Once Jisoo was certain that Lisa was fast asleep, she wriggled herself away from the two sleeping brunettes – she laid Jennie down on one side, and Lisa to another, and then rushed off with the phone. She was surprised at how composed she was – obviously she wasn't as attached to Chaeyoung as Jennie or Lisa, but she had grown to care for her, and did feel the constant nagging of nerves and disgust in her gut that told her that she was afraid. She, too, hadn't been able to keep the tears at bay, not when two of the most important people in her life were both sobbing in her arms. Nevertheless, she forced herself to function enough to slip into the hallway and pull up her mom's number, despite it being so early.
Miraculously enough, her mother answered not seconds later, and Jisoo let out a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank god," she said quickly. "Mom, I need your help."
"What is it Jisoo? You sound awful. What's wrong?"
Jisoo gave her mother a quick rundown of what had happened, after which Dara let out a long sigh during which Jisoo knew she was rubbing her temples. She always did that when she was stressed.
"I don't know what to say, Jisoo. Is...is Lisa ok? And Jennie?"
"No, they're not. Lisa, she's....I've never seen her like this, it's horrible."
"What do you need?"
"I need to get in touch with anyone from the camp. We just have to know something, anything. Can you arrange that?"
"I can try."
"And hurry, please. Lisa's asleep now, but I know she'll wake up soon and if she starts crying again, I'm probably going to cry too – she's so broken, Mom, I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to say, I can't tell her Chaeyoung's fine because what if she's not- she's afraid Chaeyoung's dead, because she saw a news article and apparently there's one dead and Lisa won't stop thinking about it, and I understand why she can't stop but she's literally tearing herself to pieces over it-"
"Thus far, we don't know anything. So just let her sleep as long as possible, and I'll try my hardest to get in touch with someone. I'll forward them directly to your number, ok?"
Jisoo slid down along the wall until she sat on the floor, and set her phone atop her knee before resting her head back against the wall and shutting her eyes. She had a headache, she was tired, but that didn't matter. No, nothing else mattered now than the phone on her knee and the call she was expecting. She could bear to go back inside – she didn't want to see Lisa and Jennie, not now, because even in their sleep Jisoo could see their tear-stricken faces and
She didn't know how long she waited. It was probably hours, judging by how sunny it'd gotten outside by the time the phone did actually ring. Jisoo had dozed off, head resting against the wall as she slept, and so when the phone rang, she darted awake, casting the phone to the ground. It took her a few seconds to regain herself, after which she grabbed the phone as quick as she could.
"Hello?"
Jisoo gasped when she heard Chaeyoung's voice. "Chaeyoung!?"
"Jisoo?"
"Holy shit, Chaeyoung- oh my god, are you okay!? What- no, nevermind, first tell me you're alive and fine and not dying."
"I'm all of...that. I'm fine."
Chaeyoung sounded like she'd gone to hell and back. Her voice was raspy and quiet, weak even, and Jisoo groaned as she got up to her feet. "Wait a second, I'm giving the phone to Lisa."
She hurried to the door and practically ran inside, and didn't even stop before she was at the couch and shaking Lisa awake. The brunette whimpered and tried to push Jisoo away, but Jisoo nudged her again.
"Lisa, it's Chaeyoung. Wake up."
Upon hearing Chaeyoung's name, Lisa's eyes shot open, and the next second she'd grabbed the phone from Jisoo's hand and raised it to her ear.
"Lisa?"
Lisa heard Chaeyoung's voice and that was all it took for her to break down again. She turned to her side to hide her face from Jisoo, and bit her lip as tears pushed their way through, determined not to cry again. Jisoo moved over to nudge Jennie awake, and quietly pulled her away and upstairs, where she gave her the good news. Jennie cried out happily and broke down in relief as well, and understood entirely why Jisoo had moved her away from the couch. Lisa needed some privacy.
Chaeyoung waited a while before speaking again. "Lisa, talk to me."
Lisa took a deep breath and tried to regain herself, but she was practically shaking with sheer relief from just hearing Chaeyoung's voice. "I-are you okay?"
"I'm okay, Lisa."
"You're not hurt?"
There was a slight pause. "No, I'm not."
"You paused." Lisa said quietly. "You're hurt. Don't lie."
