Hey! I'm not particularly thrilled with how this chapter is written but I tried writing it so many different ways and this was the best out of all my attempts!
Please vote and comment, tell me what you think :)
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When I opened my eyes the next morning, everything was silent.
Except for the birds chirping outside and the low humming of the heating being on, there were no other noises. I wasn’t entirely sure of the time, but daylight was peeking out behind the curtains and considering the mornings were darker now we were nearing winter, I was guessing it must have been quite late in the morning.
I blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust to the light, before attempting to move. At the slightest movement, an ache broke out through my head, and I immediately groaned. I felt terrible.
I exhaled deeply and kicked the covers off, instantly coming to the realisation that I was still in my clothes from last night—apart from the jacket I was wearing that I knew for sure didn’t belong to me. For one thing, it was too big, and when I reached into the large pocket, I managed to find a small half-empty bottle of vodka and a packet of cigarettes. I frowned and sat up, stretching my mind to remember something, even if it was the tiniest detail. Suddenly, Blake flashed into my mind.
Another groan escaped my lips, this time at the memories that were flooding back into my head. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I began to unscrew the cap on the bottle, raising it to my lips and taking a couple of sips of the vodka. I immediately cringed, but my mouth was too dry for me to care.
I probably would’ve drunk some more if it hadn’t been from the cough that suddenly came from behind me. Jumping, I turned around to see Zacky stood in the doorway. His gaze dropped from my face to the bottle in my hands, and he immediately scowled.
“Started already, I see.” He said, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking into the room as he glanced at the clock. “At...eleven in the morning. Jeez, you are so fucking responsible. Please teach me to be like you.”
I wanted to react to his sarcasm, but my head was pounding too much to let me form any kind of reply. I simply just stared at him, placing the bottle down. Silently, he walked further in and slumped down into the chair in the corner, continuing to stare at me.
“I—‘’
“You fucking stupid little girl.” He snapped, interrupting my first attempt to speak. “What the hell were you thinking?”
Timidly, I shrugged.
He scowled. “I don’t know why I’m even bothering to ask. I mean, it was probably something along the lines of my dad’s busy with his parents so I can go out and get off of my face on drugs and alcohol as much as I want.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I matched his scowl.
“Oh, do I not?”
I shook my head, somewhat intimidated by his harsh gaze. I wanted to seem as strong as possible, but even looking at him was getting me upset all over again.
“Well whether I know what I’m talking about or not, it’s safe to say your dad is fucking livid.” He shrugged casually, which caused my stomach to drop. “He’s happy for me to carry on keeping an eye on you until his parents are gone, though. We both agreed it was best for you not to be around them after your little stunt last night.”
Of course I knew my dad was going to find out, but it didn’t stop worry coursing through me anyway. I’d half hoped that Zacky would just treat it as a one off and keep it between us, but now that my dad was aware of what had happened, I was absolutely dreading going home at the end of the week.
“Oh, yeah.” I quickly bit back, narrowing my eyes. “What with me being the disappointment of the family and all that.”
He scowled. “Don’t even start that, Midge. You know you’re—‘’
“I mean...” I interrupted him, shifting. “I love this family to death, but do you know what really pisses me off about you all? The fact that most of you have practically had your easy lives handed to you on a fucking silver platter.”
“I—‘’
“Look at you, for instance! You grew up in nice, sunny California with your wonderful family and you’re now living your life in this huge house, doing what you love to do!” I exclaimed. “And you’ve grown up with the perfect friends that are still by your side. You’re all living in your perfect little worlds when bam...the disappointment of the family walks in. Jasmine fucking Berry.”
“I am not going to listen to this.” He abruptly stood up and walked over to the door, shaking his head. “You need to just...calm yourself down. I refuse to sit here and hear this bullshit!”
“Why’s that, Zacky?” I raised my voice, hearing it crack as tears welled in my eyes. “Because it’s true?! Because I’m just your best friend’s waste of space kid that came here and has already screwed up so much? The girl that can’t stop making people mad at her and can’t even keep a fucking boyfriend!”
At that, his face fell.
I couldn’t bear to look at him. Even so much as being in his presence after blurting that last bit of the sentence out was making me feel awkward. A tear escaped out of the corner of my eye and I quickly buried my face into my hands, squeezing my eyes shut. It was like I was pursing my lips as hard as I could to suppress the sob that was creeping up my throat and threatening to leave my mouth. As I forced it back down, my body began to shake
I heard him walk further into the room again and seconds later, the mattress dipped down from where he perched himself on the very end of the bed, keeping a considerable amount of distant between us. I still refused to look at him, trying to subtly wipe my tears away as I stared down and pulled my knees into my chest. In front of me, he cleared his throat, dragging both of his hands slowly over his face.
