I sat in the kitchen talking with Beckett and it felt like old times. We were making silly faces as we did on dates. My memory then went back to Tobias and the night we held hands and ran away. I looked at Beckett who smiled at me with scrunched eyes. I leaned over the counter and kissed him knocking over his glass of water and getting his crotch wet.
"You have good aim don't you?" He chuckled as I began to laugh.
Beckett stood up and came over pulling my face up to his and kissed me long and slow. My hands found their way up to the collar of his shirt while his left hand roamed my back and his right kept steady on my face. I heard someone clear their throat and noticed it was Alex. He came in grabbing a bottle of water then looked at us pointing at me.
"We aren't signing the papers 'Lex but thanks. We are going out to dinner later. Maybe after I dry his pants." I said looking at the big wet spot as Beckett's cheeks flushed red.
"Well, why don't you both come and explain your ceiling to Jack and Rian because they want to know how you did it." Alex began to walk away as I looked at Beckett leading him into the laundry room.
"Um here, these should probably fit you. They are my dad's if they don't there is probably merch in one of the spare rooms that should fit you. Just put them in the dryer and start them. I am going to see if the morons have fucked up my room yet." I said and walked out of the laundry room and toward the stairs.
I walked into the room and looked in my closet pulling out my new guitar and began to sit and try and tune it. Jack and Alex both cringed at my sad attempt before Jack just ripped the instrument out of my hands and tuned it for me.
"Well, we know what to get her for Christmas now," Rian said and laid back down on my floor.
I jabbed his side with my foot as he grabbed my ankle pulling me off the bed. I winced rubbing my ankle slightly and Alex raised an eyebrow at me. Beckett walked in before I could be interrogated.
"Ah, you did it finally. How did the zero VOC paint work? Did they suspect anything as you hid out in here?" Beckett said and sat down beside me.
"No, but hand me the flashlight please Robert," I asked smiling as Rian glared at me before handing me the flashlight.
I flashed it up at the ceiling a few before going and turning off the main light. I closed my blinds and then closed the bathroom door. My room was now for the most part pitch black except the ceiling. I turned on a bedside light I had found for children that projected clouds on the ceiling. You could still clearly see the stairs I had painted though.
"Holy shit this is cool," Jack said looking up at the ceiling and put the guitar back in my closet.
"What the hell Logan, why didn't I know you could paint?" Rian asked as I shrugged.
"It never came up. Okay, so dumb-dumbs I did my room as on point as possible. So," I leaned into my bedside table and got out a laser pointer clicking it at the wall then the ceiling.
"That star right there is Polaris, and then this is the big dipper," I began to point out different constellations not having enough room to paint the whole sky and how it changes over time.
"Shit, how do you know this?" Jack said and pointed his phone at me.
I had a feeling he was recording me as Alex just giggled quietly beside him. I glared at him before flipping him off. Jack smiled and I pointed the laser light at him. Rian patted my knee as Beckett held my left hand. I looked at Rian as he sat up.
"As cool as this is, if I am not back home soon I'll probably crash here. This is really cool kid. If you ever want to do some panting I am pretty sure my house has some blank walls." Rian said and walked out my door as I smiled.
"Can I come by tomorrow?"
"Don't you have packing you should be doing?" He chuckled then looked at me again.
"Yeah, you can come by tomorrow. You can paint the spare bedroom if you want." Rian kissed my forehead and told me to be good as he left us finally.
"Okay, so Alex where is Sirius?" Jack asked and Alex pointed up to the one directly above my bed.
"She put it a little off it's not a traditional night sky, but it is art. She made it her own." Alex leaned down from sitting on the bed and squeezed my shoulders.
"How does everyone know where stars are but, me?" Jack whined as Beckett put his head back to look at Jack.
"Don't worry dude, I am just as lost here. I know Polaris is like the North Star or something like that," Beckett said as Alex and I groaned in sync.
