"So you're sure you don't wanna hear what I have to say?" Taehyung glanced at Jisoo, as he took his seat next to Jisoo once again. "I thought very hard and I think I've finally figured out how I feel."
Jisoo bit her lower lip nervously. "I really wanna know... but at the same time, I'm really scared of finding out..."
"If I were you, I'd wanna know," Taehyung shrugged. "I think if anything, it'll give you peace of mind. But if you're sure you don't want an answer from me, I'll respect that. And we can go back to being friends."
"Oh my gosh," Jisoo buried her face in her hands. "This is so hard."
"Let me know when you have an answer."
"Actually..." Jisoo looked up all of a sudden. "I think I've changed my mind. I wanna know right now, tell me. I'll be able to handle it."
"You sure?" Taehyung looked concerned. "Alright, well, here I go."
Jisoo pursed her lips, clutching onto the hem of her skirt, embracing herself for what was to come.
"So..." Taehyung began slowly, watching Jisoo's expression closely. "At first, when I heard your confession, I was surprised. No, wait- let's rewind. Before that, when you kissed me that day- my mind literally went blank. All the thoughts I had in my mind about Jieun disappeared immediately. That day I went home, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. I couldn't sleep that night."
"I'm sorry," Jisoo bit her lower lip. "About that, I just- I didn't mean it- I mean- it's not that I didn't mean it- I meant it, but I didn't mean to upset you-"
"I'm not upset," Taehyung continued. "Quite frankly, it wasn't bad at all. It was a pretty good first kiss."
"Oh."
"But that's what bothered me," Taehyung admitted. "I liked it a bit too much for someone I thought I didn't like romantically, but I didn't know if I really liked you in that way, or if it was simply because... it was my first kiss."
"Ah."
"And up till now, I still don't know why I felt that way," Taehyung said solemnly. "I'm still trying to find out why that was so. But about your confession... it really made my heart flutter, to be confessed to for the first time in a long while."
"I'm sure there are many people who have confessed to you." Jisoo scoffed. "Why would I be any different?"
"Well, of course, you're different," Taehyung continued. "You're not just anyone, you're Jisoo."
Jisoo pursed her lips, smiling a little.
"And so, I really wanna thank you for that," Taehyung said slowly. "I'm really thankful for that amazing heartfelt confession of yours. It made me feel so many things I haven't felt in a long while. It felt really good, really. So... thank you."
Jisoo chuckled sadly. "That's a rejection, isn't it? A typical nice Taehyung-style rejection."
"It isn't," Taehyung frowned as he shook his head. "Why would you think that way? I meant what I said when I was thankful... but I cannot give you an answer right now, Jisoo. I need time."
Jisoo frowned.
"And I want you to know why I'm being extra careful," Taehyung looked into Jisoo's eyes. "I'm scared too, Jisoo. Not for myself, but you. After my brother hurt you in the way that he did, and after I saw the way you became after that happened... I don't ever want to see you that way ever again, Jisoo."
Jisoo raised her eyebrows.
"Because of what happened with Seokjin... I have to be extra careful," Taehyung explained. "I can't say 'yes' when I'm not 100% sure about my feelings yet. The fact that I don't want to see you hurt... means that I really do care for you, Jisoo. This is something I am so, so sure of. You're someone I care for so much that I don't want to treat this lightly. I don't want history to repeat ever again, Jisoo, and I'm doing this for your sake, for our sake. So give me some time, I'll give you a more definite answer in due time. Is that okay?"
Jisoo had tears welled up in her eyes as she nodded slowly, trying to wipe away her tears as they rolled down her cheeks.
"Ya!" Taehyung looked flustered as he fumbled around his pockets for a packet of tissue paper. "Ya! Why are you crying all of a sudden?"
"I'm not!" Jisoo said as she took the piece of tissue paper from Taehyung's hands and wiped her eyes. "I'm not crying."
Taehyung laughed as he handed the entire packet of tissue paper to Jisoo. "But... you are."
"Something went into my eyes," Jisoo laughed as more tears flowed down her face. "I swear."
"Okay, okay," Taehyung laughed, as he grabbed a piece of tissue paper and helped her to dab her eyes dry. "There, there."
"No, I'm just-" Jisoo whimpered. "I'm just so grateful for what you just said."
"What I just said?" Taehyung raised his eyebrows. "About my answer?"
"Yeah," Jisoo nodded, sobbing hard. "Thank you for saying all that. I was so worried, wondering if my decision to dive straight into yet another relationship was the right one. But after hearing what you said... I'm twice as sure now that if it's you, it'll be okay. If it's you, I don't have to rush into things. I'll give you time and wait patiently for you, Taehyung, so give me time, too. And... thank you."
Taehyung smiled, as he wiped away the tears from Jisoo's face with his thumbs. "Alright, silly. So now, stop crying. Your eyes are gonna be swollen."
~
Jieun was shaking with a mixture of emotions - ranging from fear, to excitement, to anxiety, to dread, to happiness, to sadness, to nervousness, to-
"Somi left this for me?" Jieun glanced down at the envelope, with her name written on it in the familiar black ink. "Where did you find this?"
