Taemin and Kai had known each other since before the beginning of their careers. They met while in school, while being trainees. And while Taemin has more than not always been comfortable with who he is, Kai wasn't - not at the beginning at least.
"Jongin." Taemin said, smiling over at the slightly shorter boy standing in the practice room.
He was beyond glad to catch Jongin, Taemin had been busy with his hyungs from Shinee ever since he had been placed with them - and he hadn't seen Jongin in what felt like forever.
They had debuted last year and Taemin had been busy ever since. It had been too long.
"What?" Jongin asked, looking over.
"How have you been doing?" Taemin asked, giving Jongin a once over. He was all too aware that Jongin had changed since the last time he had seen him.
Jongin was taller now - almost as tall as Taemin, probably wouldn't be much longer until he was taller than Taemin despite their year difference in age. His voice was deeper. His face was -
Taemin looked down at the floor, trying to hide the blush he felt on his face.
Jongin shrugged, "Been doing fine. Practicing all the time."
Taemin nodded, glancing up at Jongin again as soon as he felt like the blush wasn't too obvious. "You shouldn't be working too hard."
Jongin let out a laugh, shaking his head - looking away from Taemin. "Easy to say once you've debuted."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying that I have to practice this hard. I should be practicing even harder, Taemin. I have to keep up with you somehow and not everyone can have it as easy as you do."
Taemin raised an eyebrow, shocked at hearing the words. "What?"
"Not everyone can be a prodigy, Taem. I'm certainly not. But you are." Jongin said, shaking his head again. He walked over to where his backpack sat on the floor. "Look - I've gotta go. I have this date with one of the girls."
A date.
With one of the girls who was a trainee at SM as well.
"Sure. Look, Jongin - I -"
"I don't have time for this, Taem. I'll see you later."
"Jongin - I love you."
Jongin stopped, not turning around to look at Taemin. "I'm not a fag, Taemin. I'm not a fag like you." Then he hurried out the door of the practice room before letting out a mumbled, "Sorry hyung." after it sounded like he ran into something or someone.
Jonghyun entered the room almost as soon as the words 'sorry hyung' left Jongin's mouth. "Hey, you okay?"
Taemin spun around, looking at Jonghyun as he nodded quickly. "Yeah - yeah I'm fine."
Jonghyun nodded slowly, sad smile on his face. "If you say so. Look, don't worry about Jongin okay?"
"Why would I worry about him?" Taemin asked, letting his eyes drop down from Jonghyun's gaze. Taemin felt Jonghyun's hand on his shoulder.
"I know you care about him - and worry about him - more than anyone else would deem you should. I get it though. I understand and I'm not going to tell you it's stupid or you should find a girlfriend - I'm not one of those people, Tae."
Taemin nodded slightly, "I know Jjong. I just - it's stupid really. Jongin and I, theres no way he'd -"
"Like someone like you?"
Taemin looked up, meeting the piercing gaze he knew he'd find. "How did you?"
Jonghyun smiled, "Cause I paid attention, Taemin. Plus it's not like you're the first or the only one - you know."
■
Lucifer had just come out. Taemin had a couple weeks until they were going to be extremely busy again - promoting the new song, promoting the new album, prepping for tour.
Jonghyun and Key were a couple. Taemin was the only person who really knew. Both Jjong and Key were worried that Minho and Onew wouldn't take it as well as he did.
But really - did Taemin have the option to not be supportive of them? They took care of him. All of his hyungs in Shinee were like his legitimate older brothers - they might as well be blood related - but Key and Jonghyun were even more so like older brothers to him.
Whenever he needed to vent about something, they were the two he went to. And in return, he covered for them about their relationship. So what if he had to go sit at a coffee shop somewhere for a few hours under the guise of being out with Key and Jjong - while they were actually out somewhere down the road on a date.
Taemin was on the way to practice with the rest of Shinee when he passed by the practice room - when he saw Him.
Jongin.
In the middle of a group that consisted of eleven other guys. Dancing his ass off. Must have been his new group, Taemin had heard that Jongin had been placed into a new group set to debut eventually. He was taller than Taemin now - something that didn't surprise Taemin. He always figured Jongin would end up taller than him.
Jongin let out his laugh - the laugh that used to be so familiar to Taemin - and Taemin felt his heart leap. He didn't even notice that he had stopped fully in front of the doorway until Jongin met his eyes, cutting his laugh off as soon as he did.
Taemin began walking down the hallway again, trying to hurry off hopefully before Jongin realized it had been him standing there. They hadn't talked since the incident, as Taemin had begun referring to it.
"Taemin! Taem!" The deeper than before voice hollered from behind him.
Taemin sped up down the hallway and so did the footsteps behind him until he could tell Jongin was running as fast as he could.
He felt the hand on his arm, jerking him to a stop. "Hey - Taemin."
Taemin turned around, finding Jongin standing there - smiling brightly. "What?"
"I want to talk to you." Jongin said, shrugging slightly. "I'm sorry, Taem. For what I said."
