I stared at my feet, twisting my hands nervously and trying to breathe like a normal person. His gaze was practically burning into me as he slowly shut my door, locking it with a click. I pinched my eyes shut and waited for him to starting talking. After a moment, I realized keeping my eyes closed around Shawn Mendes was probably a bad idea.
First of all, because I wouldn't get to see his gorgeous face, and second of all because he would probably take full advantage of it. I slowly raised my gaze to meet his and regretted it immediately. He narrowed his eyes at me and cocked his head to the side, causing chills to run down my spine. I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair once before his hands fell to his side. He let out a deep breath and clenched his jaw.
"Why are you here?" I whimpered.
With that, he was striding around my desk purposefully until his body was pressed against mine, forcing me to walk backwards until I was stopped by the wall. I could smell his usual cologne. He had on a black peacoat, and black shirt, black skinny jeans, and weathered down brown boots. It was so unlike Shawn Mendes, but also the most himself I had ever seen him.
"Why didn't you answer me?" He growled, nuzzling into my neck.
The tone of his voice and his soft actions contradicted themselves completely. I chewed on my lip before speaking. One of hands rested cautiously on his stomach. His muscles were tense under my fingers.
"Because I didn't want to."
"Bullshit!" He practically yelled, letting one hand slap the wall. I flinched away from the noise and tried to hide my whimper. He took another deep breath and when he spoke again, his voice was quieter and raspy.
"I know you wanted to answer me, Norah."
"Not really," I lied.
"You are a horrible liar," He hissed.
"Now tell me why you aren't talking to me."
"I don't want to date you, or whatever. I saw you with Cara and that's just...that's just not really my thing. I'm not doing this with you."
"Doing what?" He laughed bitterly, taking a step back.
"Dating? Did you honestly think we were ever going to date? How naive are you?" My gaze dropped to the ground and let my hair fall in front of my face, crossing my arms protectively over my chest.
"No."
"You did, didn't you?"
"It doesn't matter. I don't want anything to do with you."
"Stop lying."
"Stop being such an arrogant bastard!" I yelled.
"You think you can come in here then scare the shit out of me and force me into another date? No! I'm not putting up with you anymore. You're mean, and controlling, and I don't know why I ever agreed to go out with you."
His eyes hardened and he stepped forward once again, letting his body tower over mine. Shawn placed his hands on either side of my head and stared directly at me. His normally bright eyes were a dark shade brown.
"Don't ever talk to me like that again," He hissed.
And then he kissed me. His mouth slammed against mine with so much anger and passion, my lips seemed to burn at his touch. He let his hands tangle themselves in my brown locks and tilted my mouth up to his, giving him a better angle. I gasped as he ran his hands down my back, over my butt, before stopping at my thighs. With a wicked smirk, he picked me up and carried me over to the desk. He set me down and stepped in between my legs, mouth on mine immediately once again.
"Stop," I murmured against his lips.
"Shut up."
"Shawn."
"Norah," He mimicked, finally pulling away.
"Please leave." He rolled his eyes and kissed me again, his tongue slipping into my mouth almost immediately. His hands pulled me closer to the edge of my black desk as he pressed his hips into mine. His large fingers held my waist, keeping me from pulling away.
"Don't ever fucking ignore me again," He whispered hoarsely into my ear before nipping at my earlobe, and then trailing kisses down my neck. I felt his mouth pull into a smirk right above my collarbones before he began sucking harshly. I let out an involuntary moan and he gently bit down, then kissed the red mark and brought his piercing gaze back to mine.
"Do you understand? He muttered, hand grasping my chin and keeping my eyes locked on his. I somehow managed to find my words.
"I saw you with her."
"With who?"
"Cara. I went to bring back your suit jacket, and she was in your office or whatever. And I saw you guys. But obviously it doesn't matter, because we aren't dating." I explained.
He rolled his eyes at me, pulling me closer to the edge and keeping our bodies pressed together. "Norah, I don't date. I'm a 24 year old CEO. My business comes first. Then I fuck and I play golf, and then I go back to work."
I scowled at him. "So let me get this straight. You fucking almost punched a guy when I danced with him, and I'm supposed to let you have sex with anyone you want?"
"Yes."
"That's bullshit," I hissed, anger rising with every stupid word that spilled out of his pretty mouth. "Get out of my office."
His fingers dug into my hips to keep me where I was, completely helpless under him. "No. Will you just fucking listen?"
"I don't want to hear what you have to say!" I yelped, shoving him backwards. I slid off the edge of my desk and adjusted my shirt. "You shouldn't have come here, and you shouldn't have kissed me."
