If you are one of those people who love reading the Author's Note, I thank you so much ngayon pa lang. This just means that you are pretty concerned on what's running on my mind while writing my novels, tulad ng Slide!
I actually have an alternate ending for this novel. Gagawi siya sa direksyon na mapapaisip tayo kung nagkaroon ba ng happy ending si Virgo at Bree, kasi oo, medyo cliffhanger iyon hahaha~ I just fancied to make an ending like that (noong una) kasi iyon ang una kong naisip. At isa pa, gagamitan ko dapat iyon ng song na Aubrey para malungkot tayong lahat hahaha! Pero wala eh, masyado niyong minahal yung story, nakonsensya tuloy ako magsulat ng ganoong ending.
I used a lot of references for this novel— from Marilyn to JFK ('yung pinaka-obvious kaya may nakahalata) up to the Romanov family (tungkol ito sa Imperialismo at sa kinahinatnan ng pamilya nila na gusto silang patayin ng mga tao dahil sa palpak na pamamahala ni Tsar Nicholas II sa Russia— they are the last monarchs of Russian empire, btw.) And of course, a bit from Philippine history and societal/political issues. I dragged some names too para hindi tayo mafeel out of place sa universe ng story na ito (Ferdinand, Fidel.. and Cheska which can be shortened for Iska... and I named her that way para opposite siya ni Mayor Isko...) at 'yung tungkol sa nangyaring rape kay Bree, nalimutan ko na ang title ng documentary na reference ko niyon. Basta doon, noong mga 80s or 90s, kasagsagan ng mga pelikulang Bomba, gumagamit sila ng tape pantakip sa ano at napagsasamantahalan noon ang mga actress ng ganoong movie genre. It terrified me a lot it stuck in my mind for a long, long time kahit hindi ko napanood yung buong documentary kasi nagtutulug-tulugan ako nun, medyo nanainga lang sa pinapanood ng mga gising pa sa bahay at tuluyang nakatulog~
Nitong nakaraang mga novels ko, I had a feeling that it's stupid to put in the Author's Note the explanation of the theme of the novel. Kasi kung nabasa with comprehension naman 'yung kwento, hindi kailangan ng explanation pa. But to clarify my inspirations, here it goes, hahaha~ (Okay, serious na.)
The inspiration for this novel came from a personal experience. Sunod-sunod nung time na iyon ang natatanggap kong negative comments. Mula sa way ko ng pagsusulat na bakit hindi raw katulad ng ibang mga sikat na writers hanggang sa personal kong mga paniniwala at buhay. Sa totoo lang, medyo nagkaroon ako ng shock noon, kasi hindi pa ako nakakaranas ng ganoon at ang approach sa akin ay bilang isang manunulat kaya masakit din sa akin iyon. Masakit kasi manunulat ka pero personal ang atake sa iyo. Dahil sa mga nangyari, I have to admit, I am only human and got affected. Or maybe, I am that affected kasi hindi lang naman sa pagsusulat (o pagiging manunulat) umiikot ang mundo ko. May mga kinakaharap din akong pagsubok sa personal na buhay at sa ngayon-ngayon pa lang ako muling nakakabangon, hehe~ Matagal tuloy bago ko nasimulan noon ang Slide. Isang chap lang muna ang pinub ko para i-assure kayong mga readers na tuloy na tuloy pa rin ang story ng BreeGo. Medyo nawalan ako ng gana mag-UD ng A Man Of His Word at Sir Sparks kaya matagal at putol-putol noon ang UDs ko. Matagal bago nasundan ang Chapter 1 ng Slide at nung nagkaroon na ako ng realizations, natuloy ko na sa wakas ang pagsusulat sa story ng #BreeGo.
After meditating during those times, I gained the determination to show that I am choosing myself over anyone else. Na hindi ako makikinig sa mga sinasabi nila tungkol sa akin, tungkol sa mga gusto nilang baguhin sa akin. I already love who I am, but I loved myself more in a way that I put my whole trust and confidence in myself and in what I can do, lalo na kung wala naman sa mga intensyon ko ang manakit ng ibang tao. This is a story that I am writing for myself, setting aside what kind of stories readers prefer reading to choose writing a story that will make me happy. Pero kung magustuhan ang Slide ng mga magbabasa, magiging masaya ako lalo at magiging para sa kanila na rin ang kwentong ito dahil ganoon naman ang bawat kwento kapag malapit sa puso ng nagbabasa, parang para sa kanila na rin iyon. I have already said before, that I am not what I write, but I am bravely crossing the line in Slide. I began sharing more of who I am here (even in this AN, lol~) compared to my previous novels.
