I was speechless. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't bring myself to speak. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't want to believe it. I was angry and heartbroken at the same time. I didn't know what to do or what to say cause I was afraid to do or say the wrong thing. I just stared at her in utter shock, not sure if I wanted to hear any more about it since I already knew that it would hurt the both of us.
"I..", Ashley started hesitantly, her voice trembling.
"You.. you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.", I shook my head, my eyes closed shut as I brought her hands to my lips and kissed them.
"I want to.."
I opened my eyes and looked at her before nodding in silence, allowing her to continue.
"I was 18, senior year was about to end.", she whispered in a low voice. "Everyone in school knew that I was gay, therefore none of the boys even bothered to approach me in that way. None of them, except for this one guy from my history class. He didn't even seem to process my sexuality. He just didn't give a shit as far as I know..", she paused, taking in a deep, sharp breath. "He would make nasty and dirty comments every chance he had; he would force himself on me every time he bumped into me in the hallways; he would send me nasty pictures on social media along with sexual remarks-"
"Why didn't you report it to the school?", I blurted in shock.
"I did.", she let out a loud sigh. "I did.. I reported it to the school and told my parents. None of them took it seriously, or me for that matter.. you know, 'boys will be boys', right?", she scoffed as I wiped away a tear from her cheek. "So I took down every social media account that I had, I changed my number several times as somehow he always managed to get ahold of my digits, and I tried to avoid him every single day at school. That went well for several months, until one day I saw him in front of my house, waiting for me. At that point.. I had enough. My parents wouldn't listen to me, let alone the school.. so I went to the police. Since apparently there weren't enough grounds to put him under arrest, the police officer that was working my case suggested me to file a restraining order."
"Did you?"
"I did. There wasn't much more that I could do, so I did. Once the restraining order was brought to the school's attention, he was forced to transfer elsewhere. Just like that, he was gone. He was gone and I was able to finally breathe again and enjoy the last few weeks of my senior year.."
She fell silent, her gaze empty as she relived that nightmare. I could sense that the worst was just around the corner and I was bracing myself. I stood up from my seat and sat next to her, her hands firmly placed into mine as I could feel my body starting to get cold.
"So.. a week away from graduation, a girl from our school hosted a party at her house.", Ashley's voice began to break. "I didn't even want to go, but then I thought: 'hey, it's my last year of high school. Why would I bore myself at home?'.. ugh, fuck me.. so I went. Halfway through the party, I really needed to use the restroom. There was a long ass cue to most of them, so my stupid ass went looking for another one in the most secluded part of the house. After I took care of my business, I was washing my hands when... when I heard the door opening and closing behind me. I was about to say something to the intruder, but when I turned around.. there he was. He was glancing right through me, a haunted look in his eyes.. he started walking towards me despite my suggestions to leave. He wasn't having any of it. He started to blame me because I ruined him. He was angry, and drunk. But he knew what he was doing, and I myself knew what was about to happen. I managed to grab my phone and call one of my friends that was also attending the party, hoping that he would answer and hear what was happening. He grabbed it and threw it across the bathroom, but he didn't realize that the call fortunately went through. I started to scream at the top of my lungs as he forced himself on me.."
"Oh my god.", I whispered under my breath, my heart pounding as I could feel my palms becoming sweaty.
"He.. he forced himself on me and ripped the lower part of my dress, along with my underwear. I tried to fight him off of me, but he was obviously stronger and bigger than me. I had no chance against him.. I continued to scream as loud as I could, but he covered my mouth and threatened me that if I didn't shut up he would kill me. And by the look on his face, I believed him. So I closed my eyes as tears started to flood my cheeks, and hoped that it would be over as soon as possible. About 5 minutes later though, someone kicked the bathroom door open and tackled him to the ground. It was Dylan, my best friend. He was the one I called before anything happened, and it took him a while to find me since I was on the other side of the house. He was immediately followed by Judy, who rushed to my aid as I was a crying mess at that point.. the police came shortly after and they arrested him after I had to testify against him."
"I'm..-", I tried to speak, but my brain wasn't cooperating.
