Taehyung was exhausted.
Physically, mentally, whatever. He was sick and tired of being the pushover he was. He was annoyed that every single freaking time he made a promise to himself to let go and forget, something had to happen and his resolution would come crumbling down into pieces.
And this time was no different.
Just hours after leaving Jieun's house, Taehyung found himself wandering in a nearby park, only to arrive right below her block again - at the playground she once comforted him at. The place where he perhaps realised his own feelings for her, the place where his second unrequited love began.
So coincidentally, he had to receive a call then. And so very coincidentally, it had to be from her. And so very naturally, Taehyung pondered hard on whether to pick up, which was absolutely unnecessary since he was going to pick up anyway. And so very naturally, his resolution to get over her came crashing down once again, as he heard her quivering voice on the phone.
He was exhausted.
He didn't have a backbone.
He was done with her.
She needed him.
This was torture.
She didn't even like him back.
"I'm coming."
~
"I really wanted you to see this," Jimin smiled, putting an arm around Yoojung's shoulder as he gazed into the golden yellow horizon. "The famous Busan sunrise - this is my favourite spot I've always liked to come to since young. And today, I really wanted to share it with you."
Yoojung was so moved she felt like she could cry. "I... wow... Thank you... I... how should I put this... I'm so... wow..."
Jimin giggled, his eyes forming two adorable inverted crescent moons. "You don't need to say anything - I know."
Yoojung nodded silently, taking in the marvellous birds-eye view of Busan showered in dazzling glimmers of striking orange and golden yellow.
"I wanted to apologise for not being able to stop my grandma from telling you to do all this," Jimin pursed his lips, his facial expressions becoming serious all of a sudden. "It hurts my heart to see you do so much, and to see you absolutely exhausted, but because I know her, I know how stubborn she is. I know that when she sets her mind out to do something, no one can stop her - not even me."
"I know," Yoojung said quietly. "I don't blame you."
"I know you don't," Jimin reached down and grabbed Yoojung's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "That's why, I also want to thank you for putting up with all this."
"It's the very least I can do," Yoojung turned to face Jimin, staring up into his beautiful sharp features. "This is what a relationship is like - it's all about being patient, giving in, compromising. I've seen the way my parents act and that's why they never fight. They care so much about each other that they put each other's needs above their own. And that's how I feel about you, Jimin."
"You're-" Even under the sun's rays, it was easy to tell that Jimin was beaming. He was grinning from ear to ear as he let out a laugh of pure happiness.
And Yoojung knew, from the sound of it, how genuine and honest that laugh was. Jimin pulled Yoojung closer to him, wrapping his huge padded coat around her, enveloping her with a warm backhug. Yoojung giggled as she felt him rest his chin on her shoulder, tilting his head slightly such that it rested lightly against hers.
"How grateful am I to have you," As Jimin spoke, his words felt ticklish against Yoojung ear. "How I wish we could stand here together forever."
And Jimin was right. This was truly a moment to cherish. Just the two of them, in the middle of nowhere, in Jimin's safe haven, basking under the sun in each other's arms. With no distraction, no worries. Just with each other.
"Me too," Yoojung murmured with a sleepy smile.
The couple stood there for a while more, in absolute silence, just soaking in what was left of the sunrise. The sun was now fully risen, and it was starting to get hot, but neither of them seemed to mind. Finally, after a long time, Jimin spoke.
"Anyway," Jimin sniggered cheekily as he lifted his head off Yoojung's shoulder momentarily, his grip around her waist loosening. "What were you saying about sending you back to Seoul just now?"
"Well..." Yoojung bit her lower lip furtively. "I think I said I don't wanna go back to Seoul."
Jimin chuckled again, squeezing Yoojung tight in his arms once again. His embrace once again felt like a warm blanket in winter, giving her a sense of unbelievable comfort and ease.
The present was indeed a present.
Yoojung had no idea what she was in for for the rest of the trip and more specifically, what Jimin's grandma had in store for her. But right now, she was thankful. She was grateful to be right here, in his arms. She was grateful for the moment, grateful for this life. Yoojung glanced at Jimin once more, who had his eyes closed as he bathed in the sun's rays. Yoojung couldn't help but smile as she dug her head into his chest and closed her eyes contentedly.
All she wanted to do in this moment was enjoy every little bit of the present, together with him.
~
"It's so hard, Taehyung," Jieun bit her lip, trying hard not to cry. "I'm so tired of everything, I just wish I could tell him everything."