I scrambled every political/showbiz issue and controversy I could come up with (with the help of my references, of course), and made stories out of them. It's like experimenting with chemicals, an alchemy. I enjoyed it a lot, promise because it's like a mind exercise. Then, I put two characters that reflect two sides of me— one is Bree, the femme fatale character, she who chose to either ignore the people who hates her or fight back and annoy them more; and another is Virgo, the magnetic force of a Senator, who chose to either please the people who don't like him or smile, let their bashings slide just to make things peaceful (and let other people defend him or do the dirty work for him).
I revealed in this novel the realization I had na anuman ang panghuhusga na gawin sa iyo ng isang tao, hindi mo kailangang i-explain ang sarili mo. They can't destroy you if you don't allow them to. You can't keep on doing the right thing (trying to please them), or the wrong thing (fighting back) Sometimes, you just choose what's safe for you and everyone— you choose safety. Trying to please them will only trap you (like Virgo) and trying to fight them back will only destroy you (like Bree). Sa kwento ni Bree at Virgo, masasalamin ang katotohanan na mahirap ang distinction sa pagitan ng tama at mali. Na mangingibabaw pa rin sa atin na piliin kung ano ang safe o makakabuti para sa atin, at sa lahat. Of course, people will call that hypocrisy on your part, but in my own point of view, hindi mo kailangang pumili sa pagitan ng tama at mali. Hindi por que mali ang isang bagay o tao, lahat ng tungkol dito ay mali na, at hindi por que tama ang isang bagay o tao, lahat ng tungkol dito ay tama na.. Life could have been easier if it's only black and white, but life is never always black and white no matter how hard we try to make it like that. Of course, marami pang lessons at pinapaubaya ko na sa inyo ang pagpulot-pulot sa nagkalat na mga aral sa kwento.
Slide is a declaration from me that I still choose to stay true to my principles when writing stories, would not change a thing, and I will be very happy if you'll love me for being who I am, if not as a person, then as an author. Some people will obviously not like this, but this is me exercising my right to have a choice on things that I want to write, how I want to write stories and what beliefs I want to live by. I welcome you all with open arms, but if you don't like what I do, I respect your decision to leave or not read my works. We have our own choices, choices that help us decide on what's best for us to do.
I want to thank all of you for the super, duper warm support for this story! First time ko po na makakuha ng 200k plus reads sa isang ongoing story. Usually, nasa mga 10k iyan, at umaabot lang ng mga 100k plus kapag completed na ang story. Sobrang naa-appreciate ko ito kasi ibig sabihin, talagang sinubaybayan ninyo. Kung sugapa ako sa reads hahabaan ko pa ang Slide hahaha, kaya lang, hanggang dito na lang talaga ang kasalukuyang plot ng story ni Bree at Virgo.
SUUUUUUUUUPER thank you, my dearest readers, for being with Bree and Virgo throughout their journey. If you love them, it means you kinda love me na rin hehehe~ (ayieeee~ joke lang!) If you love them, I want you to know that I am super grateful and that I love them too! (Idamay na rin natin si Marco sa mga love ko rin, hehehe~)
Kitakits sa Plucked Just Right, book 4 iyon ng Hacienda Silvestre Series. Iyon ang susunod kong isusulat at ipa-pub sa Wattpad... i-imaginin ko pa ang buong plot, pero magiging medyo taboo iyon at controversial din ... I think, hehe~ (may plot na naman kasi, bubuuin ko na lang sa isip ko, hahaha!), kaya ihanda ang mga sarili! Just give me a one week writing break para maka-move on ako sa Slide, please! :* :* Thank youuuu <3 <3 <3
For now, dahil #SLIDEGrandFinale na, makisali sa #EggPieParty for #Breego !
With Love-- Always,
ANAxoxo
September 20, 2019