SHAWN'S POINT OF VIEW
Norah didn't answer my first call. Or my second. Or my third. By one in the afternoon, I was pacing back and forth in front of the large windows in my apartment with my phone in my hand, answering business calls when I had to and spending the rest of the time trying to control my anger that could easily also be described as need. Ms. Jennifer came in around two in the afternoon with the easy smile that she wore only on Saturdays plastered across her face.
"Hello, Mr. Mendes. How are you?"
"Fine," I snapped.
"Don't be so rude," She scolded as she waddled over to me with a fond expression. "What's gotten into you lately? You haven't eaten most of your dinners."
I frowned as I took her in, all bright cheeks and grey hairs, and standing in front of me with so much concern that I almost told her to leave. She had the same look in her eye that Norah got when I was leaving the football game and she fixed my hair.
"The merger deal is not going over as well as I had hoped," I responded.
It was true; the other company wasn't giving into my negotiations as quickly as I had hoped. But it was more about the way Norah was blatantly ignoring my calls. "And why not, sweetie?" I scowled at the term of endearment.
"Because they are idiots. Either way, their company is going to shit. They might as well go down with a little bit of dignity."
"So why are you standing here with your phone in your hand pacing and not screaming at them, huh?"
"Because I screamed at them on the phone last night," I huffed, kissing her briefly on the cheek before I scurried out of the room and down the long hallway go avoid further questions.
My office welcomed me with the sight of ceiling to floor windows, piles of paper that really needed to be sorted through, and the taunting sight of a jacket Norah had left a few days before. With a scowl, I sat down on the leather seat and began reading through the papers. Investments, policies, and negotiation were the only thing that filled my mind for the next three hours, at least until Ms. Jennifer knocked quietly on my door. Then my mind turned to Norah, which was the exact thing I didn't want. "Come in," I barked. She entered with a plate full of food in her hands. "You can just put it on my desk. Thank you."
The housekeeper placed it down gently, and I immediately noticed that it was the toasted peanut butter and jelly with throat coat tea that she always made for me when I was stressed, before she waddled back out of the room with a smile. "Call her," She ordered over her shoulder. My heart thudded so loudly I was sure she could hear it.
"She won't answer."
"And you just gave up? That's very unlike you, Mr. Mendes." Then she left, and I didn't bother asking her how she knew, because Ms. Jennifer was always coming up to me and saying shit that I didn't even know myself. The last time she had done that, she stalked into my office after Norah left, pointed her finger, and accused: you care about her, Mr. Mendes. That I had vehemently denied, to the point where I kicked her out of my office so I no longer had to listen to her ramblings. It was three days later that I sent Norah flowers, promised to try, and then ignored the housekeepers annoying 'told you so' stares when she found out. With a huff, I picked up my phone and dialed Norah's number one more time, and once again she didn't answer. The voicemail rang through her phone and I immediately hung up, this time scrolling through my contacts for the name Tyler that had been entered at some point in time. It rang a few times before a cheery voice answered.
"Tyler Parker's phone!"
"Russo? I need to speak to Norah."
There was a small choking sound, followed by scuffles and the sound of the receiver being covered up. After a minute of impatient waiting, his voice came through the phone again. "Sure, Shawn, one second. She just got out of the shower." That was enough to make my lip twitch in annoyance.
Then Norah spoke, quiet and uncertain, "Hello?"
"Norah, why the hell aren't you answering your phone?" I growled, ignoring the pang of relief and quickening pulse that came with the sound of her voice. She sighed softly.
"I've been busy. What up?"
That was the moment when I realized I had absolutely no logical reason to be calling her at all, especially not after she stomped away from the car and I watched her go without saying a word. I'd spent the car ride home glaring at N + S on the window and cursing myself. I pinched the bridge of my nose at the thought. "What time are we going to the club?"
"Oh. You don't have to come to that. Don't worry about it."
"Norah--"
"Shawn, please just don't worry about it. I'm sure you have something important to do, yeah?"
My fingers were clenching onto the edge of the mahogany desk with a mind of their own. Norah's voice was hesitant and raspy, as if any word she said might just send me over the edge. Which it might, at this point. "Yes," I huffed. "I do. We will have lunch tomorrow."
"Sure," She mumbled. "Whatever works."
For the first time since I'd known Norah, she hung up on me without waiting for a response. With a surge of anger, I threw the phone across the room and watched it hit the wall and shatter into tiny, silver pieces on the rich carpet, where it then died with a small beep. Ms. Jennifer rushed in only minutes later with a look of concern pulled over her face. I pointed coldly at the pile of glass on the ground and watched as her expression changed from concerned, to angry, then back to concerned. "This is the forth time," She said softly, turning to me with one hand on her wide hips. "That is four perfectly good phones you have broken."