"A little scrape, that's all. I'm not dying."
And then, suddenly, Lisa withdrew a sharp breath. "I thought you were fucking dead, Chaeyoung! I- I thought you were hurt or dead or something, and it's been hours- what the fuck happened!?"
Her voice shook as she said the words, but she was now both pissed and relieved and still reeling from the fear and hurt she'd felt for all those hours – no, she was a complete mess, and Chaeyoung understood entirely. She could practically hear the tears that Lisa was probably wiping away, and didn't need to try very hard to be able to imagine how she looked in that instant.
Chaeyoung was trembling, too. There had been hours where all she had been able to think about was the fact that Lisa was worried – she'd known that Lisa was crying, had just known it in her gut, and the fact that none of the phones had worked had left her unable to reach Lisa for far too long, that fact had made her so furious she'd cried just from anger.
"The...I don't know really who it was, the press is saying it was ISIS but here they're saying they were just rebels...anyway, they attacked the camp. They didn't get far, though – one guard died and some people outside were wounded, but they did manage to blow up our communications tower pretty well. I've been trying to find a way to reach you for hours."
Lisa let out a shaky breath – she was clinging to Chaeyoung's voice, on each word and syllable that it carried, because it was proof that Chaeyoung was fine, that Chaeyoung was alive, and that she wasn't dying or dead. The phone she held in her hand as though she feared someone would try and take it from her, and she was trembling just slightly. She felt nauseous and faint and like the room was spinning, and yet she remained there, curled up on Jisoo's couch, just listening to Chaeyoung's voice and trying her hardest not to cry.
"Lisa, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry it took this long – they evacuated us from the camp immediately and I didn't have time to grab my phone or anything, and now we're in N'Djamena and they finally gave us some access to phones. You should've seen it, I practically punched a guy to get here first, but I'm so sorry...I don't even know what it's been like for you. I'm just...god, Lisa, I'm so sorry."
Lisa swallowed hard before speaking. "I thought you were dead."
Her voice was small and weak, more a whimper than words, and carried all of the sorrow and hurt and worry she'd felt in the past hours. She would've cried, but she had cried so much she no longer could – tears were no longer abundant in her eyes, and her body felt like one more sob would break it all.
"I'm sorry-"
"I couldn't stop thinking, Chaeyoung – no, I couldn't stop imagining you hurt, you bleeding, you dying...Chaeyoung, I swear to god, if you stay there a second longer, I'm going to come there myself, kick your ass, and then drag your-"
"I'm boarding a plane in less than an hour. They're evacuating some of the staff, myself included."
Lisa stumbled over the whole rant she'd been preparing to give and was shocked into silence. "Wait, what?"
Chaeyoung smiled on the other end. "I'm coming home, Lisa."
Of all the things Lisa had expected to hear, those three words were not among them. No, not at all.
"You're...what?"
"I'm coming home."
"Oh..oh my god."
There was a long while of silence as Lisa fought to remain even somewhat sane amidst the mess of emotions in her head. "You're coming home?"
Despite all her efforts, her voice broke when she said that - a new set of tears welled up in her eyes, and she cursed herself for not even being able to speak normally in that moment.
"Yes."
"Here?"
"Yes."
Lisa inhaled sharply and shook her head to clear her mind. "Oh my god, Chaeyoung, I swear to god I'm going to kill you."
"Why?"
"You fucking scared the shit out of me! And now you tell me you're coming home a week early! Do you want me to have a heart attack!?"
"Please don't have a heart attack," Chaeyoung said quietly. Lisa winced slightly and lowered her voice again before speaking - she wanted to yell at Chaeyoung, but also didn't, not when she could practically feel the hurt from just the tone of her voice.
"Chaeyoung..." Lisa mumbled. "I don't even know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Go to sleep. You sound tired."
"That might be because I've been crying all night,"
The wince that Lisa heard right afterwards made her heart break. "I...I'm so sorry, Lisa," Chaeyoung said quietly. "I'm so sorry."
Lisa shook her head, sniffled and wiped away a tear. "Just get your stupid ass here, okay?"
"I will."
"And don't you dare die on the way."
"I won't. I'll try and call you from Paris, we've got a four-hour layover before the flight to New York."
