Norah's POV
Sunday mornings were supposed to be quiet and soothing and have the sun shining through the fucking window or something. Instead, it was snowing outside, there were pots clanging in my kitchen, and I had actually been crying in my sleep. So, that was that. I ended up crawling out of bed and into the kitchen a few minutes later, only to find Russo attempting to cook while Tyler sat on the counter and watched in obvious amusement. His blue eyes flickered to me slightly as I entered before returning to his boyfriend.
"So I was looking at your google search history," He said casually.
I froze in my tracks. "What."
"Well, really, I was using your laptop to look something up and your google search history was just kind of there."
"Tyler ." He tugged his knees up to his chest. "Shawn Mendes . Mendes Enterprises. Top trends of fall. How endangered are bald eagles. Why does --"
"You're kidding."
"How to get over your ex boyfriend was the most recent. Anything you would like to tell me?"
"I'd like to tell you to go fuck yourself," I quipped, slumping back against the door frame. "And maybe I broke up with Shawn . Or, I sort of told him to either stay or that it was over. After I told him to leave. I was in a very emotional state and it was all very confusing.."
Both the boys were strangely silent on the subject. I wasn't really sure what to do with them both looking at me as if I were supposed to keep talking, so I made my way over to the coffee machine and began brewing a pot under their curious gazes. The breakfast blend began to pour out of the machine, filling the room with the refreshing aroma, and the boys still hadn't said a word. Which, considering they were the two most talkative people I know (I wasn't sure how they got along so well, really) was very strange and slightly terrifying.
"So," I said slowly, grabbing a mug out of the cabinet, "are we going shopping today, or..?" There was a slight pause.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I glanced over my shoulder at the two boys.
"Yes?" "
"Is there anything you need to do?" Tyler asked.
"Not that I can think of..." This time it was Russo .
"Tyler , are you not going to say it? I feel like you should say it." A pause and a glare. "Fine, whatever. Norah, why the fuck aren't you in mental breakdown mode right now? Christ, I mean, you punched a cabinet after you told him you loved him. And now you're not saying anything?" I turned around with my eyes narrowed onto the boys.
"Shawn and I are different. He can't be there for me, and I can't deal with that. I'm obviously very fucking needy and I drink way too much coffee and we're different. I'm not sure what else to say about the subject besides he told me he was coming and he didn't. So there."
"Jesus Christ," Tyler breathed, shaking his head slowly. "I am so glad I'm gay."
My lips pursed into a straight line. "Your stitches are showing, asshole."
* * * *
Really, I wasn't sure what to do about the whole breakup thing. It didn't seem real. Yelling at Shawn in the middle of the hospital hallway and watching Tyler gush blood and crying on Ian's shoulder and hugging Russo and listening to my mother rant about chickens just seemed like one big, very weird nightmare. I was emotionally exhausted by that point. Cosmo's 'Ten Ways To Get Over An Ex' told me that I was supposed to be sad for a little while and then bitch about it, but the thing was, I wasn't sad.
I was just sort of numb and all I could think about were Shawn's old warnings about relationships. More than that, I didn't want to talk about it. Because it seemed like one big fucking joke that all I wanted was a relationship with Shawn and I was also the one to end it. Naturally, I ended up stuffing my face with waffles before heading out to go shop with Russo and Tyler .
"Blue or green?" Tyler asked, holding up two beanies. I cocked my head to the side.
"Green, definitely."
"Thought so."
We sorted through the racks of clothes side by side, lapsed in a quiet silence because both Tyler and Russo were acting like one wrong word out of their mouths and I was going to snap. I hummed to myself as I tugged out a fitted red dress. "What do you think?"
"Well," He mused, "not sure about the neckline? I like the color, though, and the fit. Just not the neckline."
"Yeah, yeah," I agreed, shoving the dress back onto the rack. "I just remember Shawn liked that style dress, though, so -- I meant myself. I liked that style. Me. Have you taken your medicine this morning?"
