, colorless as any other building around it, a hideous neon sign standing in the middle of the yard which read "The North Star Inn – rooms for rent"
"This is the place?" Lisa asked incredulously. "Why-?"
"It's where she comes when she needs space." Chaeyoung said quietly. "Park here."
"But why here?"
"Do you see anyone around?" Chaeyoung asked. When Lisa shook her head, she smirked and continued: "That's why. This is so far from everywhere, she can just come here and not worry about running into anyone."
"Then how do you know about it?"
"I might've brought her here the first time."
Lisa looked at her in confusion. "Wait, what?"
"I found this place first. It was quiet and away from everything, and cheap, and the liquor store around the corner never carded me, so...whenever Jennie was around and needed a breather, she'd go around and get all messed up. So one time I brought her here and she liked it more. There's no one here to recognize her and tattle to her parents."
"So..."
"She might be drunk, Lisa. I want you to know that."
"Okay."
"She's...she's been okay. She never really made it into a habit, thank god, but some instances..."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. But let's go."
They got out of the car and Chaeyoung stormed off to the reception, and emerged not a moment later with a room key and a relieved look on her face.
"She's here, thank god," she sighed to Lisa who was leaning against her car. "She came here around eight last night. The receptionist didn't know anything else. I covered her bill, but- we need to go. Or I need to go. Can you wait here?"
Lisa nodded. "Sure. Whatever you need."
Chaeyoung sighed, and took a few breaths before turning on her heel and hurrying off towards the stairs that led to the second floor of the rooms. The room she found with ease, and took a moment to just take a breath and prepare herself before she slid the key into the lock and opened the door.
She'd expected to find a drunken Jennie, a messy, stumbling chaos of tears and slurred curses, of stumbled steps and hazy eyes - and so she was stunned into silence when she encountered the exact opposite of that. There, on the floor, sat Jennie – her back was against the bed, knees brought up to her chest, her eyes fixed on a bottle of vodka, yet unopened, sitting on the floor before her. She did not move when Chaeyoung came in, and were it not for the little twitch in her shoulders when Chaeyoung closed the door, she could've sworn Jennie didn't even know she was there.
It was so quiet it was almost scary.
There were tears on her cheeks, silent, pained tears, and her mascara was smeared around eyes that were red and raw from all the tears she'd evidently shed. Her grip of her arm was so tight, nails digging into skin so hard Chaeyoung knew there'd be marks, but she did not make a sound. She looked both broken and whole, like an explosion waiting to happen, and Chaeyoung walked over as carefully as she could. Though the bottle in front of her looked untouched, she couldn't be so sure that there hadn't been other ones.
A drunken Jennie, one in emotional distress as Jennie obviously was in that instant, was volatile to say the least. Jennie was never physical, never dared to even lay a hand on her, but she did become even more unstable with each drink that she downed. It was so different from the drunkenness she got when she was happy and with friends – this was not for leisure or for fun. This was to forget, to make the pain go away, and Chaeyoung prayed to every god she knew that Jennie hadn't gone down that road.
Her voice was quiet and careful when she spoke.
"Jennie?"
Jennie did not acknowledge her, did not even move her eyes to look at her. Chaeyoung carefully picked up the bottle and took it to the bathroom and she began pouring it away, looking at it in disgust but more than glad to find that the bottle had been unopened. There were no other bottles so far as she could see, nor had there been any in the room, and she began to believe that perhaps Jennie hadn't drank a drop after all.
A quiet whimper was all that it took for her to leave the bottle on the counter and hurry back into the room to find Jennie crying, still as quiet as one could be, but now her face was buried in her hands, her entire body trembling with the sobs that wrecked their way through. Chaeyoung sat down beside her, and carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders, allowing Jennie to lean against her, and she cradled her head against her shoulder as gently as she could. She'd never seen Jennie this small, this devastated, and felt both furious and pained to see her like so – she wanted to find out what had happened and make it right, wanted to end Jennie's tears and just have her smiling and happy again.
She knew it was of no use to ask questions now. This wasn't the first time she'd seen Jennie like this, and certainly not the first time she'd come to this motel to retrieve her; no, Chaeyoung was accustomed to this, and so she knew that what Jennie needed now was silence and to be held.
She'd speak when she was ready.
It took a while for Jennie to stop trembling, and even longer for her to stop crying. But she was still in pain, and her grip of her arm hadn't eased at all – Chaeyoung then placed a hand atop hers, and gently wrapped it with her own, drawing it away from her arm. She flinched slightly upon seeing that Jennie's short nails had managed to pierce skin, and that tiny beads of blood pushed through when they were drawn away. She then pulled the sleeve of Jennie's shirt down and took extra care to button the cuff, and all the while Jennie just watched her, silently, as Chaeyoung took care of her.
