Rich groaned loudly. He had a pounding headache that seemed to worsen by the second. He really didn't want to open his eyes, he knew if he did some blinding light might make his head worse. He took a few deep breaths preparing himself for that light. He opened his eyes slowly to be greeted with... nothing. There was nothing. He looked around and saw nothing. Just darkness.
"Hello?" Rich called getting up from the pitch black floor "anybody there?"
There was no answer.
"Please anybody!" Rich called once again "is anybody out there."
"Well I almost wasn't."
Rich flinched at the sound of the voice. He turned around to be greeted with his squip. Evil Kermit.
"What do you want?" Rich growled.
He was terrified really. That thing had made him miserable for years but he had to be strong. He couldn't let his squip get to him ever again.
"Right now?" The squip pondered "probably a nap."
"Christ" Rich breathed out "I can't believe your back."
"I never really left Rich" The squip sighed "it's been painful really I'm not the spring chicken I once was."
"Clearly" Rich rolled his eyes.
"One that's offensive and I have raised you better-"
"You didn't raise-"
"Two this isn't good news for you either."
"Explain" Rich folded his arms.
"I was getting to that" the squip said.
"Not fast enough" Rich continued to bicker.
"Oh I missed this bickering did you?"
"Shut up!" Rich insisted.
"Ouch words hurt Rich but I'll continue because your glaring at me and not gonna lie it's scary. Long story short you remember when you burned down your boyfriend's house right?"
Rich's glare only worsened "what about it?"
"Well you were in a coma like a bad one man and you were in this very same place."
"I don't remember any of that" Rich tested.
"Yep because you were unconscious I mean it was only like what two weeks?"
"How come I'm awake now then?" Rich ignores Kermit's question.
"Duh because it's been two and half weeks and you've finally woke up."
"It's been two weeks!" Rich exclaimed.
"And a half yes but that isn't the worst part" The squip continued with his explanation "back when you burned down the house I managed to pull you out of the coma but it took a lot of energy out of me."
"Why should I care about your energy?" Rich scoffed.
"Because Richard I can't pull you out of this one. We're stuck here."
Rich's hard expression fell, his arms dropped to his side and he couldn't seem to form a single sentence.
"Rich?"
"There has to be a way" Rich muttered.
The squip lay down on the hard, dark floor "believe me I wish there was."
"So I'm stuck here until I wake up naturally?" Rich asked.
The squip sighed "actually there's like a zero point one percent chance of that happening."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Nope the chances are we're stuck here until you know" The squip gestured as if he was slitting his throat.
Rich fell to the floor. It was over. He'd never see anyone he loved again. Not his friends not his family.
Not Jake.
Jake. His other half. The man who laughed at every single dumbass joke Rich made. Who would drop everything to be there for someone he cared about. Who would never leave his side no matter what. Rich thought about how Jake must be by his lifeless side right now. How miserable and worried he must be and the worst part was Rich wasn't coming back to assure him that he was okay.
Everything he had ever wanted and needed in his life was slipping away from him. An empty feeling grew in Rich's stomach as he brought his knees to his chest. He curled up and let the tears roll down his face. There was no point in hiding anything anymore.
"Stop sulking you're making me bummed" The squip sighed.
"Oh I'm sorry" Rich snapped sarcastically "I'll stop sulking over the fact that I'm as good as dead."
"Ugh you don't have to be a moaning Martin about it geez."
Rich bit his lip to keep himself from screaming and just flipped his squip off instead. The tears hadn't stopped.
The squip looked him up and down "Alright Rich there may be a way."
Rich looked up "what?"
"The chances are really slim but if I can get an energy source then we're home free."
"What kind of energy source" Rich asked while wiping his stained cheeks.
"A lot of Mountain Dew green."
"Where am I supposed to find that?" Rich scoffed "I mean look around there's nothing in sight."
"That's why I said the chances are slim Rich."
"Oh come one" Rich threw his hands up in the air with frustration "you're a supercomputer can't you contact someone?"
"I can only contact other squips!"
Rich was about to snap back when an idea popped into his head. It was a selfish idea he knew but it was the only way.
"Could you contact one in your state?" Rich asked.
"I'm sure I could do something as simply as that."
"Good" Rich grinned "now what are the rules to this whole thing."
The squip rolled its eyes. Quite a sight to see evil Kermit rolling its eyes actually "I can only contact Squips I know."
"So I'm presuming you don't Jake's squip?"
"Nope."
Rich was expecting that. It didn't throw off his plan one bit "what about a squip that looks like Keanu Reeves?"
"Keanu!" Kermit laughed in a weird puppet sort of way "man of course I know him."
"Could you contact him?"
"And say what exactly?"
"Tell him to get a message to Jeremy. Explain everything."
"Alright" The squip stood up "I have to concentrate while I do this so shut up."
It took all of Rich's will power not to speak up. The squip stayed off into space and within a matter of seconds it flopped back down.
"Done" It said.
"Really that's it?" Rich question it skeptically.
"I told you it was easy Richard."
"So" Rich tapped his foot "what do we do now?"
"Wait."
Said like it was so easy.
Just wait.