❝At first I thought you were a constellation. I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation: You're as beautiful as endless. You're the universe I'm helpless in.❞ -Sleeping At Last, Venus
Hunter's house was an average, suburban house. He once told me about his home on the Westside, decked with a pool, home theatre and gaming room, but his parents decided to move to a quieter place once Hunter's baby brother came along. He's only five years old, currently out of town with his parents. Hunter has the whole house to himself, so of course he decides to invite two hundred people over.
Hunter didn't give a shit about what got broken, from what I could tell. All the delicate objects were still out on display and when a kid had knocked over a vase, he hadn't really cared. He made the boy clean it up, but other than that, he didn't seem to mind the fact that he was now down a vase.
"Hunter's parents are loaded," Noah explains. "They're not really materialistic, which is why they moved here, but anything that gets broken can easily be replaced to them."
"Huh," Thalia says with a wry smile. "I guess that's why they decided to have another kid. We all know Hunter's a little broken in the head, so it makes sense that they're trying to replace their mistake."
Damon snorts, "I can't imagine why. Every kid the James' have popped out have been little demons. They should've stopped at Hunter."
We all laugh and Hunter comes up from behind us, draping his arms over both Noah and I's shoulders. "Hey, we may be demons, but we're pretty." Hunter winks, which causes us to laugh again.
"Looks fade, babe," Alyce crosses her arms. "You should probably start working on a skill soon. Your looks are already leaving you; you don't have much time left."
Hunter's jaw drops in disbelief at his girlfriend, "why am I dating you again?"
"Because I'm pretty and a delight to be around," Alyce states in a duh tone.
Hunter snaps his fingers, "oh, that's right, because you look hot in a cheerleading outfit."
Alyce slaps him on the back of his head and he lets go of Noah and I, wrapping his arms around Alyce's waist and snuggling his face into her neck. She giggles and hugs him back.
"Make it fucking stop," Damon covers his eyes. "PDA makes me want to gauge my eyes out."
Hunter then proceeds to kiss Alyce passionately in the middle of the living room. We all groan in response and Hunter flips us off before leading Alyce upstairs.
I spot Joshua leaning against the wall, talking to a pretty girl with blonde hair. I think it's the same girl from the skiing trip he had sat with on the bus. I find myself looking for an extra second and Joshua catches my eyes, grinning a little.
I will always love Josh, just not in the same way as before. I will always love him for the memories he gave me. For teaching me how to understand poetry through a broken heart. For being my first love. I will always love him for being him.
It is said that one's first love will always hold a special place in your heart, and I have found this to be true. Joshua Williams will always be someone I will hold close to my heart, and I wouldn't have it any other way. He taught me how to survive, whereas Noah taught me how to live.
"I'm just going to talk to Josh for a few minutes," I murmur into Noah's ear. "Is that alright?"
"You don't need my permission, and I hope you know I completely trust you," Noah presses a gentle kiss on my cheek, "just don't be too long, love."
I excuse myself from my friends and head over to the pair. The girl regards me with a look of recognition, but not much else. "Diana, this is Quinn. Quinn, Diana." Joshua introduces us.
We exchange pleasantries and Quinn eventually slips away to get more drinks, leaving Josh and I alone.
I grin a little, nodding my head in Quinn's direction, "what's your deal with her?"
Josh chuckles, "it's not love but it's better than dreaming."
I nod slowly, actually understanding him for once. "I hope one day you find the one you're meant to love. You deserve it."
He shakes his head sadly, "I've already found my one. I'm just not hers."
He looks at me, his eyes giving away everything. "I'm sorry," was all I could manage to utter.
"It's not your fault." Josh shrugs, trying to act nonchalant. He nods in the direction of my boyfriend. "You and Noah look good together."
He doesn't wait for a response. He pushes himself off the wall and walks towards Quinn who had two cans in her hands. All I could do was watch as my first love finally walked away from me.
Suddenly, an unexpected voice starts speaking, "he finally let you go, huh?"
I turn to face Mackenzie, her chocolate brown hair tied up into a high ponytail. She was looking at Quinn and Josh, a trace of amusement on her features.
"We both let go," I told her honestly. "I was hanging on to the idea of him and who he used to be, especially the night of New Years. But I've learned that he's no longer that guy, and I'm no longer that girl. We don't love each other the same way anymore."
Mackenzie nods understandingly, "I think that's how it is with Noah and I now. I used to be in love with him, you know. I never even thought about any other boy until Damon came hurtling into my life like a goddamn bowling ball."
I chuckle, actually finding myself enjoying Mackenzie's company, "is it different this time? With Damon?"
Mackenzie nods without a second thought, "yes. When I'm with him...God, it's like I can do anything I set my mind to. He makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. I hadn't even realized I had fallen for him."
"What made you realize?"
"I remember a specific moment," Mackenzie smiles a little. "It was the night of the party at Amelia's friend's cabin. I think his name is Connor? Anyway, I got a little too drunk and Damon took me back to my room. I fell asleep pretty quickly, but when I woke up at around two AM, Damon was taking off my makeup and he had put everything to cure a hangover on the nightstand for when I woke up. There was water, an Advil, a sticky note that said to call him when I woke up so he could make me breakfast, he moved the garbage to the bedside and made a cup of tea for in case I woke up in the night. He was embarrassed that I caught him doing all this sweet stuff, but I knew right then and there that I had fallen so impossibly in love with him. I was a goner."
Hearing Mackenzie talk about Damon was shocking and unnatural to me. It was odd hearing all the things Damon's done for Mackenzie and I wasn't used to Mackenzie being so genuine. When she talked about him, I could tell just how authentic their love truly is. She loves him and he loves her.
They had a rough start and showed that love isn't easy, but they are proof that the future's promises hold more sincerity and joy than yesterday's regrets.
They make me believe in true perseverance.
"Can I give you some advice, Diana?" Mackenzie asks me. I nod, encouraging her to continue speaking, "I gave up on Noah once. Don't make the same mistake that I did."
I agree with her and we share a moment of understanding. To lose Noah is to lose a piece of complete and utter happiness that most take for granted. Now that I fully comprehend what it's like to be loved by him, I'm never letting go.
If I've learned anything, it's that patience is important when it comes to love. A flower takes time to grow and fully blossom; love should be treated the same way, and you've got to appreciate it when you have it because you never know when it can wither away. I have a feeling, though, that Noah and I have grown to an endless garden of beautiful flowers, and that we'll never wither away.
A/N: I think Sleeping At Last has the most beautiful lyrics of all time. They're simply magical. In fact, I use a lot of his lyrics as inspiration for writing. If anyone knows an artist with lyrics as gorgeous as SAL's, let me know.