Chaeyoung always took care of her. They took care of each other, they always did, and Jennie almost teared up at how caring and gentle Chaeyoung was being with her in that moment. Chaeyoung held her hand, her slender fingers gently tracing her skin, and she just waited, her eyes watching her with nothing but patience and understanding. There was no judgement, only concern- Chaeyoung cared not for what Jennie had done, only that she could get better again.
"Jennie..." she began quietly, not sure what she'd say but knowing she had to say something. "Jennie, please. Talk to me."
Jennie shook her head, instead fixing her gaze on a spot on the carpet a few feet from them and pursing her lips tightly.
"At least say something."
Silence.
"What happened?"
A whimper left Jennie's lips, and Chaeyoung felt her heart shrivel up in pain. She turned her eyes away from Jennie and rested her head against the bed, her hand stroking Jennie's arm gently as she waited. "Jennie, please...tell me what happened."
She heard a sharp breath being withdrawn, and looked to her side to find Jennie still staring at the carpet, eyes now full of tears that were just waiting to fall.
"Nayeon, she..."
"Nayeon?"
"She's in a coma, Chaeyoung."
Chaeyoung furrowed her brows. "Where'd-how did you even-"
"She tried to kill herself."
"What? Jennie, where- who told you this?"
"Seungri showed up, and told me where she was – Chaeyoung, I didn't even think, he told me she was in a long-term care facility and I just- god, I didn't even think, I just had to go, I thought about waiting till tomorrow but I couldn't, I couldn't...I had to know. I had to see—"
"See what? Jennie, what happened to Nayeon?"
Jennie let out a shaky breath and wiped away tears. "She attempted suicide six years ago."
Her words were only barely more than a whimper, but Chaeyoung understood them nevertheless.
"Six years?"
"Her father committed suicide first, and I don't even know about her mom- but she...Nayeon, she...tried to kill herself, and failed, and now she's in a coma and my parents are paying for her treatment and I just- god, Chaeyoung, I can't stop thinking about..."
Chaeyoung sighed. She knew what Jennie was thinking about.
"It's not going to happen to Jisoo, you know that."
"But what if it does!?" Jennie cried. "What if I've ruined her life, what if- what if we do lose all our properties, because you know they won't stop there – they'll sue us for more, they'll strip us of our last penny and leave us bare and homeless, and I can't- no, I won't let that happen to Jisoo, I can't-"
"Jennie, stop. Just stop."
Chaeyoung's tone of voice was stern, and Jennie faltered into silence.
"Jisoo's not going to try and commit suicide and end up in a coma."
"But-"
"No buts, just listen. You're right about one thing. You didn't think. This is exactly what your parents wanted to happen – you, wrecking yourself over guilt that isn't even yours, you did nothing wrong – all you ever did was love Nayeon, all the bad things that happened to her after are your parents fault, and theirs alone. You didn't think this through, and it was stupid, you went there even though you knew that's exactly what they wanted of you. They wanted to break you, to hurt you, and clearly they succeeded and I swear to God I'll kill them for it. And Jisoo's not going to go out and try and kill herself and end up in a coma because your parents may or may not ruin your lives. You have to know that."
"But, Chaeyoung- just let me talk, okay?" Jennie said quietly. "Please."
Chaeyoung sighed and rested her head against Jennie's. "Fine."
"I- I told Jisoo we'd be fine. I told her there wasn't anything to worry about, but I lied, and now- I lied to her, Chaeyoung, I'm so worried sometimes I can't even breathe, and all the extra work I've been doing is a lie, too- I've been trying to find any loopholes in their case, any way that they wouldn't win, but..."
Chaeyoung groaned. "Oh, Christ, Jennie."
"Chaeyoung, I'm scared."
Chaeyoung searched for the words to say for a long while. "You have every right to be. But you'll be fine."
"I'm not scared for me. I'm scared for Jisoo. I don't- I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to ruin her life, too-"
"Jennie. You're not ruining her life. If your parents strip you of your home and your money, it's not your fault. You're not doing anything to Jisoo but being perfect, except right now that you're probably giving her endless worries because you haven't responded to any of her calls or texts-"
"My phone died."
"And that's not a lie?"
Jennie nodded. "I swear. I- it's dead. Is she okay? Is she- god, Chaeyoung, I've fucked up, please tell me Jisoo's okay."
"Yes, you have. But it's okay. Jisoo's worried, but once we get you home, she'll be fine."
"I'm so worried."