I didn't even realize that I was crying myself. I didn't want to believe that someone could do something like that. I couldn't even bring myself to process the fact that someone did that to her. I was an emotional mess, just like she was.
"I'm so, so terribly sorry that that happened to you..", I whispered in between sobs, pulling her closer to me and planting a kiss on her forehead. "I.. I wish I was there to protect you."
"Well..", she sniffled, wiping her cheeks and then cupping my face, a warm smile on her face as she locked her piercing watery grey eyes with mine. "You did today."
"It's.. it's not the same, Ashley..", I mumbled almost to myself, shaking my head as I slowly tried to calm down.
"It is.", she retorted. "I mean.. I'm not condoning the fact that you punched another student in the middle of my class..", she let out a soft chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. "But you did protect me, Alex. You didn't let it slide like my parents or the school did back then. You stood up for me."
"I couldn't sit back after I saw the look on your face.. I obviously thought that he was just making you uncomfortable though, I had no idea that-"
"I know.", she cut me short. "That's basically my point. You didn't know but you acted nonetheless. The world could use more people like you, you know?"
"Pff, I don't know about that, Miss.", I shrugged, my mind immediately wandering to my past. "Nice hickey, by the way.", I giggled nervously, desperately trying to keep those memories out of my mind. It wasn't the right time or place. She just dropped a major part of her past on me and I still had to kind of process it.
"I meant what I said, silly.", she rolled her eyes as her body relaxed in her seat, mine not too far behind as I managed to stop the tears in my eyes. "As for the hickey, you seriously need to stop.", she giggled, slightly blushing. "They're hard to cover up, for fuck's sake!"
"I'm sorry, I can't help it!", I smiled sheepishly, reaching for her hand and bringing it to my lips before looking at her deeply in the eyes. "Thank you by the way.. you know, f-for telling me.."
"I'm glad I did.", she smiled warmly at me as she checked the time. "But you should really go now, Alex."
"What? Why?", I frowned in confusion at her sudden suggestion.
"It's not that I don't want you here, but you're going to be late for work.", she chuckled at my reaction and showed me the time.
"Shit!", I sighed in frustration before standing up from my seat and quickly gather my things. "Can I call you later..?", I found myself asking as I quickly made my way to the door.
"Uh..", she tilted her head in confusion at my request. Needless to say that I was surprised myself. "Sure..?"
"Great. I'll talk to you later.", I dismissed myself without another word.
Halfway through the empty hallway though, I turned around and rushed back.
"Did you forget some-"
I leaned down, gently cupped her face and crashed my lips against hers, not even giving her the chance to process what was happening. It was sweet and soft, it wasn't out of lust or anything else. I just really wanted to do it and I couldn't care less that we were in school.
"Yeah, I did.", I whispered as soon as we parted, a soft smirk on my face. "Later gorgeous."
——
I threw myself on my bed as soon as I got home from work. The bar was packed tonight and I didn't even manage to get a 5 minutes break since Max was sick, leaving me to deal with customers on my own.
The upside to this was that countless girls tried to flirt with me though, trying to get my number and eventually in my pants. However, the downside was that I was too busy working to flirt back. Plus, I wasn't really in the mood anyway.. my mind kept replaying Ashley's story in my head the entire time, and needless to say that I was still shook.
Shit, Ashley.
I reached for my phone and typed out a quick message, fully aware that she was probably sleeping since it was almost 3 in the morning.
Alex 2.47am
'Hey.. sorry I never called. Work was awful tonight.'
I sighed out loud, throwing my phone on one side of the bed before starting to get changed into my pj's. I was physically exhausted and mentally drained, but I knew I was in for a sleepless night: I still couldn't wrap my head around the horrible thing that Ashley told me, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.
As I stepped out of my room to check on the boys, it hit me. Did I go overboard the other night? I mean, she did tease me.. but did I force myself on her by pinning her against the fridge and rip apart her clothes? I didn't, right? Like.. she was definitely on my same page and if she wasn't okay with it she would have stopped me, right? In any other circumstance I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but now I couldn't help myself. Was I too-
My racing mind was silenced by my phone buzzing when I stepped back into my room. Furrowing, wondering who could it possibly be at this hour, I climbed on my bed and unlocked my phone, surprised to see it was Ashley.
