My eyes followed the pack of female Angels, watching them shamelessly flirt with Barachiel and Grey. The one with dark brown hair like mine reached out and touched Grey's shoulder, a giggle escaping her lips.
A low possessive growl rumbled in my chest before I could stop it. As if he'd heard me, Grey's cerulean eyes flicked to mine from across the field, eyebrow raising slightly.
He wasn't mine. Why did I feel like I had some sort of claim over him? We were broken up and we were both terrified of the commitment that would entail our being together. So why was every cell in my body screaming 'mine' when I looked at him?
I looked away furiously, stabbing the blade of my sword into the grass at my feet. I could feel my power thrumming anxiously in my veins. Even though it was now anchored by being Pledged to Heaven, part of it was tethered to a man who looked like he wanted nothing more to do with me.
I wanted him to come back to me. I wanted him to say that he knew it was scary, but that we'd figure out forever together, that there was never any question in his mind that I was the one for him. But knowing Grey- I doubted that would ever happen. He was as stubborn as they come, and I understood how afraid he was. He'd broken up with Siobhan because she'd wanted more. I'm sure he'd done the same to others. He was infamous for avoiding commitment.
I couldn't help myself as I turned back to look at Grey and those girls. He smirked suavely at them all, his eyes lingering on the one with the dark hair that had touched him earlier. I could feel my pulse rising, the blood in my veins boiling.
He had a type.
She was pretty, with her braided dark locks stretching down to the small of her back. She had pale skin like me, and green eyes as well. However, she was a few inches shorter and I didn't see much muscle definition on her exposed arms. She couldn't pack a punch. I could take her.
I cursed at myself for letting my mind go there. Here I was, sizing up the competition like fighting her would make Grey want me again. No- I'd done this to us. I had to deal with the consequences. If he wanted to fuck someone who looked exactly like me- then fine.
Cheap wine will still get you drunk, you just won't enjoy it as much as the 300 dollar bottle.
"You okay?" Michael voiced from beside me, and I turned to look at him.
"I'm fine. Can we run a gauntlet?" I clenched my jaw tightly, my eyes still glued to the cheap bottle of wine flirting with my ex.
"You want to run a gauntlet?" Michael's brows scrunched together in concern and I nodded fervently.
He let out a deep sigh then rolled his eyes. "Fine. You want me to recruit those girls for the lines?"
"Not unless they volunteer. That'd be too easy," I chuckled venomously, yanking my sword out of the grass and swinging it in my hand.
"How kind of you," Michael replied sarcastically, then took a few steps away from me.
"Alright everyone, we're running a gauntlet. Whoever wants to fight the lines first, get in position. Jordan, you're up," Michael turned and winked to me as the Angels got into position.
Several men and several women lined up into two parallel lines in front of me. The goal, essentially, is for me to make it to the end of the two lines, disarming or disabling each of my opponents. The benefit of the gauntlet is not only to mimic a battle in which I would fight opponent after opponent with little break in between, but also to train me to fight more than one opponent at once. Having trained all week against Barachiel and Michael, but only one at a time, I wasn't too sure how I'd fare at this. However, when I saw my doppelganger line up at the end, I knew I'd be just fine.
I had to hand it to her, she was ballsy. And from the way her eyes glimmered as she looked at me from the end of the line, she'd heard my growl too.
Fine with me. If she wanted to figure out just what kind of woman was warming Grey's bed this last year, I'd show her. Gladly.
My eyes locked with hers, a slow grin curling on my lips to let her know that I knew what kind of game she was playing. She didn't return the smile.
"Begin," Michael announced and I flew into action.
The two men at the start of the line both swung at me, but I easily dodged their slow swings and got in close to their bodies. I kicked one in the knee, dislocating it, then hit the other's head with the hilt of my sword. While he was distracted, I kicked the underside of his elbow, popping the joint inwards with the blow. He yelped in pain, dropping his sword into my waiting hand. I then kicked out his feet from underneath him, landing him on his back.
I turned back to the other man, who'd regained his composure. He swung his sword at me, but I blocked it easily, then swung my other sword across his abdomen, slicing it open. Luckily, Angels healed fast. I wasn't about to go easy on them, not when the Reckoning was coming. He would live.
The next two, a man and a woman, glanced briefly at each other as I approached. The woman charged first. She was much faster than the first two men, and I actually had to concentrate to block her swings. While she was swinging, the man came forward and took a swing at my back. Somehow, I'd felt the air move out of the way as he swung, and I blocked his swing over my head with my second sword. I nailed a back kick to his unguarded gut, forcing him away as I finished off the woman. She took a low swing, trying to catch me off guard, but I'd blocked it and, against Barachiel's prior advice, nailed a kick to her chin. That was almost enough to finish her, but I knocked her off her feet by nailing her with another kick to her ribcage.
