Chapter 13:
~Whisper~
“Hello Morgause,” I said as I walked into the chamber where she and King Cenred were, along with Trist.
“Ah, Whisper, I see you got out of your little cage in Camelot,” she said with a smile. “You gained some trust of Prince Arthur, from what I understand.”
I nodded. “Though Merlin wants me dead. I told him I killed Cara.”
Morgause smiled at me. “Yes, well that should torment him. Good work, now your bed chamber is in the same room. I am sure you are tired from your journey. We will talk tomorrow.”
I nodded and bowed. “Thank you milady,” I said before turning on my heel and going to the room I had stayed in a few times before. There I showered, changed into a gown and cloak. I then got my things out of the chest in front of the bed I kept magically locked. I filled a small bowl with cold water, took out the twelve rocks and sat on the ground in a circle. I sat the bowl in it and then sat down in the circle myself.
I meant to enter someone’s dreams. It was a hard magic to get right, but I had become an expert at it with much practice. It was how I communicated with Lyra and Annie sometimes. This time I meant to speak with someone else.
I sat my hand into the water. “Prospicere in somnia de Emyrs.”
My body calmed, but my mind wondered. As I found my way into his head, my eyes opened to see I was in the woods. I changed my appearance so I looked just like Cara did two years ago when Merlin knew and loved her.
Then he came into few. He looked depressed, but when he saw me, his eyes brightened to sock. A smile spread across his face and he ran towards me. He stopped a few feet away.
“Cara?” he asked.
“Hello Merlin,” I said with a smile.
I met him halfway. Our arms wrapped around each other. I buried my face into his neck and held him tightly. It might have been a dream, but he even smelt like he used to with that hint of magic smell on him. Oh, how much had I missed him.
“Oh, it is good to see you,” he whispered.
He pulled apart and wiped the tears from each other’s eyes. He then kissed me softly for a few seconds. I smiled at him.
“Why am I dreaming about you?” he asked.
I took his hand and started heading out of the forest with his hand in mine. “You are needed at the castle.”
“I don’t care, if this is a dream, then I want to spend the whole time with you.”
“No, we must go to the castle,” I told him smiling at him softly. “You need to be there.”
“Why?” he asked.
I laughed. “Because Arthur needs his advisor by his side of course.”
“Advisor?” Merlin asked sounding confused. “I am his servant.”
I stopped and looked at his curiously. “Surely you remember,” I said with a nervous laugh. “You are no longer his servant. You are his Warlock Advisor. You are his guide. My dear husband don’t you remember?”
Merlin went pale. “He knows I have magic? Husband?”
He was now following by my side in a sort of trace. We were leaving the forest and headed for gates of Camelot. I held his hand softly.
“Of course he knows of your magic, my love,” I said. “As he knows I do. He expected you as what you are and now you are his advisor. He still doesn’t listen to you sometimes, of course, but King Arthur is still a very kind man.”
Merlin smiled a bit. “King Arthur?”
“Yes, after Uther died, he had to become king. Goodness husband, try to remember.”
“You keep calling me husband,” he said looking at me with a confused look.
“We are married. Did you eat some plant?”
“Married,” he whispered not answering my question. He looked down at his left hand (the one I didn’t have) and saw the gold band around his finger. He then moved my hand that was in his and saw the band around mine with the small pearl in it.
I nodded at him. “Yes, Arthur married us.”
Merlin looked like he might cry. He pulled me into another kiss, this one deeper and longer. I smiled into it. It was better than I remembered causing my whole body to go weak.
He walked through Camelot, holding my hand tightly. I was glad of it too.
The two of us walked through the courtyard. May of the guards nodded their head respectfully at Merlin. He seemed to be in awe at what he was seeing. Camelot looked clean and the people seemed happy. Some still struggled, but there was clearly help for them.
At the top of the steps King Arthur and Queen Gwen waited for us. They smiled kindly as we walked up the steps to them. Gwen gave me a hug and Arthur hit Merlin softly on the head, which made Merlin smile.
“Now, sir, I will ask you not to hit him,” I teased him.
“He may be a warlock, but he is still silly Merlin,” Arthur replied. “Thank you for finding him Cara.”
“Oh, he was just roaming around the woods. He has been acting odd though, I think he might not be feeling good.”
“That is no good,” Gwen said.
“You can’t miss the celebration,” Arthur said.
“What are we celebrating?” Merlin asked.
We all looked at him worriedly.
“What?” he asked looking confused.
“Merlin, darling, you were the first to know,” I told him softly, “I’m pregnant.”
I thought he might faint, but he just stumbled back some before he started to breathe hard. It was a bit horrified when he bent over and put his hands on his knees and started gasping for air.
“Merlin!” I gasped falling on my knees next to him. The knights were starting up the stairs looking worried. “Merlin, are you okay?”
“Yea,” he said taking a deep breath and then smiling at him. “I think I may have hit my head.”
I gave him a worried smile. “Maybe.”
Arthur looked at the knights. “He is fine, just being wimpy Merlin.”
“You cried when you learned I was pregnant,” Gwen laughed.
Merlin stood up straight and then helped me to my feet.
“Who is not with child?” he asked.
“Gwaine, is not,” Lancelot said coming up the steps with a smile and in a knights uniform, “and nor am I.” He smiled at the four us. “King Arthur, Queen Gwen, Sir Merlin, Lady Cara, it is good to see you. It has been too long.”