There was a slight pause. "I don't want to go to sleep."
"You should."
"I don't want to hang up."
"Lisa, I promise you, I'm fine."
"You sound like you've been crying."
"That's because I have."
Lisa didn't even bother to comment on the fact that Chaeyoung had so readily admitted to crying. "Then you're not fine."
"I'll be fine when I'm there with you. But I have to get on a plane first."
"Don't go."
Chaeyoung sighed. "Lisa..."
"Just...can you just talk? Till if fall asleep?"
"About what?"
"I don't know. Tell me about some surgery, anything. I don't care. Just talk."
Chaeyoung sighed, and Lisa could've sworn she heard the smile tugging at her lips. "Alright."
She talked about some ten-hour open-heart surgery that she'd assisted two days before, and Lisa didn't pay much attention to the words – no, she just listened to Chaeyoung's voice, and let it lull her into a state of calm and serenity until she was comfortably asleep. Chaeyoung listened carefully to her steady breathing for a minute or so before quietly hanging up, and then grabbed her bag and rushed off towards the gate.
*****
Jisoo had sat upstairs with Jennie for what had felt like ages, whilst Jennie had tried to process everything that had happened – all her fear about Chaeyoung being hurt or gone had dissipated in one instant, and the residual effects of that took a long while to fade away. She'd cried, she'd laughed, and then cried again, and Jisoo had cried a little bit too, mostly from happiness because Chaeyoung was fine and that way, she knew that both Jennie and Lisa would be fine as well.
After a while, Jennie had fallen asleep again. Jisoo watched over her for a while, her hand gently stroking her hair, before she left Jennie in the bed and crept downstairs to go check on Lisa. She'd heard some happy cries, and then some sobs, but it had been quiet for a long while. She wasn't surprised to find Lisa curled up on the couch, the phone held to her ear, fast asleep with a slight smile on her face. Jisoo smiled too, and gently took the phone from Lisa's hand before lifting her head up to slip a pillow beneath it. She fetched a blanket and draped it over Lisa, and her hand lingered on her cheek for the slightest of moments before she got up to head back upstairs.
She was at the foot of the stairs when she heard Lisa shift, and then heard a quiet mumble.
"Thanks, Jisoo."
Jisoo smiled again. "Just sleep. You've had a rough day."
Lisa hummed, half asleep, and pulled the blanket tighter around herself. "Chaeyoung's comin'..." she mumbled, "...tomorrow. She's coming home..."
A warmth spread through Jisoo's chest when she heard that. "That's amazing, Lisa. But sleep now."
"Mhm..."
Jisoo went back upstairs and climbed into bed with Jennie. She woke her with a kiss to her cheek and a slight nudge, and in the darkness she saw the confusion was ever-present in her wife's eyes.
"What?" Jennie mumbled. "Is something wrong-"
"No, everything's fine. Chaeyoung's coming back tomorrow."
"She is?"
"Yeah. She is."
"That's amazing."
"I know."
"Does Lisa know?"
"She told me."
"Ah."
"You should sleep."
"You woke me up."
Jisoo chuckled and nuzzled her face in Jennie's neck. "Sleep. Everything's fine. Chaeyoung's fine, and Lisa's asleep, and she smiled. All's well."
Jennie sighed and threw an arm around Jisoo's waist. "It's been an eventful few days."
"Yes, it has."
"It's been an eventful few months, really."
"Yes, it has."
"Are our lives always going to be this messy?"
"God, I hope not," Jisoo groaned. "You know, Mom's always got this saying – life may be messy, but wait till you get kids. Then it will literally and figuratively be messy."
"That's a weird saying."
"Yeah."
"But kids?"
"Huh?"
"You'd want kids?"
"I dunno. I guess? Not yet, though."
"Yeah. Not yet."
"Would you?"
"What?"
"Want kids?"
"I would. But not yet, and definitely not until our lives aren't as...messy."
"Things will settle," Jisoo decided. "Look at how today went. All it took was that one phone call and everything's right again."
"I'm glad to see you've found your faith again."
"I never lost it, it just got mixed up with all the messiness our lives are at the moment."
Jennie laughed, her breath warm against Jisoo's shoulder. "Now shut up, I want to sleep."
