-July-
The fourth of July. Independence day. Steve's birthday. For the past few days Tony and Bruce let Jessie take a break from working to help Pepper plan a party for Steve. Bucky stayed in the room Tony gave him after Jessie got back from the mission. Early in the morning while Steve was in the training room, Pepper and Jessie quickly began to set up. The theme was, obviously, red, white and blue. After Jessie and Pepper finished setting up for the party, Jessie went to get Steve. Since he was concentrated with his training, she did her best to annoy him. Steve put the weight down carefully before walking over to her, an annoyed look on his face.
“Okay, big guy, I didn’t want you to get upset,” Jessie spoke as she backed up before taking off in a run trying her best to get away from Steve. She got to the elevator quickly pressing the button but Steve got inside just before the doors closed. Steve began to attack Jessie with tickles. She squealed and fell as Steve tickled her, both of them laughing. The elevator made it to the main floor of the building, the doors opening. Steve did a double take as he looked into the room. Red, white and blue streamers hung from the ceiling along with a white banner with blue and red decorations saying Happy Birthday Steve! Steve walked into the room leaving a giggling Jessie lying on the floor trying to catch her breath from laughing so much.
“What the he-“ Steve began saying but was cut off by a group of people popping up from behind couches and chairs exclaiming “Happy birthday!” Steve’s eyes widened as he smiled. Jessie got up and walked over to him giving him a hug.
“Happy 96th birthday, soldier.”
“Thank you, Jess. Did you set this up?”
“With Pepper’s help, yes. You like it?”
“I love it.” Steve looked around to see Tony, Bruce, Pepper, Natasha, Sam, Bucky and Sharon. The party went as planned. Steve opened presents, they all had cake after the dinner Jessie put together. Steve felt and looked like a kid, excited to open the presents and eat cake. The cake looked like his shield, which was supposed to be as a joke. After eating cake and putting away any leftovers, fireworks began. Everyone was startled by the sudden boom until they saw the color in the air. Tony laughed when Steve ran out onto the balcony like a little kid. Everyone else followed except for Jessie and Bucky who stood inside.
"Мне жаль," Jessie spoke quietly. Bucky looked at her.
"What?"
"Мне жаль."
"For what?"
"Last month. It’s just, the memories rushed back a little too quickly." Bucky walked over to Jessie and pulled her into a hug.
"It's alright. I was never mad at you after that. I figured that was what happened... Even if I was never mad at you I forgive you."
“Thank you, Buck.” Jessie looked up into his eyes before she pressed her lips against Bucky’s. The lights from the fireworks illuminated off their faces. Outside on the balcony, Tony was looking around and noticed the two, pointing them out. Natasha, Sharon, Sam, and Pepper smiled and awed at the cuteness. Tony put a hand on Steve and Bruce’s shoulder.
“Our little girl’s grown up,” he joked pretending to cry. Jessie smiled into the kiss. Bucky’s arms snaked around her waist, holding her against him as if protecting her. The rest of the night went on to watching the fireworks.
-December-
December 16. It was Jessie’s birthday. She would be turning 29 biologically. She couldn’t remember when she or Bucky had a proper birthday while Steve had his 5 months ago. Pepper was in the other room setting up with Natasha who had stayed in New York for the five months since Steve’s birthday. Jessie was in the lab sitting on her desk, guitar in hand. Tony had gotten it for her as an early birthday present. Over the months of working with her, Tony and Bruce learned that she loved music and playing the guitar, often times writing down chords to songs she knew and loved on her notes. Also, she would occasionally start humming a tune. Since it was her birthday, and she was given the day off, she thought she could put her free time to good use. Jessie started off playing random chords, trying to get used to the feeling of playing them with a metal arm. Tony watched as she started playing ‘Saturn’ by Sleeping At Last, a song Pepper introduced to her a while back. Jessie began to quietly sing.
“You taught me the courage of stars before you left,
How lights carries on endless, even after death,
The shortness of breath you explained the infinite,
How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist.
I couldn’t help but ask for you to say it all again,
I tried to write it down but I could never find a pen,
I’d give anything to hear you say it one more time,
That the universe was made to be seen by my eyes.
I couldn’t help but ask for you to say it all again,
I tried to write it down but I could never find a pen,
I’d give anything to hear you say it one more time,
That the universe was made to be seen by my eyes.
With shortness of breath,
I’ll explain the infinite,
how rare and beautiful,
it truly is that we exist.”
A sudden beep came from the computer, slightly startling the Sergeant when she finished.
“Ah-hah, there we go,” Tony said as he went to check the computer. The printer started up as four sheets of paper were printed. Tony grabbed the papers from the printer and went to hand them to the female soldier who was setting the guitar down. He stopped when he saw the confusion on her face. “Here, I thought you might want to read these…” Jessie took the papers and began to read them, her brain quickly comprehending what they were.
Property of S.S.R.
Level 3 Operative
Unreceived Letter #1
June 15, 1943
Jessica,
Arrived at Fort Dix for 9 more weeks of basic. Hope you’re
taking care of Steve and that he isn’t lying in a ditch some-
where already, the punk. Lay off the heroics for a little while,
both of you, okay? I don’t want to scrape you off every alley
in NY when I get back.
Sorry for leaving in the dead of night. You looked like you
needed the rest. You always look like you need the rest.
You’re always working. You should take a rest once in a
while. This may sound like a bad thing, but I actually miss
you being on the front lines with me and the boys..