Taemin nodded, "Forget about it. It's in the past."
"I can't just forget about it, I was an asshole for saying that. For calling you a fag. I was just - I was scared, Tae." Jongin's hand slid down Taemin's arm, finding his hand.
"Scared of what?" Taemin asked, looking down at their hands which were intertwined.
"Scared of you honestly." Jongin replied, "I wasn't sure how to handle what you said. You're practically a damn prodigy, Taemin. You're amazing at dancing and singing and I - I'm still a trainee."
"I don't care that you're still a trainee, Jongin. I was a trainee at one point too."
"You were a trainee for three years, Taemin. Because you're amazing. Three years is almost unheard of - it's crazy. And I was intimidated. And when you said what you said - I didn't know what to say."
"Well you definitely could have chosen about fifty other things to say." Taemin answered.
"The idea of you terrified me, Taem. I haven't liked any other guys, you're it. And I didn't know how to handle it."
"Taemin! Come on!" Jonghyun's voice came from up the hallway. Taemin glanced over his shoulder to find his favorite hyung standing maybe ten feet up the hallway, a not-so-friendly look on his face.
"You better go." Jongin said, nodding. "I don't think he likes me much."
■
Jonghyun had been worried about Taemin ever since the original Jongin incident at the practice building. And when he saw Taemin in the hallway talking to Jongin, he only began worrying more.
He knew better than anyone in their business that there was plenty of guys who would look down upon people like Taemin, for only who he was interested in. And he thought Jongin was going to be one of those guys after the first incident.
But when he saw Jongin running up to Taemin in the hallway, he knew anyone else would have seen their conversation as two friends making up after a stupid argument. But Jonghyun saw it moreso as Jongin having realized that he could use Taemin to his own advantage.
Jonghyun knew plenty of guys within their business who weren't gay or bisexual by any stretch of the mind. But they would use any true gay or bisexual idol for sex when they didn't want to be in an actual relationship.
It was easier to use some other guy than a girl. Because there was a stigma around the LGBTQ community within their world, so when you ditched the person you were using for sex - they're a lot less likely to speak out about how you actually are if they would then be risking their own career in the process.
So after witnessing both incidents, Jonghyun figured Jongin was just looking for that - someone he could screw when he wanted and leave whenever he felt like it. And Jjong didn't want that for Taemin - he didn't want that for anyone really, but especially not Taemin.
Taemin hadn't really seemed to be accepting of himself when Jonghyun had overheard his and Jongin's discussion, he didn't need to have someone use him like that as soon as he did accept himself.
So he had interrupted them talking in the hope that maybe somehow it would end whatever had been about to take place. He hoped that maybe due to his interrupting that Jongin would decide to pursue someone else for whatever game he had planned.
But he needed to make sure and that's why he had pulled Taemin off to the side after practice.
"So what was that about in the hallway earlier?"
"Jongin was apologizing for what happened." Taemin said, shrugging.
"Good. He needed to." Jonghyun said, taking a drink of water.
"He - ugh - also said he was just scared of the idea that he likes me as well."
Red flag number three.
"Sure he does. You're a great kid, Taem. And I hate to burst your bubble, but I doubt he's serious about it."
■
Jongin was crazy. That was confirmed with the text that he sent at two in the morning. EXO had recently debuted and he hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Taemin much since their run in at the practice studio, the one that Jonghyun interrupted.
He knew Taemin was in town even without having to check Shinee's promotion schedule. Baekhyun had made mention of seeing Taemin at the dorms earlier in the day.
Jongin: meet me at
the training building
in twenty minutes?
The text showed that it was delivered, but he still hadn't gotten a response by the time he quietly left the EXO dorm. He had stuck around the dorm for as long as he could, nut he couldn't risk waiting around any longer for a text back from Taemin or else he wouldn't be able to make it to the building before the time he had sent Taemin.
The training center was open around the clock for anyone who wanted to get in a little extra practice when they couldn't sleep. And it was right down the street from their dorm building.
Jongin hurried inside the buildings front door, stopping at the desk designated for security. He quickly signed his name to the list and looked up through the names before his.
Lee Taemin. Practice Room 217.
"217. I'm meeting Taemin here." He said, smiling at the guard.
The guard nodded and grabbed a security key, handing it over the desk to him. "Here you go, Mr. Kim."
"Thanks." He took the key card and quickly walked toward the elevator.
After a short elevator ride up, he unlocked the practice room door and walked in - finding Taemin sitting on one of the couches shoved up against one of the walls.
"Took you long enough. Kind of thought you weren't coming." Taemin said, flashing him a grin.
"You didn't reply to the text."
"Well I mean obviously I was going to come. I didn't think I needed to point out that of course I would meet you here."
Jongin laughed, shaking his head as he walked across the room and sat down beside Taemin.
"So why'd you wanna meet up here?"
"I wanted to talk to you, wanted to see you before either of us gets busy again."