Ashley 2.50am
'Don't worry, I get it. Why awful? Did something happen?'
I smiled, a weird and warm feeling developing in my chest as she was apparently worried about me.
Alex 2.51am
'No, nothing happened.. it just was a really busy night, but thanks for asking. Why are you still awake btw?'
Ashley 2.52am
'I was waiting for your call ;)'
Yeah, as if!
Alex 2.53am
'Very funny, smartass. Seriously, you okay?'
Ashley 2.53am
'I'm fine, Alex. Just having trouble sleeping.. I guess I had too much coffee today.'
Her text was followed by a selfie of Ashley crumbled on her couch, probably watching a movie or reading a book. I caught myself smiling and staring at it. She was wearing a green hoodie, her face was makeup free and her hair was messy as she was smiling in the camera. Definitely the opposite version of her compared to how professional and sexy she is in school. But beautiful nonetheless.
Alex 2.55am
'..can I ask you something?'
Ashley 2.55am
'Sure.'
Alex 2.56am
'After our talk.. well, I couldn't help but think about the other night at my house..'
Ashley 2.57am
'What about it?'
Despite the subject, I couldn't help but smirk as I imagined her tilting her head to one side out of curiosity. But my smirk quickly dropped when I nervously started to type in a reply.
Alex 2.59am
'Was I too... forward? Or rough on you? I mean, you clearly enjoyed it, but I can't stop thinking about it after what you told me and I need to know.. I need to know I didn't upset you.'
Ashley 3.00am
'Oh.. you want to know if I was upset when you tore my clothes and fucked me?'
Alex 3.00am
'Ash, I'm serious right now.'
Ashley 3.01am
'You're sweet, you know that?'
Alex 3.01am
'Still waiting.'
Ashley 3.03am
'You didn't upset me, Alex. What happened to me yes, it was horrible, but it also was 9 years ago. As for the other night, you did nothing that I didn't want you to do.'
Letting out a sigh of relief, I relaxed immediately and sat up on my bed, resting my back against the headboard. Smiling as I bit my lip, I replied.
Alex 3.05am
'I'm very glad to hear that.. So.. you like it rough, huh? ;)'
No way she's gonna give in and answer th-
Ashley 3.05am
'I do, as a matter of fact.'
Gobsmacked and surprised I found myself extremely turned on as this information properly sunk in.
Alex 3.06am
'Good to know.. I wish I was there with you right now and show you just how rough I can be.'
I laughed at my poor attempt of sexting with my teacher since she was probably going to dismiss herself, but hey, it was worth th-
Ashley 3.07am
'Oh yeah? What would you do, Alex?'
Holy shit, she was playing along and I could already feel the wetness between my legs.
Alex 3.08am
'What would you want me to do, Miss Stevens?'
Ashley 3.09am
'I would..
Like you to pin me against the wall
And kiss me as hard as you can
I'd like you to kiss and bite every inch of my neck while you rip off my shirt and cup my breasts in your hands'
As the three dot bubbles indicating that she was typing kept appearing and disappearing, I found myself doing something that I hadn't done since I couldn't even remember: I started touching myself. One hand in my shorts as I started teasing my throbbing clit, and one hand holding my phone.
Ashley 3.10am
'I'd like you to lick every inch of my skin as you lower your magic tongue down to my heaving chest
I'd like you to tease my nipples with your fingers
Before you pick me up and slam me on the dining room table
Your body wedged in between my legs as you hover over me and start flicking your tongue on my hard, tense nipples as I moan out in pleasure'
I was ridiculously wet and aroused as I drew hard circles on my clit before sliding two fingers inside me, my hips rising as I started to thrust them in and out of myself, my breathing becoming uneven.