"Fine, fine. Good night."
"Good night."
*****
The instant Chaeyoung got on the plane, she slumped down into her seat, her exhaustion finally catching up with her. Only half the seats were occupied, and so once they'd taken off, she moved over to a row that was entirely empty and sat in the far corner. She rested her head against the little table and let out a long, exasperated sigh. She was exhausted and had the worst headache of her life, and her eyes were raw and dry from all the tears she'd shed – she'd cried in frustration more than once, and had been feeling nauseous and nervous and scared all day. The bandage on her arm reminded her of just how bad things could've been – she'd been lucky to just have a bullet graze her arm, and that it had been so shallow. The rest of her team was fine, too, aside from that one guard who'd died – Chaeyoung couldn't remember his name, only that he'd had dark-haired hair and brown eyes like Jisoo had. He'd died a quick death, that much she'd heard, and she was glad for it. A long, painful death was something no one deserved.
It hadn't really hit her, the realization, not until she'd heard Lisa's voice. The utter desperation, the pain that had been so evident in her tone, it'd suddenly made Chaeyoung realize that she really could have died. She could have been seriously hurt, or dead, and Lisa – Lisa would've been left alone, and her last words to her would've been 'I gotta go'.
She could've died. She'd always known the risks, but it was one thing knowing and another being actually at risk. And now, she didn't even know how she'd made it through the day without breaking down, because in that instant, she felt so weak and small that she couldn't help the quiet tears that slipped down her cheeks.
Chaeyoung moved her head slightly, and winced when she laid pressure atop the wound on her arm. It wasn't such a bad cut; a bullet had barely grazed her arm, tearing a long cut on it's side, but it was neither deep nor serious. A thorough cleansing, a few stitches and a properly placed bandage had been all that it needed, and Chaeyoung had been more than capable of dealing with it herself. But she now realized that Lisa would see it, and that Lisa would be worried – she wanted nothing more than to pretend none of this had ever happened, to just come home and be with Lisa and not have her hurting – but she knew that the instant Lisa laid eyes on the bandage, she'd be reminded of it all, and she'd surely be hurt again. And so Chaeyoung tugged the sleeve of her hoodie – no, Lisa's hoodie – down to cover her arm entirely.
She was wearing Lisa's hoodie. She'd been wearing it when the explosions had happened, having intended to wear it till she got to the tent hospital in the field because it'd been a chillier morning than usual – but of course that had never happened, and instead she'd had the thick hoodie with her all day despite the fact that the heat had grown to incredible heights and it had almost been unbearable. She'd refused to leave it behind, because it was Lisa's and reminded her of Lisa. She'd taken it off only when she was dealing with patients, not wanting it to get messed up, but had never left it behind.
Chaeyoung now looked down at the hoodie and realized that it was torn on the side where it'd caught on the fence as they'd scrambled out of the camp. She cursed under her breath, and suddenly found her vision clouded by tears – she didn't even know why, but the sight of the hoodie torn made her heart ache, and all of a sudden she was crying, sobbing quietly into her arm, trying her best to keep silent. She hated that she was crying in public, and that she was crying altogether – but she also couldn't help it, not when relief and residual fear washed over her in alternating waves. The thought of being dead and Lisa being devastated over her loss struck Chaeyoung like a stab to the chest, and the way she imagined it was more painful than anything – Lisa, crying and sobbing, left alone and broken so thoroughly that her cheery self was gone altogether. Lisa, hurting after her being gone.
Just the thought of never seeing Lisa again made Chaeyoung feel like she couldn't breathe – she was terrified, despite there being no cause for it anymore, and buried her face even deeper in her arms. The soft fabric reminded her of all the times she'd laid her head on Lisa whilst she was wearing it, of all the times she'd had her face nuzzled in Lisa's shoulder as her fingers ran mindless patterns along her back. She wanted nothing more than for Lisa to be there now, and was comforted by the knowledge that she'd get to see her in less than a day.