"I will buy another." She glanced at the mangled phone.
"Why did you do it?"
"Norah does not want me to come to the club tonight," I said bitterly. "She said I don't need to worry about it, because I probably have more important things to do."
"I wonder why," Ms. Jennifer responded dryly. "Now really, sweetie, pick up this glass so I don't have to. And I'm not going to sit here and watch you be moody the entire weekend, so either go to the club voluntarily or get over it."
My lips pursed into a thin line. "I will go."
"Good, and try not be so mean for once in your life. You'd think that you'd act differently towards the girl you're in love with."
"I am not in love--" I spit out the word like venom. "--with Norah." She cracked a small smile.
"Mr. Mendes, it's so obvious that I'm not sure how she hasn't figured it out yet."
***************************
The tone of Norah's voice didn't change when I told her that I was, in fact, coming. It stayed exactly the way it had been every time I'd talked to her today: monotonous, hesitant, and raspy like she had just woken up. We sorted out the details before ending yet another phone call with an awkward click. After filling out more paperwork and two painfully annoying conference calls, I pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a button down, and hurried downstairs to the waiting car. The drive to Norah's seemed much slower than it usually was, so by the time I arrived, my knee was bouncing up and down in anxiousness. I took the stairs two at a time and let myself into the apartment, greeted by the sounds of Tyler's booming laughter and Norah's girlish squeals that brought an easy grin across my face; a grin that was immediately wiped off as I stepped into the living room.
"Come on, Rah!" Ian urged, beckoning her forward. "I swear I won't drop you this time!"
Norah was against the wall with her messy curls pulled up in a bun and arms crossed in defiance, looking so perfectly imperfect and so Norah that it made breath give out with a small huff. "You said that last time, Ian!"
He threw his head back and cackled. "I mean it this time, though!"
"This is fucking stupid,"
She pointed out, turning to look at the boys holding hands on the couch with a fake grimace, before bounding forwards and jumping into Ian's arms with a squeal. I watched from the doorway, completely frozen with anger, as he caught her around the waist and desperately tried to lift her fully up, before failing and letting her go with a bark of laughter. Her feet hit the floor with a soft thud, and, clumsy as ever, she stumbled into his arms like a fucking movie. Ian caught her with a grin before shooting Tyler a smirk.
"Maybe we aren't able to do the Dirty Dancing move, but you two sure as hell cant do it either."
Tyler burst into laughter, and Russo said, "Oh, hey, Shawn!"
Everyone then seemed to notice that I stood frozen in the doorway and greeted me with small waves, except Norah, whose shoulders immediately tensed as she glanced over at me. Her mouth pulled into a grim smile as she adjusted her shirt, then dropped her eyes to the ground. I was at her side in a second. "What the hell was that?"
"We were trying to do the dirty dancing move," She explained quietly. "Don't get all psycho on me tonight, because I'm really not in the mood."
"He was all over you," I growled.
She shook her head and turned away, leaving me to stare after her with my mouth hanging open before I got the sense to follow. Tyler greeted me with an easy grin, Russo with a fist bump, and Ian with an awkward handshake that caused us both to wince.
"Norah said you weren't coming," Russo stated. I shrugged my shoulders and searched blindly for her waist, or her hand, or for any part of her that I could touch to bring her to me.
"I changed my mind." My fingers found her waist a few seconds later, and I tugged her into my chest, trying to hold back the sigh of content when she nuzzled against my neck like always. Norah had on some leather shirt with damn cut outs in the back, which I realized when my fingers grazed over the revealed skin. "You should change," I mumbled into her hair.
"I like this shirt," She whispered back. "It's not even revealing, okay?"
"Norah." I could feel her pulling out of arms.
"Shawn."
Then she turned away from me, leaving only our fingers interlocked as a form of contact. Something was off with her; she wouldn't lean into my touch the way I liked, and she kept biting on her damn lip, and she was avoiding eye contact more than normal. I payed absolutely no mind to the conversation as we sat in the living room. Instead, I focused on the way Norah kept nuzzling into my shoulder and giving my hand a light squeeze, but she wouldn't even look me in the face. Thirty minutes later when they all finally decided they were ready, I gripped her waist and pulled her into my side to walk out to the car.
"What is the matter?"
A soft sigh escaped her lips. "Just tired, y'know? Couldn't sleep last night."
"Why not? Are you sick?"
"Yeah," She mumbled. "Think I'm coming down with a cold, or like, swine flu."
Her voice was a little bit higher than normal, giving away the lie like it always did. But before I could call her out, we were climbing into the cramped taxi they had called, all climbing over one another to try and squeeze into the back seat that was much too cramped. I pulled Norah into my lap easily, letting her hair tickle my neck as she snuggled back against me with a smile, bringing the usual scent of vanilla and Chanel no. 5 and strawberry soap.
