Title: Tears Unnumbered
Author: v3Olympus
Reviewer: NathanRound
Summary: 5/5
Your summary flows wonderfully and gives us just enough insight to grab the reader's attention, while still withholding important plot points that needed to be hidden. The way you introduced the characters in your summary was near perfect. I love how you informed us of the conflicts at hand, the troubles each character goes through as well as the key themes that your novel consists of. So far, the themes and conflicts presented appear relatable and grounded into reality, from this alone I knew that I was being tugged down an emotional road.
I found it incredibly difficult to find any way you could improve your summary; believe me I searched every nook and cranny. So, one minor little detail that I am going to point out now, is this line below.
'With a character that sounds like she has come straight out of myth...'
I believe that rewording this line to something like, 'she appears to be torn straight out of myth and legend,' or 'she resembles something out of a myth,' would work a lot better. To the reader, her character will sound like that of myth for sure, but only because you describe her resemblance to the beings of Irish folklore to them. Make sense?
Grammar: 4/5
Your grammar is so close to perfection. searching for errors and mistakes seemed like a chore. Any mistakes that were made did generally go unnoticed as your writing is very professional. I'm sure you had intended to go back and edit your work, as you did state that this is a draft after all. I will not hold you responsible for the grammatical errors that did find their way into your novel for it happens to the best of us.
Just a quick note. Upon writing this review I found one teeny tiny mistake and then lost it; it took me hours to find it again.
At some points in your work, you either missed out certain words, or used the wrong word in its place. I will provide some examples down below.
- 'We're either going to starve ourselves out or fall I'll...' replace 'I'll' to 'ill.'
- 'we are supposed to be there each other Aoife...' you're missing the word 'for' in this sentence.
These are only small errors so don't beat yourself up and they are the ones that stood out the most. Just go back through your novel and thoroughly edit your work.
Writing Style: 4/5
Your writing style is truly amazing. Not many writers out there can utilize the present tense without making grammatical errors. You utilize metaphors and similes beautifully. The language you used is really formal and nostalgic which fits well with the time period your story is set in, and the way your characters converse mirrors the same qualities. However, you did slip into using abbreviations deeper into your story and they seemed a little out of place.
There are instances where you told instead of showed also, and this is mainly apparent throughout your story. It does work without it, but at some instances I would have liked to have been shown how the characters were feeling from a visual standard instead of being informed of how they felt. But don't worry too much about this, for your story is truly beautiful regardless.
I would have also liked to see descriptions of how the characters tones shifted. From a reader's perspective, your characters only seem to converse in one tone; I'm sure this was not your intention though. One example where you could integrate this into your story is this line below;
'If you do know what happened, then how can you expect me to forgive that? My sister died because he refused to help her!'
The exclamation mark in this line infers that Alma is yelling or raising her voice. However, you don't describe her doing this which I believe you need to do, especially when her tone appears to shift when she speaks again. It didn't affect the flow of your story all too much, but I would like to have known exactly how the characters spoke once in a while.
One thing I would like to point out is the fact that a few comments were made about the length of your story. Some viewers had informed you that your chapters were too short. I disagree with them. Your chapters were all the perfect length, and the way you ended them was truly amazing. Well done!
Plot + Uniqueness: 5/5
There are very little words I can use to tell you how much I adored your story. I myself have never read anything even remotely similar. It is both heart-warming and heart-wrenching, I found myself bingeing each chapter and I loved every second of it. I love how you stayed true to the legend of the Banshee. Everything about it was ripped straight out of myth. But you did take your own unique spin on it too, you turned the Banshee into a very deep and relatable character. But more on that later.
Your story is an incredibly powerful one. Despite the time period, and the famine that your story revolves around, I truly emphasised with the family conflicts that took place. It was very real and raw, I'm sure you noticed all the votes I had given; you truly deserve them.
I can definitely see this story getting the recognition it deserves, just go through and edit your story in the meantime.
Character Building: 4/5
I love Blathnaid. She's such an amazing character. Readers can truly understand her struggles; I adore how she differs from the typical Banshee. Banshees in literature are often portrayed as monsters who enjoy killing, but Blathnaid herself in not entirely responsible for the deaths, it just happens and is out of her control. This in itself is a very relatable thing, sometimes we can't control things in our lives and we must learn to live with that fact. Her remorse and pain are put forth very well and I loved how there were silver linings to her encounters with Aoife and Nolan.
Aoife and Nolan are a lovely pair. It is evident throughout your story how much Nolan cares for his cousin, the bond between the two is a strong one. Aoife and her fate are... sad but incredible. She knows her time is short and instead of dwelling on it, she pursues to make her wish a reality, to bring her family together. Such a selfless act brought a smile to my face, a family divided is a truly relatable topic.
OVERALL SCORE: 22/25
Thank you for choosing me as your reviewer. Your story will stick with me for a very long time and I truly enjoyed every second I spent reading it. I just want you to know that I do believe this story will get the recognition it deserves one day. It is professional, unique and incredibly remarkable. Just go through and edit it, and do not let the votes get you down for they will sky-rocket in the future. Much love your way.