"Of course you are. But you'll be fine, I promise. Even if you lose your properties and money, you can come live with me. I make enough, and I have savings."
"We couldn't possibly- no, Chaeyoung, I can't put Jisoo through this."
"No, you just shut up for a second," Chaeyoung said. "You've spent all night in your head and I'm drawing you out, because what you think is wrong. You think your love is toxic. I know you do, you've thought that ever since Nayeon and even with Jisoo I know you still worry about it. And I understand that. But Jennie, please, for the love of God, don't tell me you're actually thinking about leaving Jisoo to save her from having her life ruined."
Jennie let out a sigh. "No, that's not an option- I wish it was, but she- she loves me. And I love her. And I- if she didn't care for me like she does, I'd gladly leave and let her live a happy life, but...I can't, Chaeyoung. I can't think of a single way where I could spare her from my parents and not break her heart."
"Then don't."
"What?"
"Don't you go breaking her heart, Jennie, because if you do, you'll surely shatter your own. You'll absolutely break yourself if you even try." Chaeyoung said sternly. "Don't you even think about it. You're being an idiot right now, and I am so happy you didn't drink – or did you?"
Jennie shook her head. "I was going to, but then I thought of Jisoo, and I just couldn't-"
"Good. That's good. And also- how can you even think that Jisoo could live a happy life without you? Do you even- no, nevermind. I know you know that's not true."
Jennie didn't say anything.
"Now you're going to come with me and come home to Jisoo, and you're going to be honest with her about everything – I don't care if she cries, or if she's hurt, but you can't keep things like that from her. Tell her what you're afraid of." Chaeyoung told Jennie. "I love you, but you're being an idiot, and I get that- I get why you're thinking what you are, but you need to understand that your mind is clouded by hurt and pain and probably anger, too, and you need to go home to Jisoo and explain it all to her."
"I didn't go home because I needed to clear my head, but it's even messier than before- I can't go back, not until I know what to say."
"You'll know what to say."
"I lied to her, Chaeyoung. I kept something from her when I promised I wouldn't, I-"
"You made a mistake. Possibly a big one, but trust me, Jisoo will be fine. She wants you to come home. You haven't answered a single call, a single text – she's worried sick. She's been calling Lisa non-stop ever since we left, so-"
Panic entered Jennie's eyes then, and she darted to her feet so quick the whole room spun. Her legs were numb from having been in the same position all night, and she would've fallen over were it not for Chaeyoung catching her.
"Not that fast, I promised her I'd bring you back in one piece," Chaeyoung muttered. "Now come on. Let's go home."
Jennie nodded. "Yes. Please."
When Lisa saw the two of them walk out of the room, she let out a sigh of relief and felt almost faint at the stress just leaving her body. She whipped out her phone and quickly shot off a text to Jisoo, a short one that read:
Jennie's fine. We're coming home.
She pocketed her phone and went over to the two women making their way to the car, and together with Chaeyoung they got Jennie into the back seat. Chaeyoung sat in the back with Jennie, and Lisa started the car the instant the doors were shut, hurrying their way home to Jisoo.
She got a very brief summary of what had happened, but already that summary had her fuming. Had Chaeyoung not been so preoccupied by Jennie sobbing into her shoulder, she would've noticed that Lisa was practically trembling at the sheer force of her anger, that her hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly it surely should've broken off from the effort.
Lisa was furious. She'd tolerated Jennie's parents as they were, knowing there was little she could do, but just the thought of that snivelling bald man going anywhere near Jennie made her feel nauseous – she cursed herself for not punching him out when she'd had the chance, and wanted nothing more but to get in a good few strikes at his face. But she knew she couldn't do that – she knew Jisoo was equally as angry, if not even more, and knew Chaeyoung was too, and realized then that this wasn't going to stop.
Jennie's parents wouldn't stop. They'd always find ways to come at Jisoo and Jennie, and though Lisa was not directly affected by them, she suffered at their hands too. She suffered because she hated seeing Jisoo so worried, loathed seeing Jennie so broken – she felt pain each time she noticed Jisoo looking away, concern back in her posture, knowing Jisoo was trying to conceal the fact that she was worried. The shadow of Jennie's parents was too prominent.
Lisa knew and accepted then that it wouldn't recede on it's own.
An idea that had thus far only been an idea in Lisa's head became a fully consolidated plan during that drive from the motel back home. She did not speak up about it, no – this was her own doing, something she'd do alone, something she'd do for both Jisoo's and Jennie's sakes – and, by extension, for Chaeyoung's sake too.
She'd bring them down. Jisoo and Jennie may have had their hands legally tied, but Lisa certainly didn't.
