Jisoo couldn't believe it.
Life was fragile, she'd been told since she was young. But never would she have thought that she'd ever receive a call telling her that her parents were involved in a car accident.
It all felt too real.
The minute Jisoo had put down the phone, the first thing she did wasn't to rush out of the house, or start sobbing - she was in too much of a shock to do any of that.
Instead, she sat up in her bed, staring at the different pieces of furniture in the room. The photo frame that contained the picture of her parents and her when she was little - the only happy part of her childhood that wasn't consumed by studying, academics and grades. They were all smiling, and they were all happy.
Then there was the little drawer it rested on. Jisoo remembered the day they all moved into this house. It was back when she was 6, but Jisoo remembered every little thing that happened that day. Her dad had picked up this drawer just because she wanted it, and carried it all the way up the stairs to her room, almost spraining his back in the process.
Then there was her wardrobe filled with all the clothes and accessories she'd ever wanted. She'd actually spent their money however she liked, buying even things she didn't even want, just to spite them for not spending time with her. But now she realised, how many people her age actually had the money to buy whatever they wanted? How many people her age had parents who could give their daughter anything she wanted?
Her whole room was filled with memories she had with her parents, yet she had taken it all for granted all this while, her feelings of gratitude drowned by the loathing she had towards them for not spending quality time with her.
But only now did she realise. She realised that her parents loved her, they loved her so freaking much. They just didn't know how to express it, and she, didn't know how to receive it. They were all loving one another in ways that were never received.
You really only miss the sun when it starts to snow.
Wild thoughts raced through Jisoo's mind as her eyes welled up with tears, thinking of all the things that could have possibly happened to her parents. She had just made up her mind earlier to finally apologise and mend the bond they had never really had in the past 18 years of her life, but now it might even be too late.
Something horrible had happened to them, and Jisoo wasn't even sure if they could even be able to hear her apology at this point. If only she had mustered enough courage to talk to them earlier- If only she didn't have this stupid ideology that apologising equated to weakness- If only she had not taken the things they did for her for granted, and treasured every single moment she had with them-
If only-
Jisoo swallowed hard. She didn't even want to imagine what life would be like without her parents. She loved them, she loved them more than she even realised. Hopping out of bed, Jisoo slipped a jacket over her shoulders and headed out of her room, hoping and praying, with all the energy she could muster, that her parents were alright.
~
Jungkook arrived at Jieun's house later in the morning, only to realise that Kim Taehyung - that trickster of a man - had set everything up.
Firstly, the door was left unlocked, so when Jungkook tried to knock, the door just creaked open. Secondly, when he headed to Jieun's room to check on her, there was literally a basin next to her bed. Jieun herself couldn't have done that, given her weak state.
But what confirmed Jungkook's suspicions, however, was the note he had very so considerately left on the sofa in the living room for him, which read "You owe me big time, Jeon Jungkook". Jungkook didn't exactly understand what that meant, but he was too exhausted to put too much thought to it. After quickly making sure that Jieun's temperature was alright, Jungkook crashed onto the sofa, falling asleep within seconds.
He awoke to the loudest bang later in the morning, much to his alarm. Staying as still as he could, he suddenly wondered if he had accidentally left the door unlocked and a robber had come in. But as he watched a small shadow sneak past him, he realised all at once who it was.
Lee Jieun.
Jungkook swallowed hard, laying there quietly, not dating to make a sound. He'd made a promise to himself, on the way here, that he'd arrive, make sure of Jieun was alright, take a short snooze and make his way home before she even woke up.
But now she was awake, and he was in trouble. Jungkook thought that perhaps if he lay still enough, Jieun wouldn't even notice him. Then once she returned to her room, he'd creep out of the door... completely unnoticed.
Jungkook took a small peak over his shoulder, realising all of a sudden that Jieun wasn't going anywhere. She was sitting directly opposite him on the sofa. Had she noticed him already? Why wasn't she turning on the lights? Why wasn't she chasing him out of her house?
It was as if Jieun had heard his thoughts, because at that very moment, Jieun finally spoke.
"Taehyung-" Jieun whispered, her voice cracking.
Taehyung?
Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, trying to grasp the situation. What on earth was going on right now? Jieun actually thought he was Taehyung? Jungkook remained as still as a statue, listening on.
"I-" Jieun swallowed hard. "Taehyung, I-"
The number of questions Jungkook had at this point was countless. Why would she be talking to someone she thought was sleeping? And why wasn't she even surprised that Taehyung was in her house? Why was she even sitting there? Why did she sound so... so...
"Taehyung, I..." Jieun's voice kind of faded away as she completed her sentence. "I was responsible for what happened to Somi."
Jungkook's breath hitched.
~
Jieun stared blankly at Jungkook, unable to process what was going on.
How much did he even hear?
Jieun rubbed her eyes, blinking several times to see if that made Jungkook disappear. But no, it wasn't a dream and Jungkook - the real Jungkook - living and breathing, sat right opposite her, his lips parted, staring straight back at her with his big doe eyes, as he slowly retracted his hand back from the light switch.