"Did you have a good day?"
"Yeah. Hey eastwood," She called, leaning over Russo' lap to talk to the other boy. "eastwood, can I have my phone?" The brown-eyed boy pulled her silver iPhone out of his pocket and handed it to her.
"Just don't forget to give it back before we get there. Because I know you'll lose it, Rah."
Norah nodded and settled back into my lap, tapping away on her phone and apparently ignoring the glares I was trying to shoot at her. She only looked up when I tapped her knee with a scowl. "What?"
"I can hold your phone for you," I seethed. "And stop moving."
She stilled on my lap immediately. "Yeah, okay. Whatever."
The rest of the cramped car ride was spent by Norah letting out the soft little sighs and tightening her grip on my hand whenever I kissed her shoulder, specifically the two small freckles that sat right in the indentation of her collarbones.
"Mine," I whispered as we pulled up outside, and I didn't miss the way it came out almost like a question. She nudged the cool tip of her nose into my neck, sending shivers down my spine and a pang of need throughout my entire body.
"Yeah. Yours, and all that."
"And all that?" I frowned.
"Nothing," Norah said with a shrug. "Are you going to hold my phone or can I give it to eastwood ?" My fingers tightened on her waist involuntarily.
"You can call him Ian. That is his name, yes?"
"Yeah, but Eastwood is his nickname," She sighed.
"Whatever."
With that, she pushed open the door to the car and scrambled out, tugging her shirt down over the revealed strip of pale skin and reaching for Ian's arm as she called his name. I scowled and quickly hurried out after her. She smiled up at me before turning back to her ex-boyfriend. "Shawn's going to hold my phone. You wanna get that drink we always used to order? You know, the pink one that I made fun of you for getting?"
"A cosmo?" He laughed, and he looked down at her like she was a fucking ray of sunshine, and only the fact that her small hand was wrapped around mine kept me from punching him in the face. "Yeah, that!"
We stepped into the back of the line, Tyler and Russo in the front, followed by Norah, Ian, and I. The music from the club could be heard pounding through the walls already, and unfortunately it was one of the few I didn't own and couldn't tell them to turn it down. "You coming?"
Norah giggled, tugging my hand forward and bringing me to her. I responded by nodding and kissing her like I had wanted to all night because her hair was up in a ponytail just like I had hoped. "Let's go," I mumbled against her mouth, trying to ignore the fact that she still had on the shirt that revealed her back. And the fact that my heart was beating a little too quickly, and it wasn't from the excitement from the club. It was from the awkward girl who was now leading me through the crowd to the bar, her hands with bright red fingernails clenched onto my shirt so that we didn't get separated. Then I noticed her hand was also wrapped around Ian's in front of us.
"Let go of his hand," I hissed as we stepped up to the bar. "Now, Norah."
Her lips fell into a small frown as she looked at me and said, "Shawn, we aren't in a relationship." The words were filled with bitterness and a little bit of mocking, and made me regret every single time I had ever said that to her. I searched her face for the little smirk that would mean she was making a joke, but there was absolutely no sign of it and that only made it worse.
"But you're mine," I insisted desperately. "You're mine?"
"Christ, how many times do I have to tell you I am?" She shot back, taking a step closer so that I could hear and crossing her arms in defiance. "I'm yours. But maybe I want to hold hands with Ian, too." I could feel the color draining from my face as she spoke.
"What did you just say?"
"You heard me. I'm yours. And yeah, I want to be yours only, but apparently we aren't in a relationship, so whatever," She muttered. "Now can we please just have fun? Tonight's supposed to be fun."
For once, the only response I could manage was to nod. Norah smiled weakly as she reached forward, brushed the pad of her thumb across my cheekbone in a way that comforted me immediately, and then turned back to Ian. He looked down with a grin that quickly faded into concern. It made him look like a giant puppy dog and I once again had to resist the urge to knock him the fuck out, because Norah was mine to worry about.
"Rah, are you crying?"
"What?" She huffed, biting down on her lip and glancing over her shoulder at me. "No. Did you get my drink? You wanna dance?"
The raising of her voice and trembling lower lip gave away Norah's lie, sending pangs of guilt, jealously, and annoyance through me. But above all those feelings was the one I constantly denied to myself every time I reached for her just so we could be touching. I continued to ignore it the best I could as they stepped into the mass of dancing bodies, because that feeling made you weak and never worked out. This is fucking stupid, I thought as Norah threw her arms over Ian's shoulders, Ms. Jennifer had no idea what she's talking about. Not three seconds later I was rushing out into the dance floor after them.