Jungkook hesitated. "Maybe you wanna read it first?"
Jieun's breathing quickened. "Can I?"
"It's your letter," Jungkook's voice was breathy. "You can do whatever you like with it."
Jieun swallowed hard as she looked down at the envelope in her hands once more. And for the first time, she really considered not reading it at all. She was just slowly getting over her grief from two weeks ago. If she read that now, it'd throw her into another state of deep sorrow and sadness-
"But I think you should read it," Jungkook suggested. "I mean, I know what's going through your mind right now. I, too, considered burning the letter Somi left me a while back. But... I'm glad I didn't. Because on sad days, when I really miss her, it brought me so, so much comfort. And I think it'll do the same for you."
Jieun looked up at Jungkook, who gave her an assuring nod. Then she looked down again, this time, tearing open the envelope slowly and pulling out the hand-written letter. With her heart pounding hard and fast against her rib cage, she began to read silently.
"To: Jieun :)
You're literally lying in my bed right now after
we watched that amazing romcom movie. You
look so, so peaceful and happy right now, I
really hope I don't wake you up :)
So... you must be finding this letter a few days
after... what happened to me. Firstly, I wanna
apologise for letting you find out this way. I have
no excuses, I just didn't have the courage to tell
you and even if I did, I wouldn't want to anyway.
You were such a happy smiley girl, I'd never
want to be the reason behind your frown before I left. I guess you could call me selfish too, I guess. Because your smile was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in this world. It was something I simply couldn't live without it in my remaining days. For being selfish, I'm sorry.
I'm going to your house tomorrow, and that's
when I plan to hide this letter behind one of
the photos of that massive photo album of yours, hehe :) I'm sure you're gonna find it so soon
though, because you'll probably flip through
that album when you miss me. Do you know
why I chose this particular photo though?
Haha, I'm sure you don't ;)
It's a photo that might not have meant much to
you, but it definitely meant a lot to me. Since I'm not sure if you still remember, let me help you recall. We took this photo on the first day we met. On the school rooftop. That day, I was having such a horrible day. I got into a quarrel with my brother and I was feeling HORRIBLE. You happened to be up there... and you came to talk to me first. Immediately after that conversation, I felt so much better. It may not have meant anything to you, but it sure meant a lot to me, since I always treasured my brother above anything else. That was our first encounter, and also the start of our precious friendships which I still treasure till this day.
Oops, I didn't tell you I had a brother, didn't I? :)
Well, to cut a long story short. I do, Jieun.
A lovely, responsible, dependable brother
who has done nothing but amazing things for
me in my short 16 years on this earth. His name
is Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook. A handsome fella,
I tell you. I always call him ugly straight to his
face, but sometimes I look at him and think,
'hey, mom and dad left us pretty great genes'. I
feel like you'd totally fall for him, Jieun. You've always liked handsome fellas, haven't you? ;)
Okay, I'm kidding, relax. You're probably
flaring your eyes at the photo of me right now
and hey! Don't do that. I don't appreciate it.
But truly, on this earth, if I had to choose only
two people I'd ever want to have by my side for
the rest of my life (which oops, is sadly over),
that'd be you and my brother, Jieun. That's
how much you both mean to me.
I'm sorry for not telling you that he existed till today. I couldn't really understand why I acted
that way, but as I write this now, I think I finally know why. I see so much in common between
you and him sometimes, Jieun. The way you
laugh, the way you think, the way you love me
so so much, the way even your interests and personalities are literally the exact same. You
must be thinking why I'd hide such a wonderful
guy from you all this while and my answer to
that is... I was selfish. I was afraid that once
you both met, you guys would get along so
well without me and I'd feel left out. You may think this is an irrational fear, but truly, Jieun, I feel like you guys would get along so well that no one can stand in between the two of you - not even me.
But that's the least of my worries now that I'm
gone, I guess. I know it's ridiculous of me to say
this now, but I truly hope that you guys get along. You'll probably see him at the funeral, you guys
will probably bond over the lost of your closest sibling and friend, but most of all, I hope that you both find comfort in each other and know that I
am up above, watching upon the two of you.
I hope you like the necklace I made for you too. It's actually a replica of one of the necklaces that I owned, with an "S" on it. I gave that one to my brother, and now this one, I give to you. Open it, Jieun. I hope you like it. I know that the next few days, weeks, months and even years without me would suck a lot. It'd probably suck almost half as much as if we had swapped positions, but well, it'd still suck. I love you, Jieun. You'll forever be my friend, my bestie, my sister, my confidant, my soulmate, and teacher. I love you so so much and
I'll miss you dearly. I hope this letter will give you comfort in this difficult time and that you'll
keep me in your heart for a long, long time.
Thank you for being my friend.
Love, Somi :)"
"Oh my god," Jieun whispered, unable to control herself as the tears escaped her eyes. She looked up from the letter at Jungkook. "Jungkook."
"What did she say?" Jungkook, his eyes already teary from watching Jieun, asked softly. "What did my sister say to you?"
"Somi, she-" Jieun sobbed. "She wanted us to be together."