"Yeah." Taemin said, nodding. "So what? What do you want to talk about?"
"About what we said last time we ran into each other-"
"I get it, Jongin. You felt bad for what you say. It's forgotten, don't worry about it."
"That's not what I mean. I mean about when I said that I liked you-"
"Well if you're going to say you didn't mean that, it's okay I get it."
"Taemin! Let me get a thought out!" Jongin said, shaking his head and letting out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not trying to say that I didn't mean that. I meant it. Trust me."
"Oh." Taemin said, shock edging into his voice. "Really?"
"Yeah really, Taem."
■
It was quiet within the small practice room. One of the places that they had taken up an almost permanent residence at. They worked around the obvious restrictions to their - whatever it was.
Taemin wasn't sure if it could be called a relationship since they hadn't even gone on an official date. And since they were technically hiding in a practice room every time they were together.
Jonghyun's words constantly replayed in his mind, that Jongin probably wasn't serious about this and that he was probably just confused. Taemin knew Jonghyun was just looking out for him, but he was really hoping he was wrong.
"You know you could come over to our dorm." Taemin stated while him and Jongin were laying side by side in the middle of the floor.
"Nah I probably shouldn't. Wouldn't want your bandmates getting suspicious."
"You never come over, so what is there to be suspicious about? And plus the guys don't care, they'd probably just be glad that I was hanging out with someone else instead of bothering them." Taemin replied, smirking slightly. "Plus I'm sure Jjong will be rooming with Key tonight which means -"
"No. I'm not staying overnight." Jongin said, shaking his head.
"Why not?"
"Cause I know what you want to do."
"And what's so bad about that?" Taemin said, challenging tone to his voice. He sat up and looked down at Jongin - who was staring up at the ceiling.
"Because there is no way either of us are ready for that." He replied, shaking his head.
Taemin let out a huff. He knew Jongin was no where near a virgin, there were plenty of stories to the contrary floating around SM - so there was no way that was the reason he was being so prudent with Taemin.
The stories that would float around SM were all ones that Taemin had heard the stories from practically all the girls within SM. Jongin was almost considered a man whore within their company.
Jongin looked over and met Taemin's eyes, "I don't want to just fuck you to fuck you, Taem. I don't want you to ever think that I'm just interested in you for sex."
"You don't have to prove anything to me."
"I know. But I just - I want to."
"Well then come to the dorm with me."
"Jonghyun Hyung will be there though - I don't think he likes me."
"He doesn't." Taemin said, shrugging. "He heard what you said. So of course he doesn't. But that doesn't mean you can't come over, in fact it means you should. To prove that you're a good guy."
Jongin sat up, letting out a sigh as he looked over at Taemin.
■
Jongin was surprised when Key greeted him with a smile, "Evening Jongin - you're just in time for dinner. Taemin, you're late." He said, disappearing into the kitchen as Jongin and Taemin walked into the dorm.
"So. Nice place." Jongin said, looking around.
Taemin let out a laugh, shaking his head. "I'm sure it looks just like your all's does."
"Not exactly like ours does." Jongin replied, shrugging as he smiled slightly. "Ours is split into two floors."
Jonghyun walked out of his and Taemin's bedroom, looking over at Jongin as he passed through the living room. "Hey Taem." He said, walking into the kitchen.
Taemin glanced over at Jongin, "Come on." He said, grabbing the taller male's hand. He led Jongin down the hallway to the room he shared with the second oldest Shinee member.
"This is my half of the room - and that's Jonghyun's half." Taemin said, pointing out the sides.
"I better stay on this side then." Jongin said, smiling and dramatically stepping onto the side that Taemin had pointed out as his.
"So dramatic. Jjong doesn't hate you, he just.... doesn't really think you're the best I could do." Taemin said, trying to choose his words carefully and pick as nice of a way to put it.
Jongin nodded, "No, he definitely hates me. I can tell that much."
"Guess you'll just have to prove him wrong then." Taemin said, leaning over and pressing his lips against Jongin's before Jongin could move out of his reach.
Taemin grinned as he pulled away. He was more touchy feely than Jongin was, that was for sure. Jongin always attempted to move away from Taemin whenever he went for a kiss unless they were definitely alone - and by that he always meant that he'd only kiss Taemin when they were in a practice room.
"Taem." Jongin said, shaking his head.
"What? It's not like there's anyone in the room. Plus it's only my hyungs here anyway."
"Yeah exactly. Your hyungs are here." Jongin said, glancing over at the doorway quickly to make sure no one was standing there.
"It's fine, Jongin. They don't care."
"Ah really? And that's why you haven't mentioned that you're gay to half of them right?"
It was a low blow to mention it - Jongin knew that. He knew the stigma that came with being gay in the Kpop industry, and it wasn't like he was being exactly honest about being bisexual himself. So he knew he was aiming low with that comment.
"That's not fair, J." Taemin replied, his face growing concerned. "You know that. Besides the only person who would be coming in here is Jjong and he knows."