Both of them stared at each other, in complete silence, apart from the creaking noise made by ceiling fan in the living room.
Smash!
Jieun recoiled backwards instinctively as a sudden loud crashing noise filled the room, as she glanced down only to see the glass that used to be in her hand shattered all over the ground, just the way her heart did when she had found out the truth a week ago. The torture Jieun had put herself through in the past week made it felt like an eternity, but again, just like the glass of water, her efforts to hide the truth from Jungkook were now shattered into smithereens.
Jieun reached down to pick up what was left of the glass.
"Don't!"
Jieun stopped halfway to glance up, only to see Jungkook staring back down at her. Worry was written all over Jungkook's face, his arm slightly outreached to stop Jieun from picking up the glass from the ground.
"Don't pick it up, you'll get hurt."
Jieun swallowed.
"No-" Jieun tried to control her tone, despite how fast her heart was racing. "What are you even doing here?"
"I found out you were sick," Jungkook bit his lower lip, watching Jieun carefully. "Oh- um, Taehyung told me."
"Taehyung, that-" Jieun mumbled under her breath.
"But what are you doing out here?" Jungkook interrupted her. "You should rest."
"I'm fine now, so... you can go," Jieun said emotionlessly, staring at the glass shards strewn all over the living room floor. "You should go."
Did he really not hear anything or was he pretending?
"Let me help you clean it up first," Jungkook pursed his lips. "Then I'll leave."
"No, it's okay," Jieun took a deep breath, not meeting Jungkook's eyes. "Just go."
"You might get hurt," Jungkook stood up, reaching forward to help. "You're not well, Jieun. Just let me do this for you-"
"I said, just go!" Jieun exploded before she could even stop herself, she stared up at Jungkook, who looked down at her with a look of complete shock. "What do you not understand about that?!"
"I get it, I get it," Jungkook backed away, lifting his arms dramatically. "I know you hate me, I'll leave, okay?"
"Yes, please," Jieun sounded more exasperated than thankful, but truly, she was just so on edge.
Please don't say anything, just leave-
Jungkook walked towards the door, but Jieun still couldn't calm down. Her heart pounded against her ribcage as she watched Jungkook stop in his tracks and turn around.
"Then what you said about-"
Jieun froze.
"What did I say?" Jieun bit her lower lip, her eyes widened, her face aghast. "What did you hear?"
Jungkook pursed his lips, watching Jieun quietly. Then very slowly, he shook his head and turned away, walking out of the door.
"Never mind. And... take care."
~
"MOM! DAD!"
Jisoo burst into the hospital, scanning the room for any trace of her parents she could gather. Tears were flowing down her cheeks as she searched in vain, her anxiety skyrocketing as every minute passed.
"Ma'am," Jisoo heard a lady's voice behind her. "Please calm down." Jisoo turned around to see a pale slender woman looking at her in confusion. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
"Nurse-" Jisoo grabbed the nurse's arms, shaking her a little, her desperation evident. "Please- my parents- they- they-"
A look of realisation flashed across her face, as she became solemn all of a sudden. "Ah, you must be the daughter of the couple that was involved in the car accident. I just want to say, I'm so so sorry."
Jisoo's face fell.
"Sorry about what? What happened to them? Where are they? Are they- Are they-"
Alive?
The nurse's eyes drifted towards the corner of the room, sectioned away from the rest of the beds by a curtain.
Oh my god.
Jisoo staggered towards the corner of the room, her mind clouded with wild thoughts. What if they just left her like that? She didn't even have the chance to say goodbye, she wasn't the best daughter they had ever wished for- she wasn't even a good daughter to begin with.
Jisoo swallowed hard, trying to clear the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. She felt her knees buckle under her weight - they no longer felt like they had any energy left to carry her any further.
All she wanted was some love from her parents, but as a result, she had wasted years. Years of time that could have been used more fruitfully. Years of time that she could have tried. If only she had taken the first step, to approach them, to understand them, instead of hoping for them to take the initiative - everything could have turned out so differently.
Years of time, now stripped away from her.
As tear after tear rolled down her cheek, Jisoo regretted everything. The photo that stood on her cupboard now could be the last photo they would ever have together. The image of her walking past her parents whenever she arrived home from school, ignoring their gazes, would haunt Jisoo for the rest of her life.
Jisoo's knees went weak as she crumbled to the floor, sobbing in a puddle of tears. She knew that people were watching her from every other corner of the room, but she couldn't care less. Not when she was literally about to be consumed by her own thoughts.
"Mom... Dad..." Jisoo wept against the curtain, her tears soaking the corner of the white cloth.
They should have made the first move. Even if Jisoo was not mature enough to do so, at least they should have. Maybe then, they would have had a relationship. Maybe then, Jisoo wouldn't have to live with this overwhelming sense of guilt and regret. Alone, without them.
She hated them.
"Please come back," Jisoo sobbed, feeling breathless from crying nonstop. "I promise I'll be a good daughter from now. Please, just come back."
She loved them.