"Oh my god." I turned back to the rack and tugged out the first random article of clothing I could find. "Maybe this one?"
"Norah."
"Is it that ugly?" Tyler gave me another bewilderment look and a shake of his head before walking away to the other side of the store, where Russo had picked out an array of hats and was motioning for him to come over. I stuck out my tongue at the pair as I pulled another dress to try on. The two boys were now (very obviously) whispering about me across the store, but I chose to ignore them and go back to figuring out what to buy, because Cosmo said to slightly make over my look. And it was at this exact moment that everything went to shit, because I was taking breakup advice from a magazine. My first reaction was to turn and look around wildly for the two boys. And then my second reaction was to fight back a scream, because Shawn had really walked away and left me in the middle of the hospital crying and that was so far from okay and I was so in love with him it hurt.
"It's happening!" I heard a voice shriek. And then I was being tugged out of the store and into the cool New York City area, where they hailed a cab and shoved me in the back.
"Norah," Tyler hissed, poking the side of my cheek. "Save the mental breakdown until we're out of the cab." I sniffled against his shoulder.
"I haven't cried since he left. And I really, really thought he would stay. I wanted him to stay even when I wanted him to go."
"I'm so confused," He mumbled, wiping my tears away. "And in case you were worried, I put those hats on hold so I could go back and get them once the mental breakdown is over."
"Save the hats." He brushed away another tear. "It's our new battle cry: save the hats, cover Tyler's stitches!"
"Not very uplifting, babe," Russo chimed in from the front of the cab. "Not really at all."
"Can we order a pizza?"
"We are in mental breakdown mode. That is so obviously a yes."
I let out a quiet laugh at that and the cab continued to drive through the city, eventually pulling up outside our comely apartment. We filed out one by one and made the climb up to our floor. Before we were even inside, Russo had already ordered our food. The couch turned into our little cuddling place and we piled in with blankets covering us and 2 Chainz splayed out over all of our legs. Once we were all settled (wrapped around each other in a giant heap of arms and legs and blankets), Tyler spoke.
"So what do you mean he never came?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"I called him, and he said he was on his way. And he didn't show up until, like, four hours later."
"Dick move," Tyler conceded. "What was his excuse?"
"Work. Is that even a question?" From the other side of Tyler , Russo let out a soft hum. "Listen, I'm going to be the non-biased voice of reason here because I like mended . Doesn't he run a fucking company? That he started? When he was like twelve?" I poked him with my toe.
"Twenty. Yeah, I mean, I know. But I think it would have really been okay if he had just told me he wasn't coming. It just made it so much worse to have to worry about him along with Tyler , y'know? I only wanted to think about Tyler ."
"Good girl," Tyler put in. "But I'm going to try and be another unbiased voice here. Maybe you both just sort of need to compromise? Like, he needs to learn what the hell a relationship is, and you need to stop expecting him to know everything. Just because Ian was literally the nicest boyfriend in the world doesn't mean everyone is."
"Shawn sent me a shit ton of flowers but he can't tell me he's not coming to the hospital. It doesn't make sense."
Tyler shrugged and ducked a little bit further under the covers. "Maybe you should talk to him."
"He was the one who walked away."
"You're the one who made him." My mouth dropped open in horror.
"That is not -- I didn't -- shit, did I?"
"I'm not Shawn ," Tyler said. "Just, think about it? I don't know. I think you should both think about it. You're both really stubborn." The room lapsed into a silence except for 2 Chainz purring and the TV playing in the background, and it stayed that way until the doorbell rang, signalling the arrival of our pizza. We all turned to look at the door at once, each obviously unwilling to move. Tyler's eyes flickered from me, to the door, then back to me.
"I can't get it because I don't have any hats. Which is your fault. So by default that responsibility falls to you."