We sat in my room for a few more minutes before Dad came in with a set of pants. Beckett quickly got up and went into my bathroom putting his pants back on. Dad gave us all a weird look turning the lights back on. I never really told dad or mom I was painting my ceiling. It also never really came up. They would also be highly upset if I told them I had been standing on various objects to paint my ceiling. I had to be very careful to not drip paint and to allow it time to dry properly and it was a lot of mixing and not getting caught.
"Are you guys staying for dinner?" Dad asked after flipping on the lights.
"Yeah, you know I am always up for Sarah's cooking," Alex said and texted his wife.
"Um yeah, can we talk about something though you, me, and Alex?" Jack asked and I looked at him as he sounded nervous.
"Sure, you gonna be okay in here sweetheart?" Dad looked at me and I nodded smiling.
Beckett came back into the room and dad told him to watch me. I rolled my eyes once the door was shut I went to the bathroom and dug under the counter. I got out a few acrylic paints and brushes. I went to the small closet beside my room where I kept my more everyday wear and shoved them to one side. Beckett came and sat beside me. I began to pour my pant carefully into the pans and mix it careful. Beckett let his fingers brush my face as I began to brush the wall.
"What are you painting now?" He asked as I began to make small brush strokes.
"Wings," I said half-jokingly.
I made that pun a lot to the song Paint You Wings. I painted a few different flowers none of which were making me feel the greatest. I then painted a ton of dead ones and leaves just at the bottom of my closet. I heard a knock at my door and rushed out of the closet finding a place to put my brush and paint where it wouldn't go anywhere. Dad popped his head in and I smiled waving at him.
"Come on sweetheart, let's go have a talk yeah?" Dad asked as Beckett smiled nodding and walked downstairs toward the voices not before running back up looking at his watch.
"I gotta go. I'll text you before bed." He kissed me before running out and yelling bye to everyone.
"Logan, I know," Dad said and I looked at him a little confused.
"Jack invited you back on tour. He and Alex really want you to come and you told Jack no. I thought this was your dream? Is there something more I need to know or that you want to talk about? Does this have to do with Beckett? Are you pregnant again or think you are?" Dad rambled as we stood in a hallway.
"No, I just- It doesn't feel right going. I feel like a burden to everyone and I shouldn't have to feel that way. No, I'm not pregnant or think I am. Beckett and I aren't sexually active right now. We haven't been in a while. No this doesn't have to deal with Beckett." I said smiling up at him and it was like he read through my lies.
"You haven't been sleeping, have you? This also has to deal with Beckett doesn't it?" Dad sighed and I desperately want to have this conversation with mom now so I began to walk toward the smell of food.
"Logan," dad groaned pulling out my name.
Alex and Jack came into the kitchen watching us hoping to learn something from our family dynamics maybe? Alex said Lisa was coming over and I nodded and shrugged.
"Come on kiddo, you gotta let someone in. Why aren't you telling me, I'm your dad and I'm just concerned,"
"Brendon they were going to move in together. She applied for colleges. I think she is just being careful. Maybe it will be good for her moving in with Beckett for a little while." Mom said to dad and I looked between them as they talked with their eyes.
"This is weird," Jack mumbled to Alex as I looked at them nodding.
"I just- I want you to come. You can use my piano just please come." Dad began to plead like a child getting chants from Alex and Jack.
"Come with us, Come with us, Come with us," they chanted and I shook my head laughing.
"Fine don't come, be a loser like that." Jack stuck his tongue out at me as I did it back.
"I never said I wasn't coming. I just said I didn't know its like six days till tour. I kind of was hoping we could be home for Christmas. Not that I don't want to celebrate Christmas with this sorry bunch. I just was hoping to have a proper holiday." I whispered the last part as Brendon hugged me.
"There is a heart in there deep, deep down," He shook my body a little bit and I rolled my eyes as mom just looked at us laughing.
"You're coming whether you want to or not," Dad said and went upstairs probably to pack my bags.
Shit my wall. It held more than just some painted flowers. It held names and secrets.