Title: Inside Falls
Author: MinecraftFan11
Reviewer: Fanfictionist2004
Summary: 1/5
You don't really provide readers with information about your story. The summary of a story is one of the most important aspects of a story - readers look at your summary to decide if they should or shouldn't read your story. You should add information, like some of your characters and some plot points.
Grammar: 5/5
I didn't catch any grammar mistakes at all so great job on that.
Character Building: 2/5
You start your first chapter with a POV immediately. I suggest that you start off with explaining how Chara and Frisk look like, their hair color, skin tone, etc. From the first chapter, I can guess a bit of the characters personalities but so far both of them seem like the same person.
Writing Style: 4/5
I like your writing style, it is very unique. However you can try slowing things down a bit and just explaining what is going on instead of directly going into a major plot point, build suspense.
Plot + Uniqueness: 4.5/5
I think I have seen this idea on an episode of Gravity Falls, which is the only reason I cut half a point because you could have tried to switch up a few scenes, that is what fan fiction is for, to make scenes that we wished happen in shows/movies/books. Not everything was the same but you could have changed some scenes
OVERALL SCORE: 16.5/25
I am sorry for the rather short review but you only had one short chapter uploaded, I am also sorry for giving this to you so late, I hope you don't mistake my constructive criticism for rudeness. I honestly think that your story is excellent and you can take it to the next level.
YOU ARE READING
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