(don't hurt me anymore)
PROGRESS WAS MADE, Livia told herself.
She apologised to James and Jack. She told Lila and Brie, and for once, they all sat together during lunch (and everyone stared, confused, until they lost interest and returned to what they were doing). Sarah was enraged, but Livia decided that she didn't care, even as the red-haired girl sent her glare after glare. If looks could kill, Livia would be dead. But she wasn't. She was living, breathing, alive, everything Melody wasn't.
It hurt her.
But she wasn't alone now.
And for a moment, Livia finally understood:
She hid her pain of losing Melody behind layers and layers of masks of anger and hate, targeting them all towards James because there was no one else for her to blame (except maybe herself). When people are angry, they want to take their anger out on someone or something. James became her punching bag. Now that she had made up with James, there was no one and nothing to focus her rage and heartbreak on anymore. So, she turned back to the real thing.
In the end, it all boiled down to Melody. Everything she did was for Melody, and Livia didn't think it was necessarily healthy anymore. She needs to let go and move on. It's only right.
But Melody...
If Livia doesn't, who will keep her flame burning?
Certainly not Sarah. James had already more or less moved on, as with Jack. She didn't dare trust Miguel and Jessica- the former was the reason Melody is gone and the latter too unstable.
"This is the happiest I've seen you since you came back," Brie was saying when Livia finally snapped out of her trance. The two girls were heading down to their last class of the day.
Livia smiled. "Yeah. I know. Finally got some stuff off my head."
"If only you had listened sooner," Brie whistled. "You gotta stop being so stubborn. We were scared we truly lost you."
Livia raised an eyebrow. "So you guys were discussing me. Guess I'm famous now," she teased, nudging the dark-skinned girl with her elbow.
"Don't flatter yourself," Brie replied with a roll of her eyes. "We were just concerned. I mean, not just me. All of us. You changed so much it was...unsettling."
That was another thing Livia had finally realised. No one else had really changed. She was the only one who truly did. Change wasn't her enemy. It was the exact opposite. She needed to change to move on. If she didn't, she'd be stuck in that period of time all her life, depressed and crying herself to sleep every night.
"I know."
"For once, I'll take you word on it," Brie sighed, blowing a lock of stray hair out of her face. "It's nice to see you're not trying to kill the twins anymore. Jack was always innocent anyways."
"You still have that crush on him?"
"Oh, darling, I moved on from that years ago," Brie laughed, rolling her eyes so hard Livia thought it was going to roll off her face. "That was just me being stupid."
"You had a crush on me?"
That was Jack's voice, as he walked up to join the two girls with a flabbergasted look. "So James wasn't being dumb and totally obnoxious," he pondered aloud. "Wow. Guess he's a genius."
Brie fixed him with a nonplussed look. "You never realised? Seriously?"
"Hey. Look. I was dumb."
"Still are."
"I made mistakes. I learnt from them."
"Then why are you still so dumb?"
Jack glared at Livia. "You stole that from Olenna Tyrell. Thief. Copycat. Liar-"
"Fabulist. Fibster. Storyteller. Fabricator."
"Stop flexing your vocabulary," Brie sounded, exasperated. "We know we're stupid. No need to rub it in our face."
Livia shrugged. "At least I have something to flex."
"Hey! My dad's a great footballer! Your parents-"
"My dad basically owns one of the biggest juice companies in the world along with his brother. Your point?"
"You have to admit, though," Jack interjected, "Naturalis' apple juice is godly. I'm pretty sure Victoire still drinks a gallon a day."
"That's not healthy..." Livia frowned. "Your sister needs Jesus. Fast."
"I realised." Jack glared at Livia, but the girl simply shrugged. Brie watched on, amused, letting something that sounded like 'children' roll quietly out of her mouth. That earned her two glares, to which Brie rolled her eyes.
"Calm down, I'm just joking."
"Yeah, right," Jack shot, shaking his head. "You, Ms Carmen, are the childish one around here."
"Ha, please! Why you guys were in a hate triangle, I was out here living my life! I'm a genius, and you're just jealous."
"One," Livia began, "is hate triangle even a thing? Two, you literally just admitted to being dumb a few minutes ago. Brie, stop contradicting yourself."
Brie stuck her tongue out.
Children.
***
"How are we feeling today?"
"Why are we at the park?"
"We're here because we all need fresh air!" Lila grinned, dragging Livia and Brie by the hand deeper into the park. "Like, everyone's in such a good mood today, so I thought we could elevate it!"
"This is going to do the exact opposite. I'm sure of it," Livia deadpanned with a clap of her hands. "Thanks, Lila, you jinxed it."
"Don't be so sad and pessimistic," Lila bit. "Open up a little! Smile!"
Livia's mouth twisted even more into a frown. Lila let out a quiet sigh. "Livia, you bitch, loosen up a little."
Brie fought back a laugh. "She's Livia Wong. What did you expect? The words 'loosening up' aren't in her vocabulary."
Livia had a half-smile on her face. "I'm not that serious, Carmen."
Brie slanted her a look. "Uh, yes you are."
Livia shook her head. "You've always loved being dramatic."
"Uh, duh! It's why you two love me. C'mon, this is one of the few rare days here the sun comes out. We ought to enjoy it."
Livia wanted to argue that there truly wasn't much to do, but followed anyways. School would be over in two weeks. There were no more tests to study for.
"In two months, all of us will be scattered across the world."
Brie was heading to study in America. Lila had chosen some quiet college in Wales. Livia was going to stay here, too, but they were going to be so far away. It wouldn't be the same. Livia didn't think she and Lila would remain in close contact. Brie's going to be in another country.
It won't be the same ever again. Livia won't be a kid anymore. She's becoming an adult. And that means a brand new chapter of life.
A fresh new start, but keeping everything good from the last one. Everything will be alright.
Livia turned her head, about to say something, when a lock of dark hair caught her attention. Quickly, she shut her mouth, before saying, "Hey, you guys go on first. I got something to do."
Her friends seemed a bit confused, but simply nodded, leaving Livia behind. She sucked in a deep breath.
"Damini, right? Remember me?"
The girl looked up, nonplussed before a smile slowly crossed her face. "Livia, right?" She asked in that soft voice of hers. "Yes, I remember you. How have you been?
"Pretty good," Livia grinned. "You?"
"Well, life has been a bit boring, but I'm alright."
"Yeah, that's a common theme around here."
Damini frowned. "Is it? I was under the impression that everyone has exciting lives. Y'know, since everyone is practically a millionaire around here."
Livia let out a laugh. "Well, not all of them, I suppose. And when your entire life is exciting, things that normally might be considered exciting become... not."
"Did you ask Sarah?"
Of course she still remembers that. Livia stared at her for a moment, before slowly nodding. "I did."
"Did you like her answer?"
Livia shook her head.
"Good."
When Livia turned her head to continue speaking to Damini, she realised that the girl was already gone. Her mouth opened in surprise and shock, as she glanced around. After a few seconds of searching, she located Damini's dark hair. Upon careful inspection, Livia realised that Damini was hugging someone who looked a splitting image of her. A sister, perhaps, too young to be her mother. Perhaps cousin?
After a few moments, Damini sheepishly turned her head to smile at Livia. Damini must have been waiting here. The girl offered her a quick wave, which Livia quickly returned, beaming. The dark-skinned child mouthed a quick 'sorry' before vanishing into the crowd, hand-in-hand with the older woman. Livia let out a laugh.
When the crowd filed in besides her, pushing her to the corner, Livia's smile only grew as she lowered her head to the floor.
Everything's going to be okay.