Jongin and Taemin were kissing each other as they made their way through Shinee's dorm, ending up in Taemin's room with the slightly older man underneath the younger on top of the bed.
Jongin moved his lips to Taemin's throat, smirking against his skin as he pressed open mouth kisses to it.
"You didn't tell me that Sehun knew."
Jongin glanced at Taemin, raising an eyebrow - out of all times to bring up any of their bandmates. "Yeah he found out before you all went on tour. I made the mistake of telling Suho I was going out to meet Sehun for lunch - cause he was already gone from the dorm when I went to leave and I didn't tell Sehun. He went back to the dorm, Suho asked questions, Sehun took pity upon me and didn't tell Suho he had no clue where I was. He kind of put things together after that."
Taemin grinned slightly, "Guess we're in luck then that he decided to pity you."
Jongin shrugged, pressing his lips against Taemin's throat again. "Can I just get back to fucking you now?"
Taemin shakes his head, and Jongin thinks he's joking for a second until he gently shoves Jongin off to the side a bit. "Nope. Cause you fucking me has meant rough and fast the last few times and I'm not in the mood for rough and fast - makes me feel like your dirty little secret Kim Jongin. And I don't like feeling like that."
Jongin quirked an eyebrow, confusion and slight amusement written clearly across his face. "Aren't we kind of each others dirty little secrets though?"
"You're not mine." Taemin replied, his face closing off - becoming a blank look up at Jongin. "I'm tired of the sneaking around and the having to find people to lie for us to cover up the fact that you're off with your boyfriend."
"C'mon Taem. Let's not talk about this right now."
"When are we gonna talk about it then Jongin? I'm moving out of the dorm tomorrow. I'll be back at my parents house and we both know good and well that you're not going to come over to my parents house to spend time with me."
"I can't because they'll start to think-"
"Oh yeah God forbid anyone starts to think that you may actually be in love with a man." Taemin said, twisting his way out from underneath Jongin and moving to the opposite side of the bed. "Just go on back to your dorm, Jongin."
Jongin let out a sigh, "Taemin - come on. Don't be like this."
Jongin heard the door to the dorm opening out in the living room - figured it was the rest of Shinee. Taemin sat up, looking back over at Jongin with anything but a friendly look on his face.
"Get out, Jongin." He said, loud enough for whoever was in the living room to hear.
Jongin heard footsteps coming toward the hallway and got up from the bed, shaking his head. "Fine Taemin. Call me whenever you're over whatever the hell this is." He said, grabbing his suit coat and walking to the bedroom door.
Jongin was met by Jonghyun and Kibum at the end of the hall. "What's going on? Everything okay?" Kibum asked, shooting Jongin a worried glance.
"He's just.. he's being a brat so I'm gonna head on out. I told him to message me or call whenever he's ready to talk." Jongin said, shaking his head. "Sorry guys."
And with that Jongin left the dorm. Kibum and Jonghyun looked over at each other and Jjong sighed, shaking his head slightly.
Kibum shot him a small smile, "Come on - it's not like we didn't have our issues at the start too. You go spend the night in there with Taeminnie and make sure he's alright."
"You sure?" Jonghyun asked.
Kibum nodded, "Yeah of course I am. Taemin could probably use someone to talk to about whatever it is that just went down."
"Thanks Kibum - for being understanding about this all." Jonghyun said, smiling and pressing a kiss against Key's lips before turning and walking down the hallway.
Jonghyun walked into his and Taemin's shared room, finding Taemin sitting up in the corner of his bed - hugging his knees up close to his chest, forehead leaning against his knees.
"So you wanna talk about it?" Jonghyun asked, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.
Jonghyun was trying extremely hard to reserve judgement and not immediately jump to the conclusion that whatever fight they had had was a hundred percent Jongin's fault.
Taemin shrugged his shoulders, "Not really."
"Did Jongin do anything that I'm going to want to go kill him over? Did he hurt you? Did he pressure you? Was he too rough?"
"No."
"So what happened then?"
Taemin looked up at Jonghyun and sighed, "It's stupid really. I just - he hasn't said that he loves me yet and for some reason it got to me tonight."
Jonghyun nodded, turning to sit fully facing Taemin. "I get it. You know how long it took me to tell Kibum that I loved him? It took me close to a couple years I think. It's not that I didn't love him from the start, hell I probably loved Key quicker than he did me. But I just couldn't bring myself to say it."
"It's not just that though, Jjong. I'm tired of feeling like his dirty secret that he has to keep hidden away from the world. Only one of his bandmates knows about us and that's only cause Sehun was used by Jongin for a lie about where he was going and Sehun found out."
"You knows it's not just that simple though, Tae. As much as it sucks, truth is it would be a risk to all of our careers to come out and be public about our relationships."
It was the truth - as much as both Jonghyun and Taemin wished it wasn't. And deep down Taemin knew Jonghyun was right, but that didn't mean he didn't wish Jongin didn't care just as much though.
