Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
I woke up hearing that. I immediately sat up rubbing my eyes.
There was a soft knock at the door. I immediately got off the bed, and opened the door to find Steve standing.
"Oh hi, Cap.", I said with a smile, trying hard to pretend that nothing had happened yesterday.
"Hi, Tony. You've got to freshen up and come down.", He said with a beaming smile.
"But why? And wait, what's this song going on for?", I asked as he immediately whispered,
"Get in. It's too dangerous out here."
He stood opposite to me inside my room.
"Yeah, so what the heck has happened?", I asked putting my hands in the pockets of my pyjamas.
"Tony, it's your death anniversary.", He said plainly.
"What the-"
"Language.", Steve said his iconic dialogue giving me an intense urge to punch him.
"Damn your language! It's my freaking death anniversary and you're asking me to take care of my language?!", I said almost frustrated.
"Stark, listen to me. Calm down. You've got to understand that you are dead for the world. All you've got to do is stay calm and pretend like it's someone else's death anniversary.", He said like some expert.
"And why is this song being played?", I asked how crossing my hands in front of my chest.
"Because that's Pepper's favourite song, Tony. You should know.", He said like I had made some serious mistake.
Oh yes.
This was actually Pep's favourite song, and she loved to waltz with me on this. I could feel a lump in my throat but I managed to behave like it was nothing.
"So, get ready and come down. We're going to visit your grave.", Steve said as I nodded. He paused and slowly edged closer to me and pecked my lips.
"It will be okay, Tony. Now come down.", He said with a charming smile.
I smiled back, feeling the same mix of emotions.. half - happy and half - guilty.
I went down wearing formals.
A black suit with a white shirt, it was weird definitely to be present in person at your own death anniversary, but then after the things that had happened to me in the past few days it seemed nothing much.
"Oh there he is! Hello.", It was Sam Wilson.
"Hi.", I said quite unsure, I looked behind him to find Steve's best friend, looking exactly like someone who has come to a funeral. Long black hair almost falling over his face, as he was looking at Steve.
"I'm Sam Wilson, Falcon.", He said with a smile.
Bucky walked up to me and shook my hand.
"The winter soldier.", He said trying to smile.
I smiled with a nod controlling the urge to kill him, thanks to the Civil War between me and Steve caused because of him.
"I think we should be heading now. It's late.", This was Pepper's voice. It seemed broken, and why not?
It was my death anniversary.
I stood opposite to my grave.
Silently as everyone went and placed flowers on it. Pepper had been the first person, followed my Morgan who had been crying uncontrollably, along with her adopted brother Peter.
"It's your turn, Stark. Go on.", Stephen Strange said at last. I was the last person as I walked up to the grave and placed the bouquet of flowers.
"Okay, so I hope my body's chilling inside, because I'm disgusted out here. Happy Decomposing.", I said before moving away.
It was evening.
We were back to the Avengers Tower but Pepper had not returned. She had stood there rigidly waiting for all of us to go. Morgan was being consoled by her adopted brother, Peter as I sat staring blankly across the hall room where everyone else was busy talking. Steve was speaking to Bucky, Sam and Nat. Stephen was talking to The Queen. Steve seemed to have forgotten my existence as he met Bucky and Sam. Not that I was being jealous or something, but yes, it was irritating. I had called onto him many times but he was always busy with Bucky.
I sighed and stood up.
The graveyard was not very far and I knew what I had to do. I immediately walked out and to the graveyard. What could she be possibly do for so long there?
I thought as I walked into the graveyard. She was sitting by my grave blankly. As if in a daze. I walked up to her, the dry leaves rustled under my shoes.
"Pep.", I said as she immediately snapped out and stood up.
"You shouldn't be here.", She said wiping off her tears immediately.
She was in a black funeral dress, her hair in a loose pony tail.
"You need not hide those tears from me.", I said softly advancing towards her.
"Look, Tony, you know the thing is that you're gone and it's better if we don't come close because you love Steve and that's fine with me."
"Pep-"
"No like you love him, you can kiss him, do whatever you want to. I am no one to interfere.."
"Pep-"
"Tony trust me I'm fine with this-"
I pulled her by her arm towards myself as she finally felt silent. Fresh tears streamed down her eyes.
"Pepper Stark, listen to me for once.", I stated as she looked up at me, tired. She looked down and shut her eyes in frustration.
"Tony my hand hurts.", She whispered.
"I don't care.", I whispered back.
"Exactly. You don't care about anyone. I'm sorry it's just that I need time to accept this.", She said in pain.
"And I need you to listen to me.", I said as she looked up at me.
"Tell me Tony.", She said as I released her arm.