I know Steve is running out of pills for his asthma, so check
the space behind the first cupboard. And don’t even think
about complaining, it’s not like they take American money
where I’m going.
Take care of yourself and Steve.
Yours,
James Buchanan Barnes
Property of S.S.R.
Level 3 Operative
Unreceived Letter #2
Dear Bucky,
I don’t know if you’ll get this where you are and I know this
might be late but… Steve and I aren’t in Brooklyn anymore,
Buck. He finally enlisted! He met Dr. Erskine at the enlistment
booth at the Expo and he gave Steve a chance.
…I think Steve is starting to like this dame, my friend Agent
Peggy Carter at Camp Lehigh. Hodge was bothering her, and
she stayed quiet. Gave him a big ol’ black eye when he tried
back talking us. I bet you’d like that. At least you’d be brave
enough to talk to her unlike Rogers.
Remember, you’re not allowed to win the war without us!
I have to go now. Erskine is calling Steve for a check-up
and I have to be there.
Yours sincerely,
Jessica James Evans
Property of S.S.R.
Level 3 Operative
Unreceived Letter #3
September 22, 1943
Jess,
We’re pushing further into Austria tomorrow. I thought there
might be more beer. Off to kill some Nazis if they don’t kill us.
Jess, whatever happens I need Steve to stay in Brooklyn. I
need you to be there if- when I get back. Tell the kid to STOP
enlisting! War isn’t like the movies, you and I both know that.
Take care of yourself and Steve and don’t forget his asthma
pills. I’ll see you soon.
I want to go home.
I miss you..
Yours,
James Buchanan Barnes
Property of S.S.R.
Level 3 Operative
Unreceived Letter #4
December 23, 1944
Dear Bucky,
Remember how you said that when the war was over we’d
buy out a liquor store and finally get Steve drunk?
He tried and it didn’t work.
I can’t sleep Buck. I keep- And even when I’m awake I feel
like I’m dreaming because I turn around and you just aren’t
there.
Bucky, I-
I love you
Please come back
Please
Jessie was now sitting at her desk. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and did so after she closed them. The droplets of water fell onto the paper making the ink smudge slightly. She hid her face in her hands. Tony walked over to her and place a hand on her shoulder before pulling her into a hug.
“I’m sorry Jess,” he spoke smoothly, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought that since they were unreceived you would at least want to see what he was writing.”
“H-How did you get these?” Jessie asked looking at the chocolate brown eyes which belonged to her fellow scientist.
“Hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D. to see if there was any information about Barron Wolfgang Von Strucker. Steve mentioned his name to Bucky and I wanted to find more information on him. Maybe something from the S.S.R. Found these letters a few days ago. Thought to give them to you on your birthday.”
“Well, thank you Tony. It’s not like my reaction would’ve been any different.”
“You’re lucky you were able to get him back.”
“It’s not the same… He’s not the same James that he was before the war. He’s changed, a lot, in many ways since then.”
“Crazy how war can do that to people. New York - nothing has been the same since then. I couldn’t sleep. You experience things, then they’re over and you still can’t explain them? Every night at my home in Malibu I couldn’t sleep, sometimes I still can’t. After Pepper went to bed, I always snuck down to the lab to work on my suits. Nothing can always be the same.”
“I know. I was in a similar place as you after Bucky fell off the train. I was put in isolation by your father wasn’t let out until Steve decided to storm into Hydra and at the end of the war. I couldn’t sleep. I still can’t sleep, even cry myself to sleep. Guess the thought of him still being alive and with us now still hasn’t put in a full effect. Even if he’s there, I don’t think he is. The real him isn’t there. Even if he acts like he is, he isn’t. That Bucky Barnes died on that train fall.”
“But you have him back, that’s all that should matter. Have you two even started sharing a room again? Go on a date? Do “stuff”?” Jessie glared at Tony when he asked the last question, but shook her head ‘no’. “Alright, I know what my next task is. How about we go to the other room, see if Pepper and Nat are done.”
“With what?”
“Setting up for your birthday party.” Tony took Jessie’s hand as he led her out of the lab and to the other room where party streamers and banners where hung up. The streamers were blue and silver. The banner that hung was similar to the one from Steve’s birthday party, except this one said “Happy Birthday Jessie!” Natasha and Pepper walked over to her when she and Tony walked in, and gave her hugs while saying “Happy birthday Jess.” The party went well. Steve put together a dinner. When the party ended, everyone went to their rooms for the night. Jessie went outside on the balcony and looked over the city as snow fell. Bucky walked outside to join her.
“To think the year is almost over and we’ll be going back to D.C. soon,” Jessie said. “Buck, I have a confession to make.” She turned to look at him to find him carefully watching her.
“If it’s about your secret, Steve already told me,” he said.
“What? He did?” Bucky nodded. “You’re not upset I never told you?” Bucky took her hand in his. The cold metal from his hand sent a chill up her arm. He kept her hand warm with his own flesh one before pressing her hand to his warm lips. Bucky held her hand to his chest and began to speak.
“I was shocked. I would never get upset if it were for that reason. Jess, back in the 40’s, if I could’ve been with one person, it would’ve been you. Now it may’ve been a miscarriage, but I’m happy for the reason that I was going to be the father.” Bucky gently caressed her cheek and smiled. “I never really got the chance to say this, but I love you, Jess. And I will always be here for you.”
“I love you too, James. I always will.”