Hell even if Jongin had just said that he wanted to tell the world about them, it would have made a difference in how Taemin had reacted to Jongin's comment about them being each others dirty little secrets.
But with Jongin not seeming to even want to be open about them being together, as unlikely as it seemed to be an option for them, it stung when he made the comment that should have came off as a joke. But Jongin didn't even seem open to the idea at any point in their lives together, Taemin felt like a second thought - like he was just there out of convenience for Jongin.
Jonghyun sighed, "Taem - you can't let every little thing bothering you turn into a 'kick Jongin out' worthy event. I get that it's frustrating to put up with Jongin not wanting to be open about your all's relationship, but it's not worth it blowing up into a bigger than needed argument."
Taemin nodded, "I know - I just couldn't help it cause he didn't seem to get why I was upset about the fact that he doesn't even really want to spend a lot of time together if it means we have to spend our time in front of other people who aren't currently aware of us."
"Why won't he? I mean even if you all keep up the facade of just being friends, why can't you all just hang out in front of people? Like when you go to your parents house tomorrow, why can't Jongin go over and help you move in? Spend time over there?"
Taemin shrugged, glancing around the room. "I don't know. He just doesn't want to spend too much time together in front of people, says they'll start getting suspicious of us being together if we spend that much time."
"Which you are. So if people start getting suspicious let them get suspicious."
"I know. That's what I think. I know my parents won't give a shit if Jongin is over there all the time, but he freaks out at the idea of someone getting suspicious about us being together."
Jonghyun let out a deep breath. He didn't know how to go about fixing whatever the issue was between Taemin and Jongin. His automatic reaction was to blame Jongin - and honestly the more he heard, the more it seemed right to blame Jongin for the argument. But he also knew just blaming Jongin wouldn't help the situation any in the long run.
"What was it you told me back when you and Jongin first got together and I didn't approve of you dating him at all? You told me that Jongin was scared of accepting himself and that's why he called you what he did. So sounds to me like Jongin is still scared of accepting himself."
Taemin met Jonghyun's eyes again, nodding slightly. "I just - I don't know how to help him. All I want is to spend time with Jongin whenever the chance comes up. But the chances of spending time with him gets knocked down a ton because we either have to find someone to lie for us or sneak off to a practice room - or up until now hide away in here."
"You're going to have to give him time, Taemin. Talk with him about it - just don't throw him out every single time you all don't agree about something." Jonghyun said, "I'm still not sold on Jongin being the right person for you, but he's not that bad of a guy. And getting thrown out every time he says something wrong isn't going to help the situation."
●
Taemin had waited a few hours, it had to be after one in the morning now, and then began heading through the building to EXO's dormitory. He knew Jongin had said to call, but Taemin felt like a trip to see him in person would be better for the moment than a call would.
Admittedly, Taemin was still kind of upset over the whole mess that had gone on earlier. He still didn't understand Jongin's refusal to be seen out in public or in front of people who didn't currently know they were together - even if they didn't act as a couple.
But he was going to attempt to just ignore his feelings of doubt about them for a little while and just actually talk to Jongin, even if it didn't have anything to do with what their argument had been over. And maybe Taemin showing up at the EXO dorm would force Jongin to consider them not exactly sneaking around anymore.
Taemin quickly knocked on the door before he had a chance to talk himself out of being at EXO's dorm without talking to Jongin about it first. After a couple minutes, Kyungsoo opened the door - his eyes widening ever so slightly.
"Hey - I'm here to see Jongin." Taemin said, stepping around Kyungsoo and into the dorm.
"Sure. His rooms that -"
"I know." Taemin said, walking toward the room that he knew belonged to Jongin. God knew he had snuck into the room enough times to know which one was Jongin's. He could probably find the room in his sleep.
Taemin didn't even make it to the door before it opened, revealing Jongin standing there in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. Behind Taemin, Kyungsoo shut the dorm door and walked past them back into his own room.
"You wanna come in? Or should we talk out here?" Jongin asked quietly.
"Whatever you want to do."
Jongin nodded, and walked the rest of the way out of his room. "Let's talk out here then." He said, walking over to one of the couches and sitting down - patting the space beside him.
Taemin walked over and sat down on the same couch, leaving about a foot of space between them. "I'm sorry for earlier."
"No - I'm sorry." Jongin said, shaking his head. "I was wrong for calling you my dirty little secret."
"But I shouldn't have pushed the issue."
Jongin reached over and intertwined their hands on the couch between them. "Maybe. But you were right for calling me out about not going to be coming over to your family's house."
"Aren't you worried that any of your bandmates could walk in here right now? And see us sitting here, holding hands?"
Jongin had done a lot of thinking in the short walk back to EXO's dorm from Shinee's. And as scared as he was at the idea of someone accidentally finding out about them and it getting back to their management - he understood why Taemin had gotten upset. Because all the sneaking around Jongin had made them do had to have eventually took it's toll on Taemin.
"Well first off, I know more than half of them are passed out right now. And secondly if they do we'll deal with it."