No, she had an idea.
More than just an idea.
She had a plan.
*****
It had been four hours since Chaeyoung had left. Four hours Jisoo had sat at home, eyes fixed on the door, unable to move away. She'd cried, she'd been angry, but all through those four hours the worry hadn't truly ended until she'd received that one text from Lisa.
Jennie's fine. We're coming home.
Dalgom had been unsure of how to handle a crying and worried Jisoo. He had felt the tension in the air, and the second time Jisoo had cried he'd yapped until she'd picked him up into her lap, where he'd proceeded to try and lick away her tears. She'd laughed through her tears, trying to push the little puppy away from her face, and for that brief moment, she'd been able to breathe. But then the worry had set in again, and she'd held Dalgom close and cried again.
Jennie couldn't just disappear like that. Jisoo was angry at her for just disappearing without another word, wanted to yell at her for leaving her to worry – but most of all, she just wanted her home. She didn't even care why she'd disappeared.
She just wanted Jennie to come home.
And so when she heard the elevator ding in the hallway, she went to the door, and the instant the door was opened to reveal Jennie, she ran into her. She wrapped her arms around Jennie's neck and just pulled her close, held her so tightly Jennie couldn't even breathe – but she allowed that, relished that even, and shed a few more tears into Jisoo's hair as she slid her arms around her waist and pulled her closer.
Jisoo glanced at Chaeyoung over Jennie's shoulder and smiled. "Thank you."
Chaeyoung nodded and smiled as well. "Any time."
And then Jennie was pushing against Jisoo, and they stumbled the few steps into their apartment so that Chaeyoung could close the door behind them. Jisoo held Jennie so tight she could barely breathe, but Jennie didn't mind; she understood, she needed this, and she never wanted to let go.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been gone for that long."
Jisoo whimpered and tightened her arms, her legs giving a little way as her exhaustion finally hit her. She'd been so worried she hadn't even eaten, hadn't slept more than those few hours, and just the stress had drained every last bit of energy from her body. In response, Jennie's arms held her even tighter, holding her up and supporting her - as they always did.
"Don't you ever do that again," Jisoo whimpered, "Ever. Promise."
"I promise."
Jennie managed to maneuver them over to the couch, where she sat down to allow Jisoo to climb into her lap, arms still around her neck and face buried in her shoulder. Jisoo was trembling slightly, as was Jennie, and upon hearing the first sob, Jennie broke down too – she'd held her tears for longer than she thought she could, but feeling and hearing Jisoo cry, she began crying too.
A mass of apologies left her lips amidst sobs and whimpers, spoken into Jisoo's hair and mixing with the whimpers and sobs of Jisoo – they were both messes, clinging to one another like they feared the other would disappear lest they let go, and all the while they cried.
Dalgom sat at their feet and watched them. He did not understand why they were so upset, when just the week before he'd seen them laughing in the exact same position. He'd seen Jisoo climb into Jennie's lap, a smile on her lips, but now that same position beheld within it a suggestion of absolute devastation - they were whimpering and sobbing and making noises that Dalgom certainly disliked, but he did not know what to do, and so he sat next to Jennie's foot and just watched them, occasionally letting out a quiet little whimper.
He did not understand, and frankly, neither did Jisoo or Jennie. Jennie wanted to stop crying so she could apologize to Jisoo, so that she could tell her why she'd left and explain what had happened and why she was hurt, but she couldn't – she didn't understand quite why, but hearing Jisoo cry, feeling the sobs and trembles of her body, it shattered her more than anything, and she could not keep the tears at bay.
Jisoo was simply overwhelmed. Jennie was home. Jennie was fine. Jennie was okay, she was okay, albeit she was currently crying and holding her so tight Jisoo barely could breathe, but she was okay. She hadn't been mugged, she hadn't left her, she hadn't run away – for a brief moment, Jisoo had believed she'd done wrong and Jennie had decided to leave, despite knowing it was a ridiculous thought. But she hadn't been able to shake that thought, not until she had seen Jennie – no, she hadn't truly been able to stop thinking about that until she'd felt Jennie's arms around her and her breath against her neck, the apologies spilling from her lips so quickly Jisoo could barely catch them.
They didn't matter. Her being there was a comfort enough.
"I'm glad you're okay," Jisoo finally managed to whisper, "God, I'm so glad you're here."
Jennie sighed and rested her forehead against Jisoo's, and brought her hands up to cup her face gently as though she feared Jisoo would break otherwise.
"I'm so, so sorry."
"But what happened?"
Jennie sighed. "God, it's a long story."
"Tell me. Please."
©artsypolarbear