Cal: I wanna lick lick lick lick you from your head to your toes
Lukey: ಠ_ಠ
Ash: woah
Ash: ok
Mikey: you can lick me anytime callywally ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ash: oh
Cal: I'll talk to you more about that later boo ;)
Lukey: well this has gotten awkward
Cal: has it?
Ash: guys I may need to go to the hospital
Mikey: what did you do this time
Lukey: you didn't break your wrist did you?
Ash: no
Cal: then what
Ash: my Bopalopashomallamadingdong hurts.
Mikey: your whet??
Ash: my penis..
Cal: do you have herpes or sumtin?
Mikey: ASHTONS GOT THE HERPS
Ash: no!
Ash: it's sore
Mikey: why is the fuck is it sore?!
Ash: idk it started hurting when I woke up.
Cal: well what did you do last night?
Ash: .....luke
Lukey: .....
Mikey: ........
Cal: you did luke?
Cal: like you fucked him?
Ash: uh yeah
Cal: and now your dick hurts?
Ash: yeah.
Mikey: well fuck
Mikey: how hard did you guys go damn
Lukey: go hard or go home
Cal: oh LAWRDY
Ash: I think it may be bruised
Lukey: my ass my be bruised.
Lukey: you ever think about that ashton?!
Lukey: OH IM ASHTON AND MY DICK HURTS BOO WHOO IM NOT GUNNA EGGNOLAGE THE FACT THAT MY BOYFRIENDS ASS MAY BE RUINED BC OF HOW HARD I FUCKED HIM. BUT THATS JUST THE KIND OF INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE I AM SO OH WHALE!
Cal: eggnolage?
Ash: SHUT YOUR BUBBLE GUM DUM-DUM LOOKIN ASS THE FUCK UP LUCAS
Mikey: you two have some serious issues to work out here.
Cal: let Dr.Hood and Dr.Clifford (aka the luv doctors) sail your relationship on the right wave.
Mikey: Dr.Clifford at your service
Cal: okay now...Lucas is it?
Cal: Lucas why don't you tell us why you exploded on Ashton when complains about his penis?
Lukey: well that's because all that little shit ball does is complain
Lukey: all day everyday!
Ash: THATS A LIE
Cal: Ashton it's Lucas's turn to talk
Mikey: yeah ashton shut the hell up
Ash: fuck you man
Cal: Lucas you may continue
Lukey: right where was I
Lukey: okay so he complains about every little thing but then when I try and complain all he does is yell and news flash I think I should be the one who gets to complain bc I can't even sit down okay my ass fucking hurts
Mikey: Right, yes we understand Lucas. Now is there anything you want to add Ashton?
Ash: why of course.
Ash: I do not complain about everything okay! He's the one always complaining he's got the whole thing switched! He's always coming to me complaining about random shit like no hunny back the fuck off of me. And I get your ass hurts cool okay whatever but guess what my dick hurts just as bad so you can shit the fuck up!
Lukey: YOUVE NEVER HAD A DICK UP YOUR ASS YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS JACKBUTT
Cal: alright simmer down simmer down
Mikey: I think we have come to a solution to fix this problem.
Ash: what?
Cal: You two are going to has sex.
Lukey: but my ass hurts!
Mikey: right. That is why Lucas is going to be fucking Ashton. You are reversing the rolls. Lucas tops Ashton bottoms.
Ash: ahahahahahshajhahahhahah
Ash: no
Lukey: yes
Ash: wtf no
Cal: it will teach both of you what it's like. Ashton will no doubt have his ass destroyed and Lucas's dick will probably hurt.
Lukey: you guys are the worst doctors ever
Ash: agreed
Lukey: are you guys even real love doctors?
Mikey: DONT QUESTION OUT WORK NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO FUCK EACHOTHER
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A/N
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