Ashley 3.011am
'I'd like you to kiss me hard again as you unbutton my jeans and slip your hand inside my drenched panties
I'd like you to tease my clit before abruptly sliding your fingers inside of me as you suck hard on my nipples'
Jesus I couldn't even believe it myself but I was really close as I started thrusting my fingers faster and harder. I growled internally when I saw that she wasn't typing anymore. Keeping my pace as I could feel my walls starting to tighten around my fingers, I managed to type a reply.
Alex 3.12am
'Then what?'
I increased my pace in excitement as she was typing back. I was ready to explode, which was probably going to happen as soon as I read the next dirty thing.
Ashley 3.13am
'Then I'd like you
To go to bed, Alex.
It's late and we have school tomorrow.
Goodnight. :*'
I went from 100 to 0 in a split second. I stared at my phone, my jaw dropping as I was speechless and my fingers were still inside of me, my orgasm long forgotten. I was angry, amused, sexually frustrated and god knows what else!
Did she really just get me all horny and drenched and on the verge to cum just to leave me hanging?! Ugh!
I retrieved my hand from inside my shorts and typed in an angry reply before throwing my phone god knows where and closing my eyes in the darkness of my room, pissed off and hoping to get a few hours of sleep.
Alex 3.15am
'You're unbelievable. Fuck you.'
——
"Someone's in a mood.", I heard a teasing voice behind me just as I slammed my locker shut, which caused me to turn around.
Ugh, not you too.
Yes, I'm in a hell of a bad mood today and I have been ever since I got up from my one hour nap. I was exhausted out of my mind and extremely frustrated by the stunt that Ashley pulled on me, so help me God not to take it out on her.
"Hey Jamie.", I sighed dryly as I made my way outside the building and towards my car. I was so tired that after a whole day of classes I just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep for the next 40 years or more.
I was actually wishing I was a bear. Hibernation seemed like heaven to me right now.
"What's up with you lately?", she frowned as she followed me to my car and watched me throw my bag on the passenger's seat.
"Uh, nothing?", I shrugged, opening the driver's door and then turning around to look at her.
"Right. So, you're avoiding me for no reason?", she asked, her eyebrows furrowed and her arms crossed.
I really wasn't in the mood for this type of conversation. In any other circumstance or with any other girl, I just would have left without another word. Thing is, it was Jamie. I liked her and I didn't want her to hate me. So I stayed.
"I'm not avoiding you, Jamie..", I mumbled as I looked down at the car keys in my hand and started playing with them. I was avoiding her and she knows that, I don't even know why I bothered to lie.
"Yes. Yes you are Alex."
I sighed out loud and looked up to meet her gaze. I was never good at this. I hated confrontations, but at the end of the day, if I did confront you then that meant that you were actually important to me in some sort of fucked up way. And Jamie was. I wasn't sure to which extent, but she was. So she deserved some answers.
"You're right, I definitely was.", I admitted as I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned against my car.
"Care to elaborate..?", she trailed off as she leaned against my car next to me. "Did I do something wrong?"
"God, no. You did nothing wrong, Jamie.", I started, not really sure what I was going to say next. What was I supposed to tell her? I wanted to clear the air without giving up too much about my situation with Ashley, but I was kind of at a loss of words. I was about to speak when she anticipated me, catching me by surprise.
"Is that girl, isn't it?", she bluntly stated, flashing me a knowing smirk.
"Wha-... how?", I gasped, letting out a nervous giggle as I stared at her.
"It doesn't take a genius, dumbass.", Jamie chuckled and nudged me slightly in the process, causing me to relax a little since she clearly wasn't upset as I thought she would be.
"No, seriously. How?!", I nudged her in response, a hint of seriousness in my voice.
"Well, let's see.. you fuck me after homecoming because someone pissed you off. A while later we end up hooking up every single day for nearly two months then boom, you vanish and avoid me in school. So I thought about two possible scenarios: either you got tired of me and moved on to fucking someone else, or the mysterious girl was back in the picture. And, since I know for a fact that you aren't fucking anyone else from our school, my money is on the second one."
Weeeell, flash news honey, she's from our school alright.