Taehyung took in everything - from the pile of remains of what seemed to be a glass of water smashed into smithereens, Jieun sitting on the floor next to it with a can of beer in hand, the lights all turned off- When he had received a couple of minutes ago, he'd expected to come up to see Jungkook still here. Perhaps the two had an argument or something, perhaps he could fix it - was what he told thought.
But that was before he saw the state Jieun was now in. She looked worse than he had seen him before he left that night. She no longer looked sick sick, she looked haggard, depressed, burdened. Taehyung was not dumb. Putting the pieces together, he figured that something must have happened between his two best friends. Perhaps what he thought was the best thing to do for her wasn't actually the best thing at all afterall.
"Why are you drinking?" Taehyung rushed forward, trying to pry the can of beer out of Jieun's hands. "You're not even legal yet - you're not even supposed to be drinking this."
"We drank it at the party at Hoseok's that night," Jieun mumbled, completely senseless. "It made me feel good that time, maybe this time it'll make me feel better too."
"That was an exception," Taehyung kept trying, but Jieun's grip on the can just grew stronger and stronger. "And if that's not a sufficient reason, today you're sick. You shouldn't be mixing your medicine with alcohol."
"I took my medicine a long while ago," Jieun took another swig at the can of beer. "Just let me drink. Maybe it'll finally knock me out, then I can finally stop thinking about everything."
Taehyung finally gave up, crashing onto the floor next to Jieun, leaning against the sofa behind him. He spotted the other five cans of beer left in the carton, and was suddenly reminded once again how alcohol did make him feel better. That night after Hoseok's... well, he did throw up a couple of times the next morning but that night, he slept like a baby...
"Let's just drink then," Taehyung reached out for a can and cracked it open. "Let's get wasted. That way, we don't need to think anymore."
Jieun let out a sad chuckle as she finished her first can and reached out for another. "Why isn't the beer working at all? Why am I feeling sadder and sadder?"
"Why do you feel so sad though?" Taehyung bit his lower lip. "What can you not tell him? What exactly happened between the two of you?"
"Between the two of us..." Jieun paused and for a moment there, Taehyung thought she was going to tell him everything. But her eyes came back into focus and she shook her head firmly. "No, Taehyung. I can't tell you anything, I'm sorry."
"Why?" Even with the alcohol now in his bloodstream, or perhaps it was because of the alcohol, Taehyung felt emotions of suppressed anger bubbling inside him. "Why can't you? You used to tell me everything?"
"That was then, Taehyung," Jieun murmured. "So much has changed. You've changed, I've changed... the entire situation has changed. I can't tell you some things anymore. That's just the way things are, I'm sorry."
"No," Taehyung's voice was quivering. "You've changed, Jieun. I haven't. I've always been here for you, how can you not see that? I'm a constant, you're the one who has never been able to catch on."
Jieun furrowed her eyebrows, glanced at Taehyung, then took another sip of beer before continuing. "Yeah, maybe. Maybe I'm the one who changed, Taehyung. Maybe I'm the only one. Whatever it is, I can't tell you anything - I just can't."
"Have you ever wondered how I felt then?" Taehyung bit his lower lip, but his emotions were still getting the better of him as tears welled up in his eyes.
This was so unlike him. He was used to bottling up his feelings, but this time, he felt like if he kept on with that, he might just implode. He had to let it out this time. It might not have been the best place, or time, but it was now or never.
Jieun looked at him, raising her eyebrows in surprise at how upset Taehyung looked. "Hey, are you okay-"
"No, I'm not," Taehyung inhaled sharply. "Not at all, Jieun. You keep telling me you're tired, have you ever thought that I may be just as tired as you are?"
"You don't understand, Taehyung," Jieun sighed. "If you knew my situation, you-"
"I'm tired too, Jieun," Taehyung went on, willing his tears not to fall. "Do you know how upsetting it is to see you cry all the time? How painful it is to see you destroying yourself, yet saying that you can't tell me the reason why you're doing this to yourself?"
"I know, I'm sorry, Tae, but-"
"You don't know," The tears in Taehyung's eyes went against his wishes and streamed down his cheeks, falling onto the ground with little pit-pat sounds. "You don't know anything, Jieun. So stop saying you know."
Jieun bit her lower lip as she lifted her can of beer to her mouth once more. But this time, Taehyung grabbed hold of her hand, preventing her from taking another sip. Startled, she turned around only to stare into Taehyung's tear-streaked face etched with sadness.
"You will never how it feels like to watch the person you like cry and not be the reason for their tears, Jieun." Taehyung's grip on Jieun's wrist tightened. "While I do."