“It has been a day, Sir Lancelot,” I laughed. “Now, come, I think my husband needs a drink.”
The five of us went into the castle and to the throne room, where the celebration was being held. It was just for friends and a very small, but anymore would have made Merlin uncomfortable. Once inside, I made Merlin sit down and I went and got him a drink. He took it with a smile and kept his eyes on me as he drank it.
“What is it?” I asked.
He shook his head and then beamed at me. “You, everything. Here you are and carrying…” he looked at my stomach.
“Yes, I have your child within me,” I told him. “Come on, people are arriving and dancing will begin soon. Do try to be careful of my feet this time, love.”
He blushed, but I just kissed his slightly pink check in response.
Within the hour everyone had arrived. Mainly it was the knights of Camelot and their wives if they were married, along with some of the friends of Arthur and Merlin.
“Are you going to ask your wife to dance, my friend?” Gwaine asked coming up next to Merlin in his knight’s uniform. “Or shall I?”
“I don’t want her to move that much,” was Merlin’s response.
I laughed. “Oh come now, I dance will be good for me,” I said holding out my hand to Gwaine.
He smiled, took it, and led me to the dance floor. Gwaine, unlike Merlin, knew how to dance. He had grown up as a noble man like me, so naturally we both new every step by heart. Also, Gwaine was my dear friend.
“I am happy for you Cara,” Gwaine said to me as we danced. “You have the life you deserve at last.”
“It is just good to be around people I love and trust,” I told him.
His eyes moved from me to where Merlin was sitting and back to mine. “You husband is looking a bit jealous.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, he is always like that. If only he knew how lucky I felt to have him. I could never care for another the same way. I do not see men the same since him. No one can compare.”
Gwaine spun me as he laughed. “Oh, Cara, you sound like a lovesick girl.”
“Because I am,” I replied with a curtsy, for the song was over.
“Here comes you husband.”
I looked over my shoulder to see Merlin making his way towards me. Once he made it to me, he held out his hand, and I took it. I followed him as he led me outside onto the balcony where we were alone with the stars. Merlin went over to the rail and looked up at the sky. I stood a few feet back watching him.
“What is this?” he asked not facing me.
“What do you mean?” I asked softly.
“This isn’t real,” Merlin said.
I sighed. “Yes, it is not real.”
“Then what is it?”
The pain in his voice burned inside me. I wanted him to smile. I wanted him to be happy. More than anything, I wanted Merlin to be able to enjoy his life and not worry about everyone around him, but it wasn’t his way. He was too carrying. He still cared about Morgana even though she wanted him dead.
“It is your heart’s desire,” I told him honestly. “This is what you want to happen in the future, and it is a possible outcome of it.”
Merlin shook his head. “No. This could never happen.”
I walked up to him and placed my hand on his. “Why not, love?”
He looked at me with tears in his eyes. “Because you are here.”
“I do not understand.”
Merlin pulled away from me. “Cara!” he shouted. “You are dead! You’re sister killed you. She told me that she did.”
“My sister lies,” I told him.
“I watched you being buried.”
“Eyes can be deceiving.”
“You’re dead!”
I walked up to him and placed my hands on his cheeks. “Do I feel dead?”
“This is a dream.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure this is a normal dream? Tell me warlock, do things not seem too real?”
“You are dead, Cara. Please don’t taunt me. I cannot go through the pain of knowing you are gone forever again. Let me just move on,” he pleaded.
Looking into his eyes, I saw what I was doing to him. This was wrong of me.
“Okay, I am sorry,” I whispered. “Forgive me.”
He stared at me as I took a step back.
“Goodbye, love.”
Closing my eyes I willed myself to leave. When my eyes opened I was in my bedchamber in Cenred’s castle. I pulled my hand out of the water and put my face in my hands. What was I doing to the person I loved? I didn’t know what to do.
“Cara?”
I perked up and spun my head around. A smile formed on my face.
Sitting on the edge of my bed was my Annie.
“Annie, darling,” I said standing up and going to her. “How are you sweetheart?”
We hugged each other tightly. It had been to long since I had seen my daughter. She was always so far from me it seemed.
I cleared the floor with a wave of my hand. Annie and I curled up on the bed. She had gotten taller, her black, curly hair was longer, and her dark brown skin had gotten darker.
“How have you been?” I asked her.
“Good. I have been here mostly. Cenred seems angry a lot.”
“He is,” I said with a smile. “He’s just grumpy a lot.”
She smiled. “Who is Merlin?”
My smile fell. How did she know that name? “Merlin?” I asked. “Where did you hear of him?”
“Morgause said he was causing a lot of problems for Aunt Morgana. I overheard her talking about him to Cenred. Please don’t tell her!”
“I won’t,” I assured her. “Merlin has been causing problems for Morgana, but only because he is scared she will hurt his friends.”
“Will she?” Annie asked worryingly looking up at me.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I don’t think Merlin would hurt her, though. It is not his way.”
“Do you know him mom?”
I looked down into her eyes. “Yes, he used to be a good friend of mine.”
“What happened?”
With I sigh I told her the truth. “He thinks I am dead.”
“Why don’t you tell him you are alive?”
“I wish it were that simple.”
Annie looked at the wall. “Can you tell me about him?”
“What do you want to know?”
“How did you meet him?”
I smiled softly at my daughter. “Okay, it started long ago when I was engaged to a man named Ewing…”