"And you know that for a fact how exactly?", I teased, even though part of me was genuinely curious.
"Oh, I have my ways.", she chuckled before frowning. "She's not from our school, is she?"
"She's not.", I couldn't help but laugh at her expression. "She's not even in school anymore.", I found myself adding. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either.
"Mm, older. Interesting.", she smiled, wiggling her eyebrows. "Someone finally managed to tame you, huh?"
"Pff, I wouldn't put it that way.", I scoffed, causing her to laugh. "I'm just getting to know her, you know? And I'm trying something different.. get to know her without sleeping around and stuff.", I mumbled, scratching the back of my head. "I guess I.. kind of like her..?"
"And couldn't you just tell me that, you moron?!", she exclaimed with a wide smile before hitting me playfully in the arm.
"Ouch!! I wanted to, I really did.", I chuckled as I rubbed my arm. "I just.. I didn't know how. I've never been good with these type of things, mainly because I've never even bothered to have the conversation with the girl, you know? I usually just avoid it and-"
"Hide till the girl gets the hint?", she cut me off, flashing me an admonishing glare.
"Something like that, yeah..", I sighed out loud, feeling embarrassed for myself. Ugh, I'm such a bitch. "But it wasn't the case with you, Jamie."
"How's that?", she tilted her head in confusion, reminding me of a certain someone.
"I mean, yeah, I was avoiding you. But not for you to take the hint. I was actually dreading this conversation because.. well, I like you, as a friend. You're really nice and fun to hang out, and I enjoy spending time with you. But I was afraid that by telling you this, you would have wanted nothing to do with me anymore, and I didn't want that because I.. I actually care about your friendship."
"Awwwww!", she squealed before pulling me into a tight hug, catching me again by surprise.
"Uh.. what are you doing?", I mumbled against her shoulder, feeling a whole new level of awkward since I didn't know what to do with my arms.
I wasn't an affectionate person, I exchanged hugs only with a few people and I most certainly wasn't expecting any of this, from her being extremely chill with the whole situation to her hugging me.
"I'm hugging you!", she squealed again, hugging me even tighter. "Friends hug each other, you know?"
"Uh.. Yeah?", I mumbled again, not able to wrap my arms around her yet.
"Yeah. Hug me back before I punch you in the face!", she gritted the last part in a menacing tone, causing me to laugh out loud and relax in her embrace as I hugged her back.
Jamie really was something else. She reminded me of Jess sometimes, and maybe that's why I liked her and wanted to keep her around.
"I'm glad you told me by the way, even if I had to stalk you in order for you to tell me.", she eventually added with a warm grin as soon as we parted from each other, causing me to smile sheepishly. "And I'm glad you're trying something different by not sleeping around. You must really like her, and I hope it works out. You deserve to be happy."
"You're amazing, you know that?", I whispered, relieved that everything worked out in the best way possible.
"I have my moments.", she replied, winking at me. "Anyway, now that that's over with, I really have to go, I have a shift in 30 minutes."
"Ugh, don't remind me of work, please.", I groaned as I checked the time and realized that I had barely three hours to get some sleep before my shift.
I looked up from my phone and back to Jamie, when someone in the parking lot caught my attention. It was Ashley, and she was looking at us while walking to her car, an unreadable expression on her face as usual.
I brushed it off and focused my attention back on Jamie. I hadn't talked to her since the last text I sent her, nor have I looked at her during her class even though I could feel her gaze on me. I was childishly pissed and I wasn't about to drop it anytime soon. I didn't care about what she thought of me or what kind of thoughts crossed her mind as she saw Jamie and I together in an empty parking lot. I just wanted to go home.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?", Jamie asked , retrieving her car keys from her bag and motioning to leave.
"Yeah, tomorrow.", I smiled at her and carelessly kissed her cheek before climbing into the driver's seat and start the engine.
Before pulling out though, my eye fell onto the rear view mirror and I noticed Ashley just sitting in her car, probably snooping and trying to figure out what the deal with Jamie was. Smirking to myself, I pulled out and sped away, my bed calling me in the distance.