"You kissed me back."
"Because you make me feel all these conflicting emotions that I don't understand! It's awful!" I stammered.
"You sit here with your poker face and nothing ever affects you, but I actually have feelings. I'm not letting myself get hurt!"
"Norah," He sighed, stepping towards me with his hand outstretched. I hastily stepped away and he tried to hide his frustration, letting one hand run through his hair.
"You're mine. Look at the mark on your neck. Mine." There was a long pause in the conversation as I looked at him awkwardly, taking in his toned chest that the black t-shirt clung tightly to, and his now messed up curls, and his swollen pink lips. He was so beautiful it was almost cruel. I took a deep breath before speaking to calm myself.
"But you aren't mine?" I asked quietly. The color rose to my cheeks and I stared at the ground helplessly.
"No."
"Leave, please." He stepped towards me again and caught my waist before I could step away. His long fingers, clad with silver rings, tugged my chin up to look at him.
"The last thing I would ever do is hurt you."
"I don't believe you." His eyes flickered with uncertainty.
"Norah, I am not going to date you. I will not be your boyfriend because we are not in the fucking sixth grade. My business is first. But I want you to be mine. Because I know you want me just as bad."
"You're a hypocrite."
"Yes I am," He admitted. "But I see how your body responds to me. How you respond to me. You get chills, and you glance at my lips constantly. Why don't you just give in?"
"I'm not made for this. I'm not made to just be a fuck buddy, or whatever."
"Not a fuck buddy. Mine," He corrected quietly.
My heart pounded at his words. It sounded so nice, to be his. He would hold me, and kiss me, and protect me, and I would get to be around him often. I would get to kiss his soft lips and rake my hands through his hair. But I would also get to be yelled at and bossed around. And he wouldn't be mine. It was the worst offer anyone had ever made me, but arguably also the best.
"For being a business man, you don't know how to negotiate worth shit," I scowled. Much to my surprise, he let out a loud laugh and leaned down to kiss me check, lingering for a moment to long. I cringed away from his hot, minty breath fanning across my cheeks.
"Don't be difficult, Norah," Shawn smiled.
"Don't be a dick, Shawn," I mimicked. I could feel his hands tighten around my waist as his smile turned to pursed lips, all amusement from earlier gone in a second.
"Come over tonight. We will have dinner and talk."
"No."
"Yes."
"No," I repeated. I could hear my own hesitance in my voice.
"As usual, it was not a question. Mark will pick you up at seven," He stated as he finally released my waist. "We will have dinner and discuss, like adults." I groaned and let my head fall into my hands.
"This isn't some business deal, Shawn. This is the real world, with like, feelings and stuff."
"I know," He said simply.
"So I will see you at seven."
"Why aren't you wearing a suit?" I asked. I chewed on the inside of my lip as I waited for a response.
"Because I did not go to work today."
"Where did you go?"
"Stop asking questions. It is annoying."
"Get out of my office, please," I mumbled, picking at my silky pants to avoid looking at him.
"Just go. I'll come to your stupid apartment tonight if you just go. You're overwhelming." His expression went black and he gave me a curt nod, leaning down to give me another kiss on the cheek, the curls that I had missed so much tickling me.
His lips and curls were a deadly combination, and from the smirk he gave me after I sighed in content, he absolutely knew it. I watched him warily as he stepped towards the door of my office, turning around before he opened it. A hint of guilt flashed across his face but was quickly wiped away.
"You probably shouldn't come over tonight. You are right about me."
"I know." He nodded his head thoughtfully and shoved his hands into his black peacoat.
"You are going to come anyway. Against your better judgment, I assume?"
"I am."
"Good. I will see you at seven. And you have something on your shirt." My face flushed crimson as I glanced down at the stain.
"I spilled yogurt when you showed up. It scared me."
"Oh," He muttered, pausing for a second with one hand on the doorknob to look at me. He narrowed his eyes and tugged his lower lip into his mouth. I knew immediately that whatever he was about to say, I wasn't going to like it. His entire demeanor hardened.
"You are already mine. You know it just as much as I do, Norah." He stated coldly. And then he slammed the door behind him, leaving behind the slight scent of his cologne and coconut shampoo. I collapsed into my chair in a helpless mess. Our interaction had left me weak at the knees and with a pounding headache. He was the most confusing, exhilarating man I had ever met.
Each time I was around him, I was drawn to him. His presence consumed me to the point where I could do nothing but agree with him and then regret it later. Maybe it was because he was just scary. But, maybe it was because in the back of my mind, I knew he was right.