The flight was one organized specifically for the evacuation of any non-emergent military and DWB staff, and so Chaeyoung had been able to bring her medical kit aboard. She might've left all her things at camp, but her medical kit she'd grabbed on her way out, and it'd been put to good use. Now she pulled out a needle and some thread, and although it was made for medical use and not for actual sewing, she pulled the hoodie over her head and set to work to stitch the fabric back together. She kept undoing the stitches she'd done, not pleased with how challenging sewing fabric was as opposed to skin – it didn't do what she wanted in the ways she wanted, and she couldn't get the stitches even, and so it took her almost half the flight to Paris to just stitch up the small tear on the hoodie. Once she was done, she put the shirt back on, and pulled the hood over her head before resting her head down and attempting to get some sleep.
Upon arrival in Paris, Chaeyoung and the ten other doctors she'd been traveling with were immediately escorted to another gate, and before she even really knew what was happening, she was seated on another plane, about to take off. There hadn't been any time to call – she'd shot Lisa a text from a colleague's phone the instant they'd landed, but in that text she'd told Lisa that they'd be landing almost five hours later than what they actually were landing at given this new time. She'd heard that they had an earlier departure only after she'd texted Lisa, and there hadn't been any time to send off another text before they'd set off – the plane was already behind schedule, and because it was technically a military plane, they stuck to their schedule almost precisely.
And so she forced herself to sleep again, curled up in her seat, and the remaining seven hours to New York passed by as the longest seven hours of her life. It was dry and cold in the plane, and the food wasn't very satisfactory – the nausea that had been gnawing at her gut for the entire day only got worse after she'd eaten the chicken pasta and the roll that had come with it, but she managed to keep it down nevertheless. She'd cried again a little, unable to really control or comprehend why she did – she was a mess and felt like it, and looked like it too. Her hair was still in a pony tail, most likely messed up with blood and vomit from the patients she'd tended to earlier - after all, she was a doctor and there'd been wounded people. Her clothes were dirty too, from riding in the back of the jeep and from various bodily fluids, and she hadn't bothered to really dust them off or change. She didn't have a change of clothes, and she didn't really care.
The whole time that she was awake in between moments of being asleep, all she could think of was what would happen when she did get home. She'd come to consider Lisa's place her home, not her apartment – she only realized that now, when she was thinking of Lisa and feeling like she missed not only her but her space. Their space, really. Their home.
Lisa had referred to her bedroom as 'our bedroom' once, and Chaeyoung still remembered it. More specifically, she remembered the way hearing it had made her feel weak and absolutely overjoyed. She liked the thought of them being a 'we', and of sharing things and places and calling them 'ours' instead of 'yours and 'mine'.
She thought of Jennie, too. Lisa hadn't been the only one she'd been worried about – she was more than aware that Jennie was surely worried as well, and the fact that Jisoo had answered the phone had confirmed what she'd feared. If Jisoo knew that Lisa was upset, it was more than evident that Jennie knew too, and Chaeyoung had no troubles believing that Jennie would be equally as devastated over the possibility of her loss as Lisa was.
She was going to sit Jennie down and talk with her, and comfort her too. But her main priority for the moment was Lisa, because it was Lisa who'd seen her disappear – it was Lisa who'd gone from happily laughing about her being a superhero to a blank screen, to absolute confusion and lack of knowledge and fear. It was Lisa whose heart had been crushed when the communications tower had fallen and the connection had been lost.
And it was Lisa to whom Chaeyoung hurried to the instant the plane did land, a little past four in the morning. There were some people from DWB to receive them, and after providing her with some money for a cab and telling her they wanted her to come in for some reports and such as soon as possible, Chaeyoung ran off. It was cold in New York, and she didn't have a jacket, but she didn't really care.
Coming to the apartment building made Chaeyoung's stomach twist in knots. She'd considered calling Lisa from the airport, but had decided against it. She'd figured she might as well surprise her, let her sleep a little while longer before she showed up at her door.
The way up in the elevator was the most agonizing minute of Chaeyoung's life, and each step that brought her closer to Lisa's door made her heart leap - whether it was with nerves or excitement, she wasn't so sure. She was already overwhelmed, her hand clutching the strap of her bag as tight as it could, her heart racing in her chest. She was scared of what she'd find, of how Lisa would react, and she was so nervous and jittery that she felt sick again.
She came to Lisa's door, and took a deep breath to steady herself.
And then she rang the doorbell.
©artsypolarbear