* * * *
Shawn's POV
Waking up Monday morning, the first thing I thought was: it wasn't ever supposed to get to this point. It wasn't supposed to get to the point where holding her hand was casual, or making coffee in the morning was routine. It wasn't supposed to get to the point of a relationship. But somewhere between frustrating dinner dates and being dragged out to nights with her friends, I found myself hoping to wake up beside her every morning. I found myself enjoying every side of the dynamic relationship we had. I knew the entire time that it wouldn't work out, but I was too controlling and selfish to stop her hands from intertwining around mine.
For those very reasons, it was easiest to walk away from Norah and drown myself in work to forget. It was the one thing I had absolute control over, so when everything was slipping out of my grasp, it helped. So by the second day after I'd left her in the hospital, I'd slept for a total of five hours out of the fourth-eight and been through the entire financial roots of my company from the past three months to try and figure out where it got fucked up. Except I couldn't find it. I was becoming increasingly frustrated, which led to me wanting Norah, which led to more frustration. Even if she was fucking annoying sometimes, she was sure as hell what I needed. And if she needed me, I couldn't give that to her.
* * * *
My office was practically taunting me. It was cold and empty and represented everything Norah hated. The only good thing that had ever happened in there was the day she let me fuck her on the desk and that - that was exactly what I didn't want to think about. Except Norah's words were playing throughout my head over and over. I need you to be that person. I clicked the mouse pad and made the Mac Book light up on my desk, already notifying me to a meeting I had in thirty minutes and the never ending flow of emails that had started.
Everything in me screamed to go through all of them and make sure everything was okay. Instead, I was out of my desk and striding towards my secretary without even realising what I was doing. "Laura," I snapped, walking until I was leaning over her reception desk. "How long have you worked here?"
The young women blinked up at me. "Almost three years. Sir. Mr. Mendes ."
"Perfect. I have two things I need you to do. First, I want you to compile a list of every single employee here that I have fucked. Every single one. Do you understand?" I asked quietly.
She gulped and slowly nodded her head. "Then I want you to fire them. Every single one." If possible, her face paled another shade.
"Every single one?"
"Yes. If they have any complaints, tell them to talk to Hailey Bieber about it. Yes?"
"They won't do that," She replied meekly. "We're all too scared of Mrs. Bieber . No one will talk to her." I scowled down at the young woman.
"Exactly. Tell them they have one day to pack their shit and get out of my building. Second, out of the remaining receptionists, pick your absolute favourite. Best friend, whatever, I don't care. She's your new assistant. More secretaries, more shit to get done. Got it?" Laura's wirey fingers tittered across the keyboard and she nodded solemnly.
"Got it. Anything else, Mr. Mendes ?"
"That is all. When you've finished both of those things, I need you to into my office. Knock first. And if you have any problems completing the tasks I just gave you, you can pack your shit as well. Thank you, Laura."
With that, I stalked away, leaving a very baffled secretary in my wake. But as long as she got shit done, I could care less if she was confused about my sudden change in attitude. I could care less about almost anything right now except for figuring out how to be more efficient. Once I was safe inside my roomy office, I settled back into the smooth leather chair and propped my feet up on the desk. There were already hundreds of emails in my inbox, a stack of papers waiting to be filed, and meetings lined up the entire afternoon. I didn't want to deal with any of it. More than that, it was like I didn't need to deal with any of it. Half of the shit on my desk could be dealt with by someone else. The emails were probably all irrelevant. The resumes could be sent to a different level. Making sure to stay as cool and collected as possible, I jabbed my finger into the call button. I knew the number by heart and rambled it off without a second thought. I settled back in my chair as the phone rang, leg crossed at the ankles and forehead in my hands. There was a small click as she picked up the phone.
"Hailey Bieber ."
"Hailey ." She took in a sharp breath. "Mr. Mendes . I wasn't expecting a call."
"I do not really care what you were expecting, or doing at all, for that matter. I need you to contact all of the board members. And I want the CFO, the CMO, the CTO. Every C level executive. Tell them we have a meeting in my office at 2pm sharp. And Hailey ?"
"Yes?"
