Josie’s P.O.V.
The ride back to the hotel was silent. We said absolutely nothing to each other; this feeling was so unnatural. I had no idea what was going through his mind for once and maybe it was for the best because I didn’t even know how to manage my mind at this moment. I know we were going to see each other again, but I never thought that I’d feel this shitty about having to leave him. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. I’ve been so accustomed to waking up to his blue eyes in the morning and now it not going to happen for a long time. After the tour, the guys were planning on going home to spend time with family which I was completely supporting. They deserved it. They deserved a break. But it also meant more time away from each other
"We’ll be arriving at the hotel in ten minutes," The driver spoke breaking the silence for a second before it returned to the deep quiet accompanied by the sound of the car moving
Luke and I were sitting on either side of the car as far as possible from each other. I didn’t know how we ended up like this, being close to him reminded me more and more about the fact that I’d have to leave tonight. I was staring outside of the window as we passed by random landmarks from the town we were in when I felt Luke’s warm hand being placed on the inside of my thigh like he usually did whenever we were sitting next to each other. I glanced over to him finding him staring out of his window as well not moving his head to look at me but keeping his hand in the same spot. Those were one of the things I loved the most about him, the small gestures he did to make sure that I was really there with him, that I was still with him; he always seemed to need to have assurance that I would still be there when he woke up so he kept me wrapped up in his arms whenever we slept which I had no problem with. But it was hell, he knew that one day I could just walk out of his life for good and not even take a second glance and I knew he could do the same to me, but that’s the thing about love, you put all your trust into the other person, trust that they’ll be there when you wake up to say their raspy good morning to you as you let out a yawn and they pull you closer to them never wanting to let you go. Moments like these are what make me believe that my definition of love is true. Luke made me believe in love again. Crazy right?
I unbuckled my seat belt and scooted to the middle of car next to him as he tucked me in under his shoulder keeping me close. This time I was the one with my hand on his thigh as he kissed my temple
"I don’t know how I’m going to leave you tonight," I whispered closing my eyes like my body was trying to reject the words coming out of my mouth. I wish I never had to say those words at all, but we were both thinking it regardless
"I don’t know how I’m going to be able to let you leave tonight," He countered holding me even tighter against his body
I snuggled my face into his neck trying to take in every second I had with him and kissed his skin letting his scent sink into me as if this would be the last moment I’d have with him. It wasn’t for forever, but it would be a long time until I’d be able to see him again. You’d think that I’d be used to leaving people because of tour, my entire lifestyle basically, but it gets harder and harder every time because things change, people change, and if you’re not there you never know what will happen. Those were the unfortunate things I’ve learned during my long time away from home. When things are going good, you feel like things will last forever, but of course that’s never the case. There’s always one speed bump that’s going to make or break your decisions, and this was ours
"If you make me stay, I won’t fight back," I hinted trying to find any reason to not leave
"Trust me baby you don’t know how bad I want you to stay, but I can’t do that," he sighed
"You’re too good for me, you know that?" I asked looking into his eyes
"I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around, Josie," he let out a small smile before placing his lips on mine
"And we’re back at the hotel," The driver announced stopping the vehicle in front of the building
There was an insane amount of pounding against the car and muffled screams coming from the amount of girls outside and all it felt like was a constant stab in the head if I’m going to be honest and Luke definitely noticed. I was cringing at every loud noise banging onto the car trying to keep my composure in case any one other than him could see
"Is there any way you can drive to the back?" Luke asked the driver seeing how bad I was feeling
"Sorry, I drove passed it already and the hotel has the barricades up to keep the fans away from the tour busses," The driver apologized
"It-it’s fine Luke, it’ll just be quick," I said rubbing my temples with my fingers in a failed attempt to sooth the massive headache
"Jojo, there’s too many of them and not enough security," He said looking all around us
There were at least 6 massive security guards outside waiting for us to come out, but they were nothing compared to the mass of around 30 girls also waiting for us, there were about half of them surrounding the car to get any glimpse of us that they could and the rest were in a large group surround the entrance for when we decided to come out since we’d have to go through there
"I’ll figure something out, just wait in here alright?" He told me as I nodded not bothering to question him further, all I knew was that I needed to get out
He opened the door quickly and closed it with just the same speed as the hotel security moved towards him with the fans now surrounding to see him, I saw him raise his hands up and down surprisingly silencing the crowd as the car only slightly muffled his voice but still enabled me to hear his words
"I know that all of you already know what happened to Josie last night," Luke began speaking to all of them as I watched through the window
A mixture of apologies and whispers moved through the crowd as he spoke
"Well she has a really bad injury and I’m going to need you all to calm down for a second when she comes out or else it will end up being a lot worse," Luke said
"I need you all to promise me that you won’t mob around us or yell because there’s already one really special girl in my life hurt so I can’t have the rest of you hurting as well," Luke said making the girls let out little "awws" and laughs
He said a little bit more and I saw the crowd reply with smiles and nods before he whispered something to one of the security. The guard moved to open my door and for once I could actually leave a car without having anyone around me. They were watching my every move, but this time I didn’t feel suffocated. The girls separated themselves and left an aisle in the middle for me to walk through to get to the door as Luke held onto my hand and led me into the hotel
"Thanks," I said to him once we were in and my throbbing headache began to die down
"No problem," He smiled as we entered the elevator up to the hotel room
"You think they’re still here?" I asked him as we went into our room
"It’s almost time for sound check, they’re probably already at the venue," He said taking a seat on the bed
Ashton took it upon himself to bring Luke and I’s bags up to our room before we left for the hospital this morning, it’s a shame I wouldn’t even get to thank him for that in person
"That means you have to get down there for sound check too," I sighed grabbing my suitcase from across the room and rolling it to the door, but Luke grabbed my hand to stop me
"I’m just tryna make it easier Luke," I breathed trying to avoid his stare because it would only hurt more
"Well it’s not working,"
He tugged my hand back making me stand in front of him as I gave in and looked down at him
"I’m gonna miss you so much," I finally cracked stepping in between his legs to wrap my arms around his neck as he leaned his body back so I was now laying on top of him
"You finally said it," He let out a small smile as our faces were inches from each other
"I told you it’d make this even harder," I sighed resting my forehead against his for a moment before bringing my lips to his
Minutes passed and our lips still devoured each others not wanting to let go for even more than a second, I don’t even know how long we stayed like this until Luke’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket making him groan as I got off of him to sit on the bed next to him
Luke’s P.O.V.