The man behind me came at me with a frustrated roar, practically running at me. He swung across his body and at the last moment, I slid underneath the blade onto my knees, swiping my blade across the backs of his knees so he couldn't stand. He would heal too.
Pair after pair went down as I moved down the line towards the girl. I'd just pulled my classic takedown move, swinging my legs around the man's neck and throwing him down, when I reached her at last. I could hear her heart beating faster and faster as I approached.
The other girl next to her came first. I didn't break eye contact with my look-a-like as I fought her. I blocked her sword swing for swing, then sliced the inside of her arm and kicked her in the throat. She stumbled back, leaving just the girl before me.
I raised an eyebrow slightly. Was she gonna fight me or just stand there, shaking? Maybe it was the fact that I had two swords. Fine. I stabbed one blade into the ground, but she didn't move.
"He said you're not together," she whispered under her breath, her green eyes holding mine.
"We're not," I replied coldly.
At that moment, she swung, but it was a feeble swing. I tossed my sword into my left hand and blocked her swing, then threw a solid punch into her cheekbone.
That was all it took. She fell into a heap on the ground and I let out a huff, walking over to where Grey and Barachiel stood.
Grey's eyes remained glued to mine as I walked up to them, swinging my sword absentmindedly in my hand before stabbing it down into the grass and placing my hands on my hips.
"Michael said he wants you to teach me some new takedown maneuvers. He's right, my normal move is inefficient when I'm fighting multiple people," I broke my eye contact with Grey to glance to Barachiel, who merely smirked.
"Didn't seem to slow you down, doll. But yeah, I'll teach you," he chuckled, motioning with an upwards tilt of his chin to the gauntlet behind me.
All of the Angels were still on the ground, either clutching their wounds or knocked out completely.
"What? I didn't kill them," I huffed, rolling my eyes.
"You took down 12 battle trained Angels in a span of 5 minutes. It was very well done. You're improving," Barachiel clapped a hand down on my shoulder with a laugh.
I could've sworn I saw Grey's lips curl upwards as if he were about to snarl, but the expression disappeared as quickly as it rose.
"Still not good enough. Even when I'm the best one here, it won't be good enough," I clenched my jaw slightly, glancing back over my shoulder again at the gauntlet.
There were nurses attending to those who still couldn't get up, but those who could were now walking. Walking to the hospital- but walking. A new line up of Angels slowly made their way over to form the parallel lines again.
"We have time. And you're doing well considering you've only been here for a week. You'd probably improve even faster if Az-Grey would come help out in training you," Barachiel nudged Grey's shoulder, but only got a cold glare in return.
"I don't need Grey, I'm fine," I snapped.
Grey's eyes flashed to mine, his arms folding sturdily over his bulging muscles. I tried not to ogle, but even the loose fitting white tunic did little to disguise the glory underneath. His charcoal wings jutted out from his shoulder blades, ascending a few feet above him and curling gracefully downwards until the tips of his feathers hit the floor. Grey was a massive Angel. I'd thought for sure most Angels were like him, but after being here, I knew I was wrong. He was at least twice the size of me. It was easy to forget when he loved me, but now-
"Eyes up here, Greene," Grey purred, his silvery eyes swirling with the blues and greys of a thundercloud.
I met his gaze and fought the urge to snarl. "Haven't seen you all week. Where have you been?"
"Here and there," he replied coolly, seeming rather disinterested in this conversation.
"Your new toy is cute. Kinda looks like my mirror and doesn't know how to swing a sword, but she's cute," I curled my lips in a little smirk, glancing back at the now conscious girl.
"So that's what that was? A display of dominance? God, you really have no self control, do you?" Grey rolled his eyes.
"I don't see you bleeding out on the grass yet. I'd say that's a pretty fine testament of my self control, don't you think?" I snapped back.
Grey's eyes twinkled in amusement, taking a slow and calculated step towards me. "I may resent you, and you might resent me, but you could never hurt me," he whispered lowly.
Resent.
The word made my blood turn to ice and I felt my heart freeze beneath my ribcage. It'd been a week and he still resented me for what I'd done to him. I hadn't intended to tie us together for eternity. Hell, if I could just give him that part of my soul and sever it from mine to be done with this- I would. But I couldn't. I couldn't take back what I'd unknowingly done, and he still hated me for it.