“So that’s what all this is about?” He quietly said, also staring down. “All this misbehaving? The attitude?”
I finally glanced at him, narrowing my eyes angrily. “Are you seriously fucking asking me that? You thought it might be something else? That I just decided to take those pills because I felt like spicing my evening up a little bit?!”
He sighed deeply, then tugging at his hair in exasperation. He didn’t seem to have a reply to that, and I was growing upset again.
“You broke my fucking heart!” I exclaimed, my voice cracking as it mixed in with a sob.
“I know.” He nodded, sighing again. “I know I did.”
Wiping more tears away, I turned my head to the side and tried to focus on something else—anything. A couple of minutes passed with me just looking out of the window while Zacky appeared to be staring at me, studying my face. I wasn’t going to stare back.
“When I saw your dad last Friday...when he came over...” He spoke again, shifting on the bed, “He said you’ve been crying a lot.”
In all honestly, it made me feel even worse that my dad had noticed that I’d not been okay and that I’d been crying a lot more and he’d not even bothered to try to make me feel better, but that was the least of my worries right now. And it was probably the least of his, too.
“Yeah, well...” I whispered, snivelling. “Like I said, you—‘’
“Broke your heart.” He quickly cut me off. “I get it, Midge.”
Suddenly, at the slight snappiness of his tone, I grew furious. I hated the fact that he was sat here, being so rude to me after everything he’d done. I wanted to retaliate.
“Why are you getting annoyed at me, huh?!” I yelled, standing up and ignoring the ache in my head. “This is on you, Zacky! It’s all your doing!”
“I didn’t shove that fucking pill down your throat!”
“No. You didn’t.” I shook my head. “But you made me feel so shit and unwanted that I didn’t even care anymore. I still don’t!”
All of a sudden, my hand was being pulled on and I fell down onto the bed. Zacky glared at me sternly, his intimidating gaze making me back up ever so slightly. As he stared me down, I breathed out shakily.
“Don’t you say that!” He whispered, even his voice sounding like it was cracking the slightest bit. “Don’t you dare.”
Pulling my arm away, I shrugged weakly. “It hurts. Too much. I love you.”
He stood up then, and began to pace the floor, dragging his hands over his face again. I watched him, my gaze darting along with his every move as I waited for him to say something. With every second that passed, I just felt like crying more and more.
“I know.” He eventually said, still whispering. “And I know what this is doing to you and believe me, it’s not easy to watch. But I freaked the fuck out, Midge. So badly. If we’d have got caught, I...”
I stared down as he trailed off. “We can be more careful. I’ll make sure of it. I swear I will.”
More pacing then came, and it just appeared to be worsening my headache, but I kept my eyes pinned on him. I was trying to work anything I could out. It was hard to know what he was thinking and feeling, but his expression usually gave it away. Now, it just seemed completely blank. I didn’t have the slightest clue.
“It’s a really difficult situation, Midge.” He murmured, stopping on the spot and staring down. “Really difficult.”
I continued to stare at him. “...It doesn’t have to be. It can be made easier.”
Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head and glanced at the clock, sighing. “I have things to do. I have to go see Matt.”
“Fuck it then.” I abruptly stood up, looking around for my shoes. “Just...fuck all of this. What’s the point anymore, huh?”
Immediately, he grabbed hold of my arm, his face falling. “Please don’t go out. For me. Please. Be here when I get home.”
Whether it was his gentle touch on my arm or his pleading expression, I wasn’t sure, but I felt my own expression softening and I soon nodded. I didn’t want to make him even madder at me.
“And then we can talk when I get back.” He nodded, dropping his hand back by his side. “Properly.”
With yet another nod, I slumped back down onto the bed and watched as he walked towards the door, opening it. Just watching him walk away was upsetting me, even though he was only going to Matt’s. I just wanted to talk to him. For him to hold me. I wanted everything to be okay again.
As he stepped out of the door and into the hallway, he turned to face me once more, a pained expression painted on his face.
“Midge?” He murmured, clearing his throat.
I stared at him questioningly, and he shifted, before speaking again.
“Being away from you has been killing me a lot more than you think.”
And then he just left.