"I will not hesitate to fire you if you ever step out of line again. The only reason you are still around is because you are excellent at what you do, and god knows Justin isn't going to do it. Understand?" There was a pause from the other side of the line; one which dragged on much too long for my liking. Just as I was about to snap, her sultry voice came back through the line, calm and smooth.
"Got it, Mr. Mendes . Will that be all?"
I hung up the phone in response. Too much talking to Hailey meant she had too much time to taunt you with her words, too much time to pout her lips at you and widen her eyes. Too much time with Hailey meant that she'd have you wrapped around her finger before you knew it. That, unfortunately, was exactly why she was so damn good at what she did. I tossed my phone onto my desk in disgust before settling down to business. Before 2pm, I had a lot of shit to figure out. Because Norah was right. I should have been there.
* *. *. *.
It turned out that there was some rich guy in Ireland who was hell bent on investing in every company he could find, and by the time my 2 o'clock meeting had ended, we had already put together a profile and figured out the best way to make Craigen think it was impressive. So even if Norah wasn't going to be at my house after work, at least some things were falling into place. On the other hand, Ms. Jennifer was there with dinner already cooking and a tired smile on her face. I knew she was probably wondering why I was home so early.
"Shawn ?" She called as the door opened. Her eyes then widened as I stepped around the corner. "You're home early."
"Tired," I said quietly. "What did you make for dinner?"
"Just some chicken and rice. And I wasn't sure if Norah was here or not, but I assumed she was, so I made enough for two. Do you know what wine she likes? And is she okay with wheat bread? We're out of white."
"Bottle on the top shelf of the cooler. There's a lot because it's her favourite, so I bought a lot? And she pretends to like wheat bread, but she never actually eats any of it. I think she's too polite to complain. Do not make breakfast for two anymore." The housekeeper tensed over the stove.
"What do you --"
"Jennifer, don't."
"Do you want to talk about it?" I tapped my fingers against the counter slowly, lips pulled into a small frown.
"I can't be what she needs. I have too many things to do. It never would have worked out. No more questions."
"Did you do something?"
"I said no more questions," I snapped.
She held up the spatula in defence before turning back to the stove, stirring slightly over the steaming rice. I could practically feel the curiosity bursting off of her in waves, and sure enough, as soon as she moved to put the food on my plate, she was talking again.
"I can tell you're exhausted."
I narrowed my eyes onto the older woman. Unfortunately, it was practically impossible to be harsh on her considering she was the nicest person I had ever met and probably ever would.
"I was working late last night," I said briskly. "And thank you for dinner."
"That's what I figured. Does this have anything to do with Norah?"
"Jennifer."
"You need someone who you can tell things to," she said smoothly, turning to get the toast out of the toaster as she spoke. "I know I work for you, but you're like my son Shawn . I care about you. And you look exhausted. What is going on?" Scowling, I stabbed my fork in a way that might possibly be considered a little too violent.
"She broke up with me."
"Why?" "I already told you. "I can't be what she needs."
The housekeeper laughed quietly, corners of her eyes crinkling up.
"Shawn," she cooed, "you are the most determined man I know. If you love her, and I know you do, then you can figure out how to be what she needs. If you can start your own company when you're twenty years old, you can do that."
My mouth dropped open, and I was just about to snap at her when she walked around the counter and pulled me into a fierce, motherly hug. Her wrinkly hands ran soothingly up and down my back as she held me. "And Shawn ?"
"Yes?" I whispered.
"You don't have to control everything, okay? Let yourself breathe." I held her a little bit closer.
"I've never been in a situation like this."
"Because you've never let yourself be," she said simply, releasing me out of her embrace. "Figure it out, Mr. mendes . And I won't tell any of your employees that you actually have feelings."
"Shawn ," I corrected. "And good, I wouldn't want to shatter the illusion I've built up over the years. When you have time, will you bring some tea up to my office? I have a few files I need to go through and some things to finish up before I go to sleep."
She gave me a small, sad smile before nodding her head and turning to get me my drink. And I headed upstairs to my office to bury myself in work, because if I worked enough, then maybe I could forget why I was doing it in the first place.