"I used to think the same about you, Grey. But look at you now," I replied, my voice trembling as my soul's power turned icy in my veins. "So no, I don't think you know a thing about what I could do to you. Regardless, that wasn't a 'display of dominance'. I couldn't care less what you do. Go stick your dick wherever you want. You're not mine anymore, just as I'm not yours."
That seemed to set off something inside of him, because I watched as blue fluorescent fire slowly enveloped his irises, his jaw clenching tighter and tighter. Maybe I shouldn't have lied to him. I wanted desperately for him to be mine again and to walk through whatever came at us hand in hand. I wanted desperately to tell him that I was his, that I would always be his- but it wasn't true. Not anymore. Not if he wouldn't share this burden of forever with me.
"If I wanted to have this fight with you, Jordan, I would've bound my soul to yours already," Grey snarled in response.
Mmm. That hit home. I glanced up at his eyes, holding his gaze.
"You're right," was all I responded.
At that, I turned on my heel and extended my wings out to either side of me, shooting upwards into the sky.
He was right. If he'd wanted to have that fight with me, he'd have had to have loved me. He'd have to have cared about what I had to say. But he didn't. Hence why my soul's power was still being sucked up by his.
I needed to find a way to break this. If he truly didn't love me anymore, if his resentment had grown deeper- I would not chase him. I would not force him to give up eternity for me- even if binding his soul to mine would make me stronger on the battlefield. I would not ask that of him. Not if he didn't love me.
I flew back into Heaven, then flew up alongside the white marble staircase that stretched up and up until I thought for sure there was no more up to go. Then, I broke through the clouds and descended towards the marble platform, landing in a jog on it.
"God?" I called out towards the hovering light above me.
"Jordan," the omnipotent voice boomed, echoing across the cloudy sky.
"I have to break the bond between my soul and Grey's. I can't-," I paused, unsure of what to say.
The light slowly dimmed as it lowered down to the platform, transforming into the dark skinned, silver haired woman I'd come to recognize as our Creator. She wore a golden gown that looked like it were woven from pure sunlight, and it stretched from the top of her neck down to trail on the floor behind her.
"You seem distraught," she spoke softly, her moonlight eyes watching me with care as she approached.
"Grey and I both have- we're both afraid of committing to someone for the rest of eternity. It's a long time to keep a promise to someone, when we don't know how that person might change or who we might become. Grey resents me for what I've done to him. I resent me for what I've done to him. I know you said there's no way to break the bond, but- but he doesn't love me anymore and I can't make him. I have to break the bond," I explained shakily as she took my hands gingerly in her own.
"My son is many things. Foolish, definitely being one of them. He is afraid of promises because of me, my daughter. Because he promised himself to me when he was Created, and soon found himself no longer fitting into what I needed him to be. When he tried to break his Pledge, I punished him, and he fell. He was punished severely for breaking his first commitment. I know he now believes himself incapable of keeping any commitment other than Death, and it's because that's who he is. He is desperately afraid of breaking a commitment to you like he has done to others, and he's afraid that you will wake up one day and not feel for him as he does for you- like he did with me," God replied softly, her eyes flicking back and forth between mine.
"Regardless of his reasoning, he resents me. I am positive that there is no more love held for me in his heart. I have forced his hand and betrayed him. I need to break the bond," I shook my head slightly.
"You are wrong. He loves you still, my daughter. He holds more love for you than you will ever be able to comprehend. That love, that love will never and can never die. Even if he is afraid and annoyed. He will return to you, and he will commit to you, once he realizes what he's doing to you," she murmured.
"How fast is my power draining?" I scrunched my eyebrows together in concern.
"Not fast at all. Nothing to be concerned about. I'm talking about this," she reached out and placed her hand over my heart.
"I don't follow," I frowned.
"Once he realizes that his fear is causing you this much pain, he will return to you. He believes you indifferent. He believes that his fear is warranted given that indifference," she tilted her head to the side slightly.
"Indifferent? Did my dying to save him not prove to him enough how much I love him?" I laughed incredulously.
"That was before he broke your heart. Following what happened in Paris, he believes that you do not feel for him as you once did. My son is not a fearful person, Jordan, but you make him fear," God replied sternly, taking a step back from me.
"So what do I do?" I huffed.
"The bond can not be broken. You must help him realize that you want forever with him, and that even though this binding was a mistake, you are glad it happened. You both must come to terms with the fact that you will not find better than each other, that your souls were made to intertwine. Together, you are one. You must come to terms with that."
And at that, the silver haired God transformed back into a swirling golden and silvery light that ascended back up above the platform.