"Hello?" I spoke into the phone
"Mate Robbie’s going ballistic the set starts in 15 and you aren’t here, is Josie okay?" Calum asked
"She has to go home Cal," I said quietly seeing the sad expression on Josie’s face as I spoke those words and imagining Calum’s even sadder expression. The guys were a little attached to Josie, she was like their little sister throughout the tour. Being stuck on a bus with four guys wasn’t always the most pleasant experience, but Josie was able to change that. She changed everything about us. We started seeing things in such different ways because of her. We saw everyone we met as a chance to change their life as well. Each fan, each music producer, with every bit of fame we gained, we always kept a little piece of home with us. Josie was our piece of home. She’s been in this business for a while now, longer than us, and she’d always tell us her stories about her old life, what keeps her grounded the most and that was something that always stuck to us. What stuck to me the most was how beautiful she looked when she wasn’t even trying, how she laughed at the most ridiculous things even if it wasn’t funny, how I could completely let myself go around her. But now it was all going to be gone for a while.
"What? Why?" Michael’s voice was heard as I began to hear rustling in the bathroom
I sighed not wanting to explain what happened because I knew it would hurt even more. I put the phone on speaker and held it between Josie and I as she placed her hand on mine to steady the shaking phone in my fingers
"Hey guys," She let out a small smile as she spoke
"Josie, is something wrong why do you have to go home?" Ashton asked
"I- I ended up getting a concussion and the doctor doesn’t want me to disrupt the healing process with the rest of the tour because of how hectic it is," She said
"So… you’re leaving tonight?" Calum breathed
I could hear the disappointment in his voice
"Yeah, I’m sorry guys, I really don’t want to go," She breathed leaning her head against my shoulder
"Have a fucking rocking show for me tonight though alright? I’ll ask one of the girls to record some parts to send to me to make sure you do," She said trying to lighten the mood
"You’re not coming tonight?" Michael asked
"I wish I could Mike,"
"Ten minutes to show time where the hell is Luke?!" Robbie’s voice sounded off in the background probably just now entering the dressing room
"I’m on my way Rob five minutes. I’ll be there," I said quickly
"Luke the fans aren’t paying to see you la-" I began to hear Rob raise his voice so I quickly ended the call running a hand through my hair in frustration knowing that we’d both have to leave soon
"I didn’t get to say goodbye to them," Josie said quietly
I kept my mouth shut no knowing what else to say. All I wanted was to stay with her even for just five more minutes, but we both know that couldn’t happen
"Well we gotta get you to the concert tonight Luke," Josie spoke breaking the silence and standing up
"What?"
"Well I didn’t get to say goodbye and we don’t have time to argue so let’s go, move your ass Hemmings," She said pulling me up from my seat
She never fails to surprise me. Considering how small she was compared to me, if she had a set goal to take me somewhere for some reason she’d be able to gather up enough strength in her to pull me around everywhere.
"Jo you can’t the doctor sai-"
"I know what the doctor said, I’ll just- I’ll borrow those sound canceling headphones that Rick has," Josie said quickly coming up with a plan to be able to stay tonight
"I really do-"
"No more talk about it, you have a concert to get to Lucas," She argued dragging me out the door
At this point I was done arguing. I knew the boys would never forgive me if I let her walk out without telling them goodbye anyways and I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t take every opportunity to spend more time with her even if it was just for a few hours
We were at the venue with minutes to spare before the countdown for the start of the show began. I took my time walking not wanting to push Josie to hard as we entered the hall, we were able to go through the back which didn’t allow fans so it made for an easy and quiet entrance. Josie was trying to rush me through the backstage area to get to where I needed to be and I couldn’t help but laugh at how urgent she thought everything was. I was fine with being late on stage as long as I could spend more time with her
"Jojo you’re here!" Ashton smiled engulfing her in a hug as the rest of the guys followed
"I couldn’t leave without seeing you guys one last time for this tour," She said hugging them all back as I went to find Rick, the sound engineer, to get those headphones
I could see how hard she was trying to force on a smile as the sound of the crowd just a few meters away was pounding into her head. I knew it was a bad decision to let her come her considering how bad the doctor said the concussion was, but I also knew how stubborn she’d be if I told her she couldn’t go. Once I handed them to her and she placed it over her head you could see the relief rush onto her face as the noise was finally drowned out.
"Good luck out there," She smiled as the countdown began and Ashton began to make his way to his drum stool
Once he began, Calum and Michael quickly followed before it was just me left behind
"I love you," She said before going on her toes to kiss me
"I love you too," I smiled before walking onto stage
Regardless of how happy I was with having her here for one last night, the fact that she’d have to leave tonight was embedded in my mind the entire show. Every glance I gave to her from the side stage only reminded me more that she won’t be there when I wake up tomorrow morning. She won’t even be there when I fall asleep tonight. And this time there was nothing I could do about it.